Every time a new episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show airs in 2010, we will blog along with it. If you have plenty of time, read the long version. If you are pressed for time, read the “What we learned today” summary. If you are really, really pressed for time, read the Twitter-sized summary.

Archive for February, 2010

Date: February 12th, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment

Episode 26: Happy Valentine’s Day- Oprah Fridays LIVE

It’s Friday and here live in Chicago, if you’re snowed in and watching with the whole family, let’s start with the Superbowl. The Saints won and  Superbowl NVP Drew Brees is here. What a beautiful family, they’re all here, Oprah just saw the baby in the back, who dat cute. Over 106 million people watched the Superbowl, more than any other TV show in history.Did you see the ads? [They play the Oprah sitting between David Letterman and Jay Leno advert]. Gail emailed her after the ad aired saying people think they are superimposed there. Oprah shows picures to show they were all there together, it was a super top secret thing with only a handful of people in the know. They filmed at Dave’s studio in New York, just as Oprah was going in, incognito with a hood on, a woman said Hey Oprah. Jay came in in disguise. Jay and David hadn’t talked for 18 years- everything went away that had happened between them for the last 18 years.

Tonight the Olympics kick off in Vancouver. Matt Lauer will be covering the games for NBC, he joins us via satellite. Oprah says she just saw him with Michael Bublé- he was just inside the chalet, he’s from Barnaby, Vancouver so he just did a couple of songs. Matt apologises if he cries during the set, the bonfire seemed like a good idea but the smoke keeps blowing into his eyes. Matt ran with the torch yesterday, aso did Bublé. Matt said it was maybe the coolest part of his life- you get to wear the cool outfit but you get the pep talk before that says the torch is the greatest symbol of peace in the whole world. He doesn’t care how cool you think you are, when the person carries the flame to you, you turn to jelly. It seemed like an eternity even though it was only 300m, Matt just loved it. Oprah asks if you worry that your hair might catch on fire when the wind blows, Matt shows his lack of hair and says are you kidding me? What’s supposed to catch on fire there? Oprah hears the schedule is hefty- Matt broadcasts live to the East Coast so they fim at 4am Vancouver time. Today is a particularly long day as they just did the show then tonight he’s covering the opening ceremony with Bob Costas. The pageantry and spectacle of the opening ceremony will not be disappointing. He saw it a couple of nights ago and it will end with a big surprise. 7.30 eastern time there’s a warmup then the opening ceremony. For the first time ever this is filmed indoors and the parade of athletes will be at the beginning not the end. Oprah says she watches him and the mornings and last week wore red at his urging. Matt says he wants to be invited to the worst superbowl party ever next year (referencing the advert). Thanks Matt, we’ll be watching the opening ceremonies tonight.

Drew Brees comes to the studio and the crowd go wild. Wow wow wow says Oprah. Its wonderful to see each other. Drew says the moment of winning was surreal and he still has to pinch himself. Oprah just felt that the Saints were going to do it. After all that New Orleans has been through, all the pain and suffering and psychic and spiritual energy, she felt that the Saints would do it. Drew says he never had a doubt, he felt the energy of the country was with them, everyone related to what the team means to the city and what a win would do for them. 106 million people watched Drew step up in the moment that he needed to. Drew says the emotion throughout the game had to reeled in. For the first half or quarter you just have to find a way to calm down, then you tell yourself it’s just aother game and only when it’s over do you allow yourself to reflect. Oprah says she’s heard him say before that its not about the winning but about the journey. For him, he was trying to reflect upon that when he stood on the stand with his son getting the trophy- he tried to stay in the moment. The crowd awws as they show a photo of him holding his son up in the air on the Superbowl night. Drew says it’s special and he’ll remember it for the rest of his life. His son is only 13 months old and he wont remember this. He told his son what an inspiration he is to Drew, and he said he loved him and we did it. little boy. Oprah says that Drew does have the cutest boy in the world. A few years ago when he injured his shoulder and it almost ended his career, Drew has said that it was the best thing to happen to him. Drew says that everyone in their position has been told they can’t do it for whatever reason and sure that’s a motivation. For him, he plays for the people who do believe in him, that’s who he thinks of before every game. His eyes well up when he listens to the national anthem, and thinks of the implications of what he’s doing. Oprah says she has great respect for Peyton Manning, Drew says that they normally meet after the game on the 50 yard line, but that didnt happen this time. But Manning sent him a text afterwards and is a very classy football player. Oprah hopes he didn’t text from the car- it was from the tour bus. Drew also did a commercial where he sang in the shower for Dove for Men. Here are a few extra scenes. The crowd applaud. Dove has a whole new line of products and Oprah says that this is a great way to introduce them. For Drew singing in the shower in front of the cameras was a little out of his comfort zone, it was tense at first then he decided to just have fun. Drew is comfortable in his own skin and enjoyed the experience.

They show the footage of Drew, his son Bailey and his wife Brittany at the Superbowl. Brittany says she felt so stressed out she thought she’d throw up. And Bailey is just like his Dad, so active- so he wants to walk, eat, play, watch the game. Her mom helps during the game, but Bailey helps her calm down and puts things into perspective. She says Drew is great at handling pressure, he can compartmentalise and really focus; then he does his best. They all got to bed about 3.30am, he said to Brittany, did that really happen? It was the culmination of 4 years of hard work.  She said she didn’t know- it looks like a great commercial with all the confetti. The city is unbelieveable right now, there was 40,00 people at the airport and the parade brought out 800,000 in a city of only 400,000. It seems like people from all around the world are identifying with the city and that is just great. The couple are college sweethearts,- she married the quarterback and then he won the Superbowl. Brittany says that it’s been amazing and there have been the ups and downs of his career. She remembers seeing him in the hospital room after his surgery, not knowing if he would ever play again, but God gives you the strength and they prayed about it – and if anyone is going to do it, it would be Drew. She’s so proud of him, all those hours of rehab and the not knowing where they were going to live, she’s just so proud of him. Oprah asks what happens now? Drew says on Valentine’s Day they’ll be in the Bachus Parade for Mardi Gras, their anniversary was the day after the Superbowl, their 7 year anniversary, so they’ll spend some time with family and  take two weeks to have a Valentine’s Day, anniversary celebration. A Saints superfan in Chicago, Chris Rodgers is in the studio, they show footage of his house filled with Saints gear. He cried like a baby when they won. Chris’ lifelong dream is to catch a football from Drew Brees- Drew throws the football and Chris catches it.

1985’s recording of We Are The World plays the show back in from the commercial break. It has been 25 years since Lionel Ritchie wrote We Are The World with Michael Jackson and Oprah’s dear friend Quincy Jones produced it. Two weeks ago they  got together with 80 artists to re-record  the song with all proceeds to go to help the Haiti earthquake. There’s only one Lionel Ritchie and he’s here. Oprah is so excited that he’s going to sing. The crowd clap and scream. He doesn’t know if he can sing this early in the morning. The new video will debut tonight at the opening ceremony at the winter olympics. Nicole was 5 years old when they recorded the original, and now she’s there with her son and Joel. They play an exclusive extract of the new recording- there are artists in 3 different rooms. Pink, Celine Dion, Barbara Streisand, Mary J Blige… all the stars wanted to be apart of it. Last time, Quincy put up a sign that said check your egos at the door. This time, Lionel says the egos lasted about 20 minutes. then all of a sudden when seeing the images from Haiti, the egos stop. They knew what they were there to do. Oprah asks how they assign parts to sing-Lionel says life is wonderful while you’re busy making plans. It happens. They had a list of who would sing what line, and they realised that the new people are nervous. They had 3 seperate rooms, with different cameras and Panavision. They thought it would be a secret, and the stars were Tweeting during the first verse. He’d never seen so much excitement- Tony Bennett and Snoop Dog talking to each other, Little Wayne and Barbara Streisand talking to each other. Oprah has heard the story from Quincy so many times about how they wrote the lyrics to the song and needed the last verse. Lionel tells the story of lying on the floor in Michael Jackson’s room when he spotted a python behind some records. Lionel ran away from the albino python that Michael had mislaid in his room. They wanted Michael in the recording, so he sings his part from the original, and his sister Janet sings along with him. Lionel says everyone stepped up to the plate and it’s beautiful. Oprah asks if women always want him to sing to them when he dates; he says no. Oprah says as it’s Valentine’s Day in two days, who better to have than Lionel Ritchie, Mr Love Song himself. He has hand-picked some of his favorites. He sings and wishes the crowd a Happy Valentine’s Day. Oprah runs on stage to hug him and says that was beautiful.

Someone you all know recently admitted that he texts and talks in the car. Today he takes the commitment, he takes Oprah’s pledge. He says it will be hard for him, it’s like kicking an addiction. He’s in the car and the phone rings and he lets it go. Can you imagine how dumb you’d feel if you picked up a call and got in an accident? At work he calls a mandatory company meeting to say that company policy now means that no one can text or do company business in the car. Nate Berkus and his amazing staff, take the pledge. Oprah says we used to drive and think about things in the cars and have some time to ourselves.

Oprah has a car to help Haiti, over 300 celebrities have signed it already- George Clooney, Mariah Carey, Julia Roberts and so many others through Stars for a Cause. This Chrysler 300 will be auctioned next week, with all proceeds going to the Red Cross for Haiti relief. Oprah agreed to sign the car on the basis that she would put her No-Phone Zone bumper sticker on the car. She attaches the sticker, signs the car and thanks Chrysler. They have modified the pledge- you can agree to stop texting, agree to only hands free calling or give it all up. Have a great Valentine’s Day and go to Oprah.com to download Lionel Ritchie singing Hello to you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Oprah, Letterman and Leno were all in the same room to film their Superbowl advert, it was not a special effect.

Carrying the Olympic torch would turn anyone to jelly.

Drew Brees is comfortable in his own skin.

There’s only one Lionel Ritchie.

The no phone zone pledge as been modified to allow people to semi-pledge.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The Superbowl was awesome, the Olympics will be too. Lionel Ritchie wishes everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day.

Date: February 11th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Transformation

Episode 25: The High School Quarterback Who Became A Lesbian

Kimberley Reed was once Paul McKerrow, a high-school quarterback in Montana. He was the starring quarterback, valedictorian, and voted best looking and most likely to succeed. He was the golden boy every guy wanted to be and every girl dreamed of, now he is a woman. She looks like this picture and she’s a lesbian.

Growing up in 70’s Montana,  Paul’s father Lauren was a doctor and mother Carol was a schoolteacher. They adopted Kimberley’s brother, Mark, and probably conceived Paul the day they picked Mark up. A year later, along came another surprise, Tom. It looked like a dream childhood, but appearances can be deceptive. Paul did the things in high school that you were supposed to do, he thought it would make the other crazy idea go away. He began to question his gender identity around first grade. As he grew up, Paul was attracted to girls, but he didn’t feel like a typical high school boy. He dated women, pretty innocently, alot of the times he wanted to be one of the girls. After college he moved to San Francisco, where he first started dressing as a woman. He would segregate restaurants, going to some only as a male and some only as a female. It was crazy to live like that. You can only live a double life for so long. Over the next few years he took it further, and started taking hormones which helped his body feel right, then in his late 20’s he undertook gender reassignment surgery. Paul became Kimberley. Sexual reassembly surgery fashions a vagina from your genitalia, and she had some help with her breasts. She checked into her apartment as a male and left as a female with a new name, drivers license, social security number and passport.

Oprah says that if we dont relate to Kimberley’s story, most of us can admit we have something which holds us back from being all we can be, whether it is weight or a bad relationship. As you hear this story, think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth. Kimberley joins Oprah onstage. Oprah says she is always fascinated by these stories because it’s so hard to imagine not being in the right body. Oprah says she can relate to most issues, but not this one. Kimberley says she found the right body by a process of elimination, she was magnetically drawn to it. She tried to avoid it, to not be weird, to fit in. She started to feel different in about kindergarten or first grade, she wanted to be with the girls but she had to repress it. During her teenage years she wondered if she may be gay, later she tried all the options. In high school she felt that the thing going on which made her different had to be shut down, so she went all out to be a football player, to do all the things that you should do. Becoming a football star was part of the rules. She is glad that she grew up as a boy, but it makes her sad because boys can be strong and independent whereas girls often withdraw and doubt themselves at around age 11 or 12. Oprah interrupts to say that Kimberley can sing that Beyonce song “If I Were A Boy” and mean it. Kimberley doesn’t remember a time when she didn’t have the urge to be female, but she took specific steps towards it around  5h or 6th grade. She had a paper route and she got up very early in the morning and dressed as a girl to deliver the papers.

When Kimberley traveled back to Helena, Montana for her 20th high school reunion, she didn’t know what to expect. Last time her classmates saw her, she was Paul. She says the first part of her life she lived trying to deny that she was a girl, the second part of her life she tried to deny that she was ever a boy, and now she is trying to reconcile the two parts of her life. She is pleased she got the sense of entitlement, license and freedom of boyhood, and wishes girls got that. Oprah says we see that parents treat their kids differently even if they say they don’t treat their male and female children differently. At High School Paul went to the prom and felt awkward, she felt she was trying to play a part but it felt off, like she was putting on an act. She went to college in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is a very conducive place to experiment. She tried to date men as a man, but that didnt feel right, but she did start to know she was attracted to being a female. She lived as a male student in Berkeley, but would drive across the bridge to San Francisco to be a woman. She was an exchange student in Norway, she deliberately went where the other students wouldnt be. She took the train as  far north as she could go and camped  on a fast, awaiting a revelation. She realised she’d been trying to avoid this in so many ways, but the revelation was always there. Oprah says its like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there. Kimberley was waiting for the big revelation, and it was there. That was a big turning point. The movie she has made, Prodigal Sons is interesting, according to Oprah, because it focuses as much on the family dynamic as Kimberley’s gender. Kimberley told her mom, probably later than she should have done. Oprah says she feels parents know but don’t want to see it, especially seeing the feminine side in their sons. Carol in the audience says she saw nothing, not a hint. Kimberley says she hid it well because she was hiding it from herself. Carol doesn’t see hints even looking back with hindsight.

Kimberley travels back to her hometown for her 20 year high school reunion. Oprah says everyone who is worried about going to their highschool reunion, should imagine this. The video footage plays. Kimberely decided to go back for the reunion, this would be the first time that most of her hometown will see her, although they heard a few years ago of her gender change. The party is at the co-captain of the football team’s house, Kimberley, as Paul, was the other captain. She goes to the party and greets her old friends and former dates. One of the women says that all the girls had crushes on her back in high school. There was no adverse reaction at first, but one women says she still doesn’t get the difference between gay, homosexual, lesbian and transgender. Kimberley and her girlfriend patiently explain. Oprah in the studio says, I’m like her, I’m all durr. Joining us on Skype is Paul’s former team mate and best friend, Tim. Tim says that as a friend it’s been a little bit weird, he was protective so didn’t want to say words like weird. It’s surprising that his mother didnt know. When Kim’s dad died, Kim came back, and Tim’s mom told him that Paul is Kim. When his mother told him that Paul is Kim, Tim said what and she repeated herself and they had that exchange about five times. Oprah laughs hysterically. There was another woman named Kim that he’d just seen at Carol’s house who was pregnant and he thought wow Paul really went all the way. Oprah laughs hysterically. Paul was great at everything, she was good at every sport she tried which was one of the sources of sibling rivalry in their household. Tim says they were close friends throughout school and they stayed in touch. The first time they tried to go out for a drink, Kim was too chicken, so Tim went to meet her and Claire. It was a bit surreal to go back to her old house. The next night meeting the whole team, 8 overweight bald players, she was shy. Look at her, sure she’s attractive. He didn’t know if she was gay or straight. Kimberley was incredibly nervous, her former team mates showed up with cases of beer. She looked around at one of them swigging cheap beer with an arm around her girlfriend Claire, and she thought this would be ok. She feared that her past would be erased. She doesn’t look the same and alot is different, but many of her friends feel that she is the same person. Tim is happy and proud of her- Paul was a little awkward and shy, but Kim is very confident. Oprah says it is because she is her authentic self now.

Much of the footage today is from Prodigal Sons, her documentary. She thought that throwing the perfect spiral would cure her. She had her first kiss on the bleachers. She had so many problems figuring out her gender. She’d play games with herself where the penalty would be that she’d have to be a girl for the night. So then she’d run slowly so she would have to be a girl. She had shut alot of this out but she needs to bring it back somehow, it’s half her life. Oprah says so many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable. That could have been Kimberley’s life. She says the number one thing she hears is that transgender people wish that they had done it sooner.

The documentary captures the intense sibling rivalry which has taken a toll. Mark, her older brother was adopted, so he felt a bit of an outsider, He was held back in school so they were always in the same grade. Mark spent his childhood living in the shadow of his highly accomplished younger brother. At 21 he crashed his car and had suffered a traumatic brain injury. He had repeated surgeries, his mood swings got worse, his short-term memory began to fade and he began clinging to the past more and more. Footage shows him ranting and raving about how popular he was in school. Kimberley says she felt like Mark would have given anything to be the man that she would have given anything not to be- they were both haunted by the same ghost. In the studio, Carol says the confrontation ended with a 911 call, it was Christmas Eve and it was not a Christmas Eve to remember. Mark was taken to jail. Oprah asks if prior to the car crash, all the anger and jealousy existed and it got exascerbated by the event. Kim felt the sibling rivalry acutely, Carol was aware or that, it was always present. Carol thought the adoption was part of it, but Mark had his own strengths, but he didnt go in those directions because he single-mindedly wanted to be Paul. Oprah is aware that there are no doubt millions of people feeling like Mark did about this- she asks Carol, do you believe in the bible and how do you reconcile your religious beliefs with your son or daughter? Carols says for her that was never a question- she believed in her child and believed that this child was thoughtful and intelligent and gave so much thought to what was happening. She knew that this decision was painfully arrived at.

When Kimberley began her transition to a woman, she kept it a secret from the whole family. She told her mother but she couldn’t tell her dad. Having been the perfect son, she didn’t want to take the element of vicarious living from her dad. Carol waited one year to tell her husband that their son was now a woman. Carol says that her husband was ill and his health was a real issue, and she wanted to time the news right. There never was a right time but she decided she must tell him. She made appointments for herself to visit a therapist and, on the third visit, her husband came along and she told him. It was really hard. Kimberley says she feels bad that she couldn’t do it herself, what a thing to put on someone else- Carol was juggling the whole extended family. Kimberley wishes that she hadn’t put her mom through so much. She feels its important to talk about this on the program and on the documentary. She hopes that people can come out earlier and earlier in the newer generation. Oprah says with regards to coming out, many people, maybe not transgender but maybe are coming out as gay. Oprah says she got goosebumps earlier when Carol said she believed in her child. Oprah says that’s beautiful, Kimberley and Carol hug.

Kimberley has been dating Claire for ten years. Claire says she feels we are all a little in drag and projecting, and for women that’s feminine. What was striking and attractive to Claire about Kimberley was how comfortable she was with herself, and that to her is feminine, female. Oprah says it’s all about finding what is authentic to yourself. Oprah clarifies that Claire is a lesbian.She then asks if as a lesbian you try and strike a balance between feminine and non-feminine. Claire says she had some gender issues herself , she liked alot of boy things, she may have ovecompensated  so she wasn’t viewed as a lesbian. Oprah asks if she finds that when you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes. All the things you were afraid of, the people you thought would reject you and wouldn’t love you anymore still did and the people who were upset and jealous of you still are. It takes alot of courage to stand up for who you are. Oprah would like to encourage us to watch the movie and to inspire you to dig in and figure out what is holding you back and become the best you can be. Thanks everybody, and take the no-phone pledge. Bye everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth.

Like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz says; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there.

Many transgender people wish that they acted on their gender-change earlier.

So many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable.

When you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The person that everybody wants to be  may not want to be that person; be true to yourself.

Date: February 10th, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment

Episode 24: Celine Dion’s Showstopping Surprise

Nobody does it like Celine Dion. She is the number one selling artists of the last decade and has been a good friend of the Oprah show for the last few years. They hug. The crowd are hysterical. Celine Dion has a new movie coming out that the audience just saw, Oprah says it’s fantastic, its called Celine Through the Eyes of the World. and opens on February 17th for two weeks only. Oprah wants to go on a world tour, she asks if Celine ever forgets where she is when she goes on stage and says Hello South Africa, Hello Prague Hello France- does she get told just before she goes out. Celine hopes she doesn’t forget. Going to South Africa was an amazing experience for her, for her son and mother, to meet Nelson Mandela. It was a very emotional moment , it was beyond being an artist. At first the camera crew was there for the family, for them to bring back souvenirs and memories, but she said they quickly forgot about the cameras and the truth came out. Her mom was on tour with them for the first time, and her son was there too. Her husband, René said that the footage was too good to keep it to themselves. It was an extraordinary opportunity and now it gives the fans a VIP ticket to see them in the car, the hotel room. It is like travelling with them.

They show a clip of Celine’s tribute to Michael Jackson at the Grammys. She says it was awkward and an emotional feeling for all of them. She was and is a big fan of Michael Jackson. As a teenager she had posters of Michael Jackson on her wall, as did Oprah. She thought that as a French speaking person, she should learn English just in case she might get to perform with him one day, plus she thought if she could be in showbusiness, she could sing with him. She went to school to learn English, she met with him, she performed with him, he came to her show in Vegas, so the Grammys for her was a very difficult emotion. She as honored to be asked, but she was mad that Michael Jackson was not there with them. All of them didnt really want to perform but wanted to carry his message. Even showbiz people sometimes take what the media says as the truth, so she thought Michael was sick. When she saw his movie, she was mad because he was in really good shape. She felt the loss so deeply. After the Grammys, she got together with 80 artists to record a new version of We Are The World, led by Oprah’s friend Quincy Jones. Celine says life does things to us, bad things like earthquakes, and no one deserves that, and it is the responsibility of all of us, of all the artists who can use their voice or TV to raise money they  should. They can get together to say lets get together. It was magical, it was enjoyable, its time to lift them up and not forget, not put our heads down.

Oprah says its wonderful that Celine’s family gets to travel together, and that its hard to believe her son René-Charles is 9. Oprah says she remembers when he was born, just like Celine does. Celine says time flies, he was homeschooling then tour schooling. But now he has his own school, life and teacher, he’s so proud to wear his uniform. They have a female labrador puppy, Charlie. Celine repeatedly says you change your voice with a puppy, and does an impression, Oprah says she does it all the time with her two new puppies.

For one year cameras followed Celine’s every move across five continents, 25 countries, and 93 cities. She sold out one of the largest stadiums in the world in a day. Three million fans came from all over the globe to hear her voice. The concert movie experience is unforgettable with intimate family moments and signature spectacular performances. René is amazing because he walks in the house with treats in two pockets, the puppy is only 5 months old. René regrets the fact that he didn’t have a puppy as a child. Oprah was sorry to hear Celine had a miscarriage. Celine says it’s life, people go through this. They are on the fifth try for a child, she says this one has to come in if five is her lucky number. The crowd cheer. Oprah asks if these moments make her marriage stronger. Celine doesn’t think a child or a pregnancy should make a marriage stronger, it shouldn’t be the job of the child to repair a mariage. People always say things to comfort her, to make her stronger. She will be the one to tell if she’s pregnant and if not she is a lucky artist, wife and mother, and she’s glad.

Oprah asks if there was a conscious decision on tour to enjoy their time abroad. Celine says they decided to make it not only an artist tour but to make it a family adventure to see the beauty of the world. Gail and Oprah went to see her in France. Oprah didn’t want to because the singing would be in French. She says it was fun. Celine did the big tour and then she has been off for a year. Oprah asks what a typical day is like. Celine has never been so busy in her life to go to school at 6.30am with her son. They get involved at school, sometimes she’s pizza mom, but she loves it. She gets to know the environment of her child, she wants to be R.C.’s mom, not R.C.”s mom Celine Dion. She wants to engage, she says we call it a normal life for most people but for Celine it is extraordinary. This is the place she feels so rewarded, to make a difference in her sons life. The schoolwork she can’t even help with but she tries to pretend that she can.

During Celine’s world tour, René-Charles had a private tutor, with mommy time in between shows. After he looses his precious stuffed lamb, Celine screamed and cries when it was found. She says it was such a big thing, when her son started homeschooling he had this lamb with him all the time, and they left it in  a hotel room. R.C. wasnt sleeping well, they tried to get another one online but a new one isn’t crooked and doesn’t smell right. She called the hotel room for 4 or 5 days and she wanted it more than her son wanted it. It was a big thing, she doesnt know if all mothesrs are like this, she gets attached to a 2c thing or $200 thing. New stuff doesnt mean so much but things with memories she is atached to. She has shoeboxes full of leaves, rocks and flowers that her son collected. She keeps everything. When Celine’s dad passed away alot of flowers were sent; nuns in Quebec can dry your flowers and make them into rosary beads. Her whole family received beads from the flowers given to her dad. She doesn’t know what she’ll do wth it but she’ll make something and give it back to her son.This is the longest she’s been away from him, five days is the longest. She wants him with her every day but she respects his life. A video message from her son plays, saying they love her and miss her. Celine and Oprah grab hands.

Celine’s music resonates with people all over the world. Oprah says that music really is the language of the world. Lyndsey from Liverpool England grew up in 16 different foster homes, and Celine Dion’s music taught her to to be loved and love back. Lyndsey waited for Celine outside her hotel room but couldn’t speak, she was too emotional. On Skype, she thanks Celine for making her a better person than she was, she loves her so much and she will always be thankful to Celine for being such an inspiration as a mum, a wife, a daughter and a sibling; she’s a better person because of what Celine does. Alice is a Palestinian student in Jerusalem, she says the music is very popular in the Arab world, even though they’re stereotyped as being a closed society. They like dramatic Western music, and Celine can be heard at many weddings- the first dance for the bride and groom is often a Celine song. Her favorite song is My Heart Will Go On, but she’ll probably use either Power of Love or Because You Love Me for her first song.

All over the world, in the film,  Oprah says the women with the scarves in Arab countries mouth along with the words just like Western women. Celine says that people may not realise how powerful music can be, it breaks barriers and has no religion. Celine is there to serve the music the best she can, she’s not there to create anything. God has given her something to work with, a voice, and she serves the music with the message. She serves the music as best she can. Celine is about to sing a song that represents how she feels about her family, friends and fans, and it’s a song for Oprah. As she sings, family photos are displayed on a screen behind her.

They have been called Canada’s national treasure, the Canadian Tenors are shooting up the charts. They are huge Celine fans. They think they are here for a program on hot new talent, but they’re not. Celine is back stage waiting in the wings about to sing along. In the fake show, Oprah introduces the Canadian Tenors who say they’ve had a great year and will be singing at the Olympics. They sing Hallelujah. Behind them comes Celine Dion, they are shocked yet continue to sing and they all harmonize with Celine Dion.

Oprah goes on stage, and asks them how it was for them , they say they were in shock, they thank Celine for being an inspiration and thank her for the opportunity. One member says that Celine Dion and Oprah have the same quality as Maria Callas to touch people’s heart. Another says that the Oprah factor was enough, and then adding Celine nearly stopped his heart. Celine is going back to Vegas, starting March 2011, with a big band, she will perform her own songs and a tribute to old time Hollywood. The Canadian Tenor’s have a new album in stores now and Celine’s movie will be in the theatres for two weeks only, thanks everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Dried flowers can be turned into rosary beads by nuns in Quebec.

Celine Dion is there to serve the music with the message, with her voice given by God.

Celine Dion’s husband is called René and her son is called René-Charles.

Taking your child to school is a normal life for most people but for Celine it is extraordinary.

Some people learn to love and be loved through the music of Celine Dion.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Women in Arab countries are just like Western women, they sing along with Celine Dion songs too.

Date: February 9th, 2010
File Under: Public Service Announcement, Transformation

Episode 23: Lisa Ling Goes Inside the Secret World of a Modern Geisha and a Real-Life Nunnery

This is something that Oprah has never done; today we’re going to meet a real-life geisha. You probably think of the book, Memoirs of a Geisha- of a secret society of Asian women in white make up fulfilling mens fantasies. That book was fiction, this story is real. Fiona Graham was born in Australia, she has a PhD from Oxford and insists on being called by her geisha name, Sayuki. She’s the only white woman to become a full-fledged geisha in Japan.

They sent Lisa Ling, who will go anywhere, to Tokyo, to get the story. Sayuki tells Lisa all about her life as a gesiha. There used to be 42 districts, now there are 6. Her journey began when filming a documentary about geisha’s; the only way to capture the true essense of a geisha was to become one. She has a PhD in anthropology from Oxford and doesn’t feel that she has wasted her education by becoming a geisha.

For centuries geishas were highly paid companions to elite wealthy men. They had years of intense training, some starting in childhood. They perform elaborate duties with graceful precision; playing music, dancing, serving tea and charming conversation. Sayuki has never been asked to do anything she doesnt want to do as a geisha, she says that the idea that geisha’s are prostitutes for the right price is ridiculous. Today geishas still perform, mostly for businessmen and tourists. The rigorous training has been likened to becoming a doctor; Sayuki says that a geisha is an artist. Everyone knows to become a ballet dancer takes years of intense training, and becoming a geisha is the same. No other white woman has ever been a geisha, so Fiona trained for an intense year. In the beginning,  you do everything that your geisha-mother tells you as you have no judgement. She thinks it takes years to get good judgement. They go to the Geisha District Office, and on the board are  the names of the Geishas and the tea houses to show who is going where tonight. It is determined by the tea house owners, the customers or now the modern Geisha can be contacted through their website. The charge is around $350 for a minimum engagement. Much of Sayuki’s income is spent on expensive handwoven kimonos. $13,500 was the price on one of the kimonos that they look at.

Back in the studio, Lisa Ling joins Oprah. Sayuki is on the phone from her home in Tokyo. Oprah asks her how she was accepted as the first white woman. Sayuki grew up in Japan, she attended high school and university in Japan, and she worked there for a japanese company. She needed that background to get in. Oprah says she is among one of the ignorant people in the world that thought that there could be arrangement, if the price is right, that sex could be an option. Sayuki says that the Geisha is like a Hollywood actress, Geisha are women like any other, they fall in love and maybe have affairs, but it is never part of the job. No one accuses acttresses of being prostitutes just because they sometimes have affairs every now and again. Oprah says the role is to entertain and delight men. Sayuki says it means artist, and it is a private entertainment, much like Mozart would be called to entertain nobility. They perform to customers, not just men. Oprah asks why they are so alluring to the Japanese and the world. Sayuki says it’s the Japanese ideal of the perfect woman. The make up and kimono have been perfected over 400 years. It is breathtakingly beautiful to see a geisha in her full regalia for the first time. Oprah says so you dance and pour tea, is that it? Sayuki says there is also alcohol, not just tea. Some geisha would be upset if it was just tea.

Geisha means a person of the arts. For nearly 400 years it ws a highly coveted life for Japanese women They entertained the richest and most powerful men in Japan, some were even paid to meet a mans sexual desires. Elaborate hairstyles, exquisit kimonos and white make up with red lips; they were the embodiment of the perfect Japanese woman. They were renowned for their grace, intelligence, musical ability and beautiful dancing. They adhered to a strict code- no marriage, no eating in public and no revealing of your true age. 100 years ago there were 80,000 Geisha in Japan, today about 2000 remain.

It took Sayuki 3 years of strict training to master the Japanese artform. Oprah asks if it is painful to kneel- Sayuki says in the beginning it was hard. Oprah asks if there a way to pour tea that you learn? Is there a way to do it so a man wants you? The crowd laughs. Sayuki says it is an art. She demonstrates bowing, she does it whenever she meets her older sisters. Lisa Ling says it is incredible that Sayuki exists as if  in 17th century Japan in modern Tokyo. Sayuki practices her instrument before the performance. A kimono expert of 50 years dresses her. There are 4 layers. She wears black contact lenses. She does get nervous, it’s like going on stage. Sayuki and 5 others were hired to perform at a banquet. Events like this give her the exposure she wants to become one of the top geishas. A performance like this is like stepping back in time. She usually travels by rickshaw around the geisha district. Sayuki wants to stress that sex is never, and has never been, part of the geisha tradition. She says that prostitution was banned in 1957 in Japan, and that geisha’s have never been part of it. Oprah says it is an exquistive culture.

Oprah first read Sayuki’s story in Marie Claire, their new issue is on the stands now, thank Marie-Claire.

As Oprah said earlier, Lisa Ling will go almost anywhere. Most convents did not want cameras in, when asked, so  thank the lord for the Dominican Sisters of Mary outside Detroit. They opened their doors for Lisa and invited her to spend the night. They have a TV but it is only a luxury. The average age of the nuns is 26, the youngest is 18. Sister Mary Judith was told by God, she felt it in her heart. At 7pm, the bell signals the call to nightly prayer, the first 15 minutes are silent. Then prayers are chanted followed by  a choreographed procession of youngest to oldest to the altar. For silence, the sisters go and study, or do duties.  At 10pm they have profound silence which means no talking and everyone in their cell. The 100 cells (bedrooms) are cloistered which means no one from the outside world is allowed behind the door. We are the first. Their vow of poverty means no mirrors, they wear the habit all the time except for in bed. They say its very versatile. They say it is like a wedding ring, it means someone loves me, someone has claimed me, and that person is Christ. They dont need much.

The life of a nun means no children, sex, make-up, jewellry, possessions. Oprah asks, do think you could do that? Lisa got a great night sleep there and the sisters were some of the kindest people that she had met. Sister Mary Judith has been there for 5 years since she was 21. Sister Frances Mary got the calling at 22, 4 years ago. Oprah believes everyone has a calling in their life. Sister Frances Mary says she was dating a wonderful young man whose sister was a nun in her community. She felt a stirring. Sister Mary Judith was at a crisis point after 3 years in college. She grew up on a reservation in Saskatchewan. She encountered alot of drugs and wanted to save those who were drowning but wanted to also save herself. Oprah says lots of people have a crisis but don’t become nuns. For her, Sister Mary Judith felt God was calling in her emptiness. And she felt that she had to give all of herself to god. She didn’t ask alot of questions or visit before she entered. On her first day she thought what did I do? But she decided to get on with it. Oprah asks if there is a turn-back period? The first 7 years before you take your final vow you can question your decision. The first year you are a postulant, which means questioning. Many parents are upset when their girls become nuns.

There are more than 60,000 catholic nuns in the US, and 750,000 in the world.  Chastity, poverty, and obedience to God and church are the strict vows taken. The nuns believe they are married to Christ, some even wear wedding rings. They wear a habit which they consider to be their wedding dress. Clositered nuns rarely leave the confines and pray up to 12 hours a day. Many nuns devote their lives to helping the poorest people, some choose an independent path, live alone go to college and even have careers. This week Lisa Ling went behind the walls of a thriving convent in Michigan. Oprah says our culture places such a value on things, and possessions and sex appeal; did they turn those messages off in their head? Sister Frances Mary says that the bombardment of imagery undermines the human dignity. She had to weed it out slowly.  She grew up in a normal environment, without even God. Her boyfriend was shocked at first but very supportive. God takes care of everything and her former boyfriend is going to be ordained as a priest the same year that she makes her final vows. They wanted to get married, it was a struggle, they both cried, it was hard, they were in love. Oprah asks if she misses the affection of a man. She says she is still human, right, there is such a community and bonds of love between sisters, Jesus Christ is her spouse and God is Love (John 3:16). Love incarnate is her spouse. The habit represents the wedding gown, and that you’re married to christ, Oprah didn’t know that. Sister Mary Judith says that Christ is a really difficult person to be married to because if something goes wrong she knows its her fault. Everyone laughs, Oprah claps. Sister Mary Judith never thought she’d ever be this happy. Sister Frances Mary says they give their sexuality to Jesus which is beautiful gift, they don’t just give it to a thing or idea. Sister Mary Judith feels she has reclaimed her sexuality from an oversaturated sexualised world and she doesn’t want to be an object. Her sexuality is precious. Oprah interrupts to ask if they have any sexual urgings or feelings. Sister Mary Judith says it is a part of who they are, but not all they are. It’s like every craving we have that we don’t indulge all the time, like eating chocolate. Not eating chocolate all the time is not going to make her into a crazy person who is repressed. They use their desires for a greater calling or cause.

Lisa got up at 5am with the nuns, Sister Joseph Andrew, one of the founders is her tour guide. All meals are eaten in silence. Everyone has a job after beakfast. Sister Joseph Andrew uses her Balckbeerry to communciate by email with new recruits. The sisters play field hockey or soccer or basketball after lunch. They pull up their habits a little and wear sneakers. They are competitive. It can take up to 9 years to become a nun. Lisa sits down with the postulants who have been there for 5 months and haven’t yet earned the veil. Lisa aks how hard it was- it was hard to leave family, but a relief to leave behind Facebook and cellphones. The novices are the next level of nun. One speaks of the constant noise which gnaws at the human soul. Taking a religious life and vow of poverty gives her the silence she needs. The beautiful part of chastity means that you love more not less. Once sisters have taken their final vows they wear a black veil. Mother Assumpta, one of the founders, has been in the convent since she was 17. She hasn’t missed having children, God called her to this to be a spiritual mother.

Previously some of the nuns had other lives, one was a pharmacist, one was working in a fast food restaurant, one was engaged, but she had a longing in her heart. One was living the dream. Oprah also thought you had to have been a virgin to be a nun. Sister Maria says that it is possible to enter the convent by proving they have been living a chaste life and commit to living a chaste life in the future. She had a good life, which she enjoyed but it was superficial and empty, she was in the car business in New York. She says God is so good. Sister Maria Catherine joined at 27, she’d suspected she had a religious vocation for 5 years, but she was terrified. She ran out of all the reasons not to commit, she had to go and try it. Oprah says the best thing about being a nun is sensible shoes.

Oprah asks what happens if you break a vow, like if you go to Target and buy something. Sister Mary Judith says its an integrative away of life and even in married life women have the same vows of chastity, poverty and obedience. They can’t go where they want to go and they have to be spendthrift to support their families. Religious life is meant to mirror a human life of integration with the other. To break a vow means you’re not being true to yourself so you inflict your own punishment on yourself. Like if you know you are cheating on your husband, you inflict damage on yourself and others.

Sister Mary Samuel says that our culture is very challenging with its materialistic, secular nature. Its difficult for families and kids in schools. All our lives are a journey before God, and a religious life is a more intimate journey before God. They are freed from material things through the vows. Lisa Ling says she was surprised by the difference between the perception of nuns leading strict lives and the nuns that she met. Their lives are liberating now because they are not worried about being skinny enough when previously they always wanted more out of life. Oprah thanks the Dominican Sisters of Mary.

Oprah wants to make a difference in the number of lives lost by texting and talking on cell phones while we drive. Yesterday in a producers meeting, Oprah heard that Lisa drives with her knees and texts while she drives. Lisa admits it, she says she can’t lie in front of the sisters. She has done it, not alot, but she has. Oprah thanks her for being honest, but says she is stunned. Lisa is willing to say she’ll not text, but she’ll use a bluetooth which is legal in CA. Oprah says that’s not enough, she wants Lisa to go all the way infront of the sisters. She will not text and will encourage others to do the same. She will take half the pledge. People at home please take the whole pledge and at least give up texting. Goodbye everybody., thanks Lisa

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Paid sex is never, and has never been, part of the geisha tradition.

God takes care of everything.

The beautiful part of chastity means that you love more not less.

The habit represents the wedding gown, and that you’re married to Christ.

Nuns and geishas are just like us: they use email too.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Oprah says the best thing about being a nun is wearing sensible shoes.

Date: February 8th, 2010
File Under: Public Service Announcement

Episode 22: Oprah & A No Holds Barred Conversation With Child Molesters

If you can suspend your judgement and repulsion for an hour, we have an opportunity to learn from Oprah’s one hour converstaion with child molesters.

  • 90% of Child molesters are people that you know- family friends, uncles, brothers, fathers, neighbors
  • Child molesters seek out and sediuce vulnerable needy kids and gain their trust- trust is integral to the abuse
  • Child molesters are so conniving and manipulative that the molestation feels good, which confuses the child

What should you be looking for? This is a group session with 4 Child Molesters, their group therapist and Oprah. She says she comes attempting not to judge, so that their words will not be in vain.

Lee molested 3 kids when he was age 10-12, when he was 14 he raped his girlfriend who was also 14, when he was 65 he molested a 5 year old who called him grandpa. He was like a grandpa to the kid, he fondled her, touched her vagina and buttocks, orally raped  her and had her touch his penis. The mother walked in and discovered the kid pulling up her sweatpants- the child denied everything until the next day.

Darren began fantasising about orally copulating his 12 year old daughter, which grew into an obsession. He raped 14 year olds when he was in his 20’s which he was never charged for. When his daughter was 12 he was divorced and had custody of his daughter, he touched her when she was sleeping, it was impulsive, she was laying in an arousing position and he didn’t think she’d notice. The first time it woke her and she told her mom, Darren told the mom that the daughter was lying to get to back home to mom. He wasn’t worried about calling his daughter a liar, he wanted to protect himself. They shared a room, not the same bed. She wasn’t always asleep, he was molesting her- he’d feel between her legs before work to get a quick fix and head on his way. Both were clothed, he’d masturbate later, he’d use images of orally copulating her. He did that over her clothes on 3 occasions. It was an adrenaline turn on for him, it was something real fast without her knowing. Except that she did know. He asked her if he could orally copulating her, she said no. She did ask him to stop at other times, and he said ok but he continued.

Many people know Oprah was raped at nine and molested from 9-14 and because of that she wanted to sit down with child molesters to find out the why and how of their methodically carried out crimes. David had a family member 3 years younger than him growing up and he molested her from age 8 (she was 5) up to age 20. He got the idea one morning after she’d stayed the night and she didnt have underwear on. He wanted to see her vagina, she idolised him and would do anything he asked. He was manipulating that from he start. It progressed to him touching her on her vagina and chest and orally copulating her one time. He got her to orally copulate him at around age 12. One of his friends gave him a condom for a joke when he was 14, and she was 11;  he used it to rape her. She never consented to any of this, she went along with it to get his attention. She was as neglected as he was at home and he exploited that; he’d withold his attention to molest her. Sometimes she’d seek out the abuse to simply get attention. This went on till she was 17 and she got a boyfriend and told him. When he was about 14, he was molesting her in her bed when her mother walked in- he said he was giving her a goodnight snuggie. He mostly denied what had happened, he told himself that she wanted it  and that it was a  relationship and that her parents had forced her to admit to it and she didn’t want bad things to happen to him. While he was in trouble, he was witholding his attention from her  so she was even more primed for the molestation when it re-started which is how he came to rape her the first time. Oprah asks if they see adifference between molestation and rape. They say no, the methodology has the same emotional damage. Oprah says as a child you have no name for it so there is little difference between a hand, object, or penis. David saw rape as the last bastion of their relationship.

Robert was 18 and she was 12, he was walking home with friends, they started messing around kissing, then got her to take of her clothes and raped her. The therapist interjects to say that 90% of abusers know their victims. Oprah asks why they agreed to the interview- Lee says to tell parents what to look out for- if an adult spends more time with kids at a party than with the adults, then that is a red flag. Lee took advantage of the trust of a 5 year old. He thought she liked it but found out later that it hurt her. Oprah says as someone who’s been abused, that if an abuser is doing a job well, it will feel good. Lee needed the attention himself. Darren wants to prevent another father from molesting his daughter If he can save one child, he would say to that father harboring fantasies; if you are having fantasies, go get help, it doesn’t go away. Deep seated issues need to be treated as they won’t go away by themselves. David wants to impress that people be better parents- his victim was neglected, children are always looking for love. Oprah says she looked up to her uncle and cousin and family friend and was manipulated but didnt know and blamed herself. David can see the effects he’s had on his victim’s life. Oprah stresses that it’s about grooming and seducing your target, the targets are chosen, they are often needy and neglected. No one is choosing a child with confidence and self esteem, one whom they perceive will tell. David saw anger and retaliation against her parents in his victim, and he had trust from her parents. He couldn’t victimize without trust. The therapist thinks it is because of the trust that the victims don’t tell or scream. Oprah says if they are good, its not pain they are causing, they are trying to give their victims pleasure.

Child molesters charm their victims into trusting them, and many of them do not believe that they are doing harm, because they are not causing pain. Their goal is to give sexual pleasure to a child so that pleasure is reciprocated. Oprah was 42 before she realised that she’d been groomed. Darren talks of backrubs and foot rubs to prepare the child for the touch so that he could touch chest or genitals. David agrees, he would listen to her, then have his hand on her shoulder, then cuddle on the couch. Its like a couple on a first date. Darren knew it was wrong but justified it as a special thing between them. They all basically believed that they were bringing the child physical pleasure. Oprah asks Lee if he thought at the time that he was a disgusting old man, yes but it was too late to stop. He thought she enjoyed it so he’d fondle her to make her happy. None of them thought that they were causing harm at the time.

Oprah says that if you have been abused and are holding on to the feeling that its your fault because it felt ok, then that is exactly what they want you to think, so that you won’t tell; it is not your fault. Oprah says that sexual abuse changes who you are. David says it happened 2-3 times a week. The first time he gave her an orgasm by orally coupluating her he thought he was the king of the world. He had fantasies that they could run away together and live as a married couple. He has spent alot of time thinking of the consequences of his actions- he killed what she could have been, he murdered a person. Just because she’s alive and getting her life back doesn’t change what he did. A few years ago she contacted him through her therapist and said she forgave him. David has a real problem with that as he finds what he did unforgivable. Oprah says that him saying he killed who his victim could have been is one of the most powerful things that she’s ever heard anyone say; it is the absolute truth. When a child is abused, it changes who they are, it kills their spirit.

Oprah asks what they said to keep their victims quiet? Lee says that the 5 year old loved him and knew he’d get in trouble- he once told her that if her daddy found out he’d beat him up and she wouldn’t be able to see him again. That was a big thing, that was enough. Darren said he’d be taken away- if his victim told, she’d never see him again. Robert told his victims that he loved them.

Oprah asks what they most want parents to know. Lee says be on the alert , dont mistrust everybody but at least open your eyes and look around at what is happening. He feels that an alert person would have seen the signs with him- the cuddles, lap-sitting the attention. But he’d have lied about it if asked and would say he just loves children. Darren says  pay attention to kids cues and listen to your kids. If they say that someone touches them, listen, they dont make this up. They agree that the victim could potentially stop them by saying no. Robert says he may have been stopped by his victim saying no, in some not all of his crimes, David may have stopped if she’d said no and reported him. Lee feels he would have stopped if the 5 year old had said no grandpa. He loved her so much he would have stopped. Darren’s daughter turned him in, and he’s very proud of her for that, she has every right to protect herself and he is glad she exercised that right.

Oprah says listen to your child’s cues and if you think something is going on and something seems weird, then it probably is. That is instinct, trust it. If you are a child, tell someone, and if they don’t believe you tell someone else and keep telling people until someone believes you. Child molesters do not want you to tell. Oprah asks the therapist if Child molestation is misunderstood, as it is portrayed in the press as torture an pain. The therapist agrees; the unspoken shame is that for millions at the time it was not a horrific, horrible experience,- you would tell if it caused you great pain.

Lee feels he is being cured, he’s not there yet. He doesn’t trust himself around children. Darren says it is abit like being an alcoholic, but he can’t say he wont do it again. He may yet go back to the dark place. Robert  says he will not offend again, he has tools to help him with his triggers and problems, he’s happy. Oprah asks if he would be a danger to a group of gorgeous 14 year old girls; he says no. David says he probably wont offend again, therapy has helped him see he will always be damaged but he can work on it and be a better person.

Oprah thanks them for being so candid and open, and thanks to their therapist for her support, The whole 2 hour interview will be up on Oprah.com. A week today we are talking to mothers and babysitters who molest. Thank you for watching and remember to make your car a no phone zone.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY

90% of Child Molesters are people that you know- family friends, uncles, brothers, fathers, neighbors.

Child Molesters seek out and seduce vulnerable needy kids and gain their trust.

Trust is integral to the abuse.

Child molestation is about grooming and seducing a target. The targets are chosen, they are often needy and neglected.

Listen to your child’s cues and if you think something is going on and something seems weird, then it probably is.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Trust your instincts. When a child is abused, it changes who they are, it kills their spirit.

Date: February 5th, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment

Episode 21: Oprah Fridays Live

After all these years, it’s not often they have a first, but yesterday they had their first baby being born in the Harpo Studios. An hour later, it was a baby. Lori McKendall from Toronto Canada, and she is on the phone from Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. She had been trying for years to get to the show, she flew in for 2 days and thought she’d be fine at 27 weeks pregnant, but it happened there. She went to the bathroom and her water broke, after that it progressed really fast. Thanks to all the staff at the studio for getting her to the ambulance, and the paramedics, the baby was born about 20 minutes after she arrived at the hospital. The baby is having a lot of tests, he’s doing pretty good but it’ll be a long rough road. He was 2lbs 13 oz, but they’re checking his heart and lungs and things today. His name is Justin, Oprah says aah, Justin Oprah. Lori says they were considering Harpo. A contraction hit just as Oprah went to see her in the ambulance. Oprah says we will all send our love Justin McKendall’s way, and whenever Lori is ready, Oprah will fly her back to see the show. Thank you.

It’s Friday and Oprah is live in Chicago. She asks if everyone saw Pink at the Grammys, all she can say is Wowie Kazowie. That was something else, coming up, Pink! Wowie says Oprah, they hug. Oprah whoops. The audience go crazy. Oprah says Pink certainly gave the world something to talk about. Pink says it was fun, a good night. Oprah asks if it’ll be a momentous part of her life. Pink says yes, she really realized that when everyone stood up at the end. She went from super-graceful with the silks to all  tee hee, she waves and looks nerdy. Oprah wants her to do a play by play after the show on Oprah.com. to explain how she sang while upside down, because you can’t even hear her breathe. Pinks says on the trapeze she breathes even more so people know the mic is live. She was a gymnast for 7 years and loves acrobatics, and she’s seen the dancers do it before but never the lead singer so she thought why not. She sounds better upside down, she doesn’t know why. Oprah asks if she ever gets out of breath. Pink says when she walks out she’s nervous and her voice shakes, but once she’s in the silks, she’s no longer thinking, she’s in the moment. Her mind turns off, her voice turns on.  She wanted to do Glitter for the Grammys because after 10 years people still don’t know what she does. Its a spriritual song and the performance is spiritual, ethereal and visually beautiful. Oprah says it felt transendent, we got in the music. Pink says she wanted to get all the famous people wet. Her husband said a lot of people were shielding themselves from the water, and others were basking in it. Oprah asks whats she doing to her body to be so lean and muscley. She is just back from tour where she gets in really good shape, when she comes home she cooks and gets fat and happy. She used  the P90x video workout, but she bulks up too much so now she runs 70 minutes and does yoga for an hour a day. Oprah says she’s heard she has man-abs, Pink says now she has a bagel.

Oprah asks if growing up Pink wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. Oprah heard at one point she could do 18 back handsprings in a row- it was her party trick, that or she could sing Vision of Love. She seperated her shoulder the night before her US tour started, which was fun, so she can’t flip anymore, but the silks are making her stronger. She feels most herself onstage. She did say to herself well done after the Grammy. She didn’t forget the words or start laughing- that was the fastest spin she’s ever done, so she got a little dizzy. Oprah says it was a fabulous moment for all of us, thank you.

Pink dazzled  the Grammys and a TV audience of 26 million. “I Don’t Believe You” is off her Platinum album, Funhouse, and is the most humble song she’s ever written. This song is apologetic, questioning, begging. She and her husband broke up for a year. Pink was sure she was perfect prior to it,and she spent 6 years trying to change someone else. But she realized that she was distracting herself from learning who she was. Pink thinks you learn more about yourself in the context of a relationship, rather than starting again. Oprah says that’s what it is all about. Pink sings live. Oprah says that was very personal. The crowd applaud.

All eyes will be on Miami this Sunday when 100 million people will tune in for the Superbowl. Oprah tunes in for the commercials.  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has always been larger than life, from college football champion, to professional wrestling where his alter ego The Rock was born. Then Hollywood came calling and he scored again. He got the highest salary ever for his first lead role in The Scorpion King; his movies have grossed $1.5 billion, worldwide.

This is his first visit to Oprah, but she saw him at something last year and said oh there’s the Rock, he says that he says the same- oh there’s Oprah. He says it never gets old looking so good, he had a good upbringing with a mom who taught him to be gracious and thankful. As a 23-24 year old graduate of the University of Miami, he had $7 in his pocket, he had to move back in with his parents in Tampa, so he had a goal list. 1. was to buy his parents a house, – they’d struggled as he grew up and lived in little efficiencies, 2 was to marry his college sweetheart,- they since divorced but they are business partners and very very close, 3 was to graduate,  4 was to get out of all debt and the last was to take care of his grandmother’s situation, she had nowhere to live which he did. He did all that. Oprah asks hypothetically if when coming from nothing it is exciting to do things for others- he says yes, therein lies the power that Oprah can attest to, the power to change lives. The quote ‘if you”ve ever been hungry, you’ll never be full’ plays a big part in his life. Oprah agrees, you’ll never be satisfied, so how can you improve? which was what she said to Pink at the commercial break. When you see a performer push themselves beyond the expected, it makes you look inside yourself and think what can I do? That’s the power of great art right there. Dwayne says therein  lies the power of our president, and others, but it comes down to wanting to be a better person everyday. His hunger doesn’t subside, but his perspective changes. For some time he was investing in his career, but it wasn’t until his divorce with Danni, who had the capacity to bring him through the sludge of divorce and out to greatness. It taught him the power of investing in himself, not just his career. As an only child and fairly selfish, through the divorce process and having a little girl he grew as a person. Oprah remarks that he seems so calm and not  The Rock-like. he says he can be more The Rock.

Dwayne is a former college football camp; he’d like the Colts to win, but there’s something special about the New Orleans Saints. For those of us who tune in for the commercials, Dwayne will give some tips- The Colts are one of the strongest teams of the decade, they’ve had tremendous success, they have a Hall of Fame winning quarterback, they know what it is to win. New Orleans have an intangible magic, New Orleans and America have rallied behind the game so they could win too. If Oprah wanted to impress people at the party she’s going to, to make it look like she knows football, this is what she should say. She should walk in the room and say something like the pass protection has to improve, and then she should step back out. Or she could say, there’s got to be better blocking up front. If all that fails then she should walk in and scream over and over, Where’s the flags, ref? I quit. That’s good, Oprah says.

Dwayne will be at home because he’s shooting on Monday, a new action film. His goal ten years ago was to have a wide range of acting work, however he loves comedies and family movies, but there’s nothing like kicking butt. When he first got money, he bought his parents a house and himself a Rolex watch. It was the status symbol he knew as a kid. He wore it like 3 times then gave it to his dad. Now he does simple things to indulge, he spends time with his girl, she’s an amazing rider, he tries to sing to her, she’ll walk out. Oprah asks what’s the craziest thing that  a woman has done to get his attention? He often gets notes left on his car or his mailbox or at the security gate. A couple of years ago, a professional business woman showed him a tattoo of his face on her thigh. Oprah says interesting, it’s a delight to talk to him and she’d like to do it again.

Oprah is here with Cristina Ferrarei, the ‘love chef’ who loves to cook for those she loves. Cristina says that after the show she’ll be wrapped in silks, dipped in sauce and twirled from the ceiling so that everyone will remember this show. She’s starting with making guacamole, and it’s a healthy version so she can stick with her resolution to lose the 87lbs she gained over Christmas. The recipe is on Oprah.com. She adds alot of jalapeno, some cilantro and salt to the avocado that Oprah is mashing. They add lime juice, with the best squeezer gadget in the kitchen. Oprah didn’t know that lime juice is traditionally added to guacamole. The pit at the bottom of the bowl stops the guacamole from browning. They move on to tacos, taco seasoning is added after the lean beef is browned in canola oil. Her idea for the superbowl party is to keep her glycemic index even, just like on yesterday’s program. Filo cups are baked in the oven and filled with the taco meat for taco bites. They are frosted like a cupcake with guacamole, with a little cheese and salsa on top. Oprah says its healthy if you eat two or three of them, not a whole plate, Cristina says that you fill yourself up on two or three so that you don’t eat junk for the whole day. Christina is famous for her kick-butt chilli, the secret is beer and masa at the end to thicken it up. She serves it with mini potato skins made from fingerling potatoes, with a little terriyaki. They can be used to dip or to stuff with chilli. All the recipes are on Oprah.com, go Colts and Saints and make your car a no-phone zone

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

You learn most about yourself in the context of a relationship: stick with it, learn, don’t quit.

During the Grammys, Pink wanted all the famous people to get wet.

‘If you”ve ever been hungry, you’ll never be full’.

Set goals early, achieve them.

The Colts may well win the Superbowl on Sunday, but the Saints could too.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The way to The Rock’s heart is not via a tattoo of his face on your thigh.

Date: February 4th, 2010
File Under: Health, Live your best life

Episode 20: America’s Silent Killer: Oprah and Dr OZ Want To Save Your Life

Oprah has a radical goal- to save million of lives in the next 60 minutes. Diabetes is a ticking time bomb, a silent killer, annihilating 100 African Americans a day. That number may not be alot unless it’s your mother or friend or your family or yourself. It’s time to get out of denial. Dr Oz is here because as a heart surgeon he sees the affects of diabetes daily. Its the fastest growing disease in history 80 million people in America have, or or on the verge of having diabetes. 6 billion are walking around undiagnosed. We spend $174 billion a year on this diease, more than all the  cancers combined or AIDS. The healthcare system will be bankrupt if we don’t do something about diabetes. Believe it or not, the bright side is most diabetes is treatable and preventable and even reversible. Dr Oz is here, his new show is doing great, congratulations. They high five. He says he learned from the best, he was well-taught.

So what is diabetes? Dr Oz wants to be crystal clear that the problem is not just a little bit of sugar. A tortilla in the mouth  goes into the  stomach, the liver takes the nutrients and decides what to do with it, including making sugar. The pancreas is the hero today. The food in the small bowel is washed by the  bile and the yellow stuff from the pancreas. The molecules of sugar get absorbed into the body. In the bloodstream, the sugar is traveling, particles of insulin are being released from the pancreas to attract the sugar. The pancreas is trying to take the sugar and funnel it from the blood into the tissues- to the brain so we can think, to our muscles so we can exercise. Simple carbohydrates are sugars. If you have too much sugar going in, we store it in our belly, just as our ancestors did to survive. Belly fat gets ponderously large and poisins the insulin so sugar can’t get out the bloodstream. This is a problem because in the heart the blood vessels are delicate and the sugar is like glass shards scraping and making holes.As our body scars and attempts to heals, it breaks and ruptures. The open surface forms a scab like anywhere else in your body. The scab in the artery gets larger and larger and kaboom. Right there, you saw the leading cause of death in diabetics. A diabetic will most likely die from a heart attack. 1/4 of the patients he operates on every day has diabetes. Oprah summarises that too much sugar is like shards of glass inside the body. We scar and heal which equals hardening of the arteries. It influences all of our organs: a scarred kidney gives us kidney failure. An image of a healthy kidney is shown next to a diabetic kidney which has shrivelled. The blood vessels in the eye are very fragile. A diabetic eye has cracked blood vessels, which means that you get dark patches in your vision. This is not just a little bit of sugar.

Oprah has family members who takes insulin every day. Dr Oz wants us to feel diabetes, not just think it. He took a film crew to New York Presbyterian Hospital to see Laureen who is on insulin, who has had diabetes for much of her life. Diabetes ravaged Laureen kidneys so much so that by age 34 she needed a transplant. Just 7 years later, diabetes destroyed that kidney too. 3 days a week, she is on dialysis for 3 hours a day to clean her blood. Now at age 44, diabetes has taken a further toll on her body.  She ended up with lesions on her feet; she has lost half one leg and half a foot. What would she say to people who say diabetes is just sugar? Take care of yourself- she thought insulin would compensate for eating soda and cake. She used to be very active and was a nurse. She says people dont take it seriously when they feel ok. The day it hits you, it’s too late. The day she saw the dialysis machines she thought this is not me, it can’t be happening. She cries.  Dr Oz says shes a brave woman. Looking at her body, Laureen says its so shocking to see her foot and leg gone.

86,000 amputations are done every year as a result of diabetes. Imagine that your blood vessels look like a straw. The diabetes causes scars on the inside which twist up the blood vessels, which shuts off both the blood flow and the protective white blood cells so you get infections. Often the first problem is a toe infection- diabetics can’t feel it and they loose their foot. People change their lives based on what they feel, not what they know. So Feel Laureen. She is Type 1, which is genetic, 10% of diabetes is Type 1.  Type 2 is a lifestyle issues- the belly fat has poisoned the insulin. This is a perfect storm. When you go to get food, you get sugar which is like crack cocaine. He says he  is going to blow our mind He shows the 150lbs of sugar that each of us eats a year. Their generation ate 40lb of sugar less. That is shocking, says Oprah.

This show should be a big wake-up call. Everyone in the audience today has diabetes, pre-diabetes, or a family member living with diabetes. Oprah brought Dr Oz out of surgery and off his own show to be here today to give the brutal facts. $175 billion a year in diabetes spending will be doubled in 25 years. We will have to take care of a good portion of the population.

Warning signs:

  • Constant thirst
  • Frequent urination
  • Non-healing infections
  • Tingling toes
  • Blurred vision

Your whole immune system is depressed. Those symptoms will be there with Type 1 or 2. Type 1 can not be prevented, but it can be treated. Up to 90% of Type 2 can be reversed.

Risk Factors:

  • Belly Fat
  • Sedentary Lifestyle
  • Family History
  • Smoking

Dr Oz can walk around and see people with big bellies who have diabetes. It is not surprising. Exercise can help reverse diabetes. A little bit of fat is hard to reverse. Oprah asks if only overweight people are at risk. If the average height woman is 150lbs, has an increased risk of diabetes. If your waist size is more than half your height, you’ll have an increased risk of diabetes. Oprah is 5′ 6 1/2″ so her height is 66 1/2″ so 33 1/4″ is the limit for her waist size. We are not talking about really big people. And please women of America. guys never change their belt size after age 40, they just let it hang over the top, so you have to measure.

Oprah asks why is diabetes running rampant in the African American community? The big reason is because the cheapest calories are those with no nutrients. Every day on his show, Dr OZ gives Doctor’s Orders, and  when the guidelines were to eat 100% wholegrain foods, because that’ll prevent the problem, people wrote in by the thousands saying that they couldn’t find those foods in their neighborhoods. We need to change that. Find it and demand it. Forget the cheap foods, get food without a label. The Hispanic community is also hard hit. We have to eat better. Essentially, we must avoid the white foods, the processed foods. White flour, pasta, rice, bread, sugar… white bread is like a candy bar for your stomach. Oprah reads an email letter from 33 year old Rochelle- she lost her mom due to a massive stroke and renal failure brought on by diabetes and high blood pressure. She was only 53, and spent most of her life as a nurse. Rochelle is concerned for the health of her church, over half of the members have diabetes; they fellowship over food. Breakfast is fried chicken, french fries, pork chops and maybe a hamburger, after evening service they serve sweets. They are slowly killing themselves and they need change.

Oprah thanks Rochelle for the email which prompted the show. Dr Ian Smith is a Harvard Educated  diet and health expert, author of the 50 Million Pound Challenge, where he is mobilising the country to loose weight and get healthy. He went to Rochelle’s church to try and light a fire to mobilise change. African Americans tip the scale in record numbers- they are twice as likely to have  Type 2 diabetes, twice as likely to have kidney disease, twice as likely to have  amputations, and twice as likely to die from diabetes. A familiar scene in churches across the US, the congregation are enjoying their usual meal. Dr Ian asks who in the audience has or knows someone with diabetes- everyone raises their hand.Walgreens is going to test all of their blood sugar levels- it’s a simple test. Dottie is living with diabetes and Dr Ian says she’s a walking ticking time bomb. He is alarmed by the numbers and the denial. The members with diabetes are on a crash course for disaster.

Oprah asks him how it was, he says it was unbelievable. African Americans have obesity in record numbers- its a habitual thing. Habits are tough to break, especially around food. They take a heels in the ground approach that they will not be told what to eat and how to change, This disease comes down to attitude. So 24 church ladies from Dayton Ohio are in the audience in their hats. Dee Dee was told she could end up in a diabetic coma- she thought about what he said and she’ll do better with exercise, diet and medicine. As a diabetic she should test herself daily, Dee Dee hadn’t tested for a month.  Nell who cooks the food has diabetes, as does her husband. Her mother and sister died of diabetes so she has decided to take it seriously after the wake up call. Typically African Americans are diagnosed with the disease at later stages which means that the reversibility is more difficult to happen. You can almost always reverse it, but not the side effects such as heart disease. Outreach is so important, Dr Oz says if we can figure out the people who don’t know they have it yet, we can answer Laureen’s wish. Dr Ian’s goal is for people to do something now. There’s a sense of resignation that the family history is there, and a lack of urgency unlike in say pancreatic or brain cancer. Diabetes can take years to kill you. People believe they can change in the future and be ok. By the time they get diagnosed, it’s too late. Dr Oz says that taking insulin is not the solution. The pills paint over the cracks, but you don’t want the cracks to form. We must address the foods that are stopping us from putting one foot n front of the other, which is something we have always done.

Fitness expert Bob Greene, author of Best Life Diet: Managaing Diabetes and Pre-Diabetes says its up to us to save our own lives. His parents have it so he is a candidate, but by changing factors of lifestyle, you can change your risk. Exercise is huge, it’s hard to tell people to eat right and it’s harder to get people to exercise. We dont move in our culture as we used to. Bob was charged with getting the church ladies to move. They do not wear pants, ever, so they wear skirts on the treadmill. In footage, only a few say that they exercise regularly. 30 minutes a day of exercise, lowers your risk of diabetes by 60%. Exercise is not negociable. If they do it consistently they’ll drop weight which will lower their risk. He shows them strength training. They have to do cardio every day. They are lowering their blood sugar by exercising. After exercising, one of the congregation walked back rather than take a wheelchair as previously. The group craved the information. Bob says some are really ready to make the commitment, some will need more emotional homework to make the commitment.

Bob gave them a sermon on sugar after the exercise- hidden sugar is the big problem, well find it in ranch dressing, and each plate had about 4 servings of dressing. Take soda off the table, there is 10 tsp of sugar in each can. Women who drink one can of soda a day, increase their risk of type 2 diabetes by 83%. 2 tablespoons of ketchup has 2 teaspoons sugar in it. The doughnuts can each have 13 teaspoons of sugar in each.

Dr Oz says cut out the white foods. Dr Ian says cut out fried foods- bake, grill, steam. Bob’s book is all about food choices and exercise and changing behaviour, unwiring ourselves from how we grew up. He has a specially designed website that Oprah actually went  to with all the information, everyone can get a free 30 day trial at thebestlife.com.

After Oprah’s former chef, Art Smith, was diagnosed with diabetes, ten months ago, he’s lost 85lbs and now no longer needs to take his diabetes medication. His diagnosis horrified him- his parents have diabetes. His first goal was to loose 50 lbs, he thought at first he was getting older and couldn’t see as well, he thought he was having a heart attack and he other ailments. Dr Oz measures his waist -it’s 40 inches- which has reversed his diabetes. Without the belly fat, it no longer sends out chemicals to the body saying ignore the insulin.

Bob Greene has great recipes in his book, including fried chicken without frying it. Art says once a week he makes skinless chicken in a multi-grain cereal coating. Greek yogurt is zero fat and has protein, to coat the chicken. Bob’s cheesy cornbread has less calories and sugar than regular, and there is a black-eyed pea salad. We should have legumes, the super-food, 3-4 times a week. Apple cider vinegar drops the glycemic index of any food. The recipes can be found on Oprah.com.

Extra belly fat, thirst, urination means you should get tested. Walgreens is stepping up in a big way- tomorrow from 11-11pm, you can go to any 24 hour clinic and get a free blood screening, or you can call 1-800-Walgreens to set up an appointment. It’s free and easy and you can get tested and help reverse this silent killer. Thank you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

People change their lives based on what they feel, not what they know.

If your waist size is more than half your height, you’ll have an increased risk of diabetes.

The cheapest calories are those with no nutrients- white bread is like a candy bar for your stomach.

It’s hard to tell people to eat right and it’s harder to get people to exercise. Exercise is not negociable.

Stop eating white foods, stop frying foods, do 30 minutes of exercise daily.

VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Women who drink one can of soda a day, increase their risk of type 2 diabetes by 83%.

Date: February 3rd, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment, Transformation

Episode 19: Stars of Reality TV: Fantasia’s Comeback and Ruby’s Revelations

Her raw singing talent thrust her into stardom, but it all came crashing down after her. Over 30 million people watched her dream come to life as Fantasia Barrino won American Idol in 2004. She had it all—and almost lost it. Her first album went platinum, and her Broadway debut in The Color Purple landed her rave reviews and brought audiences to their feet. But suddenly her meteoric rise became a troubling freefall-  sales  of her second album were dispappointing, and as the sole breadwinner for her family, her finances began to crumble. She almost lost her house, she put on 30lbs, and she kept missing appearances which resulted in a hit on her reputation.

Fantasia is here. Her eyes water whenever she sees footage of herself win American Idol- it was a special moment that changed her life. It was something she always wanted to do but she felt it would never happen for her because she didn’t have a diploma, she is a single mom. She felt that her curse had been broken and that she could follow her dreams. Oprah recalls that several years ago she warned Fantasia that with all the money she would get “cousins” coming out of the woodwork. Does Fantasia think she mismanaged the financial side? Yes she did. She turned up to perform, and she let others handle her money and arrange where she had to be. She allowed them to take care of everything. She was young and naive and didn’t realise that she had to be involved in accounts and schedules, to make sure that people weren’t taking advantage of her talent.

Oprah, as the producer of The Color Purple had been so excited for Fantasia to star in the broadway hit. Scott and the others were so excited and thrilled. At the end, Fantasia began to miss so many performances that they had to pay back over  half a million to the audience in cancelled performance fees. More than the money, this was for many the first Broadway play that people had seen- people would bus from California to see her, and they were extremely disappointed when she wasn’t there. Fantasia had never done Broadway, nor had she seen a Broadway play. She wasn’t prepared for what comes with it. 8 shows a week and she had to also deal with her own life as a single mom taking care of everybody. It became an overload. What people don’t know is that she had to have two tumors removed from her vocal chords- as an artist who sang since she was five, she’d never been to a throat doctor- this was the first time she had worked with throat coaches. You can’t give your best only on some days, she doesn’t know how to give half. Towards the end she was very tired, and if she wasn’t on stage she was in the hospital getting an IV. Why didn’t you tell me? asks Oprah. Fantasia says she couldn’t find her. They laugh. Oprah asks why she didn’t say something to someone. Fantasia says that some of the producers knew she was getting an IV, and she just had to keep coming back for the next performance. She went to the best doctor in LA who took the tumors out and now she’s as good as gold.

Oprah says that’s scary for anybody, but for Fantasia it is her livelihood and joy. She couldn’t work for 6 weeks and she has to pay all the bills. She asked the lord and he said stop taking care of everybody. Now a reality show follows her battle back into success. As a single mom without a diploma, she wants more for her daughter than she has. Footage shows her daughter has 4 American Girl dolls, they all needed clothes. Her daughter got a guitar and a pampering party for all her friends for her birthday party. Her mother says Fantasia gives her daughter so much to make up for her absence. Oprah asks if she’s worried about spoiling her daughter? A little, because she’s always on the road and she has to keep working to pay for a good school.

2 years ago, Fantasia told People magazine that she was too broke to buy pizza. Oprah asks was there not a lot of money which came in after American Idol, and Fantasia says she doesn’t want to throw anyone under the bus- there was a lot of money coming in but she doesn’t know where it went. After the surgery, no money was coming in so she called her manager because her card was declined trying to buy pizza. The manager wired her some money, and at that point Fantasia knew she’d been mishandled. It hit her, wow. And she couldn’t ask anyone in her family  for anything, this was of her making. When she got her money from American Idol she’d send it home to her mom who was living in a hotel having just divorced. After she won, she wanted to make her whole family happy. In a family of six adults, she’s the only one working. In her reality show you can see how Teeny, her big brother, is unwilling to work. Her mom said Fantasia  enabled him, and now he’s disabled- he will not work. He has everything that he’s ever asked Fantasia for. He hangs out in the pool house all day long. Fantasia has decided that she doesn’t wasnt to take care of everybody. She has had it, she’s over it, it’s time for Teeny to go. She texted him to go. He was hysterical.

Fantasia put him out, don’t get her wrong she loves him, he’s her brother, but it’s too much. He’s a man, and the bible says if a man don’t work then a man don’t eat. Before Fantasia was blessed, her brother was the only one that worked, he could have gone to college on a scholarship, and now they are all take take take. She cherishes her house, and as they don’t pay the bills, they don’t cherish it. She hasn’t changed with money, she’s grown. Oprah quotes a book, The Gift of Fear, saying when you say no and others don’t listen, then they are trying to control you. Oprah asks if Fantasia was cautious about exposing her family this way? A litle, but she wanted them to see themselves, and they don’t see how hard she is working. Coming home to their drama where they don’t even say thank you. They pout, and she needs them, so she always ends up giving them something.

She had a lot of lawsuits coming to her, from her family and others, and they came after both of her homes. The home went up for auction. It was very embarrassing. What has she learned, Oprah asks. She has learned how to say no. Two, she has to be in control of her destiny- her money, her shows, everything. She is 25 and she can’t allow people to take care of her destiny. Oprah says she’s lucky to know that by 25. Fantasia performs her new single as inspired by her struggle.

Millions of women connect with reality star Ruby Gettinger, they laugh cry and struggle along as she tries to loose weight. Ruby at her heaviest weighed 716lbs, she knows her problem is both mental and physical. She doesn’t remember anything from her life before age 13. Now Ruby is starting to peel back the layers to discover the truth. This season cameras follow Ruby as she achieves major breakthroughs- she wears jeans for the first time in her life. She comes into the studio, wearing jeans. Last time Ruby told Oprah that she’d never weighed below 350lbs as an adult, she is just under that now. Last time Oprah asked what Ruby was feeding- and she was feeding pain. Her childhood has been surpressed. As a child the only medication that you can access is food. She thought this was just about  food, but it is about her pain in the past. To help track down her lost childhood, she hired a private detective who found a physician’s assistant who treated Ruby and her mother over 20 years ago. She met with the doctor, Dr Dukes; they used to come weekly, and he thinks that the mother was trying to protect Ruby from something that she suffered as a child. The doctor thought that Ruby’s mother fed her so much to keep her unattractive. She doesn’t know what happened, she will sit down with the doctor and her mother to find the secret behind her lost childhood.

Ruby recently realised that her missing years are the reason she overeats. Dr Dukes and her mom were really close at one time, so Ruby feels he’ll help. Her mother started seeing Dr Dukes for general things, but later on she figured out that there was something severely wrong and she was treated for clinical depression, and considered suicide. She was afraid of suicide, nothing happened but it almost did. When she was 11 or 12 she was by herself with someone who was kin to her and he told her not to open that door. The doctor says his aunt fed her beautiful girls to make them less attractive to men, and that maybe this was the case here. Her mother says she enabled all her children.

Oprah says that our past affects who we are now, but the real issue with food is what we do every time we have an emotion. Oprah knows from experience that emotional eaters eat to deal with their feelings- when happy, sad, stressed, bored.. . Ruby didn’t realise she was over-eating on snacks, all day long. Ruby needed food, it was giving her something that she wasn’t getting.  Oprah says food was love for Ruby. Ruby agrees.  Ruby’s father was gone alot because he was in the airforce. She doesn’t remember him at all from that time, but from age 13 up she became close to him to teach him how to love. He was a geat father and provider, but he couldn’t hold her hand or say he loved her. Oprah says Ruby  ate to make herself loved- with a disconnected father and a suicidal depressed mother.

Ruby went to see a plastic surgeon on her TV program, “Ruby”. He draws on the skin on her body- you trade the fat for loose skin or for scars. She had been excited to see a surgeon, but seeing the scars was horrific. The choice of hanging skin or scars is difficult. Oprah has always been told that if you cut the underarm flab, the scar never goes away. Ruby says it’s a no-win situation. She feels the hanging skin is worse than the scars. Nothing can change the hanging skin. Ruby had diabetes, and now it is under control, she no longer has to take medication. She was on 4 medications for the silent killer- tomorrow’s show is a one-hour special on the silent killer. Ruby feels healthier than ever, she has a fast-pace, she is not limited by anything, At 700lb, she couldn’t have sat in this chair. She wants to help others- to ask what are you hungry for, what are you feeding? Initially she couldn’t deal with the fact that she was a food addict. Oprah is a food addict, she doesn’t like to say it but it is the truth.

It’s a journey, season 3 of Ruby starts on Monday on the Style Network. Remember don’t text and drive. Thank  you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Learn to say no, even to family, if they ask for more than you can give.

Fantasia works really, really hard.

Money doesn’t change you, it makes you grow.

When you say no and others don’t listen, then they are trying to control you.

You don’t get to be 716lb if you are not feeding a suppression.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Don’t be the sole breadwinner in a house of 6 capable adults. Food is food, not love.

Date: February 2nd, 2010
File Under: Family, Relationships, Tragedy

Episode 18: The Children of Elizabeth Smart’s Kidnapper Speak Out

This family portrait of 1981 shows a family of six, with the mother a homemaker and organist in the church. Two decades later, she was part of one of  the most infamous kidnappings of our time, the abduction of Elizabeth Smart. It was almost 8 years ago, 2002, when 14 year old Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped by knifepoint in her bedroom. Her sister Mary Catherine, age 9, witnessed the abduction but pretended to sleep. 4 months later, Mary Catherine had a memory from that night, and the name Emmanuel came into her head. The family recalled they had hired a man named Emmanuel to do work around their house. They worked witha  sketch artist to create an image and a woman came forward identifying the man as Brian David Mitchell, a self-proclaimed profit. The tipster said he would likely be with his wife f 17 years, Wanda Barzee. She was right- a month later, Brian and Wanda were spotted wandering the streets of Salt Lake City with Elizabeth.

Elizabeth’s ordeal was finally over. She is now 22 years old and a few months ago she testified that Mitchell chained her to a tree and raped her repeatedly for the duration of her captivity. He pled not guilty and a judge is deliberating whether he is competent to stand trial. Last year, Wanda Barzee pled guilty to kidnapping and unlawful transportation of a minor. She is confined to a state hospital and is yet to be sentenced.

Wanda Barzee’s 6 children are not surprised that their mom could do something so evil- they say that they were her first victims. A video shows them going to the home they grew up in, they haven’t been back in years. Louree says their  family appeared normal outside, but inside everything changed. Rhonda said their father was over-controlling and abusive. Derrick learned how to fend for himself from age 8, he’d find his refuge in the back yard. Their mom would lock food up in the pantry for a couple of days to torment them. The dog loved them unconditionally, so Louree would hide with her dog in the doghouse, snuggle for warmth and eat dogfood. Derrick would roast on a stick whatever animal he could shoot with his BB gun. Their mom would take them upstairs and brainwash them each that the family would be better off without them, if they were dead. Andrea says she preferred the physical abuse to this mental abuse, these scars have remained. She robbed them of their childhood and innocence.

Rhonda, Derrick, Louree and Andrea are in the studio, 4 of 6 of Wanda’s children. Andrea is on the show to reveal the monster that is her mother, she does not like the media portrayal that Barzee is a vicitim of Mitchell. She thinks that she has been sympathetically portrayed as a psychological victim, Andrea wants to show that Barzee had issues before she ever met Mitchell. They were a bad match, each with their own psychological issues; they fed on each other. As children, they received physical abuse from their father, but also physical and medical neglect and prevalent emotional abuse. Outside appearances, meant that they looked like the Brady brunch, like a good Mormom family. Derrick says they had no sense of right or wrong, he was on his way to prison. Oprah says that as a child you don’t know what you need to develop. Derek craved love. Andrea says kids need structure, knowing they’ll still be loved no matter what. As kids, they never knew what was coming. Andrea did not know their life wasn’t normal until she visited someone else’s home. She went on a camping trip with another family and it was heaven, she realised that she did not care to be at home. She then took on the role of protector. Louree was the baby, when the others could get out and hide from the abuse, she couldn’t fend  for herself in the same way. Things were lost by the time she was born. The divorce happened in 1984, then Wanda who has always been depressed and psychologically abusive did have an emotional breakdown. When Andrea started to stand up for her siblings, she got the most physical abuse from mom and dad. They were all terrified of their dad- he declined the Oprah Winfrey Show’s request to be interviewed.

Oprah asks the siblings what they feel their mother’s sentence should be. Andrea doesn’t think her mother should see the light of day ever again, as a mother and citizen herself. Louree says that her mom is getting the right medication which is a good thing, now that she had accepted her part in this after years of untreated metal illness. Derrick says he is undecided. The eldest daughter had a hard time believing that her mom had any part of the ordeal, until she pled guilty. As the oldest of 6, Rhonda had a different feeling for her mom, she was closer to her- she was the first one, the golden child. She doesn’t remember her mother being abusive to her, they did cooking and baking and Wanda made all their clothes. Oprah reiterates that each child in every family has a different experience within that family. They haven’t seen each other for a long time, they need to respect how they each feel with regards to their upbringing. Rhonda is trying to remember the good.

Wanda was married to their father for 21years, then she  remarried Brian David Mitchell the next year. Rhonda got a creepy feeling from the first hug. Derrick says that everyone got that same feeling from Mitchell’s stare and mannerisms. In a video,  Rhonda says that originally Wanda and Brian seemed to be a happy couple. Derrick says he looked normal, but was weird, he had odd mannerisms. Louree was forced to pray with the couple for 2-4 hours a day. Once Brian nudged her and showed her some photos of nude women, but she closed her eyes. Louree said it seems that he was trying to get her to participate with them that day. The final straw before she moved out came when she asked what was for dinner one day. Her mom said chicken. Neither mom nor Brian touched their food, they were kind of picking at a salad, but Wanda sat smiling. The next day when she went to feed her rabbit Peaches, she wasn’t there. She asked her mom where the rabbit was, and she was told that she’d eaten her last night for dinner.

Back in the studio, Oprah says sitting at the dinner table, finding out you’re eating your pet rabbit, when you’re 14 years old. Louree said she couldn’t stay any more, the rabbit was the final straw in the mental torment. The control was too much; the windows were screwed from the outside, the TV was locked to National Geographic, she had to work from age 12, or was expected to only do church activities. Oprah asked if it also felt weird to hug their father- Derrick said their father never hugged them. The family dispersed, and then watching TV they found out that there mother was suspected of kidnapping Elizabeth Smart.

Back in 1991, Derrick heard that his mom and Brian had hit the road to preach, in an attempt to get closer to god. Wanda disowned her children. When Derrick’s son was about 8 years old, they ran into Wanda and Brian in a parking lot, he tried to introduce his son to his grandmother, and Wanda and Brian completely ignored them. On the 4th July, Louree and her daughter saw Wanda and Brian sitting under a tree, she went over to ask her mom how she was doing. Wanda grabbed her face, screamed that her father was evil, and then yelled scriptures at Louree. Rhonda saw them once at the grocery store, wearing robes holding a sack of potatoes- she couldn’t believe what she saw. Oprah says its interesting that Derrick wanted to introduce his son to Wanda after everything that happened. He says he wanted to connect and hoped his son would be able to, but it wasn’t to be. Derrick learned of the Elizabeth Smart crime on TV – he saw Brian’s profile on America’s Most Wanted. All the ill-feelings he’d had towards Brian clicked just then, and he wanted to find him and bring him to justice. He wanted to drag him by his beard to the police station. He knew 100% their mother had to be involved. Andrea was helping her foster parents move, and was told- later that night she called the police and had an interiew. The whole family gave the police tips as to where Brian and Wanda might be found.

Oprah asks why they went after Elizabeth Smart?  Louree says that she thinks they wanted to start their own religious cult. Brian was power-hungry within the church  and he couldn’t go much further within the church, and he wanted more. Rhonda got a letter from her mother recently. Andrea and Louree don’t stay in communication with their mother, Derrick has received a couple of things but he’s thrown them away; it’s too little, too late. Rhonda as the oldest didn’t believe it at first, she thought that maybe Wanda was the victim, she never spoke up for herself. They saw Brian and Wanda at their grandparents funeral, just before the kidnapping. Brian was yelling and screaming repent, and Wanda was walking quietly beside him. They felt she just followed him. Rhonda thinks she’s his victim because she wants to be. Rhonda thinks her mother should share responsibility for her actions.

Rhonda reads from a recent letter which says Wanda has boundless love for all her kids. Wanda is so very sorry for the lives of abuse, and that they have had to live without a mother or grandmother to their children. It is Wanda’s constant prayer that each of them may find it in their heart to forgive their mother, each is so precious to her. Louree shakes her head. Rhonda and Andrea cry. Louree says it makes her sick, everyone wants a mother’s love, and Wanda was never a mother. It makes her angry that now it’s too late. Usually you get either a mother or father which loves you, and they had neither. Derrick says as children there was a taboo around mentioning their mother’s sickness, and that now after a lifetime of suffering, their mother is getting the treatment she needs but their is a chasm between them to bridge. They don’t know how to do it. Andrea says its hard when there is nothing to model off or build a foundation.  She feels that Wanda doesn’t deserve the title of mother. A mother should nurture, teach, rear, uplift, comfort and love your children unconditionally. Oprah agrees that it is the hardest job on the world when it is done well. Andrea has a 22 year old son and a 19 year old daughter. Her son is the same age as Elizabeth Smart. Two weeks or so before the kidnapping, Wanda and Brian turned up at Andrea’s door, to try and enlist her as another wife. It was an interesting experience and she asked them to leave. As an adult she was able to control her own environment in a way she couldn’t as a child. They had sat down and talked about their gospel and Brian’s part in it as a messenger, and how they really wanted Andrea to take part in it. Andrea asked them to leave and they got up. Wanda asked for a hug and Andrea refused and said no but you can have a nice life.

Oprah goes back to ask Louree about the praying and the nude pictures- was there any abuse from Brian? Louree says there was no abuse but there was innuendos, long hugs and shrugging up against her. Itw as very uncomfortable, she felt that even in a turtleneck, Brian would undress her with his eyes. It ws very uncomfortable. She says that Brian gave Wanda a little bit of power to see what she would do with it, and it trickled. Derrick says Andrea would have kicked Brian’s butt if he’d tried to abuse her.

On September 10th, 2008 Elizabeth Smart was interviewed on Oprah when she said her captors should be charged as guilty, and that if they got out they’d do it all over again. Oprah asks the family what they think when they see Elizabeth Smart. Andrea commends her for the person she is, all she has endured and all that she aspires to be. Andrea says that as adults we create our own realities, and that her mom and Brian created theirs and shouldn’t be set free. She feels Brian is competent to stand trial- she says they are both intelligent, calculating manipulators. If you look at the time frame, her sudden cooperation is to help herself.

Oprah asks how the sins of their mother  have affected their lives. Louree respects every instance of her life for making her who she is. It has made her much stronger as a mother, and very close to her children. Derrick had to evaluate who he was, to look back and realise he was on the wrong path. He had to learn responsibility and own his own mistakes. He couldn’t blame his background for where he was going.  Rhonda is unable to have any children of their own. She got a letter recently from her dad apologizing that she had to parent her siblings. Growing up she was left to watch her siblings a lot. She wants to believe her mom, she’s tried to have a relationship with her for all these years. It’s hard. She doesn’t know how a mother could give up 6 of her own children and kidnap someone else’s child. Shes missed  a lot with her kids, but they’ve all turned out pretty darn good given the circumstances. She says both her mom and dad must have done something right.

Oprah asks why they haven’t all seen each other. Andrea feels she cant move forward if she’s living in the past, so she needs to surround herself with support. Oprah asks if the differences between their stages of healing and belief keeps them apart. Andrea has had a lot of therapy. Louree says its hard to go back and live in the past- it has been crazy since the story broke, prior to that she kept her past to herself. Now she has to come out and talk about it, which is good she supposes. Everyone’s experience is different, but seeing her mother try and take knives to her wrist or try and drown herself in the tub so that the children could save her, could try and make her love them, was so hard. And it’s hard for the siblings to remake their relationship when they have been in a mode of  every day survival.

Louree got a dolls house when she was 5 and it was her favorite things, 2 weeks later it was gone. It was as if her mother got a sense of happiness from the children’s distress. Oprah asks if Louree ever worries about becoming her mother, with the depression and mental abuse and neglect. She says no, she is aware of the psychological department, she is well-educated but her awareness helps her stay away from it. Oprah says we all have levels of dysfunction in our families, even Oprah has had to say I can meet you where you are now, to not go back and want to change the past. Rhonda is at that point. Derrick has too much distance, he doesn’t know to overcome the disconnection. Andrea has no desire for contact. Being a mother she can’t conceptualize what her mother did. Louree knew a monster, but she can’t say she’d want a relationship with that person, Louree doesn’t know who her mother is now. Andrea feels that this way her mother no longer has control. Taking a stand for herslelf. She left home at 13 to go to a foster home. Since then she has had to deal with the guilt of removing the primary target from the home. She was taken out of the home by a church program. Their mother kicked them out on the streets but she bribed the 3 youngers back into the house to stop the talk on the streets that she was a bad mother- two of them refused to go back.

Rhonda has forgiven her mother, but she is not sure how honest her mom is being. From the letters she’s received, Rhonda feels that her mother wasn’t able to stick up for her kids in front of her father. Oprah says it is our mammalian instinct to protect and care for our children, when that doesn’t happen something is very wrong. Oprah wishes them all peace and says that Wada Barzee declined to be interviewed for the program. A statement issued from her attorney stating that she remains in treatment for her mental illness and is a defendant in two criminal cases. Therefore she is unable to engage in a dialogue or comment on the subject of the program. She hopes to continue mending relationships wherever possible as she proceeds through her serious and unique circumstance.

Thank you all for watching today.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Each child in every family has a different experience within that family.

As adults we create our own realities and must be responsible for them.

We have to learn responsibility for our own mistakes and not blame our backgrounds for where we are going.

We all have levels of dysfunction in our families.

It is hard to form and nurture relationships when you are in survival mode every day.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

It is our mammalian instinct to protect and care for our children, when that doesn’t happen something is very wrong.

Date: February 1st, 2010
File Under: Public Service Announcement, Transformation

Episode 17: Undercover Boss

Do you ever wish your boss could walk in your shoes? To know first hand how stressful it can be, how  hard you work? You are about to see one of America’s most powerful bosses trade in his corner office and expense account for a bag lunch. For one week he’ll work undercover. He’ll work side-by-side with his employees and they don’t have a clue he is the big boss. Take a look.

Waste Management is the largest trash and recycling company in North America, a $13 billion business with 45000 employees and 20 million customers. Larry O’Donnell is President and Chief Operations Offficer. He’s been very fortunate in his career, but his family is very important to him. His wife and son are his pillars of strength, the joy of his life. His daughter was born normal but as the result of a standard examination, she threw up and aspirated and ended up with brain damage. And that’s why he never wants to work for a company where people don’t know how to follow proper procedures, maybe that’s why he takes safety so seriously.

Going undercover, he will pose as Randy Lawrence, shooting a TV show about trying entry level jobs within Waste Management, moving from location to location and staying at low-budget motels. Sandy tells  Larry to pick up trash, cardboard and recyclables off the conveyor belt line and put  them in the right places. Sandy shouts instructions to Larry but he simply cannot keep up. Larry says he was  sweating bullets because he knows how expensive the equipment is. Leaving cardboard on the belt will jam the equipment. He tells the people in the break room that he fears he may have messed up. Sandy has to run in an alarming fashion… and goes to punch in. She explains that she can get docked two minutes for every minute that she’s laste. Larry says that doesn’t seem fair.

Back in the studio, Larry is there with Oprah. Was he prepared for the physicality of it all? Not at all- he works out every and  thinks he’s in pretty good shape, but the reaching and stretching and trying to figure out what’s coming down the line  was very physically demanding. Plus the mental stress, particularly as a new person, he was not very good at it. He would have to practice to be good at that job.

Next time round, Walter is Larry’s supervisor at the landfill in Pompano Beach, Florida. He asks Larry to pick up litter that’s blowing away from the landfill and put it in a garbage bag. Larry asks if there are any special techniques and Walter says it’s just picking up paper. Larry says the trash is kicking his… Walter says he is taking too long, says he’s not cutting the mustard, they go to lunch. Outside of work, Walter is on dialysis which takes up three nights a week. Larry never would have guessed. Walter says his spirit tells his body what is going to happen. He says he gets pissed off by being able to run rings round healthy people like Larry. Larry gets a second chance after lunch, Walter will time him, and shout at him. Larry says he’s not very good at it. Walter thanks him for coming to  Waste Management to try it out, but says he just doesn’t have it.

Back in the studio, Larry says this is the first—and hopefully last—time that he’s been fired from a job. It should take ten minutes to fill a bag of trash. This did give him the sense of what his employees go through every day, and how his decisions can impact that. He spends 200 days a year out in the field so he thought he knew what they go through, he felt he was approachable and engaged by employees, but this is very different. When he goes out as the president of the company, he gets treated as the president, this is different.

Undercover Boss is a new CBS show where bosses go undercover and work with their employees. Larry now is filling the garbage truck in Rochester NY with trash. He works with Janice who says she visits a little over 300 homes a day. She says it’s  a good company but they are not very female friendly. She shows him the can she has to pee in. He asks if she’s ok with that, she says she has to be. They meet a community member who  hugs Janice and reminds Larry  him of his daughter and he breaks down a little.

Oprah asks Larry about the pee in the cup, he has no idea where the policy comes from. She was very engaged with her customers, but disappeared for a few minutes, and he tried to help, and then she showed him the pee can. He’s from Texas, where they call them pecans- he thought she’d been given a gift. When she put it in his hands it hit him. His mind started going thinking why is she peeing in a can? Though it’s not a corporate policysees it as his failure that they have thought about that.

His next stop is at a landfill in Fairport, New York. He is interested to see if the downsizing and streamlining of staff is working. Larry meets Jaclyn, she is office manager, administrative assistant, scale operator, scale supervisor, all the accounts payable, receivable and payroll. She nnever does one thing at a time. She felt overwhelmed the first week, but she takes multitasking to a whole new level. She makes the same amount of money for doing dual roles or triple roles or quadruple roles, she don’t even know how many.She wants to get the most out of life because she has I experienced a lot of health problems. By the time she was 21, she had a total hysterectomy and she had five forms of cancer before she was 25. She’s not the average 29-year-old girl. She says that someday, she’s going to run this place. She invites him fro dinner at her house to meet her family. He brings flowers. There are three families here living with her, depending on her. SHe just does what it takes. They moved in five years ago, but the taxes went up and it’s currently for sale, and she’d like to stay in the home.

Larry tells Oprah that he couldn’t sleep after visiting Jaclyn’s family. Jaclyn is there on the stage. Jaclyn felt bad for Larry, so invited him home. Oprah asks is he almost blew his cover… this was very unusual for Jaci to have so many jobs, and he felt bad for the family situation. At the risk of blowing his cover, he arranged to meet Jaclyn’s boss.

Larry’s next job is cleaning toilets. he looks vaguely disgusted. The site manager reminds them that they have 8 minutes to clean it and move on. They find the diaper. 15 toilets an hour is the goal, the person he’s with, Fred,  sees the potential in him.

Oprah was so inspired by Fred, cleaning toilets all day with such good humor. Fred is in the studio, he focuses each morning that the day will be a good day. If he wants to use the toilet he wants it to be clean. Oprah has never used a port-a-potty in her life because you don’t know what you’ll find in there. Larry was inspired by Fred, driving saying it’s not a job but an adventure. larry had more fun doing that job, which surprised him. Larry made it so much fun.

After one week undercover, Larry revealed his identity.  All of the employees are floored. Fred is invited to speak to the Senior Management Team. Larry commits to fixing the unfemale-friendly policy- he’s set up a task force. He will fix the clocking-in issue. Walter will get some paid time off to help people go through treatment as he is a motivational person. Jaclyn, who is doing all those jobs will get a salary, become bonus-eligible. She is delighted that her hard work has paid off. She feels validated. they are all blessed that they got to take part in this. To her Larry will be Randy, an everyday guy who impacted their life.

Oprah wants to say that part of the reason that happened is because she put out the opportunity and it came back to her. Fred no longer works at Larry’s company, it ended on great terms and he’s doing well. Larry’s biggest lesson was a whole new appreciation for the front line employees. On a personal level he is so blessed. One thing he learned is that people welcomed him and cared and wanted him to be a better person. Thanks everyone.

The 7-Eleven empire spans five continents and has more than 28,000 locations worldwide. The sultan of the slurpy, Joe DePinto, is the man who oversees this billion-dollar corporation, but for his Undercover Boss covert mission, he swaps his luxurious lifestyle for a uniform and mop. His  alias is Danny Rossi, his cover story is that he used to be in real estate. He’s out of work, and  looking for new opportunities. He wants to find out why people choose to work the nightshift.  His co-worker, Waqas, asks him to greet customers, stock merchandise and perform the regular cleaning duties. Danny is not working very hard, says Waqas. They have to keep these restrooms clean, four or five times a night. They have to throw away the stale doughnuts- Joe is upset that they are not going to charities.
The next stop is an early-morning shift  in Shirley, New York, to see why one store sells more cups of coffee than any other franchise. Joe says he need sto figure out what makes their coffee business so great so that he can share it with the other stores.  At 5:30 a.m. Joe meets Dolores. Joe suggests a sink would be helpful, Dolores says in his dreams. She knows everyone, she’s been here 18 years. One of the customers tells him that Dolores is raising five kids, has one working kidney and must have dialysis twice a week. Dolores is the reason that they are selling 2,500 cups of coffee.

Back in the studio with Oprah, Joe was reminded of when he started in a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and it reminded him how hard the folks out there work. At one point he asked to turn off the cameras- he couldn’t believe they were throwing away doughnuts. Now they have a system in place. Oprah calls Dolores the coffee queen. SHe joins us by Skype with her customers. Dolores says the secret is good coffee, nice customers and a good store. SHe thought Joe was pushy and had no potential. After revealing his true identity, Joe gives Dolores a special surprise—two season tickets to the New York Yankees, her favorite team.

7-Eleven also donates $150,000 to Donate Life America, an organization that encourages organ donation, in honor of Dolores. She thanks him. Joe’s final assignment lands him in a delivery truck with Igor in Dallas. Igor was a college educated business manager in Russia, and a decorated officer in the army. Igor tells Danny that his truck is his baby, and if he had arms long enough he would hug it. Then he says let the fun begin and the two of them start their round of deliveries. Danny says is it a pleasure having worked with Igor, he is energetic, enthusiastic and positive, just the kind of guy you would want to work for you. Back in the truck Danny asks Igor how he stays so motivated in the middle of the night. Igor says that he is living the American Dream; America is the best country in the world, Americans just don’t know how blessed they are.

Back in the studio with Oprah she tells us that Joe calls Igor an unsung hero, he drives his delivery truck with gusto. Oprah then turns to Igor and asks him why he admitted to one time looking down on people like himself. Igor says that when he was back in Russia he used to be in a position of power and of course would down on people below him. However, when he came to the states he couldn’t really find a job because of his inability to speak the language and was a janitor for a while. This was a very humbling experience and made him better understand people. Oprah asks how he how he can keep so positive driving a truck. Igor takes pride in a job well done and when he used to be a janitor he would make the restroom floor sparkle like diamonds. Oprah then turns to the audience and says that Joe has some good news for Igor.

Joe tells Igor that he has humility, can-do-attitude and that he’s a hard worker who puts the company first. Joe knows that Igor has dreams of running his own franchise but that he’s been worried about finances, therefore 7-Eleven has waived the franchise fee and Joe hands Igor the keys to his own store. Hugs all round. Oprah tells us that Igor now has his own store and that 7-Eleven has waived the start-up fee which normally amounts to $140.000 and that he now fully can live the American Dream by being his own boss. Undercover Boss will premier on CBS on sunday right after the Super Bowl. Bye everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

If you go to meet your employees as the president of the company, you  get treated as the president of the company.

As an undercover employee, you may uncover some of your own policies which shock you.

You may also discover that your employees work  harder than you do, with much less reward.

America is the best country in the world, Americans just don’t know how blessed they are.

As the president of the company, you will be able to reveal who you are and give your employees some hefty financial rewards.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Work hard and you will be rewarded. Keep hoping your coworker is actually your very rich boss.

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