Every time a new episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show airs in 2010, we will blog along with it. If you have plenty of time, read the long version. If you are pressed for time, read the “What we learned today” summary. If you are really, really pressed for time, read the Twitter-sized summary.

Archive for category Live your best life

Date: January 12th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Makeover

Episode 3: From 52, Feeling Frumpy to Fabulous! Look Great at Every Age Makeovers

Age-defying transformations… She is the force behind two of the highest grossing movies ever, she is married to Tom Hanks and always looks great. Rita Wilson is a Hollywood bigwig in her own right, she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mama Mia. For the past three years this down to earth fashionista has been writing a column for Harper’s Bazaar. Rita Wilson is the girlfriend you wish you have, please welcome her to the studio.

Rita is happy to be here. She always loved fashion, even as a kid but when she was 14 she was discovered and started modelling for Harper’s Bazaar. That is just a coincidence , or maybe it was meant to be. Her mom sewed everything for them growing up;  they picked  the patterns, colors, styles, and fabrics. Rita developed her own style through style and error. In a montage of her most memorable mishaps we see the pouf dress, to which Rita says “pouf be gone”. In the 80’s she had an assymetrical hairdo which was Flock of Seagulls meets Miami Vice. Oprah says that  the 80’s were tough on us all.

Rita made a booklet telling you to be true to your own style. Oprah asks how do you know what your own style is? Rita asks, what feels good on you? Oprah says pajamas. Rita says this means comfort. Rita has some style tips to share:

Style Tip: Be true to your own personal sense of style (if you don’t know what it is ask a girlfriend. Take descriptive words- artistis, sexy- and translate them to your clothes)

42 year old Cindy has recently lost 1oo lbs. But she dresses like she’s 62;  her clothes range in size from 6 to 22W. Her style is frumpy and hiding things, she has no idea what her style is. She has twin boys who were born prematurely at 29 weeks- they were so needy she put herself on hold. Cindy comes to the studio, Rita says she’s teeny tiny. We see a glimpse of the hairstylist and make-up artist- Cindy is told she needs to loose weight on her hair. Cindy walks onstage through a Before Picture. She’s wearing a black top, printed  pencil skirt and heels.  The crowd applauds, Oprah says she couldn’t have recognised her. The crowd applauds her weightloss. She has a tiny waist, Rita says she can loose more weight by giving away her clothes. Pre-makeover, she felt 62, now she feels like a new woman, 28 maybe. Rita loves that. Oprah asks what she thought of her reflection in the mirror? It took a while for the look to grow on her, but it grew on her fast.

As Rita went into her 50’s she reconsidered wearing a little black dress, but what she has retired is  jeans with a muffin top, super tight jeans, bum crack, cleavage, anything too tight, 4″ heels, anything too fashionable. She has grown into comfort- she has platform heels which are cheater’s heels; she can wear them to walk around, but not all day, and she won’t be jogging in them.

Stacy is a 35 year old mom of two. She says she dresses like an old lady. Her husband describes her as looking  old, conservative and out of style. She wears her hair in a bun for convenience. She meets Rita at Macy’s  for retail therapy. She brings her mom jeans, 80’s power suits and a retirement home workout suit. Here Stacy is now in a little black dress, jewelry and heels. Stacy’s husband is very happy, wow he says. Rita says she looks spectacular. She’s going back to work, has lost 30lbs and needs a new professional look. The little dress is not the professional look, but she could pair parts of the outfit with other items. Her husband says she’s hot, Stacey wipes away tears. She has now lost her 90’s suits, and her bun is let-down. Stacey thinks she looks amazing, she didn’t know this was there. Oprah asks if she knew it was there, and Stacy  said said no. Collier Strong from L’oreal used  only 3 products for her look- she’s stopped wearing makeup since staying home with kids. She should go out tonight with her husband.

If you are sitting at home in sweats with your hair in a bun or ponytail, there is hope. Sweats can look stylish, even if you are home and no-one can see  you, you should look good. You can get stuck but you must always ask your friends if you need a haircut, a new color etc.

Style Tip: Follow the 1 year rule. If you are not wearing it, give it away.

Angela has a headful of grey hair and is being asked out by men old enough to be grandfathers. She turned grey at 18 and last year finally stopped dying her hair. She thought it would be liberating but instead she feels she’s dying inside. She is 45 years old but feels old. She has given up short skirts, dresses, boots; she feels old. She has alot of clothes but doesn’t know how to put them together. Joe and Jesse are style gurus. They come to your closet and are unforgiving. Without Jesse, you need a friend to help you be ruthless, to help you let go. Angela went to Oscar Blandi for a colour “tweak”. Angela comes out in a dress, heeled boots, blond hair. She already owned these clothes- some still had tags on. Jesse and Joe helped her put everything together. Now she looks like a “hot blond”. Nora Ephron says hair color is our greatest invention. Oprah says we should use it. Angela says she tried going grey and she won’t be going back.

Laura Brown from Harper’s Bazaar offers advice for dressing for every decade.

  • In your 30’s, shapeless clothes are your enemy. You should showcase your figure while you can. Form-fitting is good.  Avoid being too trendy, only one trendy piece per outfit. Make a nod to the trends but don’t let them take over your life.
  • In your 40’s, take the part of your body you are most proud of and showcase it.

The Harper’s Bazaar Fabulous at Every Age book is out now. Whenever you figure out your style, that’s good. We’re not our parent’s generation anymore, we can wear our hair long if we like. Rita has been doing makeovers in her head for years. Doing makeovers in real life is great, it is like the little dolls with magnets.

There are 4 things Rita Wilson says everyone needs in her wardrobe, regardless of age:

  • Black legging or black jean legging
  • Black boot or black shoe boot
  • Jacket
  • Scarf

Models demonstrate how women of any age can pull this look off. In your 30’s there can be bling, sparkles. In your 40’s you should have a fitted blazer with details. The cotton scarf looks like a necklace. The tunic is longer but sexy black boots are still there. In your 50’s, a sweater- scarf is good for on and off wear. It’s a “twofer”, it does double duty. Black jean leggings are comfortable and flattering. Being in your 60’s doesn’t mean that you don’t have style- you can get sexy boots to walk in, a coat and scarf to go for lunch. All the models are comfortable and they all like what they are wearing.

Backstage, Jessie and Joe show Angela in another outfit pulled from her closet, this time with no polka dots or prints. All her own clothes except for the platform shoes and bangles. Its tough to get dressed when you work from home “Get cute for you!” they all say and Oprah says shop in your own closet.

52 year old frumpola coming up…

Laura Brown from Harper’s Bazaar offers more advice for dressing for every decade.

  • In your 50’s do not steal your daughters clothes. You can wear a great blouse and have classic outfits.
  • In your 60’s do not throw in the towel. Do not use clothes to cover yourself up. You shoud look beautiul and wear jewelry.
  • The biggest mistake people make is comfort.

Tamara felt fabulous at 40 but at 52 she feels frumpy. Her husband says most of her clothes are awful. Going through her closet, she says she’s stuck in a timewarp, she has clothes from high school. She lives in cargo pants, skorts, and  has a sun hat that her husband hates. Her last hair cut was by her husband around 8 months ago. Oprah says “Thats a wower” Tamara comes out- artistic, sexy and feminine are her three descriptive words. Rita put her in stretch jeans, new glasses and she has new blonde, wavy California-girl hair. She didn’t like the tailored look. Her husband says she loks stunning, Tamara cries because it’s like bringing who she is forward, it was an incredible experience; hugs all round.

Rita’s secret weapon for hair colour- a little pen by Oscar to cover grey, which fills in your roots for a couple of weeks before you get your hair done.

All of Rita’s tips are in a handy booklet free for the audience or downloadable on Oprah.com

This 67 year old grandmother feels far from sexy. She is an incredible hard worker, she gives gives gives. Laurali puts in 18hours a day. Her daughter says she’s always in sweats, she never gets a chance to dress up. On a normal day, her hair is “yikesy”- if it was up to Laurali she would wear it in elastic bands.

Laurali comes in to the studio in black trousers, short hair, jacket and white blouse. Rita loved working with her. Laurali raised her kids, sent them through private schools, and runs her own business. She wanted to be professional and elegant. Rita dressed her in practical ballet slippers instead of tennis shoes. Everyone says she looks amazing, Laurali thanks everyone including the limousine drivers for the last two days. Daughter say she looks amazing. that the years have disappeared. She  looks like the  mom she grew up emulating.

Rita said she had the best time, Oprah’s team said Rita is the best celebrity they ever worked with, she is one of the girls.Oprah gives thanks to Macy’s and George’s Salon in Chicago. Rita had so much fun.

Style Tip: splurge once a year on new pajamas. Something that looks good on you and is modest.

Rita’s favourites are Cosabella’s; they are expensive but last a long time.Everyone in audience is getting a brand new pair of Cosabella pajama’s (cue wild applause), and everyone at home can get 25% off for the next 24 hours. Thanks to everyone, great job you guys.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

There is always stylistic hope for you, even if you are sitting at home in sweats with your hair in a bun.

You need to identify your style. Think of three words to describe your personality and translate those words to your clothes

Every woman needs a jacket, a scarf, black boots and  black leggings

Dress sexily but age-appropriately; neither too old nor too young

Never, ever let your hair go grey

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Be cute for you! Find your own style! But follow the  rules and never let your hair go grey.

Date: January 11th, 2010
File Under: Aha Moment, Family, Live your best life, Relationships, Transformation

Episode 2: A Family Stripped Down: Peter Walsh Moves In

He’s going to strip them down… it’s a bold experiment to take away everything that is tearing their lives apart- TV’s, Blackberries, take out menus, mess. In seven days this major transformation will change them into the family they want to be- this experiment could change the world for them and, by extension,  everyone.

Seven days with no phone, computer, TV microwave. Expert Perter Walsh is coming in.

Steve and Rhonda have been married for five years,they have a five year old son Drake, and Rhonda’s  fifteen year old son Blake from a previous marriage. By 5.30am Blake has sent 23 texts, Mom is at gym, Blake eats a Pop Tart alone. When Mom returns Drake has already watched an hour of TV. By 9am Ronda is alone in the house and is stressed by the mess which drives her crazy, she shuts the door on it. The laundry downstairs is a disaster. When Blake comes home from school he goes straight to the computer- by now he has sent 119 texts. The family sometimes communicate with him by text. Drake needs to be played with. At 6pm dad is home with takeout. They do use the TV, it is the only family time they get. Mom wants quality time. The kids grow up so fast and she doesn’t want them to only have memories of watching TV.

Watching that recap, Ronda is tired. The audience can relate. Blake texts 7000 -9000 texts per month saying stuff about school. But it does bother him that the family aren’t close. It would be better for Drake if they spent some time together. Sometimes the big brother watches the little brother and the couple go out. If they could re-edit the tape of a day in the life of their family, they’d get up together, maybe make breafast for the kids, be without the mess. And at night they would spend time together- nothing special, just together time. There’s only maybe twice a month that they sit down together. It’s so rushed- they eat then check Facebook, then go. Oprah says that’s exactly what is happening to our world.

As a family they are often in the same room but not communicating with each other. They don’t know where they lost their way, but they should be treating each other the best. Inside their idyllic home, the family are disconnected from each other. They need life organisational expert Peter Walsh. Peter says this family needs to be “stripped down”. Peter says this problem is too common, we believe more is better and our lives full of too much stuff are thus disconnected. Must strip down everything that comes between you and your best life.

This is a seven day challenge to get rid of everything which makes you feel disorganised or disconnected. The family need to give 110% to get everything back together. The family are “in”. The challenge begins right now.

5 rules for the family

1. No cell phones, no texting for the next seven days (“For a week” says Oprah)

2. No computers, email, TV, computer games or iPods. Their only entertainment is to be each other

3. Healthy meals prepared together. Sit together eat together

4. Their house is a mess. Clean it up.

5. A little bit of loving- every day they must hug each of  the others and tell them that they love them

The rules are posted on a billboard outside their house. There will be no cheating because of “the vault”. All their stuff is inside the vault- anything which disconnects the family- microwave, energy drinks, iPods, computers. Peter has taken the liberty of removing every door from the closets. Now the family will go home and has until noon the next day to do Challenges 1 & 2.

1- think of an activity to enjoy together tomorrow.

2. Wash fold and put away all the laundry.

At noon tomorrow, Peter will knock on their door and move in with them. He has no idea where he will sleep. Peter says,”Mom, Dad, I’m looking forward to a very fun week”.

This all happened a week ago. Let’s tune in and see how they did. If this family can be transformed in a week, think what it can do for your family. At noon, Peter arrived and went to the now-spotless laundry room. He was impressed and gave them a new rule. From now on, if they go to the laundry room, they have to go upstairs with more than one thing. Drake has many toys but doesn’t get the attention he wants by being included in the family. Blake needs more patience. Now they are going to tackle the three car garage. Peter’s goal is to park all three cars in there by the end of the day. They sort through all their stuff to see if they need, use or want it- otherwise it goes. In 2 hours they have a truckload of donations and a clean garage. they survive Day 2 but no one has any idea that the next day will be full of breakdowns and breakthroughs.

Oprah asks why the garage stuff plays a role in the disconnection. Peter says if your home does not rise up to meet you, you are missing that element. If you fill your time with technology, it does not mean you are better connected. 1,000 emails or  100,000 texts do not mean that you are connected. At first Blake found it hard to give up texting, but after a while he was pleased to not have his phone. It wasn’t all that hard.

It’s usually/ always the third day that takes you out. Oprah likens this to the cycle of dieting. On the first day you are full of energy and resolve but on day three you get a burger and fries. The messy garage was a metaphor for their life. Oprah says it’s all a metaphor for your life- nasty car, messy bedroom. All the messy stuff in your life is your emotions. Peter says you must strip down the stuff, gadgets and mess which are disconnecting your family.

Day 3 (kids backstage) There is a deeper level of disconnection in this family. Dad doesn’t know if he’s doing a good enough job.  He thinks he’s failing a little bit, not putting the time in. What is the future for him and the kids? Steve is terrified. All he does is work, when he comes home he feels his family is moving in all different directions. He feels a little bit unloved. He has a level of resentment that he is working so hard. There is a guilt that Rhonda feels for not working in corporate america. Is she frightened of another divorce? Is Rhonda worried that this is going to fail?

Back in the studio, Oprah wants to say that she’ll never forget a show from 6,7, or 10 years ago when she had a Aha Moment  - a father said that every good father has a dream for his family. Peter helped Rhonda and Steve break down the walls of guilt, resentment and fear. How did Peter know to do this? So many people are disconnected, he’s seen it over and over. Everyone is so busy and if they are busy then they should be doing good things. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! What your kids want is you, to feel that they are a part of you. The kitchen nourishes the family. Without that nourishment around the table where do they get it? Drake rose to the challenge incredibly. In a week he is more patient and gving. By shifting the focus away from self-parenting, and removing the TV, the dynamic is changed. He had a few tantrums in the beginning, but now they are connected as a family. For kids, TV is a passive interaction but they are in control- to remove that is a shock. It is hard for them to learn that they don’t have control; they need parents to be in control.

How could you do this without the help of Peter Walsh? It’s all about communciation and taking the first step. You have got to get beyond the fear. Where will it go? Will you end up divorced? Tonight, everyone should sit down and have a conversation with their partner. Tell them you are nervous but that you love them and want to be with them, and if that changes you will let them know. This is the basis foundation, so that conversations don’t take us to the extreme place. One date night a month is worth a 100 weeks of vacation at the end of the year. Get together regularly- don’t leave it to catch up at the end of the year. This family tried it and it worked out pretty nicely. Oprah says she can see that and gesticulates at the couple’s intertwined  hands.

The family have survived four days. With Peter, they have come up with new rules.

1. No cell phones, texting, or computer use from 6-9pm.

2. No TV before school or during meals

3. Sunday family breakfast, make a weekly meal plan, eat 3 dinners together  a week

4. Weekly clean up and laundry sort on Saturday mornings

5. Stay with the I love you rules. Plus monthly date night and weekly family night

Within 48 hours the family have to take a road trip to Chicago. They have a kit with  activities and a photo cut-out of Peter stuck on a stick. The road trip was awesome, they followed the new rules and had so much fun. Pancake Peter was with them all the way, in their photos.

The point of this was to spend time together and travel with the new rules. They had to negociate activities the whole family could do. They did three activities, one of which was going to a park. Blake feels awesome, he doesn’t need his phone as much. He is now mindful of Peter’s advice to  ”Be where you are”; not texting. Rhonda lost 4lbs without her energy drink. Oprah invites Peter to live in her house.

Peter summarizes that if you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out. Thanks to everyone, Peter’s new book, “It’s All Too Much” has just been released on DVD.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

The state of your stuff is a metaphor for your life, be it nasty car or messy bedroom

Our lives need to be “stripped down” of all our stuff so that we can re-connect with each other

You should always “Be where you are”

A clean house is a happy house

Communication begins with a conversation

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

If you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out.