Every time a new episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show airs in 2010, we will blog along with it. If you have plenty of time, read the long version. If you are pressed for time, read the “What we learned today” summary. If you are really, really pressed for time, read the Twitter-sized summary.

Archive for category Live your best life

Date: February 16th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Makeover, Transformation

Episode 28: Make-Unders: How’d You Get That Way?

Oprah says look around at these pictures of some of our most cherished viewers; mom age 34 and her daughter 16 from a few towns over, Wayne from Taylor Michigan who is clearly stuck in the 80’s and Cindy, God loves teachers, but should she be wearing this to lead our children into the future?, and Dawn… Dawn, Dawn. How did these folks  get this way? She knows we all know someone too overdone, too pooped, too painted. These folks don’t need a make-over, they need a make-under. They brought in the big gun who’s so much fun, with tons of experience toning down, come on in Carson Kressley.

So today they are going to have fun in the spirit of helping people look there best. Dawn is a 44 year old single  mother of two. As a child, Dawn was a girl next door; shy, reserved and not outgoing. High school was really hard, she was told she wasn’t going to make much of herself and it was a sad lonely time for her. At 21 she started to change her look and she started to get attention. She started tanning,  dieting, working out and coming into a different kind of look. She says her look doesn’t match her inside as much as people might think. She is a mother first and foremost. Her kids hate how she looks and she’d really like her son and daughter to be proud of her.

Carson hopped on a plane to Canada, which he says is more of a frozen tundra than Chicago, to knock on Dawn’s door. Oprah loves it when this happens; take a look. Edmonton Alberta in Canada in February, Carson says he’d do anything for Oprah. Dawn answers the door and starts shrieking. She takes him upstairs, and he asks if she’s had implants or if she’s naturally endowed. Dawn says they are natural implants. He says they got really big with silicone and she says yes. He asks about her hair- it is extensions. He asks if she’s had anything else done? She says her lips , botox, eyelash extensions. She was been doing this for way too long, over 20 years. Carson says is she asking who is this person and she says yes. Her daughter is 15 and she doesn’t want her to grow up in the same way. She says her daughter is beautiful and perfect the way she is and that Dawn does not want her daughter attracting the wrong kind of attention. Carson says that is what they should want for Dawn, right? Ok, they can do that. They talk outside her closet. Carson asks if there was a moment where she decided to change herself, her looks? Dawn says in high school she  overheard a guy she liked saying that Dawn was a nice girl but too fat so he would never date her. To this day she remembers that. Carson says wow. Looking in the mirror Dawn sees someone with alot of makeup on, someone that is overdone. Not someone that is really her. She thinks her kids see.. she breaks down… she doesn’t think her kids are happy with what they see. They see someone who is supposed to be a role model for them and they would just like to have a mom like everybody else’s mom.

Oprah says to  Carson that addictions affect people in all ways, and that he thinks Dawn has a beauty addiction. He thinks that a little beauty was good but that Dawn was doing as much as she could to be accepted. Just like a food or drug addiction, you do that to fill the void to make yourself feel better. Carson challenged Dawn to strip it all off and peel it down, not easy to do when you’ve had the same beauty routine forever, for 20 years. She gets up at 6am and she’s ready at 11am; Carson doesn’t do math but that’s a really long time. Oprah is speechless. This addiction was taking her away from her family and her job.

Carson asks if her look is a security blanket. yes, her hair has been a focal point, the little girl inside has always felt overweight and she felt that if she had the hair, then people wouldn’t look at the weight. They agree that’s pretty scary. He asks her to imagine how liberating it will be to get rid of it and not hide behind it. She removes her makeup, she’s nervous. Carson thinks she looks better without it, Dawn says it takes her back to the girl she was in high school. Taking out her hair extensions, they call in a reinforcement for help who says it will probably take 3 hours. Carson hikes up her top to cover her cleavage. Carson leaves her with the rules until they meet in Chicago- no makeup, tanning, bronzer, lipstick, eyeshadow, foundation, no bronzer, no hair extensions, false eyelashes and no outfit that show almost all of her boobs. He asks her to remove her false nails. She says that will be very hard. They hug. He is proud of her. He says they’ll discuss getting her nails back in Chicago. She thanks him.

Dawn’s 2 teenage  children are in the studio with Dawn’s best friend, Wendy. Oprah asks how they’ve felt about their mom’s look all these years? The daughter says its kind of hard because her friends look at their mom and judge- either she’s a porn star or… her brother’s friends think she’s a MILF. It’s been hard for her whole life- Oprah says she’s in for a big surprise. Dawn’ s children have been embarrassed for years. Troy, her son says that his friends at school call her a MILF. Oprah says if you don’t know what that is, then ask your children. The crowd laugh. Carson has been working around the clock with Dawn to set her free from the make-up which binds. The kids and wendy are really ready. Dawn comes out and the crowd go wild. The kids come up on stage and they all hug. Oprah says it’s great. Dawn did what Carson said and walked around stripped down- at first the lack of attention was hard. She’s so used to being looked at and asked if she was a celebrity, it was hard. Oprah says she was used to leading by her boobs, and Dawn laughs and agrees. Dawn says that you get so used to being a certain way that all of a sudden she felt naked that a piece of her was stripped away. She says that may not make sense as she used to walk around almost naked. Oprah says Dawn used to call her extensions her comfort food, and asks how she feels without all the hair. Dawn says it’s so freeing. Wendy says Dawn looks fantastic. Oprah asks if this look reflects who she is- absolutely she feels beautiful, pretty and classy. Oprah says she looks it. Carson explains what he did- Dawn’s look was so extreme- a stripper without a pole, but getting to know her she is a wonderful mother and a kind person. They stripped everything down, she has a great natural beauty. So many people with beauty addictions are hiding and they just wanted to reveal what was there- great bone structure, beautiful eyes, great body and legs. He says that you don’t have to show it all off at once, and this is a look to be proud of. The kids are beaming as much as Dawn is. Oprah says that’s a mom you can take to the PTA and Carson says she’s still a MILF.

34 year old Liz and 16 year old Vanessa are a mother and daughter from  Illinois. Carson stopped by their house a few days ago. He knocks on the door and they hug, Liz squeezes his bum and he says it’s better than a handshake. Carson says its 9.30am and they are done up like they are going to Caesar’s Palace. They say they always are. He says he sees a theme here, as the house is very, um… Liz says Soprano-esque. She does know that she’s a little much, she was a very, very poor child so she knew when she grew up she wanted the best of the best. He asks how long they invest a week in their beauty routine. Liz says alot maybe 20-25 hours a week. Carson says that’s more than he actually works a week. He asks what their friends think of their look. Vanessa’s friends think shes ridiculous and want to scrape off her makeup. her hair takes an hour a day or more based on the size of the look. They both have medium sized hair today; it can go bigger.

Liz and Vanessa haven’t seen each other since the transformation. Their husband/ father is in the audience along with some of their family and friends. Liz comes out and the crowd applaud. Oprah says it’s amazing, that she looks so much younger. Carson says that he told Liz that the photos with the make up make her look 45 not 34, and he says she almost stabbed him with a shoe-horn at that point. The make up was too heavy and ageing. Carson says make up should enhance your features not cover them up, which is aging. Liz feels freed and and is pleased that everyone else liked it as she wan’t sure they would like her this way. Vanessa who is only 16 comes out- and the crowd go crazy. Liz says she’s so pretty. Mom and daughter hug a little and cry a little. Carson and Oprah say it’s 16- young and fresh and dewey. Carson says for Vanessa, who he was calling Gosh Spice, it was about making her look age-appropriate, she’s so gorgeous. The husband/ father  says thethat they look hot, he likes it.

Cindy is a 48 year old mother of 2 and a professor at the University of Missouri. She says that  some of her students and coworkers don’t take her seriously dressed like this. She spends alot of time and money making sure that her hair, makeup and clothes make her look good. She is a professor in the journalism school and some of her colleagues say that some of the conflicts in her classroom may be because she dresses like the students. She likes to dress in unique clothes that you don’t see on everybody else, like this spotty dress where the sleeves join the skirt, which she loves because it’s different. Her favorite dress is a short sparkly number that she can’t understand why other people don’t like it like she does. She has evolved so many times from heavy to thin, she’d dress in the dark because she didn’t like the way she looked. She has kept her weight off for 19 years and her natural state will be interesting to see. Carson says alot of women who lose weight go too far showing off their bodies. Oprah loves CIndy’s biceps, Carson says she has Madonna arms. She comes out and the crowd applaud. Oprah says wow wow wow Professor. Cindy’s mom loves it. Cindy is getting used to it, getting rid of the nails was the hardest- Carson says she had eagle talons before with artwork on them. Oprah wants to talk about artwork nails- Carson is not a fan. Oprah says Cindy lookss fantastic and her students will love this.

Last fall they  had so much fun making over men, you can nominate your scruffy, shaggy-haired man right now on Oprah.com. For a little inspiration, meet Wayne. Wayne is an 80’s guy turned in by his wife. He has 20 sleeveless tie-dye shirts. He’s a software developer by day and a rock n’ roller by night. It takes him forever to blow-dry his hair to get the curl out. Oprah and Carson are speechless. Oprah says that’s why we love America, because there is room for everybody. Patty and her daughter Stephanie are here, and Wayne comes out now. The crowd applaud. Oprah says Wayne who are you? Wayne says he’s trying to figure that out too. Oprah says she couldn’t pick him out of a line-up. His family are stunned. Wayne is not used to it yet, it’s been a thrill, he hasn’t seen himself without facial hair since he was 14 years old. People have been encouraging him, saying his wife is gonna love him, so he’s thinking ok. Carson says Wayne had so many colors in his highlighted hair. He’d tried to hold onto his hair, his youth. Many guys have a Rip Van Winkle Syndrome when they haven’t changed their clothes in 40 years and think they look great like they did in high school. That was 3 decades ago. Carson recommends that men like this go shopping every Presidential election or something. Women are better at updating. Wayne’s family are stunned, he can change his identity, he doesn’t look like the same person. His wife loves it. Carson will be back with the man makeover show in July. Oprah says he is very funny with guys. He says men are his speciality, they are like puppies. Oprah thanks Bloomingdale’s, the Laura Mercier makeup team and Salon Buzz in Chicago.

From your look to your home, many people can use a make-under for their homes. Nate Berkus says edit edit edit. He says that everyone in the entire coutry who doesn’t feel good about themselves buys another trinket, another picture frame, another vase and shoves it on the bookshelf. They think that all gifts should be displayed. Christina wanted help with her mom Lois’ busy overstuffed outdated den. Nate met them in their home in Louisiana. He goes to their home. The den makes him say wow, what is this room? The den, gym,  greenhouse, trophy room and photographs share the space. He says it definitely needs a makeunder. They wanted a sunroom and a den. Nate says that they have the opposite, it feels like winter and death, quite honestly. He thinks there is too  much stuff; the texture of the panelling, the texture of the brick, the busyness of the rug, busy drapery, tons of stuff. He can’t see what he’s looking at and there’s too much furniture to move properly. They sit down, Nate says that they can’t figure out where the camera guys should go as there is too much stuff in the room. He asks what they would feel comfortable editing out- Lois says the table and the bookshelf. Christina says the entertainment center. Nate agrees that we no longer have the big TV’s that once needed such big furniture. He asks Lois if the photographs make her feel closer to her daughters? She says yes, in a sense, as they live so far away. Nate wants to take the focus off everything and on what really matters. He needs their help, which means with all due respect that they won’t help, they have done enough.

Oprah says she thinks that this is so great because everyone wants Nate to come to their house, but that everyone has too much stuff going on and the focus, what rises up to meet you when you walk into a room is important. Nate says that everyone can do that and the mistake so often made is that not everything is important. If a collection of statues are important and all the photos are important, rooms must be edited. It is a maintenance issue. We don’t load up our sink and leave it for 15 years, but people do that with their bookshelves until the Opra Show sends Nate. Oprah says she’s noticed that with photographs, people add and add. You need to edit.

Nate Berkus had 24  hours and a team to get this done. The crew dismantle the den while Christina and Nate pair down the photos, she uses post-its to indicate what can go in storage. In Lowe’s he gets a softer rug and some new curtains that he says are literally perfect. There’s so much going on in the den he will neutralise the space with a light paint color. They cover the brick with panelling and paint it all to get a backdrop. The photos will be reframed to be a focus. He uses paper cutouts to arrange the layout. He says focus the photos on one wall. He moves the bulky electric firplace to a new spot and paints it. He divides off some of the room with a screen which he says is a great idea for multi-purpose rooms. He turns the exercise equipment around and adds a small TV. He says it’s brighter, lighter and understated.

Oprah asks if you can paint over panelling? He says to ask an expert at a paint store as there is a base to go over almost everything. Oprah says that she’d never heard of Lowe’s before Nate started doing these shows but now she uses Lowe’s all the time.  Time for the big reveal- Nate tells Lois and Christina not to open their eyes until he says so. When they do open their eyes, they scream. They say it’s beautiful and pretty and they both have tears in their eyes. They couldn’t have imagined it. He shows them the moved painted fireplace to reorientate the room. He used alot of the same pieces and painted them. Lois says it’s elegant. Nate changed the background to be able to use their furniture. Now it’s calmer to the eyes, lighter and fresher and more like a sunroom. He kept the exercise room, added a TV, and screened it off to take the focus off the exercise equipment. He has edited down the plants and photos which used to go all around the room. Now Lois can really see the pictures and not a whole bunch of clutter. She’s blown away, her daughter is happy. Lois, live in the studio via Skype says the experience has inspired her to edit more rooms in her house, she is thoroughly enjoying it- she and he husband watched the superbowl in the den. She got so pumped up and excited that she decided to light up the walls in her other rooms. Christina says Nate did an excellent job in 24 hours and that he could hone in on what is important to their family was incredible. Oprah thanks Lowe’s.

Recently Nate took the No Phone Zone Pledge and he hasn’t broken it. He didn’t realise he’d have to reschedule his life- he used to call people in the car when he would have no other distractions. Which he sees now was stupid. Oprah won’t talk to anyone on the phone, God forbid someone gets into an accident and says I was on the phone to Oprah. Nate says he’d be seen on the expressway and someone would call Oprah to report him. They both say that they would turn the other person in. They laugh and high-five. Oprah says be like Nate, take the pledge. She then says when Carson comes back he’ll take the pledge. Carson says he lives in New York and calls people on the subway, even though it’s underground and doesn’t really work. Oprah says it’s a commitment to saving lives so we don’t have to keep telling stories about the 6000 people who got killed last year. Take the pledge. Thanks.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Just like a food or drug addiction, a beauty addiction fills the void to make people feel better.

If you don’t know what a MILF is, then ask your children.

Make up should enhance your features not cover them up, which is aging.

A lot of women who lose weight go too far showing off their bodies.

Oprah says we love America, because there is room for everybody.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Too much make-up is aging, too much clutter is messy. Edit, edit,edit.

Date: February 11th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Transformation

Episode 25: The High School Quarterback Who Became A Lesbian

Kimberley Reed was once Paul McKerrow, a high-school quarterback in Montana. He was the starring quarterback, valedictorian, and voted best looking and most likely to succeed. He was the golden boy every guy wanted to be and every girl dreamed of, now he is a woman. She looks like this picture and she’s a lesbian.

Growing up in 70’s Montana,  Paul’s father Lauren was a doctor and mother Carol was a schoolteacher. They adopted Kimberley’s brother, Mark, and probably conceived Paul the day they picked Mark up. A year later, along came another surprise, Tom. It looked like a dream childhood, but appearances can be deceptive. Paul did the things in high school that you were supposed to do, he thought it would make the other crazy idea go away. He began to question his gender identity around first grade. As he grew up, Paul was attracted to girls, but he didn’t feel like a typical high school boy. He dated women, pretty innocently, alot of the times he wanted to be one of the girls. After college he moved to San Francisco, where he first started dressing as a woman. He would segregate restaurants, going to some only as a male and some only as a female. It was crazy to live like that. You can only live a double life for so long. Over the next few years he took it further, and started taking hormones which helped his body feel right, then in his late 20’s he undertook gender reassignment surgery. Paul became Kimberley. Sexual reassembly surgery fashions a vagina from your genitalia, and she had some help with her breasts. She checked into her apartment as a male and left as a female with a new name, drivers license, social security number and passport.

Oprah says that if we dont relate to Kimberley’s story, most of us can admit we have something which holds us back from being all we can be, whether it is weight or a bad relationship. As you hear this story, think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth. Kimberley joins Oprah onstage. Oprah says she is always fascinated by these stories because it’s so hard to imagine not being in the right body. Oprah says she can relate to most issues, but not this one. Kimberley says she found the right body by a process of elimination, she was magnetically drawn to it. She tried to avoid it, to not be weird, to fit in. She started to feel different in about kindergarten or first grade, she wanted to be with the girls but she had to repress it. During her teenage years she wondered if she may be gay, later she tried all the options. In high school she felt that the thing going on which made her different had to be shut down, so she went all out to be a football player, to do all the things that you should do. Becoming a football star was part of the rules. She is glad that she grew up as a boy, but it makes her sad because boys can be strong and independent whereas girls often withdraw and doubt themselves at around age 11 or 12. Oprah interrupts to say that Kimberley can sing that Beyonce song “If I Were A Boy” and mean it. Kimberley doesn’t remember a time when she didn’t have the urge to be female, but she took specific steps towards it around  5h or 6th grade. She had a paper route and she got up very early in the morning and dressed as a girl to deliver the papers.

When Kimberley traveled back to Helena, Montana for her 20th high school reunion, she didn’t know what to expect. Last time her classmates saw her, she was Paul. She says the first part of her life she lived trying to deny that she was a girl, the second part of her life she tried to deny that she was ever a boy, and now she is trying to reconcile the two parts of her life. She is pleased she got the sense of entitlement, license and freedom of boyhood, and wishes girls got that. Oprah says we see that parents treat their kids differently even if they say they don’t treat their male and female children differently. At High School Paul went to the prom and felt awkward, she felt she was trying to play a part but it felt off, like she was putting on an act. She went to college in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is a very conducive place to experiment. She tried to date men as a man, but that didnt feel right, but she did start to know she was attracted to being a female. She lived as a male student in Berkeley, but would drive across the bridge to San Francisco to be a woman. She was an exchange student in Norway, she deliberately went where the other students wouldnt be. She took the train as  far north as she could go and camped  on a fast, awaiting a revelation. She realised she’d been trying to avoid this in so many ways, but the revelation was always there. Oprah says its like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there. Kimberley was waiting for the big revelation, and it was there. That was a big turning point. The movie she has made, Prodigal Sons is interesting, according to Oprah, because it focuses as much on the family dynamic as Kimberley’s gender. Kimberley told her mom, probably later than she should have done. Oprah says she feels parents know but don’t want to see it, especially seeing the feminine side in their sons. Carol in the audience says she saw nothing, not a hint. Kimberley says she hid it well because she was hiding it from herself. Carol doesn’t see hints even looking back with hindsight.

Kimberley travels back to her hometown for her 20 year high school reunion. Oprah says everyone who is worried about going to their highschool reunion, should imagine this. The video footage plays. Kimberely decided to go back for the reunion, this would be the first time that most of her hometown will see her, although they heard a few years ago of her gender change. The party is at the co-captain of the football team’s house, Kimberley, as Paul, was the other captain. She goes to the party and greets her old friends and former dates. One of the women says that all the girls had crushes on her back in high school. There was no adverse reaction at first, but one women says she still doesn’t get the difference between gay, homosexual, lesbian and transgender. Kimberley and her girlfriend patiently explain. Oprah in the studio says, I’m like her, I’m all durr. Joining us on Skype is Paul’s former team mate and best friend, Tim. Tim says that as a friend it’s been a little bit weird, he was protective so didn’t want to say words like weird. It’s surprising that his mother didnt know. When Kim’s dad died, Kim came back, and Tim’s mom told him that Paul is Kim. When his mother told him that Paul is Kim, Tim said what and she repeated herself and they had that exchange about five times. Oprah laughs hysterically. There was another woman named Kim that he’d just seen at Carol’s house who was pregnant and he thought wow Paul really went all the way. Oprah laughs hysterically. Paul was great at everything, she was good at every sport she tried which was one of the sources of sibling rivalry in their household. Tim says they were close friends throughout school and they stayed in touch. The first time they tried to go out for a drink, Kim was too chicken, so Tim went to meet her and Claire. It was a bit surreal to go back to her old house. The next night meeting the whole team, 8 overweight bald players, she was shy. Look at her, sure she’s attractive. He didn’t know if she was gay or straight. Kimberley was incredibly nervous, her former team mates showed up with cases of beer. She looked around at one of them swigging cheap beer with an arm around her girlfriend Claire, and she thought this would be ok. She feared that her past would be erased. She doesn’t look the same and alot is different, but many of her friends feel that she is the same person. Tim is happy and proud of her- Paul was a little awkward and shy, but Kim is very confident. Oprah says it is because she is her authentic self now.

Much of the footage today is from Prodigal Sons, her documentary. She thought that throwing the perfect spiral would cure her. She had her first kiss on the bleachers. She had so many problems figuring out her gender. She’d play games with herself where the penalty would be that she’d have to be a girl for the night. So then she’d run slowly so she would have to be a girl. She had shut alot of this out but she needs to bring it back somehow, it’s half her life. Oprah says so many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable. That could have been Kimberley’s life. She says the number one thing she hears is that transgender people wish that they had done it sooner.

The documentary captures the intense sibling rivalry which has taken a toll. Mark, her older brother was adopted, so he felt a bit of an outsider, He was held back in school so they were always in the same grade. Mark spent his childhood living in the shadow of his highly accomplished younger brother. At 21 he crashed his car and had suffered a traumatic brain injury. He had repeated surgeries, his mood swings got worse, his short-term memory began to fade and he began clinging to the past more and more. Footage shows him ranting and raving about how popular he was in school. Kimberley says she felt like Mark would have given anything to be the man that she would have given anything not to be- they were both haunted by the same ghost. In the studio, Carol says the confrontation ended with a 911 call, it was Christmas Eve and it was not a Christmas Eve to remember. Mark was taken to jail. Oprah asks if prior to the car crash, all the anger and jealousy existed and it got exascerbated by the event. Kim felt the sibling rivalry acutely, Carol was aware or that, it was always present. Carol thought the adoption was part of it, but Mark had his own strengths, but he didnt go in those directions because he single-mindedly wanted to be Paul. Oprah is aware that there are no doubt millions of people feeling like Mark did about this- she asks Carol, do you believe in the bible and how do you reconcile your religious beliefs with your son or daughter? Carols says for her that was never a question- she believed in her child and believed that this child was thoughtful and intelligent and gave so much thought to what was happening. She knew that this decision was painfully arrived at.

When Kimberley began her transition to a woman, she kept it a secret from the whole family. She told her mother but she couldn’t tell her dad. Having been the perfect son, she didn’t want to take the element of vicarious living from her dad. Carol waited one year to tell her husband that their son was now a woman. Carol says that her husband was ill and his health was a real issue, and she wanted to time the news right. There never was a right time but she decided she must tell him. She made appointments for herself to visit a therapist and, on the third visit, her husband came along and she told him. It was really hard. Kimberley says she feels bad that she couldn’t do it herself, what a thing to put on someone else- Carol was juggling the whole extended family. Kimberley wishes that she hadn’t put her mom through so much. She feels its important to talk about this on the program and on the documentary. She hopes that people can come out earlier and earlier in the newer generation. Oprah says with regards to coming out, many people, maybe not transgender but maybe are coming out as gay. Oprah says she got goosebumps earlier when Carol said she believed in her child. Oprah says that’s beautiful, Kimberley and Carol hug.

Kimberley has been dating Claire for ten years. Claire says she feels we are all a little in drag and projecting, and for women that’s feminine. What was striking and attractive to Claire about Kimberley was how comfortable she was with herself, and that to her is feminine, female. Oprah says it’s all about finding what is authentic to yourself. Oprah clarifies that Claire is a lesbian.She then asks if as a lesbian you try and strike a balance between feminine and non-feminine. Claire says she had some gender issues herself , she liked alot of boy things, she may have ovecompensated  so she wasn’t viewed as a lesbian. Oprah asks if she finds that when you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes. All the things you were afraid of, the people you thought would reject you and wouldn’t love you anymore still did and the people who were upset and jealous of you still are. It takes alot of courage to stand up for who you are. Oprah would like to encourage us to watch the movie and to inspire you to dig in and figure out what is holding you back and become the best you can be. Thanks everybody, and take the no-phone pledge. Bye everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth.

Like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz says; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there.

Many transgender people wish that they acted on their gender-change earlier.

So many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable.

When you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The person that everybody wants to be  may not want to be that person; be true to yourself.

Date: February 4th, 2010
File Under: Health, Live your best life

Episode 20: America’s Silent Killer: Oprah and Dr OZ Want To Save Your Life

Oprah has a radical goal- to save million of lives in the next 60 minutes. Diabetes is a ticking time bomb, a silent killer, annihilating 100 African Americans a day. That number may not be alot unless it’s your mother or friend or your family or yourself. It’s time to get out of denial. Dr Oz is here because as a heart surgeon he sees the affects of diabetes daily. Its the fastest growing disease in history 80 million people in America have, or or on the verge of having diabetes. 6 billion are walking around undiagnosed. We spend $174 billion a year on this diease, more than all the  cancers combined or AIDS. The healthcare system will be bankrupt if we don’t do something about diabetes. Believe it or not, the bright side is most diabetes is treatable and preventable and even reversible. Dr Oz is here, his new show is doing great, congratulations. They high five. He says he learned from the best, he was well-taught.

So what is diabetes? Dr Oz wants to be crystal clear that the problem is not just a little bit of sugar. A tortilla in the mouth  goes into the  stomach, the liver takes the nutrients and decides what to do with it, including making sugar. The pancreas is the hero today. The food in the small bowel is washed by the  bile and the yellow stuff from the pancreas. The molecules of sugar get absorbed into the body. In the bloodstream, the sugar is traveling, particles of insulin are being released from the pancreas to attract the sugar. The pancreas is trying to take the sugar and funnel it from the blood into the tissues- to the brain so we can think, to our muscles so we can exercise. Simple carbohydrates are sugars. If you have too much sugar going in, we store it in our belly, just as our ancestors did to survive. Belly fat gets ponderously large and poisins the insulin so sugar can’t get out the bloodstream. This is a problem because in the heart the blood vessels are delicate and the sugar is like glass shards scraping and making holes.As our body scars and attempts to heals, it breaks and ruptures. The open surface forms a scab like anywhere else in your body. The scab in the artery gets larger and larger and kaboom. Right there, you saw the leading cause of death in diabetics. A diabetic will most likely die from a heart attack. 1/4 of the patients he operates on every day has diabetes. Oprah summarises that too much sugar is like shards of glass inside the body. We scar and heal which equals hardening of the arteries. It influences all of our organs: a scarred kidney gives us kidney failure. An image of a healthy kidney is shown next to a diabetic kidney which has shrivelled. The blood vessels in the eye are very fragile. A diabetic eye has cracked blood vessels, which means that you get dark patches in your vision. This is not just a little bit of sugar.

Oprah has family members who takes insulin every day. Dr Oz wants us to feel diabetes, not just think it. He took a film crew to New York Presbyterian Hospital to see Laureen who is on insulin, who has had diabetes for much of her life. Diabetes ravaged Laureen kidneys so much so that by age 34 she needed a transplant. Just 7 years later, diabetes destroyed that kidney too. 3 days a week, she is on dialysis for 3 hours a day to clean her blood. Now at age 44, diabetes has taken a further toll on her body.  She ended up with lesions on her feet; she has lost half one leg and half a foot. What would she say to people who say diabetes is just sugar? Take care of yourself- she thought insulin would compensate for eating soda and cake. She used to be very active and was a nurse. She says people dont take it seriously when they feel ok. The day it hits you, it’s too late. The day she saw the dialysis machines she thought this is not me, it can’t be happening. She cries.  Dr Oz says shes a brave woman. Looking at her body, Laureen says its so shocking to see her foot and leg gone.

86,000 amputations are done every year as a result of diabetes. Imagine that your blood vessels look like a straw. The diabetes causes scars on the inside which twist up the blood vessels, which shuts off both the blood flow and the protective white blood cells so you get infections. Often the first problem is a toe infection- diabetics can’t feel it and they loose their foot. People change their lives based on what they feel, not what they know. So Feel Laureen. She is Type 1, which is genetic, 10% of diabetes is Type 1.  Type 2 is a lifestyle issues- the belly fat has poisoned the insulin. This is a perfect storm. When you go to get food, you get sugar which is like crack cocaine. He says he  is going to blow our mind He shows the 150lbs of sugar that each of us eats a year. Their generation ate 40lb of sugar less. That is shocking, says Oprah.

This show should be a big wake-up call. Everyone in the audience today has diabetes, pre-diabetes, or a family member living with diabetes. Oprah brought Dr Oz out of surgery and off his own show to be here today to give the brutal facts. $175 billion a year in diabetes spending will be doubled in 25 years. We will have to take care of a good portion of the population.

Warning signs:

  • Constant thirst
  • Frequent urination
  • Non-healing infections
  • Tingling toes
  • Blurred vision

Your whole immune system is depressed. Those symptoms will be there with Type 1 or 2. Type 1 can not be prevented, but it can be treated. Up to 90% of Type 2 can be reversed.

Risk Factors:

  • Belly Fat
  • Sedentary Lifestyle
  • Family History
  • Smoking

Dr Oz can walk around and see people with big bellies who have diabetes. It is not surprising. Exercise can help reverse diabetes. A little bit of fat is hard to reverse. Oprah asks if only overweight people are at risk. If the average height woman is 150lbs, has an increased risk of diabetes. If your waist size is more than half your height, you’ll have an increased risk of diabetes. Oprah is 5′ 6 1/2″ so her height is 66 1/2″ so 33 1/4″ is the limit for her waist size. We are not talking about really big people. And please women of America. guys never change their belt size after age 40, they just let it hang over the top, so you have to measure.

Oprah asks why is diabetes running rampant in the African American community? The big reason is because the cheapest calories are those with no nutrients. Every day on his show, Dr OZ gives Doctor’s Orders, and  when the guidelines were to eat 100% wholegrain foods, because that’ll prevent the problem, people wrote in by the thousands saying that they couldn’t find those foods in their neighborhoods. We need to change that. Find it and demand it. Forget the cheap foods, get food without a label. The Hispanic community is also hard hit. We have to eat better. Essentially, we must avoid the white foods, the processed foods. White flour, pasta, rice, bread, sugar… white bread is like a candy bar for your stomach. Oprah reads an email letter from 33 year old Rochelle- she lost her mom due to a massive stroke and renal failure brought on by diabetes and high blood pressure. She was only 53, and spent most of her life as a nurse. Rochelle is concerned for the health of her church, over half of the members have diabetes; they fellowship over food. Breakfast is fried chicken, french fries, pork chops and maybe a hamburger, after evening service they serve sweets. They are slowly killing themselves and they need change.

Oprah thanks Rochelle for the email which prompted the show. Dr Ian Smith is a Harvard Educated  diet and health expert, author of the 50 Million Pound Challenge, where he is mobilising the country to loose weight and get healthy. He went to Rochelle’s church to try and light a fire to mobilise change. African Americans tip the scale in record numbers- they are twice as likely to have  Type 2 diabetes, twice as likely to have kidney disease, twice as likely to have  amputations, and twice as likely to die from diabetes. A familiar scene in churches across the US, the congregation are enjoying their usual meal. Dr Ian asks who in the audience has or knows someone with diabetes- everyone raises their hand.Walgreens is going to test all of their blood sugar levels- it’s a simple test. Dottie is living with diabetes and Dr Ian says she’s a walking ticking time bomb. He is alarmed by the numbers and the denial. The members with diabetes are on a crash course for disaster.

Oprah asks him how it was, he says it was unbelievable. African Americans have obesity in record numbers- its a habitual thing. Habits are tough to break, especially around food. They take a heels in the ground approach that they will not be told what to eat and how to change, This disease comes down to attitude. So 24 church ladies from Dayton Ohio are in the audience in their hats. Dee Dee was told she could end up in a diabetic coma- she thought about what he said and she’ll do better with exercise, diet and medicine. As a diabetic she should test herself daily, Dee Dee hadn’t tested for a month.  Nell who cooks the food has diabetes, as does her husband. Her mother and sister died of diabetes so she has decided to take it seriously after the wake up call. Typically African Americans are diagnosed with the disease at later stages which means that the reversibility is more difficult to happen. You can almost always reverse it, but not the side effects such as heart disease. Outreach is so important, Dr Oz says if we can figure out the people who don’t know they have it yet, we can answer Laureen’s wish. Dr Ian’s goal is for people to do something now. There’s a sense of resignation that the family history is there, and a lack of urgency unlike in say pancreatic or brain cancer. Diabetes can take years to kill you. People believe they can change in the future and be ok. By the time they get diagnosed, it’s too late. Dr Oz says that taking insulin is not the solution. The pills paint over the cracks, but you don’t want the cracks to form. We must address the foods that are stopping us from putting one foot n front of the other, which is something we have always done.

Fitness expert Bob Greene, author of Best Life Diet: Managaing Diabetes and Pre-Diabetes says its up to us to save our own lives. His parents have it so he is a candidate, but by changing factors of lifestyle, you can change your risk. Exercise is huge, it’s hard to tell people to eat right and it’s harder to get people to exercise. We dont move in our culture as we used to. Bob was charged with getting the church ladies to move. They do not wear pants, ever, so they wear skirts on the treadmill. In footage, only a few say that they exercise regularly. 30 minutes a day of exercise, lowers your risk of diabetes by 60%. Exercise is not negociable. If they do it consistently they’ll drop weight which will lower their risk. He shows them strength training. They have to do cardio every day. They are lowering their blood sugar by exercising. After exercising, one of the congregation walked back rather than take a wheelchair as previously. The group craved the information. Bob says some are really ready to make the commitment, some will need more emotional homework to make the commitment.

Bob gave them a sermon on sugar after the exercise- hidden sugar is the big problem, well find it in ranch dressing, and each plate had about 4 servings of dressing. Take soda off the table, there is 10 tsp of sugar in each can. Women who drink one can of soda a day, increase their risk of type 2 diabetes by 83%. 2 tablespoons of ketchup has 2 teaspoons sugar in it. The doughnuts can each have 13 teaspoons of sugar in each.

Dr Oz says cut out the white foods. Dr Ian says cut out fried foods- bake, grill, steam. Bob’s book is all about food choices and exercise and changing behaviour, unwiring ourselves from how we grew up. He has a specially designed website that Oprah actually went  to with all the information, everyone can get a free 30 day trial at thebestlife.com.

After Oprah’s former chef, Art Smith, was diagnosed with diabetes, ten months ago, he’s lost 85lbs and now no longer needs to take his diabetes medication. His diagnosis horrified him- his parents have diabetes. His first goal was to loose 50 lbs, he thought at first he was getting older and couldn’t see as well, he thought he was having a heart attack and he other ailments. Dr Oz measures his waist -it’s 40 inches- which has reversed his diabetes. Without the belly fat, it no longer sends out chemicals to the body saying ignore the insulin.

Bob Greene has great recipes in his book, including fried chicken without frying it. Art says once a week he makes skinless chicken in a multi-grain cereal coating. Greek yogurt is zero fat and has protein, to coat the chicken. Bob’s cheesy cornbread has less calories and sugar than regular, and there is a black-eyed pea salad. We should have legumes, the super-food, 3-4 times a week. Apple cider vinegar drops the glycemic index of any food. The recipes can be found on Oprah.com.

Extra belly fat, thirst, urination means you should get tested. Walgreens is stepping up in a big way- tomorrow from 11-11pm, you can go to any 24 hour clinic and get a free blood screening, or you can call 1-800-Walgreens to set up an appointment. It’s free and easy and you can get tested and help reverse this silent killer. Thank you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

People change their lives based on what they feel, not what they know.

If your waist size is more than half your height, you’ll have an increased risk of diabetes.

The cheapest calories are those with no nutrients- white bread is like a candy bar for your stomach.

It’s hard to tell people to eat right and it’s harder to get people to exercise. Exercise is not negociable.

Stop eating white foods, stop frying foods, do 30 minutes of exercise daily.

VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Women who drink one can of soda a day, increase their risk of type 2 diabetes by 83%.

Date: January 27th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Public Service Announcement, Transformation, Uncategorized

Episode 14: Before You Grocery Shop Again… Food 101, With Michael Pollan

Oprah will turn 56 in a couple of days and she still loves it when she learns something new, and she recently saw an eye-opening, fascinating documentary, Food, Inc. It makes you think, like any good documentary- we all have to start paying more attention to what we put into our bodies and look at the bigger picture beyond carbs, fat, calories etc. Do you know where your food comes from? In the studio they do a quiz. The most consumed meat in the world is not beef as the audience guessed, but rather goat. Goat is lower in fat and cholestorol than chicken and has more protein than beef. In Chicago in midwinter, grapes travel further than tomatoes or mushrooms to arrive in the grocery store. Children today drink twice as much soda as milk. Americans take 3 million pounds of antibiotics and livestock take 28 million pounds, which is why they are doing today’s show.

An extract from Food, Inc: The way we eat has changed more in the last 50 years than the last ten thousand. But the image we are sold is still the old rural America, a view of farmers, 30’s farmhouses, fields and picket fences. Food in our supermarkets  (average 47,000 products) has become seasonless, tomatoes  are available all year rounds. There are no longer bones in the meat aisle. If you follow the food chain back from the shrink-wrapped meat you have a very different reality. In the 70’s the top 5 beef packers controlled 25% of the market, now the top 45 control over 80% of the market. A handful of companies have changed what we eat and how we make our food. Modern agriculture is about  making  things faster and bigger and fatter and cheaper, nobody is thinking about the ecological health of the whole system.

Oprah says that some food industry organizations are saying that the film Food, Inc is biased and misleading but that we can make up our own minds, because we live in America. Isn’t that wonderful? For Oprah it boils down to making more conscious food decisions. Oprah recommends we watch it for ourselves and make our  own decisions.

An extract from Food, Inc: Birds are raised and slaughtered in half the time they were 50 years ago and they’re now twice as big. People like white meat so chicken’s have been re-engineered to have bigger breasts. A farmer asks why you would raise a chicken in 3 months when you could do it in 49 days? More money in your pocket, The chickens never see sunlight. In the chicken house there is dust and feces everywhere, it is an assembly line with mass production. With the rapid growth of a chicken from a chick to fully grown in 7 weeks, alot of the internal organs and bones can’t keep up with the rate of growth, so many of the chickens can only take a few steps and then they fall down. Th intensive production systems produce alot of food on a small amount of land at an affordable price.

Oprah says after seeing the film she had to spread the message. Michael Pollan award-winning journalist and 4-times bestseller author is one of the foremost authorities on food in the world. Pollan says we re-engineered the bird- it is a great achievement in one way, it is now the cheap meat- the reason is breeding, diet, antibiotics and our willingness to tolerate this feedlot system. There is a price to be paid for the shortened lifespan of a chicken, and the price is antibiotics. If we give so many to the animals, they will no longer work for the people and we see alot of antibiotic resistant germs coming out of feed lots. Cheap food is great, and we have to acknowledge the achievement, but also the cost. Oprah asks how we feed America without mass-producing food- it’s the American way. Americans have done a good job of driving down food prices; we spend 9.5% of our income on food, the smallest percentage in the world. It’s hard to  imagine we can make food production fair, humane and sustainable without increasing prices. Can we figure out how to mass-produce sustainable food? We don’t know exactly how yet but we can figure out how to do it if we can re-engineer a chicken.

Oprah asks how the Western diet relates to the rest of the world. It’s a confused treacherous landscape where cereal promises better focus in the classroom and a healthy heart. Most of what is in the supermarket is not “food”, it is an edible food-like substance. The western diet was invented about 100 years ago- lots of everything- processed meat, sugar, additives, added fat- except fruits, vegetables and whole grains. In other parts of the world people are healthy eating seal blubber or cow’s blood. Before the Western diet, people did not suffer from Type 2 diabetes, heart disease obesity etc. It’s not about fat or carbs but whole foods. The Inuit diet is very high in fat-75%- seal blubber- but they do not suffer from Type 2 diabetes, heart disease . How is that asks Oprah, we don’t know says Pollan, maybe it is all the Omega 3’s. What we know is that traditional diet eaters are not suffering high rates of chronic diseases. It is about eating minimally processed plants, meats and fungi.

The rules

#2: Dont eat anything your great grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.

#7 avoid food containing ingredients that a third grader couldn’t pronounce

#13 Eat only foods that will eventually rot

One of theories is do you pay for real food or pay for the doctor? In 1960 they paid 18% of national income on food and 5% on healthcare. Today we pay 9% on food and 17% on healthcare. The less we spend on food the more we spend on healthcare. This is not about nutrients- as soon as you demonize one nutrient, another gets a free pass. Look at the low-fat kick we were all on for the last 40 years; everyone got fatter. Fat was taken out of the product and replaced with sugar, so now you can get a fat-free yogurt with more calories than a full-fat yogurt.

# 39 Eat all the junk food you like as long as you cook it yourself.

We shouldn’t deprive ourselves of pleasure, but we should earn it by cooking. Cooking is key to take back control from the corporations, who cannot cook well and use too much salt and so on. Oprah calls for a food revolution because it all boils down to convenience- cheap fast easy. It’s not that hard to eat well if you are willing to put a little more thought, a little more effort and a little more money into it.

Food Inc: With a dollar to spend and two hungry  kids, it is easier to get a  small burger at the drive-through which will fill the kids up more than a single vegetable. Candy and soda are really cheap. Diabetes is a national crisis.

One comment Pollan hears all the time is that people can’t afford to eat well. He says it is amazing that fast food is cheaper than fresh produce. This is because the fast food has been  subsidized through federal agricultural policy, to the tune of $56 billion in ten years and we do nothing to subsidise the fresh produce industry. Corn, soy wheat  have been subsidized. With a dollar to buy as many calories as you can, the snack aisle will get you 1250 calories, versus 250 calories in the produce aisle. The bottom line as seen in the documentary is that we see that the consumer has the biggest voice. We get three votes a day to vote with our forks. If you vote with consciousness, we can change. It is empowering.

Pollan eats everything but is very picky about what he eats. He’ll eat grass-fed beef, which is more expensive but becoming more common- they don’t need antibiotics because cows are meant to eat grass, rather than corn which is what most are bred to eat now. Corn-fed animals grow faster but they get sick. We should choose to eat meat which has been fed well. Oprah says she has nothing to say about the beef industry, she has gone radio-silent. The audience chuckles. Milk, he buys from pastured animals- it has more beta-carotene and omega 3s. He buys alot from farmer’s market. Getting out of the supermarket is a great way to get nearer to the source of our food.  If we eat real food, we don’t need to worry about nutrients. It all boils down to one rule. Eat food, mostly plants, not too much. Oprah reminds us that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that we should watch the film and make up our own minds.

Alicia Silverstone is best known as the actress in the comedy classic Clueless. What you may not know is that she suffered from asthma,insomnia  eczema, and acne, and she was constantly constipated. 12 years ago she revamped her diet and no longer suffers, she sleeps like a baby and has tons of energy. At 33 she feels great and she joins us from satellite by New York. Oprah says she loves Alicia’s book, The Simple Diet, and has got a lot of recipes from it. What did Alicia do? She stopped eating meat and dairy and processed foods and now eats a lot of deliciosus incredible easy food which makes her feel amazing. Her skin changed drastically, her body changed and her energy level changed. She used to have those white marks on her brittle nails and now they are so strong she can’t bend them. She used to feel puffy, then her eyes got really white and she feels amazing. She was on a steak and donut diet and then went cold turkey. She leaned in to it from age 8-21, because she was an animal lover. She would flirt with ideas of vegetarianism. At 21, after seeing some documentaries similar to Food, Inc  showing how the animals were raised, she decied that if she couldn’t eat her dog then she couldn’t eat any other animal species. The kind diet refers to being truly  kind to yourself, letting yourself have your best health, look your best, feel your best and feel your most vital. Being vegan is Alicia’s choice, Oprah tried it for 21 days on a cleanse and missed cheese so much she was dreaming of the cheese in an omelette. She asked if the chickens are treated well and there is music playing, and the cows are happy, is that ok?  Alicia said she’d like to see the happy chicken and cows.

The book is about taking baby steps to become your best self, to flirt with the ideas wherever you are at. Alicia understands wanting and loving cheese- even she sometimes slips up on cheese, usually after wine, and she gets gassy and her skin breaks out. It’s about weighing up the benefits- and the costs. Yes cheese is delicious. but so are all the recipes in the book. Oprah just had something from the book today and last night. But being practical, Oprah doesn’t want to frighten people into trying to give everything up. Alicia says add things in, don’t give things up -things like kale, collard greens and bok choi.

Alicia takes the cameras around the grocery store. Grocery shopping is her most favorite thing in the world, she says that you can flirt with a healthy lifestyle. She picks up vegan fake chicken breasts from the freezer counter. She is eating better food than ever before. Wholegrain rice will change your life. Rice milk and help milk are great. Have greens twice a day. Have maple syrup instead of sugar. Ice cream alternatives- Rice Dream Mud Cakes will change your life.

Alicia heads to her Broadway costar’s house, to cook up some favorites; leek and mushroom and pesto crostinis and the cheesy oozy beany guacamole dip. Oprah has some cooked up meals from the book that she says are delicious. Treat yourself more kindly because you deserve to feel your best and find your truth. They talk about vegan poop and how fabulous it is- Alicia says she wants to show it to her friend, Oprah just wants to talk about it. It’s effortless, and quick and she’s in and out 2 or 3 times a day.

The average American eats fast food four times  a week. Steve Ells, the man behind Chipotle, wants to change the way fast food is served in the US. Fast food with a conscience. Just because it’s fast doesn’t mean it has to be a fast food experience. Fast food to most means cheap and processed. At Chipotle everything is fast and never frozen, organic and local if possible. 100% of chicken and pork is naturally raised, and 60% of beef is naturally raised.  This year they will serve 70 million pounds of meat. It’s really important both taste wise and enviromentally that the animals are allowed to roam outside. Sustainable food should not be a luxury, it should be an everyday experience.

Oprah welcomes Steve and he tells her to come to Chipotle. In 1993 when he just got out of cooking school, he set up Chipotle to provide seed money for his fancy restaurant but it got really busy. They had a great attention to detaill not usually found in fast food. They keep their standards high by doing a few thing s and teaching people how to cook, and fast. In the beginning it was just about freshness. But he was sourcing a new pork supplier and came across an Iowan pork that was humane and antibiotic free and it tasted great. Looking at pork in confinement, he decided not to base Chipotle on that model. We eat 200lb per person per year of meat- if all our animals were raised outside there would be a trade off- we’d have to eat less meat but it would be better quality.

Amazon.com friends are offering Food Inc for $9.99 with a free digital download. Michael Pollan’s final thoughts are that pioneers like Steve wil help us figure it out. You have to pay a little more and decide  if it’s worth it to you. Think about how your decisions affect you and your children and their children. Thank you everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Modern agriculture is about making things faster and bigger and fatter and cheaper, nobody is thinking about the ecological health of the whole system.

We can make up our own minds about these issues, because we live in America. Isn’t that wonderful?

Most of what is in the supermarket is not “food”, it is an edible food-like substance.

Consider being truly  kind to yourself, letting yourself have your best health, look your best, feel your best and feel your most vital.

Vegan poop is effortless, quick and fabulous enough to consider sharing it with your friends.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Eat food, mostly plants, not too much

Date: January 15th, 2010
File Under: Entertainment, Live your best life, Tragedy
1 comment

Episode 6: Oprah Fridays Live

Oprah is live in Chicago and is deeply saddened by the catastrophic loss in Haiti. CNN’s Anderson Cooper was one of the first journalists on the scene, he joins us now.

Anderson Cooper says that each day is its own kind of horror- there is desperation fear, frustration, and aftershocks- after which you hear people screaming and screaming. People can’t go back to their houses, so are crammed into public spaces like parks. Even seasoned journalists like Anderson Cooper have never seen anything like this. The hospitals and clinics are utterly overwhelmed- people are dying stupid unnecessary deaths which should not be happening. You can die of a broken leg with an open wound because there are no antibiotics which cost pennies. The cemetries are utterly overwhelmed, there is nowhere to put all the bodies. They are opening old crypts and shoving in bodies. The dead are just going to disappear, there are no photographs, no records. No one will know where there relatives are or where they can grieve.

Oprah says she heard a mass grave was dug for 7000 people; Anderson says he hadn’t seen that. He is trying to keep everything very factual, to only report what he or another CNN correspondent has actually seen as their is so much hysteria with so many rumors spreading. Oprah recounts some of the footage on the 360 show. He believes some people may still be trapped alive, and that every minute counts. There is essentially no government to rely on in Haiti- the international rescue workers are a remarkable sight. The heroes here are the Haitian people, everyone is banding together to dig through the rubble with their barehands. Oprah reiterates that this is unbelievable suffering for an already troubled people. The best thing to do is to step up and give to the Red Cross. Thanks to Anderson Cooper.

Last night Stedman and Oprah went to a movie theatre for the first time since Dances With Wolves. Wowee Kazowee, was Avatar the best thing. In four weeks Avatar is the highest grossing movie, after Titanic. Director James Cameron is the man behind the film, he is a visionary genius. Every second of this 3 hour film came from his own imagination. He had a team of 3000 people and 10000 computers. For four years they worked around the clock on this movie.

They say I see you in Na’vi. Oprah says this is a Sidney Poitier moment- when she was ten she saw him receive an Academy Award and Oprah thought if he can do that what can she do. She felt that way this morning. Oprah asks if he is spiritual and Cameron says he probably is. The environmental message and the sense that we are all connected is the basis for the film. Oprah says that all the energy and good karma of the film will come back to him- with lots of money- to do so much good in the world. This is the message Oprah sees over and over in her life; we all want to be seen, to be really seen, to be understood.

This movie connects with so many people, especially women – on opening night 78% of the audience were male; now it is split 50-50. The idea for the film came from his love of nature, which he has had since he was a child. As a scuba diver he became aware of nature’s imagination. The story communcicates with people, especially women. There’s a fine line between cliché and archetype. The writing came out in a gush. A botanist designed and labelled every plant, and a linguist made a language so that there is a common accent and a common language. Cameron only knows the lines in the movie, can’t say wowie kazowie in Na’vi.

Normally he can’t watch his movies, but with this one he can still marvel at the effects, the flying scenes, as he didn’t create them. Normally Oprah watches movies at Harpo studio, last night they actually went to a movie theatre. After doing this film, Cameron has a different view of trees. They both talk of mourning trees when they fall down. As the film makes money they will make a sequel. Oprah shows images of herself as an Avatar. She asks if he’s difficult to work with- he invites her to act in the next one and find out. He says he is intense and has energy- he only and works for 16-18 hours a day. He took a half day off with the swine flu. He did not nail cell phones to the wall, he says you have to use a screw gun otherwise it is too messy. His idea of fun is hanging out with the kids and playing lego, doing science projects, just hanging out with the family. Or going to the desert and playing on dirt bikes or going scuba diving. They are on cloud nine about the response to the film, it is a worldwide success. It may knock Titanic off the top spot. Oprah wishes him continued success and tells everyone to go see the movie.

Lady Gaga is the hottest thing in music. In 15 months: 8 million records sold, 6 Grammy nominations and the first artist in history to have 4 number 1 hits on her debut album. Here she is, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga comes onstage with her troupe of dancers. The crowd stand and clap/ dance. The performance over, the crowd applaud. Born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, she had a strict Catholic upbringing, with a privileged NY background- Paris Hilton was her classmate. She likes being called Gaga. She can’t believe her life right now, she can’t believe all her fans, how lucky she is. She has always been a really creative visual person which not everyone knows. She wanted to paint herself blue but now Avatar came out. The name comes from Radio Gaga the Queen song. The first time she performed onstage, her father thought she was nuts. The shock art visual art performances have meaning, the VMA performance was about Diana and the media and Gaga’s relationship with Diana. Looking at her outfits she explains that they are all considered, they all have meaning; the Kermit dress speaks of how she doesn’t wear fur, meeting the Queen she wore a latex dress homage to the Queen.

She wakes up in the morning and spends the whole day planning creatively. Its all about being provocative, but being true to her vision. She spends the day arguing with the House of Gaga about what she wants to do. She says she should be able to bleed out on daytime TV if she wants. She says her work is about being true to herself and commenting on the crazy media-saturated world in which we live.
We see a backstage view of her life, her vision. All of the songs have an outfit to go with them. She show us the infamous disco bra she made herself. She says she dresses the same onstage and off. She is bossy and spends hours on the phone getting her dream show perfect. They do a prayer before the show which ends with “Joanne” her aunt who died whom she believes is on the stage with her every night.

Oprah says it looks like the most fun in the world but she was just talking to Gaga who was saying that her life is isolated, her friends are her fans. She is removed from the celebrity world. Gaga wants to say that there is Ghandi and there is Oprah, and Oprah is an amazing woman, and we really love her. We must remember that there is nothing more inportant than what is happening than Haiti. Gaga grew up in NY during 9/11 and always felt that people didn’t understand what young people were going through. All proceeds from the Monster Ball ticket sales on the 24th January and all merchandise sold on that day goes to help Haiti. Oprah’s job is to continue to talk about this in the coming weeks so we don’t forget the suffering.

Gaga is a secret foodie. Fried chicken this morning helped her find her soul, so she had a renewed soul to be on Oprah. Gaga wants people to free themselves, celebrate who they are and celebrate what they dislike about themselves. Be good to your parents, be good to yourself. she loves her fans and wants to look in their beautiful eyes. It’s about what makes you feel good. She has made some heartbeat headphones and everyone is going home with a pair of Lady Gaga headphones. Thanks everyone

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Every day since the earthquake in Haiti brings it’s own kind of horror

The heroes here are the people of Haiti

There is a fine line between cliché and archetype

Be provocative but true to your vision

Be good to your parents, be good to yourself, celebrate yourself

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Be good to your parents, be good to yourself, celebrate yourself, go see Avatar
Date: January 12th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Makeover

Episode 3: From 52, Feeling Frumpy to Fabulous! Look Great at Every Age Makeovers

Age-defying transformations… She is the force behind two of the highest grossing movies ever, she is married to Tom Hanks and always looks great. Rita Wilson is a Hollywood bigwig in her own right, she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mama Mia. For the past three years this down to earth fashionista has been writing a column for Harper’s Bazaar. Rita Wilson is the girlfriend you wish you have, please welcome her to the studio.

Rita is happy to be here. She always loved fashion, even as a kid but when she was 14 she was discovered and started modelling for Harper’s Bazaar. That is just a coincidence , or maybe it was meant to be. Her mom sewed everything for them growing up;  they picked  the patterns, colors, styles, and fabrics. Rita developed her own style through style and error. In a montage of her most memorable mishaps we see the pouf dress, to which Rita says “pouf be gone”. In the 80’s she had an assymetrical hairdo which was Flock of Seagulls meets Miami Vice. Oprah says that  the 80’s were tough on us all.

Rita made a booklet telling you to be true to your own style. Oprah asks how do you know what your own style is? Rita asks, what feels good on you? Oprah says pajamas. Rita says this means comfort. Rita has some style tips to share:

Style Tip: Be true to your own personal sense of style (if you don’t know what it is ask a girlfriend. Take descriptive words- artistis, sexy- and translate them to your clothes)

42 year old Cindy has recently lost 1oo lbs. But she dresses like she’s 62;  her clothes range in size from 6 to 22W. Her style is frumpy and hiding things, she has no idea what her style is. She has twin boys who were born prematurely at 29 weeks- they were so needy she put herself on hold. Cindy comes to the studio, Rita says she’s teeny tiny. We see a glimpse of the hairstylist and make-up artist- Cindy is told she needs to loose weight on her hair. Cindy walks onstage through a Before Picture. She’s wearing a black top, printed  pencil skirt and heels.  The crowd applauds, Oprah says she couldn’t have recognised her. The crowd applauds her weightloss. She has a tiny waist, Rita says she can loose more weight by giving away her clothes. Pre-makeover, she felt 62, now she feels like a new woman, 28 maybe. Rita loves that. Oprah asks what she thought of her reflection in the mirror? It took a while for the look to grow on her, but it grew on her fast.

As Rita went into her 50’s she reconsidered wearing a little black dress, but what she has retired is  jeans with a muffin top, super tight jeans, bum crack, cleavage, anything too tight, 4″ heels, anything too fashionable. She has grown into comfort- she has platform heels which are cheater’s heels; she can wear them to walk around, but not all day, and she won’t be jogging in them.

Stacy is a 35 year old mom of two. She says she dresses like an old lady. Her husband describes her as looking  old, conservative and out of style. She wears her hair in a bun for convenience. She meets Rita at Macy’s  for retail therapy. She brings her mom jeans, 80’s power suits and a retirement home workout suit. Here Stacy is now in a little black dress, jewelry and heels. Stacy’s husband is very happy, wow he says. Rita says she looks spectacular. She’s going back to work, has lost 30lbs and needs a new professional look. The little dress is not the professional look, but she could pair parts of the outfit with other items. Her husband says she’s hot, Stacey wipes away tears. She has now lost her 90’s suits, and her bun is let-down. Stacey thinks she looks amazing, she didn’t know this was there. Oprah asks if she knew it was there, and Stacy  said said no. Collier Strong from L’oreal used  only 3 products for her look- she’s stopped wearing makeup since staying home with kids. She should go out tonight with her husband.

If you are sitting at home in sweats with your hair in a bun or ponytail, there is hope. Sweats can look stylish, even if you are home and no-one can see  you, you should look good. You can get stuck but you must always ask your friends if you need a haircut, a new color etc.

Style Tip: Follow the 1 year rule. If you are not wearing it, give it away.

Angela has a headful of grey hair and is being asked out by men old enough to be grandfathers. She turned grey at 18 and last year finally stopped dying her hair. She thought it would be liberating but instead she feels she’s dying inside. She is 45 years old but feels old. She has given up short skirts, dresses, boots; she feels old. She has alot of clothes but doesn’t know how to put them together. Joe and Jesse are style gurus. They come to your closet and are unforgiving. Without Jesse, you need a friend to help you be ruthless, to help you let go. Angela went to Oscar Blandi for a colour “tweak”. Angela comes out in a dress, heeled boots, blond hair. She already owned these clothes- some still had tags on. Jesse and Joe helped her put everything together. Now she looks like a “hot blond”. Nora Ephron says hair color is our greatest invention. Oprah says we should use it. Angela says she tried going grey and she won’t be going back.

Laura Brown from Harper’s Bazaar offers advice for dressing for every decade.

  • In your 30’s, shapeless clothes are your enemy. You should showcase your figure while you can. Form-fitting is good.  Avoid being too trendy, only one trendy piece per outfit. Make a nod to the trends but don’t let them take over your life.
  • In your 40’s, take the part of your body you are most proud of and showcase it.

The Harper’s Bazaar Fabulous at Every Age book is out now. Whenever you figure out your style, that’s good. We’re not our parent’s generation anymore, we can wear our hair long if we like. Rita has been doing makeovers in her head for years. Doing makeovers in real life is great, it is like the little dolls with magnets.

There are 4 things Rita Wilson says everyone needs in her wardrobe, regardless of age:

  • Black legging or black jean legging
  • Black boot or black shoe boot
  • Jacket
  • Scarf

Models demonstrate how women of any age can pull this look off. In your 30’s there can be bling, sparkles. In your 40’s you should have a fitted blazer with details. The cotton scarf looks like a necklace. The tunic is longer but sexy black boots are still there. In your 50’s, a sweater- scarf is good for on and off wear. It’s a “twofer”, it does double duty. Black jean leggings are comfortable and flattering. Being in your 60’s doesn’t mean that you don’t have style- you can get sexy boots to walk in, a coat and scarf to go for lunch. All the models are comfortable and they all like what they are wearing.

Backstage, Jessie and Joe show Angela in another outfit pulled from her closet, this time with no polka dots or prints. All her own clothes except for the platform shoes and bangles. Its tough to get dressed when you work from home “Get cute for you!” they all say and Oprah says shop in your own closet.

52 year old frumpola coming up…

Laura Brown from Harper’s Bazaar offers more advice for dressing for every decade.

  • In your 50’s do not steal your daughters clothes. You can wear a great blouse and have classic outfits.
  • In your 60’s do not throw in the towel. Do not use clothes to cover yourself up. You shoud look beautiul and wear jewelry.
  • The biggest mistake people make is comfort.

Tamara felt fabulous at 40 but at 52 she feels frumpy. Her husband says most of her clothes are awful. Going through her closet, she says she’s stuck in a timewarp, she has clothes from high school. She lives in cargo pants, skorts, and  has a sun hat that her husband hates. Her last hair cut was by her husband around 8 months ago. Oprah says “Thats a wower” Tamara comes out- artistic, sexy and feminine are her three descriptive words. Rita put her in stretch jeans, new glasses and she has new blonde, wavy California-girl hair. She didn’t like the tailored look. Her husband says she loks stunning, Tamara cries because it’s like bringing who she is forward, it was an incredible experience; hugs all round.

Rita’s secret weapon for hair colour- a little pen by Oscar to cover grey, which fills in your roots for a couple of weeks before you get your hair done.

All of Rita’s tips are in a handy booklet free for the audience or downloadable on Oprah.com

This 67 year old grandmother feels far from sexy. She is an incredible hard worker, she gives gives gives. Laurali puts in 18hours a day. Her daughter says she’s always in sweats, she never gets a chance to dress up. On a normal day, her hair is “yikesy”- if it was up to Laurali she would wear it in elastic bands.

Laurali comes in to the studio in black trousers, short hair, jacket and white blouse. Rita loved working with her. Laurali raised her kids, sent them through private schools, and runs her own business. She wanted to be professional and elegant. Rita dressed her in practical ballet slippers instead of tennis shoes. Everyone says she looks amazing, Laurali thanks everyone including the limousine drivers for the last two days. Daughter say she looks amazing. that the years have disappeared. She  looks like the  mom she grew up emulating.

Rita said she had the best time, Oprah’s team said Rita is the best celebrity they ever worked with, she is one of the girls.Oprah gives thanks to Macy’s and George’s Salon in Chicago. Rita had so much fun.

Style Tip: splurge once a year on new pajamas. Something that looks good on you and is modest.

Rita’s favourites are Cosabella’s; they are expensive but last a long time.Everyone in audience is getting a brand new pair of Cosabella pajama’s (cue wild applause), and everyone at home can get 25% off for the next 24 hours. Thanks to everyone, great job you guys.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

There is always stylistic hope for you, even if you are sitting at home in sweats with your hair in a bun.

You need to identify your style. Think of three words to describe your personality and translate those words to your clothes

Every woman needs a jacket, a scarf, black boots and  black leggings

Dress sexily but age-appropriately; neither too old nor too young

Never, ever let your hair go grey

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Be cute for you! Find your own style! But follow the  rules and never let your hair go grey.

Date: January 11th, 2010
File Under: Aha Moment, Family, Live your best life, Relationships, Transformation

Episode 2: A Family Stripped Down: Peter Walsh Moves In

He’s going to strip them down… it’s a bold experiment to take away everything that is tearing their lives apart- TV’s, Blackberries, take out menus, mess. In seven days this major transformation will change them into the family they want to be- this experiment could change the world for them and, by extension,  everyone.

Seven days with no phone, computer, TV microwave. Expert Perter Walsh is coming in.

Steve and Rhonda have been married for five years,they have a five year old son Drake, and Rhonda’s  fifteen year old son Blake from a previous marriage. By 5.30am Blake has sent 23 texts, Mom is at gym, Blake eats a Pop Tart alone. When Mom returns Drake has already watched an hour of TV. By 9am Ronda is alone in the house and is stressed by the mess which drives her crazy, she shuts the door on it. The laundry downstairs is a disaster. When Blake comes home from school he goes straight to the computer- by now he has sent 119 texts. The family sometimes communicate with him by text. Drake needs to be played with. At 6pm dad is home with takeout. They do use the TV, it is the only family time they get. Mom wants quality time. The kids grow up so fast and she doesn’t want them to only have memories of watching TV.

Watching that recap, Ronda is tired. The audience can relate. Blake texts 7000 -9000 texts per month saying stuff about school. But it does bother him that the family aren’t close. It would be better for Drake if they spent some time together. Sometimes the big brother watches the little brother and the couple go out. If they could re-edit the tape of a day in the life of their family, they’d get up together, maybe make breafast for the kids, be without the mess. And at night they would spend time together- nothing special, just together time. There’s only maybe twice a month that they sit down together. It’s so rushed- they eat then check Facebook, then go. Oprah says that’s exactly what is happening to our world.

As a family they are often in the same room but not communicating with each other. They don’t know where they lost their way, but they should be treating each other the best. Inside their idyllic home, the family are disconnected from each other. They need life organisational expert Peter Walsh. Peter says this family needs to be “stripped down”. Peter says this problem is too common, we believe more is better and our lives full of too much stuff are thus disconnected. Must strip down everything that comes between you and your best life.

This is a seven day challenge to get rid of everything which makes you feel disorganised or disconnected. The family need to give 110% to get everything back together. The family are “in”. The challenge begins right now.

5 rules for the family

1. No cell phones, no texting for the next seven days (“For a week” says Oprah)

2. No computers, email, TV, computer games or iPods. Their only entertainment is to be each other

3. Healthy meals prepared together. Sit together eat together

4. Their house is a mess. Clean it up.

5. A little bit of loving- every day they must hug each of  the others and tell them that they love them

The rules are posted on a billboard outside their house. There will be no cheating because of “the vault”. All their stuff is inside the vault- anything which disconnects the family- microwave, energy drinks, iPods, computers. Peter has taken the liberty of removing every door from the closets. Now the family will go home and has until noon the next day to do Challenges 1 & 2.

1- think of an activity to enjoy together tomorrow.

2. Wash fold and put away all the laundry.

At noon tomorrow, Peter will knock on their door and move in with them. He has no idea where he will sleep. Peter says,”Mom, Dad, I’m looking forward to a very fun week”.

This all happened a week ago. Let’s tune in and see how they did. If this family can be transformed in a week, think what it can do for your family. At noon, Peter arrived and went to the now-spotless laundry room. He was impressed and gave them a new rule. From now on, if they go to the laundry room, they have to go upstairs with more than one thing. Drake has many toys but doesn’t get the attention he wants by being included in the family. Blake needs more patience. Now they are going to tackle the three car garage. Peter’s goal is to park all three cars in there by the end of the day. They sort through all their stuff to see if they need, use or want it- otherwise it goes. In 2 hours they have a truckload of donations and a clean garage. they survive Day 2 but no one has any idea that the next day will be full of breakdowns and breakthroughs.

Oprah asks why the garage stuff plays a role in the disconnection. Peter says if your home does not rise up to meet you, you are missing that element. If you fill your time with technology, it does not mean you are better connected. 1,000 emails or  100,000 texts do not mean that you are connected. At first Blake found it hard to give up texting, but after a while he was pleased to not have his phone. It wasn’t all that hard.

It’s usually/ always the third day that takes you out. Oprah likens this to the cycle of dieting. On the first day you are full of energy and resolve but on day three you get a burger and fries. The messy garage was a metaphor for their life. Oprah says it’s all a metaphor for your life- nasty car, messy bedroom. All the messy stuff in your life is your emotions. Peter says you must strip down the stuff, gadgets and mess which are disconnecting your family.

Day 3 (kids backstage) There is a deeper level of disconnection in this family. Dad doesn’t know if he’s doing a good enough job.  He thinks he’s failing a little bit, not putting the time in. What is the future for him and the kids? Steve is terrified. All he does is work, when he comes home he feels his family is moving in all different directions. He feels a little bit unloved. He has a level of resentment that he is working so hard. There is a guilt that Rhonda feels for not working in corporate america. Is she frightened of another divorce? Is Rhonda worried that this is going to fail?

Back in the studio, Oprah wants to say that she’ll never forget a show from 6,7, or 10 years ago when she had a Aha Moment  - a father said that every good father has a dream for his family. Peter helped Rhonda and Steve break down the walls of guilt, resentment and fear. How did Peter know to do this? So many people are disconnected, he’s seen it over and over. Everyone is so busy and if they are busy then they should be doing good things. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! What your kids want is you, to feel that they are a part of you. The kitchen nourishes the family. Without that nourishment around the table where do they get it? Drake rose to the challenge incredibly. In a week he is more patient and gving. By shifting the focus away from self-parenting, and removing the TV, the dynamic is changed. He had a few tantrums in the beginning, but now they are connected as a family. For kids, TV is a passive interaction but they are in control- to remove that is a shock. It is hard for them to learn that they don’t have control; they need parents to be in control.

How could you do this without the help of Peter Walsh? It’s all about communciation and taking the first step. You have got to get beyond the fear. Where will it go? Will you end up divorced? Tonight, everyone should sit down and have a conversation with their partner. Tell them you are nervous but that you love them and want to be with them, and if that changes you will let them know. This is the basis foundation, so that conversations don’t take us to the extreme place. One date night a month is worth a 100 weeks of vacation at the end of the year. Get together regularly- don’t leave it to catch up at the end of the year. This family tried it and it worked out pretty nicely. Oprah says she can see that and gesticulates at the couple’s intertwined  hands.

The family have survived four days. With Peter, they have come up with new rules.

1. No cell phones, texting, or computer use from 6-9pm.

2. No TV before school or during meals

3. Sunday family breakfast, make a weekly meal plan, eat 3 dinners together  a week

4. Weekly clean up and laundry sort on Saturday mornings

5. Stay with the I love you rules. Plus monthly date night and weekly family night

Within 48 hours the family have to take a road trip to Chicago. They have a kit with  activities and a photo cut-out of Peter stuck on a stick. The road trip was awesome, they followed the new rules and had so much fun. Pancake Peter was with them all the way, in their photos.

The point of this was to spend time together and travel with the new rules. They had to negociate activities the whole family could do. They did three activities, one of which was going to a park. Blake feels awesome, he doesn’t need his phone as much. He is now mindful of Peter’s advice to  ”Be where you are”; not texting. Rhonda lost 4lbs without her energy drink. Oprah invites Peter to live in her house.

Peter summarizes that if you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out. Thanks to everyone, Peter’s new book, “It’s All Too Much” has just been released on DVD.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

The state of your stuff is a metaphor for your life, be it nasty car or messy bedroom

Our lives need to be “stripped down” of all our stuff so that we can re-connect with each other

You should always “Be where you are”

A clean house is a happy house

Communication begins with a conversation

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

If you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out.