Archive for January, 2010

Date: January 15th, 2010
File Under: Entertainment, Live your best life, Tragedy
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Episode 6: Oprah Fridays Live

Oprah is live in Chicago and is deeply saddened by the catastrophic loss in Haiti. CNN’s Anderson Cooper was one of the first journalists on the scene, he joins us now.

Anderson Cooper says that each day is its own kind of horror- there is desperation fear, frustration, and aftershocks- after which you hear people screaming and screaming. People can’t go back to their houses, so are crammed into public spaces like parks. Even seasoned journalists like Anderson Cooper have never seen anything like this. The hospitals and clinics are utterly overwhelmed- people are dying stupid unnecessary deaths which should not be happening. You can die of a broken leg with an open wound because there are no antibiotics which cost pennies. The cemetries are utterly overwhelmed, there is nowhere to put all the bodies. They are opening old crypts and shoving in bodies. The dead are just going to disappear, there are no photographs, no records. No one will know where there relatives are or where they can grieve.

Oprah says she heard a mass grave was dug for 7000 people; Anderson says he hadn’t seen that. He is trying to keep everything very factual, to only report what he or another CNN correspondent has actually seen as their is so much hysteria with so many rumors spreading. Oprah recounts some of the footage on the 360 show. He believes some people may still be trapped alive, and that every minute counts. There is essentially no government to rely on in Haiti- the international rescue workers are a remarkable sight. The heroes here are the Haitian people, everyone is banding together to dig through the rubble with their barehands. Oprah reiterates that this is unbelievable suffering for an already troubled people. The best thing to do is to step up and give to the Red Cross. Thanks to Anderson Cooper.

Last night Stedman and Oprah went to a movie theatre for the first time since Dances With Wolves. Wowee Kazowee, was Avatar the best thing. In four weeks Avatar is the highest grossing movie, after Titanic. Director James Cameron is the man behind the film, he is a visionary genius. Every second of this 3 hour film came from his own imagination. He had a team of 3000 people and 10000 computers. For four years they worked around the clock on this movie.

They say I see you in Na’vi. Oprah says this is a Sidney Poitier moment- when she was ten she saw him receive an Academy Award and Oprah thought if he can do that what can she do. She felt that way this morning. Oprah asks if he is spiritual and Cameron says he probably is. The environmental message and the sense that we are all connected is the basis for the film. Oprah says that all the energy and good karma of the film will come back to him- with lots of money- to do so much good in the world. This is the message Oprah sees over and over in her life; we all want to be seen, to be really seen, to be understood.

This movie connects with so many people, especially women – on opening night 78% of the audience were male; now it is split 50-50. The idea for the film came from his love of nature, which he has had since he was a child. As a scuba diver he became aware of nature’s imagination. The story communcicates with people, especially women. There’s a fine line between cliché and archetype. The writing came out in a gush. A botanist designed and labelled every plant, and a linguist made a language so that there is a common accent and a common language. Cameron only knows the lines in the movie, can’t say wowie kazowie in Na’vi.

Normally he can’t watch his movies, but with this one he can still marvel at the effects, the flying scenes, as he didn’t create them. Normally Oprah watches movies at Harpo studio, last night they actually went to a movie theatre. After doing this film, Cameron has a different view of trees. They both talk of mourning trees when they fall down. As the film makes money they will make a sequel. Oprah shows images of herself as an Avatar. She asks if he’s difficult to work with- he invites her to act in the next one and find out. He says he is intense and has energy- he only and works for 16-18 hours a day. He took a half day off with the swine flu. He did not nail cell phones to the wall, he says you have to use a screw gun otherwise it is too messy. His idea of fun is hanging out with the kids and playing lego, doing science projects, just hanging out with the family. Or going to the desert and playing on dirt bikes or going scuba diving. They are on cloud nine about the response to the film, it is a worldwide success. It may knock Titanic off the top spot. Oprah wishes him continued success and tells everyone to go see the movie.

Lady Gaga is the hottest thing in music. In 15 months: 8 million records sold, 6 Grammy nominations and the first artist in history to have 4 number 1 hits on her debut album. Here she is, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga comes onstage with her troupe of dancers. The crowd stand and clap/ dance. The performance over, the crowd applaud. Born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, she had a strict Catholic upbringing, with a privileged NY background- Paris Hilton was her classmate. She likes being called Gaga. She can’t believe her life right now, she can’t believe all her fans, how lucky she is. She has always been a really creative visual person which not everyone knows. She wanted to paint herself blue but now Avatar came out. The name comes from Radio Gaga the Queen song. The first time she performed onstage, her father thought she was nuts. The shock art visual art performances have meaning, the VMA performance was about Diana and the media and Gaga’s relationship with Diana. Looking at her outfits she explains that they are all considered, they all have meaning; the Kermit dress speaks of how she doesn’t wear fur, meeting the Queen she wore a latex dress homage to the Queen.

She wakes up in the morning and spends the whole day planning creatively. Its all about being provocative, but being true to her vision. She spends the day arguing with the House of Gaga about what she wants to do. She says she should be able to bleed out on daytime TV if she wants. She says her work is about being true to herself and commenting on the crazy media-saturated world in which we live.
We see a backstage view of her life, her vision. All of the songs have an outfit to go with them. She show us the infamous disco bra she made herself. She says she dresses the same onstage and off. She is bossy and spends hours on the phone getting her dream show perfect. They do a prayer before the show which ends with “Joanne” her aunt who died whom she believes is on the stage with her every night.

Oprah says it looks like the most fun in the world but she was just talking to Gaga who was saying that her life is isolated, her friends are her fans. She is removed from the celebrity world. Gaga wants to say that there is Ghandi and there is Oprah, and Oprah is an amazing woman, and we really love her. We must remember that there is nothing more inportant than what is happening than Haiti. Gaga grew up in NY during 9/11 and always felt that people didn’t understand what young people were going through. All proceeds from the Monster Ball ticket sales on the 24th January and all merchandise sold on that day goes to help Haiti. Oprah’s job is to continue to talk about this in the coming weeks so we don’t forget the suffering.

Gaga is a secret foodie. Fried chicken this morning helped her find her soul, so she had a renewed soul to be on Oprah. Gaga wants people to free themselves, celebrate who they are and celebrate what they dislike about themselves. Be good to your parents, be good to yourself. she loves her fans and wants to look in their beautiful eyes. It’s about what makes you feel good. She has made some heartbeat headphones and everyone is going home with a pair of Lady Gaga headphones. Thanks everyone

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Every day since the earthquake in Haiti brings it’s own kind of horror

The heroes here are the people of Haiti

There is a fine line between cliché and archetype

Be provocative but true to your vision

Be good to your parents, be good to yourself, celebrate yourself

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Be good to your parents, be good to yourself, celebrate yourself, go see Avatar

Date: January 14th, 2010
File Under: Family, Grief, Looking for love, Relationships

Episode 5: Nate Teams Up with the Millionaire Matchmaker

41 year old Robin’s plea was to be helped out by Nate Berkus. She was the homecoming princess, she always had a boyfriend: who knew she’d end up a single cat lady? She feels she still looks good but she is picky. She’s given up hope, she is thinking of getting another cat to bring home to the three she already has. She needs Nate, “please Oprah send him to me” she implores.

Nate comes out to wild applause. Oprah says he smells good. They speak of the three cat limit, how a line is crossed beyond that. Oprah tells us that Nate is very straight talking in matters of the heart, but he has never done matchaking so he called in Patti Stanger, a third generation matchmaker. She is on Bravo TV’s The Matchmaker. Patti and Nate team up to help Robin. They look at her man-wishlist. She wants smart and unmarried, she says quitting is not an option, she doesn’t want someone’s ex. Patti and Nate disagree- the best kept secret is the divorced man because they can commit; 90% will stay second time around. Robin does not want a man who drinks out of a straw- Patti and Nate say this can’t be on the dealbreaker list. Dealbreaker’s include religion and politics, not straws. Robin says she can be intense, maybe it scares men away. Patti thinks this is scary, like Robin is interviewing for her new husband- the men pick up on her vibration. Oprah implies that Robin’s vibration is like a panting, no-straw repeating dog.

Robin doesn’t understand why she is still single. Her new dating coaches say it may have something to do with her expectations. Nate reads from her huge list of requirements including no Facebook page, no kids, no straw-drinking; good-looking, athletic, generous, no smoking, likes sweets, handy, with a big family he loves and success in all he does. Robin doesn’t believe this man exists. Patti and Nate say this list shows the girl is too high maintenenace. Patti doesn’t want her to miss out on a great opportunity because of the list. Nate thinks she has added so many items to the list to counteract previous disappointments. Oprah says that the person on the wish list does exist and his name is Jesus. The crowd go wild. Robin was asked to narrow the list down to five attributes. She picks honest, smart, passionate, funny/ silly and successful. Successful could mean money, Robin thinks she could potentially be comfortable if she earned more money than the man, like if he was a teacher and loved it despite it being a badly paid profession.

Patti forced Robin to choose the dealbreaker’s, the values. This is not about lowering expectations- this is a person with frailties; Robin is not buying a car or ordering a pizza. Patti says that people think that they order from a wishlist and God will deliver it tomorrow. We need to reprogram our brain to think that the man is alive and out there. Dating should be fun, not a dentist visit. You are not human resources, stop interviewing. Women looking for men should go skiing, men outnumber women 5-1 and they are rich; you don’t have to ski just sit in the lodge and drink the hot toddies. Most guys go skiing alone, with their buddies.

Robin goes out on a date while Patti and Nate are staking them out in a van outside the restaurant. Robin meets Rick while the coaches are in the surveillance van. Everyone is smiling. Rick looks at the wine list and Robin says she’ll actually have a beer. Rick is happy that she’s having a beer- Patti says that’s excellent, it shows that she is low maintenance, Rick says something very similar. Nate observes that Robin drinks from the bottle yet has a straw issue. They send her a note from the van saying that she’s doing well, then later one saying let your hair down. She tells the guy what they want and he says she should work with them. Nate and Patti say she is dumbing herself down in the conversation. They send her a note asking to meet her in the bathroom, where she says Rick is too old- she guesses he is probably her age. She wants someone in their thirties. Back in the studio they discuss with Oprah that she was being too cutesy, and dumbing herself down. Robin feels that men her age are too old- they have old hearts or old spirits and Robin is young at heart. Oprah says that something peculiar happens to men in their fiftiess, but not in their forties’s. They discuss the issue that she wants someone unmarried but those she meets are set in their ways. She wants a man in his mid-thirties and Oprah says that those men want women in their twenties.

Patti told Nate that the person asking the questions is the one who is pursuing. Oprah tells Robin that this isn’t the hotseat, but rather the warm and fuzzy Oprah show. Robin is representative of the millions of single women watching the show. Oprah says she hated the taking down of the hair, that it was too overt, too contrived. Patti felt the conversation was drifting and that the only way to shift that was sexually. Oprah says she literally was trying to perk things up. Patti wants Robin to know that she is amazing and she’ll help Robin find someone in the real world, off-camera. Patti has a newly released book.

It has been five years since Nate experienced loss in the tsunami in the Indian Ocean. When the disaster struck, Nate was right in the middle of it. He and his partner were vacationing. Miraculously, Nate lived through the catastrophe but Fernando did not. A few weeks later Nate came on the air and talked about his experience, his tragedy. He and Fernando were carried out to the water, where Fernando slipped away. Oprah says it has been five years, and asks Nate how the grief process has been. He says that when Oprah came to his house he couldn’t find any reason to get out of bed. He had daily therapy, Oprah asks if it taught him more about himself. He says he is unrecognisable to the person he used to be.

In 1996, Angela and Jeff had a two year old, Bryce, and the they found out they were having twins. Eric and Aaron were unseparable; as newborns they held hands. They were always together, having fun. When the twins were six, Angela and Jeff noticed a change in Eric, he would fall down the stairs. He was diagnosed with a benign brain tumour. The radiation therapy shrunk the tumour, but it later came back as cancer and Eric died when he was nine. Aaron didn’t do well at all, all he did at school was cry. Aaron says he didn’t feel like life, he was going through the motions, but not really living. Aaron would write notes to Eric to tell him what he was doing. Nate went to their house to do a business plan, but he recognised himself in Eric. Nate called the Oprah Show and said this story is not about a business plan, it is about grief and grieving.

Nate says he can see that the parents are doing their best to keep the family together. Angela feels it just doesn’t go away, some days she has to be under the covers. Some days just stick in her face that he’s gone. Nate says that December, the month of the tsunami and August, the month of Fernando’s birthday were horrorible. Then he realised that the dates have no power. The memory has the power and the memory could come whenever, thus Nate took the power back. Angela tells Oprah that this advice really helped her. Oprah remembers that Camille Cosby said after her son was murdered that everyone has to walk through the fire at some time, that we have to walk right through it.

Oprah knows many of us have struggled through grief. Eric’s depression got so bad that he said he didn’t want to be here anymore. They went to the family paediatrician. The doctor tells Nate that Aaron was unrecognisable. She asked him what he likes to do, he said cook, so the doctor gave him $20 and told him to cook for his brother, and that she was an investor and needed a business plan. A week later he returned to the doctor with a tray of cookies and a big smile. He pays his big brother $2 a day to help out and he gives a portion of his proceeds to the charities that helped Eric.

Oprah says the story is beautiful but she is crying because the doctor did not just put Eric on anti-depressants. God Bless You she says. That is amazing. Angela noticed a change immediately. Aaron got a sense of pride and self-esteem. He thinks of his brother with every cookie he makes. His favourite cookie is inspired by Paula Dean, his favorite chef, the recipe: chocolate gooey butter cookies. In comes Paula Dean with a tray of cookies and hugs Eric. She hugs Angela and Oprah.

Paula Dean, Food Network superstar, built her empire from working out of home cooking up lunches. She turned to her kitchen when she lost her parents. Only in the kitchen would she be able to forget about her loss. She says Aaron can go to the kitchen and celebrate his brother’s life and make his brother proud. Nate recounts the kitchen challenges they have at home- they’ve been through five mixers, the oven is broken and they broke a wooden spoon. Paula remembers she broke a bowl on the Oprah Show. Lowe’s donates a $10,000 gift card to Aaron to outfit the kitchen for his business. The audience each get a $100 gift card. And Lowe’s will donate to two of Aaron’s favourite charities for each gift card that is purchased between now and Valentine’s Day, with a guaranteed donation of $125,000 each to Casey Cares and Make A Wish.

Paula and Nate have cooked up one more surprise for Aaron, they are going to fly him to Georgia to get a behind the scenes look at how Paula’s business works. They look at Paula’s brand new heels that aren’t even hers. Oprah thanks everyone.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

There is a three cat limit, beyond this a line has been crossed

The best-kept dating secret is the divorced man

When dating you are not Human Resources: stop interviewing

In grief, the date does not have the power, the memory has the power

In the kitchen, one can be creative and temporarily forget loss

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Finding a partner is not the same as buying a car or ordering a pizza.

Date: January 13th, 2010
File Under: Family, Marriage, Relationships

Episode 4: Marriage Around The World

Those of you who have been married a long time could write a book about it, yet the institution of marriage is changing around the world. Last year Oprah went to copenhagen, and was so impressed by relationships and life there. One of the people who showed Oprah around Copenhagen, Nanna, is now taking us to Cairo.

In the old part of Cairo, twenty times more populated than Copenhagen, we go to meet Heba, an interior designer. Nanna says that in Denmark it is very safe, extremely safe; what about here? Nanna is surprised to hear that Cairo is also extremely safe. Egypt has the highest divorce rate, one in three marriages end in divorce. Nanna lives with her boyfriend of 14 years, but they are unmarried. In Cairo this is unacceptable. Even after Heba’s divorce she would not live with a man without marriage. After divorce, women tend to move in with parents; Heba lives with her Mum. Nanna says that in Denmark every woman works, in Cairo almost all women stop working when they have kids.

Oprah says this is interesting. Nanna joins the conversation by Skype. What is Nanna’s impression of women in Egypt? Many women wear scarves but many of the younger have tight clothing, lots of make up and a scarf, which she found to be contradictory. Heba says to wear a scarf means you are more traditional, more pious, and to not wear a scarf means that you are more open minded. She sits next to Injy who is wearing a scarf. Oprah asks if there is tension between the scarf wearers and non-wearers. All present on Skype answer in the affirmative. Heba says that women are judged on their scarf, despite the tenets of religion which says don’t judge others. Injy disputes the idea that no scarf means you are more contemporary and more open-minded. She says scarf wearing and non-scarf wearing runs across the gamut.

Nanna asks three Egyptian women, Heba, Injy and Dr Heba, how much the scarf wearing is religion or culture. They say all religion. Injy clarifies that in wearing the scarf you are causing people to not lust after you, not to want you. Nanna tells them that in Denmark being found to be sexy is very desirable. Heba will not wear a scarf, she says her religion is more a spiritual sense. Dr Heba says this means she’s not religious. Heba responds that people say you can choose to wear the scarf or not, that it is the choice of the individual, but that you are judged at the same time.

Nanna goes to Dr Heba’s home, where she lives with husband and three daughters. Dr Heba introduces Helen who helps them out in the home- she says it’s not hard to have a maid in India because it costs such a tiny amount of money. Everyone loves yoghurt, Danes and Egyptians. There are lots of creams but no make-up in the bathroom. Nanna seems disturbed by all the colors in Dr Heba’s daughter’s room. Nanna says that in Denmark the whole room would be pretty much white.

Oprah thinks it is interesting that making ones self attractive to men is all we do here in the US. Injy says that attemping to create a lustfull reaction in the opposite sex is absolutely not a priority. She has prioritised her religion by choosing to wear the scarf two years ago. Nanna talks to some women about divorce- women have only been able to initiate divorce within the last ten years. A man can divorce simply by saying you are free to go, whereas the women have to go to court for a trial. In Denmark, Nanna says no one ever gets married before living together. Injy clarifies that this does mean that the whole country is living in sin by Egyptian standards.

Injy says that Egypt is a very sexually frustrated country. There is no sex before marriage, but men often have no money to marry, and consequently have no sex until they are in their thirties. Islam endorses a healthy sex life between married people and encourages foreplay and pleasure within that structure. Oprah asks why Heba is so quiet. Heba is very awkward, says she is more liberal and open minded. She says that a relationship culminates in marriage. Without necessarily living with your partner, it is long term. Oprah asks if people who are not strictly religious are having sex before marriage. Alot of people says Heba. (The audience laughs)

Divorce is on rise, Injy says that this is because men are no longer men, and women no longer women. There is serious confusion. Neither gender complies with the stereotype, yet each expects the other to live up to the stereotype. Oprah says Denmark has an extreme sense of equality, does Nanna feel the same in Egypt? Nanna says no, as illustrated by the ability for a man to divorce his wife by text message, while women need to go to trial. She declares that this is unfair in her opinion.

Do the Egyptian women feel repressed? Heba does feel repressed as a woman to a certain extent. There are still many things that she can’t do. Injy doesn’t feel repressed but is aware that she is not representative of the population. Oprah has never been to Egypt, but will go as soon as she can. Not only is Egypt promoted by Obama as a country to visit, but now she alos knows two people who live there. Oprah will go to Egypt soon, thanks to everyone.

Oprah interviews two indignant Palestininians in the audience, speaking on behalf of Muslims. They say that men can’t divorce by text message. A man must actually say it 3 times. Oprah clarifies that the bottom line is that women must go to court for a divorce, while men jsut speak their desire.

Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert wrote about recovering from divorce and learning to love again. The author is featured in Oprah Magazine this month. Oprah comments on the difference between how she looks in the morning versus how she is portrayed on the cover of the magazine.

Elizabeth Gilbert says we have this sweet and lovely idea that traditional marriage is a union between one man and one women. This is not the case- marriage was usually an agreement between one man and several women, for economic or family-building reasons. She says the only thing that is consistent about the history of marriage is the element of change. Usually for many women, the idea of the golden age of marriage now means nothing. In 1967 interr-racial marriage made legal, the same arguments being made before that ruling apply now for gay marriage. Now there is the idea of the wifeless marriage- many people want to be married without becoming, or having, the traditional idea of the wife.

100,000 women become mail order brides. Ukraine, which is the size of Texas, is known for beautiful women, most of whom work in low-paid jobs, Women see marriage as a way out. Lera became a mail order bride to be able to move to US. It was an arrangement for a visa and green card; the husband is simply an extra. She says she had low standards and was only really after conversation. She did however want to be liked for her self so her online picture was not a tight short red dress image, like the majority of the Ukrainian pictures.

Steve, a man in his 50’s was the third man to reply to her email. They got to know each other over the internet. Steve came to visit in Kiev, Steve was already in love with her. They got married 2 days after she arrived in the US six years ago. Lera takes us back to show the life she left behind in Ukraine; the house where she grew up, now shared by mother and brother. Her parents are doctors which is a government profession in Ukraine, and thus very badly paid. Growing up, there were lots of sacrifices. They would eat bread, cheese and white fish. Lera’s mother never knew of anyone who got married in the way Lera did, and she didn’t think it would end well. We see an internet cafe- where Lera says everyone is secretly online looking for a husband. Age 17,18 or 19 is considered to be marital age. Lera’s friend got married at 18, she is now on second marriage at 26. She looked for a man who could allow her to stay home with her 8 year old. Lera’s unmarried brother wants his hypothetical wife to stay home, he doesn’t want her to work. Lera can’t wait for Ukraine to catch up with her ideas.

Lera and Steve are in the studio; they say there marriage is very happy, unexpectedly so. This was a surprise; she was looking for a visa and he was looking for someone to talk to in the lonely post-9/11 weeks in Manhattan. Lera admired the fact that Steve could make things happen and could take her places. There was an element of courtship, Steve legitimately dated her for many months, he came to Kiev. Oprah asks if it would be fair to say that Lera was just using him as a ticket out of Ukraine. Pretty Much, says Lera.

Oprah asks if this is now a traditional marriage? Lera says neither of them are traditional people. Steve is a music producer, with an untraditional life. He has been married before. He says that after 9/11 people had a different take on relationships and life. Oprah says hmm. Lera’s family likes him now, likes that he takes care of her. Lera wanted and liked the ability to live in NYC. Oprah was so impressed by Danish women and their lack of needing someone to take care of them; their strong independence. Lera says that in Ukraine, the bargaining power of women is very very little. By 20, they are considered old, by 25 some doctors tell you not to have children.

Thank God we live in the USA proclaims Oprah, who then goes on to say that it is interesting because it shows that all arrangements can work.

For 95% of Indian couples, first comes marriage then the possibility of love. We know go to Mumbai which has one of the fastest growing global economies. Where old meets new, we meet 31 year old Shalin and 27 year old Sneha. They met over dinner with both of the families, which was very, very awkward. Too many relatives perhaps? He went back to see her a week later and spent the day with her. He was sure there was a spark, so he asked her if he should proceed to ask his parents to ask her parents to go forward with the marriage. 5 months later they shared their first kiss at their wedding ceremony. Shalin says he tells his friends that the first 24 hours of marriage are the most special. This is when you begin figuring out what the other wants and likes, if they like tea or coffee. Shalin smokes, Sneha didn’t know. She slept on the same side of bed that he wanted to sleep in. Arranged marriages aren’t meant to force you together with someone, rather you slowly grow into them.

Oprah says that more than half of the worlds marriages are arranged, like 60%. Shalin and Sneha join us by Skype. He says the marriage is arranged by love. The family finds you someone wth whom you are compatible. The relationship grows into compatability and love. Oprah asks if the idea is that you hope to love one day? Yes, says Sneha, infatuation is what happens overnight; love takes longer. Oprah asks if they now love each other, after 5 1/2 years. Yes is the answer.

Oprah says that is fascinating to look at how we are all alike and yet different. With so many arranged marriages in the world, there must be something in it. Thanks everyone, the conversation continues straight after the show at the brand new website Oprah.com.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Everyone loves yoghurt, both Danes and Egyptians

Divorce is on the rise because men are no longer men and women are no longer women

The history of marriage is not what we believe it to be

Mail order brides can lead to lasting love

Arranged marriages are very popular and often successful

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

All arrangements can work out, we are all different. Thank God we live in the USA.

Date: January 12th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Makeover

Episode 3: From 52, Feeling Frumpy to Fabulous! Look Great at Every Age Makeovers

Age-defying transformations… She is the force behind two of the highest grossing movies ever, she is married to Tom Hanks and always looks great. Rita Wilson is a Hollywood bigwig in her own right, she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mama Mia. For the past three years this down to earth fashionista has been writing a column for Harper’s Bazaar. Rita Wilson is the girlfriend you wish you have, please welcome her to the studio.

Rita is happy to be here. She always loved fashion, even as a kid but when she was 14 she was discovered and started modelling for Harper’s Bazaar. That is just a coincidence , or maybe it was meant to be. Her mom sewed everything for them growing up; they picked the patterns, colors, styles, and fabrics. Rita developed her own style through style and error. In a montage of her most memorable mishaps we see the pouf dress, to which Rita says “pouf be gone”. In the 80’s she had an assymetrical hairdo which was Flock of Seagulls meets Miami Vice. Oprah says that the 80’s were tough on us all.

Rita made a booklet telling you to be true to your own style. Oprah asks how do you know what your own style is? Rita asks, what feels good on you? Oprah says pajamas. Rita says this means comfort. Rita has some style tips to share:

Style Tip: Be true to your own personal sense of style (if you don’t know what it is ask a girlfriend. Take descriptive words- artistis, sexy- and translate them to your clothes)

42 year old Cindy has recently lost 1oo lbs. But she dresses like she’s 62; her clothes range in size from 6 to 22W. Her style is frumpy and hiding things, she has no idea what her style is. She has twin boys who were born prematurely at 29 weeks- they were so needy she put herself on hold. Cindy comes to the studio, Rita says she’s teeny tiny. We see a glimpse of the hairstylist and make-up artist- Cindy is told she needs to loose weight on her hair. Cindy walks onstage through a Before Picture. She’s wearing a black top, printed pencil skirt and heels. The crowd applauds, Oprah says she couldn’t have recognised her. The crowd applauds her weightloss. She has a tiny waist, Rita says she can loose more weight by giving away her clothes. Pre-makeover, she felt 62, now she feels like a new woman, 28 maybe. Rita loves that. Oprah asks what she thought of her reflection in the mirror? It took a while for the look to grow on her, but it grew on her fast.

As Rita went into her 50’s she reconsidered wearing a little black dress, but what she has retired is jeans with a muffin top, super tight jeans, bum crack, cleavage, anything too tight, 4″ heels, anything too fashionable. She has grown into comfort- she has platform heels which are cheater’s heels; she can wear them to walk around, but not all day, and she won’t be jogging in them.

Stacy is a 35 year old mom of two. She says she dresses like an old lady. Her husband describes her as looking old, conservative and out of style. She wears her hair in a bun for convenience. She meets Rita at Macy’s for retail therapy. She brings her mom jeans, 80’s power suits and a retirement home workout suit. Here Stacy is now in a little black dress, jewelry and heels. Stacy’s husband is very happy, wow he says. Rita says she looks spectacular. She’s going back to work, has lost 30lbs and needs a new professional look. The little dress is not the professional look, but she could pair parts of the outfit with other items. Her husband says she’s hot, Stacey wipes away tears. She has now lost her 90’s suits, and her bun is let-down. Stacey thinks she looks amazing, she didn’t know this was there. Oprah asks if she knew it was there, and Stacy said said no. Collier Strong from L’oreal used only 3 products for her look- she’s stopped wearing makeup since staying home with kids. She should go out tonight with her husband.

If you are sitting at home in sweats with your hair in a bun or ponytail, there is hope. Sweats can look stylish, even if you are home and no-one can see you, you should look good. You can get stuck but you must always ask your friends if you need a haircut, a new color etc.

Style Tip: Follow the 1 year rule. If you are not wearing it, give it away.

Angela has a headful of grey hair and is being asked out by men old enough to be grandfathers. She turned grey at 18 and last year finally stopped dying her hair. She thought it would be liberating but instead she feels she’s dying inside. She is 45 years old but feels old. She has given up short skirts, dresses, boots; she feels old. She has alot of clothes but doesn’t know how to put them together. Joe and Jesse are style gurus. They come to your closet and are unforgiving. Without Jesse, you need a friend to help you be ruthless, to help you let go. Angela went to Oscar Blandi for a colour “tweak”. Angela comes out in a dress, heeled boots, blond hair. She already owned these clothes- some still had tags on. Jesse and Joe helped her put everything together. Now she looks like a “hot blond”. Nora Ephron says hair color is our greatest invention. Oprah says we should use it. Angela says she tried going grey and she won’t be going back.

Laura Brown from Harper’s Bazaar offers advice for dressing for every decade.

In your 30’s, shapeless clothes are your enemy. You should showcase your figure while you can. Form-fitting is good. Avoid being too trendy, only one trendy piece per outfit. Make a nod to the trends but don’t let them take over your life.
In your 40’s, take the part of your body you are most proud of and showcase it.

The Harper’s Bazaar Fabulous at Every Age book is out now. Whenever you figure out your style, that’s good. We’re not our parent’s generation anymore, we can wear our hair long if we like. Rita has been doing makeovers in her head for years. Doing makeovers in real life is great, it is like the little dolls with magnets.

There are 4 things Rita Wilson says everyone needs in her wardrobe, regardless of age:

Black legging or black jean legging
Black boot or black shoe boot
Jacket
Scarf

Models demonstrate how women of any age can pull this look off. In your 30’s there can be bling, sparkles. In your 40’s you should have a fitted blazer with details. The cotton scarf looks like a necklace. The tunic is longer but sexy black boots are still there. In your 50’s, a sweater- scarf is good for on and off wear. It’s a “twofer”, it does double duty. Black jean leggings are comfortable and flattering. Being in your 60’s doesn’t mean that you don’t have style- you can get sexy boots to walk in, a coat and scarf to go for lunch. All the models are comfortable and they all like what they are wearing.

Backstage, Jessie and Joe show Angela in another outfit pulled from her closet, this time with no polka dots or prints. All her own clothes except for the platform shoes and bangles. Its tough to get dressed when you work from home “Get cute for you!” they all say and Oprah says shop in your own closet.

52 year old frumpola coming up…

Laura Brown from Harper’s Bazaar offers more advice for dressing for every decade.

In your 50’s do not steal your daughters clothes. You can wear a great blouse and have classic outfits.
In your 60’s do not throw in the towel. Do not use clothes to cover yourself up. You shoud look beautiul and wear jewelry.
The biggest mistake people make is comfort.

Tamara felt fabulous at 40 but at 52 she feels frumpy. Her husband says most of her clothes are awful. Going through her closet, she says she’s stuck in a timewarp, she has clothes from high school. She lives in cargo pants, skorts, and has a sun hat that her husband hates. Her last hair cut was by her husband around 8 months ago. Oprah says “Thats a wower” Tamara comes out- artistic, sexy and feminine are her three descriptive words. Rita put her in stretch jeans, new glasses and she has new blonde, wavy California-girl hair. She didn’t like the tailored look. Her husband says she loks stunning, Tamara cries because it’s like bringing who she is forward, it was an incredible experience; hugs all round.

Rita’s secret weapon for hair colour- a little pen by Oscar to cover grey, which fills in your roots for a couple of weeks before you get your hair done.

All of Rita’s tips are in a handy booklet free for the audience or downloadable on Oprah.com

This 67 year old grandmother feels far from sexy. She is an incredible hard worker, she gives gives gives. Laurali puts in 18hours a day. Her daughter says she’s always in sweats, she never gets a chance to dress up. On a normal day, her hair is “yikesy”- if it was up to Laurali she would wear it in elastic bands.

Laurali comes in to the studio in black trousers, short hair, jacket and white blouse. Rita loved working with her. Laurali raised her kids, sent them through private schools, and runs her own business. She wanted to be professional and elegant. Rita dressed her in practical ballet slippers instead of tennis shoes. Everyone says she looks amazing, Laurali thanks everyone including the limousine drivers for the last two days. Daughter say she looks amazing. that the years have disappeared. She looks like the mom she grew up emulating.

Rita said she had the best time, Oprah’s team said Rita is the best celebrity they ever worked with, she is one of the girls.Oprah gives thanks to Macy’s and George’s Salon in Chicago. Rita had so much fun.

Style Tip: splurge once a year on new pajamas. Something that looks good on you and is modest.

Rita’s favourites are Cosabella’s; they are expensive but last a long time.Everyone in audience is getting a brand new pair of Cosabella pajama’s (cue wild applause), and everyone at home can get 25% off for the next 24 hours. Thanks to everyone, great job you guys.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

There is always stylistic hope for you, even if you are sitting at home in sweats with your hair in a bun.

You need to identify your style. Think of three words to describe your personality and translate those words to your clothes

Every woman needs a jacket, a scarf, black boots and black leggings

Dress sexily but age-appropriately; neither too old nor too young

Never, ever let your hair go grey

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Be cute for you! Find your own style! But follow the rules and never let your hair go grey.

Date: January 11th, 2010
File Under: Aha Moment, Family, Live your best life, Relationships, Transformation

Episode 2: A Family Stripped Down: Peter Walsh Moves In

He’s going to strip them down… it’s a bold experiment to take away everything that is tearing their lives apart- TV’s, Blackberries, take out menus, mess. In seven days this major transformation will change them into the family they want to be- this experiment could change the world for them and, by extension, everyone.

Seven days with no phone, computer, TV microwave. Expert Perter Walsh is coming in.

Steve and Rhonda have been married for five years,they have a five year old son Drake, and Rhonda’s fifteen year old son Blake from a previous marriage. By 5.30am Blake has sent 23 texts, Mom is at gym, Blake eats a Pop Tart alone. When Mom returns Drake has already watched an hour of TV. By 9am Ronda is alone in the house and is stressed by the mess which drives her crazy, she shuts the door on it. The laundry downstairs is a disaster. When Blake comes home from school he goes straight to the computer- by now he has sent 119 texts. The family sometimes communicate with him by text. Drake needs to be played with. At 6pm dad is home with takeout. They do use the TV, it is the only family time they get. Mom wants quality time. The kids grow up so fast and she doesn’t want them to only have memories of watching TV.

Watching that recap, Ronda is tired. The audience can relate. Blake texts 7000 -9000 texts per month saying stuff about school. But it does bother him that the family aren’t close. It would be better for Drake if they spent some time together. Sometimes the big brother watches the little brother and the couple go out. If they could re-edit the tape of a day in the life of their family, they’d get up together, maybe make breafast for the kids, be without the mess. And at night they would spend time together- nothing special, just together time. There’s only maybe twice a month that they sit down together. It’s so rushed- they eat then check Facebook, then go. Oprah says that’s exactly what is happening to our world.

As a family they are often in the same room but not communicating with each other. They don’t know where they lost their way, but they should be treating each other the best. Inside their idyllic home, the family are disconnected from each other. They need life organisational expert Peter Walsh. Peter says this family needs to be “stripped down”. Peter says this problem is too common, we believe more is better and our lives full of too much stuff are thus disconnected. Must strip down everything that comes between you and your best life.

This is a seven day challenge to get rid of everything which makes you feel disorganised or disconnected. The family need to give 110% to get everything back together. The family are “in”. The challenge begins right now.

5 rules for the family

1. No cell phones, no texting for the next seven days (“For a week” says Oprah)

2. No computers, email, TV, computer games or iPods. Their only entertainment is to be each other

3. Healthy meals prepared together. Sit together eat together

4. Their house is a mess. Clean it up.

5. A little bit of loving- every day they must hug each of the others and tell them that they love them

The rules are posted on a billboard outside their house. There will be no cheating because of “the vault”. All their stuff is inside the vault- anything which disconnects the family- microwave, energy drinks, iPods, computers. Peter has taken the liberty of removing every door from the closets. Now the family will go home and has until noon the next day to do Challenges 1 & 2.

1- think of an activity to enjoy together tomorrow.

2. Wash fold and put away all the laundry.

At noon tomorrow, Peter will knock on their door and move in with them. He has no idea where he will sleep. Peter says,”Mom, Dad, I’m looking forward to a very fun week”.

This all happened a week ago. Let’s tune in and see how they did. If this family can be transformed in a week, think what it can do for your family. At noon, Peter arrived and went to the now-spotless laundry room. He was impressed and gave them a new rule. From now on, if they go to the laundry room, they have to go upstairs with more than one thing. Drake has many toys but doesn’t get the attention he wants by being included in the family. Blake needs more patience. Now they are going to tackle the three car garage. Peter’s goal is to park all three cars in there by the end of the day. They sort through all their stuff to see if they need, use or want it- otherwise it goes. In 2 hours they have a truckload of donations and a clean garage. they survive Day 2 but no one has any idea that the next day will be full of breakdowns and breakthroughs.

Oprah asks why the garage stuff plays a role in the disconnection. Peter says if your home does not rise up to meet you, you are missing that element. If you fill your time with technology, it does not mean you are better connected. 1,000 emails or 100,000 texts do not mean that you are connected. At first Blake found it hard to give up texting, but after a while he was pleased to not have his phone. It wasn’t all that hard.

It’s usually/ always the third day that takes you out. Oprah likens this to the cycle of dieting. On the first day you are full of energy and resolve but on day three you get a burger and fries. The messy garage was a metaphor for their life. Oprah says it’s all a metaphor for your life- nasty car, messy bedroom. All the messy stuff in your life is your emotions. Peter says you must strip down the stuff, gadgets and mess which are disconnecting your family.

Day 3 (kids backstage) There is a deeper level of disconnection in this family. Dad doesn’t know if he’s doing a good enough job. He thinks he’s failing a little bit, not putting the time in. What is the future for him and the kids? Steve is terrified. All he does is work, when he comes home he feels his family is moving in all different directions. He feels a little bit unloved. He has a level of resentment that he is working so hard. There is a guilt that Rhonda feels for not working in corporate america. Is she frightened of another divorce? Is Rhonda worried that this is going to fail?

Back in the studio, Oprah wants to say that she’ll never forget a show from 6,7, or 10 years ago when she had a Aha Moment - a father said that every good father has a dream for his family. Peter helped Rhonda and Steve break down the walls of guilt, resentment and fear. How did Peter know to do this? So many people are disconnected, he’s seen it over and over. Everyone is so busy and if they are busy then they should be doing good things. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! What your kids want is you, to feel that they are a part of you. The kitchen nourishes the family. Without that nourishment around the table where do they get it? Drake rose to the challenge incredibly. In a week he is more patient and gving. By shifting the focus away from self-parenting, and removing the TV, the dynamic is changed. He had a few tantrums in the beginning, but now they are connected as a family. For kids, TV is a passive interaction but they are in control- to remove that is a shock. It is hard for them to learn that they don’t have control; they need parents to be in control.

How could you do this without the help of Peter Walsh? It’s all about communciation and taking the first step. You have got to get beyond the fear. Where will it go? Will you end up divorced? Tonight, everyone should sit down and have a conversation with their partner. Tell them you are nervous but that you love them and want to be with them, and if that changes you will let them know. This is the basis foundation, so that conversations don’t take us to the extreme place. One date night a month is worth a 100 weeks of vacation at the end of the year. Get together regularly- don’t leave it to catch up at the end of the year. This family tried it and it worked out pretty nicely. Oprah says she can see that and gesticulates at the couple’s intertwined hands.

The family have survived four days. With Peter, they have come up with new rules.

1. No cell phones, texting, or computer use from 6-9pm.

2. No TV before school or during meals

3. Sunday family breakfast, make a weekly meal plan, eat 3 dinners together a week

4. Weekly clean up and laundry sort on Saturday mornings

5. Stay with the I love you rules. Plus monthly date night and weekly family night

Within 48 hours the family have to take a road trip to Chicago. They have a kit with activities and a photo cut-out of Peter stuck on a stick. The road trip was awesome, they followed the new rules and had so much fun. Pancake Peter was with them all the way, in their photos.

The point of this was to spend time together and travel with the new rules. They had to negociate activities the whole family could do. They did three activities, one of which was going to a park. Blake feels awesome, he doesn’t need his phone as much. He is now mindful of Peter’s advice to ”Be where you are”; not texting. Rhonda lost 4lbs without her energy drink. Oprah invites Peter to live in her house.

Peter summarizes that if you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out. Thanks to everyone, Peter’s new book, “It’s All Too Much” has just been released on DVD.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

The state of your stuff is a metaphor for your life, be it nasty car or messy bedroom

Our lives need to be “stripped down” of all our stuff so that we can re-connect with each other

You should always “Be where you are”

A clean house is a happy house

Communication begins with a conversation

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

If you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out.

Date: January 8th, 2010
File Under: Betrayal, Relationships
3 comments

Episode 1: Ultimate Betrayal: How She Discovered Her Dead Husband’s Mistresses

It is with some trepidation that we are about to embark upon this years One Year Project. Originally we had planned to make transcripts of the Oprah Winfrey Show in its entirety, but when we discovered that you could buy transcripts at the Oprah website/ online store, we decided to reconsider. So, starting today, the idea is to blog along with the show- not to pause it or rewind it, but to attempt to catch the essence of the thing as we go along. Unfortunately, I am very much a two finger typist, so initial entries at least may be somewhat condensed. At the end of each show, we’ll do a rough spellcheck and hit upload and bam! Done for the day. Oh, we’ll put out a Twitter summary too, what’s that, 140 characters? Hopefully over the course of the year, typing skills will improve along with our knowledge of the ways of Oprah’s world. Also, we had hoped to do this live, at 4pm each weekday, but the two little children means that we’ll be blogging after their bedtime, courtesy of the DVR.

OK we’re up…

Imagine waking up and finding your life is a lie? What if you are being cheated on? Barbara’s husband Michael was a successful oral surgeon. They used to be so in love- he had a strong silent way, they were soulmates, like “Ken and Barbie” she was living the dream. He was a perfect guy, two kids, a happy suburban life. But, he was a dentist with DEMONS. He had a drug problem, he struggled with addiction and lost his medical license. One day he didn’t come home, Barbara went to look for him and found him being arrested.. with another woman in the car. Barbara didnt want to believe it; her entire idea of love and marriage was shattered. Michael then started a business selling body tissue- making $4 million in 4 years. But Barbara did not know Michael was stealing and selling skin bone and body parts without permission from grieving families. With his team, they dissected over 1000 bodies, some infected with HIV or Hepatitis and cancer. Corpses were stuffed with garbage to hide the missing parts. When Michael was arrested again, Barbara was devastated; she had stood by him. But now she knows her life was a lie, nothing is sacred. The truth makes the good times feel like a lie. Her memories are tainted but she wants to help other women avoid her pain. How could she have been helped? If friends know something, they should tell you. It’s very painful to know that others knew- your betrayal becomes multiplied.

Barabara counsels that you must hold on to your dignity despite your betrayal. Oprah says that checking up on someone means that the trust is already broken- the lies make you become someone you don’t want to be. The charges were placed, and Barbara became a stereotypical TV wife standing next to her husband. She didn’t know of the charges, but she knew of the affair. After the affair, Michael said this would not happen again, and Barbara believed him. When charged with body part crimes, Barbara was told by husband that he was being made a fall guy. And she believed him.

Barbara takes us to her old house, full of painful memories, full of false security, false happiness, 8000 square feet of easy secure life. She had to sell her home, pay legal fees, pay victims. Karen joins us by Skype from New Jersey; her father was chopped up by Michael. Karen cannot forgive, what happened can not be undone. Her father , family and memories have been stolen. Barabara cannot apologise for her husbands crimes. Barbara has been wronged but not in comparison with the victims families. Michael may have apologised for his actions in court, Barbara is not sure- but she knows he is only sorry when he’s caught; for everything. Karen discovered the crime because a detective called her, asking for her brother Vincent. She said she had no brother but her Dad had been living with her. He informed her that there was a ficititious brother with a forged death certificate. Her father was a Korean war vet who didn’t want an autopsy. He was supposed to be a direct cremation. The body was picked up, and Karen talked to the harvester and found out what was done. It was a nightmare.

Oprah says that sorry sounds so hollow, that this is a heinous nightmare. Karen pleads for legislation to stop this happening again, and then she’ll have closure.

Michael was guilty of body stealing, forgery, larceny and grand corruption. At this point Barbara knew he was guilty. She asked Michael why, and he said he did it for greed, for the money. Then Barbara knew she had to get away from him. Her sons are doing ok, going forward in their lives. She has told them they can see Daddy if they want to- so far they don’t want to see him or write to him. He’s been away 2 years and the eldest went to see him to ask why. Four simple words “I made a mistake”. Barbara was furious; Michael wouldn’t elaborate.

Oprah’s favorite lessons is from Maya Angelou; Believe people the first time when they tell you who they are. A liar lies, a cheater cheats. There are red flags. With Michael he bought trendy shoes and started to go out at night. But as a surgeon always on call it was hard to see the signs. If B confronted him, he would always deny it. Barbara should have followed her instinct.

Thank you Barbara, her story airs on Wednesday night. Coming up, more betrayal, other people.

If you ever suspect a secret life is being led, remember Julie. She was together for 16 years with the kind of guy who lights the room up. Looking back at photos, Julie remembers a wonderful wedding day. They had a daughter and he was an affectionate and loving father. One day she heard a thud and downstairs he’d fallen over. Julie thought he’d be ok but the EMS guys couldn’t fix him. He died and Julie fell to the floor screaming in shock. Suddenly without his big personality to fill the house, its seemed so big and empty.

About six months later, looking for his address book, her friends found emails from women he was having affairs with. Julie called them up. The second one, a mom like Julie was forthcoming, she even looked like Julie. The third woman was in Argentina . The fourth was from the gym. He had a way of charming the women. One of the affairs was the mother of Julie’s daughters friend- they had playdates and sleepovers, she was always in Julie’s house. In fact, the day Julie found out about the affairs, she had to pick up her daughter at this womans house. There were five affairs going on, some of which were overlapping. The daughters mothers friends relationship had been going on for two years.

What were the signs she didnt see? Julie had so much invested in her perfect life, in her pretty house in a small town, she didn’t want to look at the signs. I f she’d looked for signs, she would have heard the conversations about other women and using the kids as cover. Oprah says women often can’t help mentioning the names of the person they are in love with. The husband did tell Julie about the women he’d met, and how she would like them. Julie was afraid that talking about the women would unravel her life. She chronicles her life in her New York Times bestseller, Perfection. We all want Perfection- perfect lives, bodies, kids- and it causes shame that we are not perfect. Julie wanted to explore what else perfection could mean. Julie met her husband when she was young, and thought that he was the man to grow old with- that was how she saw her life. She didn t imagine she’d be a young widow and have to deal with all this. Oprah says we often don’t want to rock the boat and ruin the picture we have.

When Julie decided to look again for someone, she wanted to find someone who shares her values. She met a lovely man who is more like her and they want the same things. It makes her cry because she is so happy and lucky to find happiness, lovely. Millions of women are watching right now, what would Julie say to them? Julie found out that she’s much tougher than she guessed, she could look after herself and her daughter and trust again. She has a satisfying life. Her book is called Perfection.

The next guest, Karen, had a very opulent lifestyle- $100,000 a month was easily spent on credit cards. She had a Wall Street husband . She didn’t ask questions. They had the ultimate dream, with three condos overlooking Central Park, 2 kids, and lovely cars. If they couldn’t find it in NY they went to Milan. She was seduced by the lifestyle but had a rocky marriage. There were obviously other women, there were long absences, signs. She overlooked the affairs to keep her lifestyle. At 36, pregnant with her third, her husband came home and told her he was going to prison. He had been conning investors for millions of dollars. Karen found him tying a noose- he’d been indicted by the FBI, and was due to go to prison next day. The hanging was a pretend attempt to solicit her sympathy. She gave him a cold shower and drove him to prison. He was patted down, climbed into a vehicle and Karen watched the back of his head get smaller. In her car, crying, the guard asked her to move the car. That was a wake up call- there would be no sympathy for her in her gold BMW. The nightmare began, the properties were to be taken. Does she play a role in this, having been seduced by intoxicating seductive money? She did not play a part in the crime, but in retrospect she had some culpability by wanting and expecting this lifestyle, by giving up her independence. The other guests had different situations but similar.

Even if you have the loveliest of surroundings, do not surrender your sense of self and independence. Working validates you and not working makes you be not validated. Don’t give up on you, whatever you do. Karen allowed her husband back to the family home when he got out of prison. When he went to prison she was so angry, with lots of screaming, and eventually she had to let the anger go. Eventually, over time, she looked at her marriage more sympathetically as she considered how to support her kids. She started to read his apologetic letters, she felt sorry for him and she let him sleep on the coach in the famiy home. It was a facade; he wasn’t sorry and his family was not his first responsibility. Karen needs the Maya Angelou thing. There’s never just one secret. One betrayal means there’s almost always others. When in prison, it is very easy to write some letters and say sorry and you saw Jesus and everything. Karen knows this now but she wanted to believe it. It was hardest for her to let go of the idea of her marriage, she didn’t want to let go of her dream of fairytale love and romance. Oprah attests to the difficulty of letting go of the hope and dream of what you always wanted. When Karen let the dream go, she had clarity. The fog of affluence and the fog of sleep-deprivation lifted. She had lost herself in the marriage. Rich friends leave you like that. They’re tight and dont want to see what happened to Karen as it might be happening to them.

Thanks everyone.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Hold onto your dignity, despite your betrayal

Believe people the first time they tell you who they are; a liar lies, a cheater cheats

If you see red flags, follow your instincts

Even if you have the loveliest of surroundings, don’t surrender your sense of self and your independence

Don’t expect sympathy if you are sitting in a gold BMW

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

A liar lies, a cheater cheats, watch out for red flags and trendy shoes. Don’t give up on you whatever you do.