Every time a new episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show airs in 2010, we will blog along with it. If you have plenty of time, read the long version. If you are pressed for time, read the “What we learned today” summary. If you are really, really pressed for time, read the Twitter-sized summary.

Archive for category Transformation

Date: March 3rd, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment, Transformation

Episode 39: Jessica Simpson is Ready to Go Public

She has been picked apart publicly for her relationships, unflattering clothes and her weight gain and recently had her sexual history splashed across the internet for  all to see. That has been Jessica Simpson’s experience. It seems every move she makes is fodder for sensational headlines.  Last year the pictures of her looking fat in her so called mom jeans caused a media frenzy. During her 18 months relationship with Dallas Cowboys’ Tony Romo the press was relentless and she was blamed whenever he had a bad game. Ex boyfriend John Mayer’s tell-all interview compared sex with her to crack-cocaine.

Jessica says that all of that just about destroyed her, come on out Jessica. They hug. Five years it’s been since she was last on the show. She is doing very good. Oprah says that all the tabloid craziness becomes overwhelming, it has to get to you. Jessica hasn’t allowed herself to ignore it, it’s everywhere. The judging voices were in her head when she went to sleep. Her lowest point was the mom jeans conversation, with people talking about her weight for a whole year. They couldn’t stop talking about it. Oprah says that she is so out of it that she saw the picture and and said she really liked the belt. Oprah asks if the conversation about her weight bothers her- of course it does, says Jessica, it would bother any woman. When we first saw her, Jessica had invited cameras into her marriage with Nick. Oprah asks if she feels that she  brought all the attention on herself? Jessica says that she didnt know what she was signing herself up for, but ultimately it is her responsibility, she didn’t know it would be this harsh. Oprah says that she began to feel for Jessica seeing her on the cover of all the major magazines week after week. Oprah thought there’s an entire industry making money on Jessica. The sad part is when it came out, she didn’t want to sit down and talk about it, she felt guilty in case she made people who were bigger than her feel bad. She didn’t want to feed into it. She loves her curves, she doesn’t want to be a size zero. She doesn’t want to look like her role in Daisy Duke every day. Going through security at the airport getting a pat down, the woman said you’re not really big. Jessica celebrates women of all sizes and thinks we are all beautiful. Oprah thanks her and says that she knows how it is to have your weight talked about. She asks about the Playboy article.

Jessica couldn’t read it, she was so disappointed, sad and discouraged, it wasn’t the John she knew. She’s not angry, well a little bit, they dated 2 years on and off. She doesn’t want people to know how she is in bed- it could have been worse, her phone has been ringing off the hook. Oprah understands that she’s angry, there’s a code between people who have shared intimacies – you shouldn’t share that wth the world. Jessica felt absolutely betrayed, she hopes John gets his life together. He apologised, she didn’t accept it. She’ll let it go.

Oprah says its very difficult to be written about, its very hurtful. Who does Jessica go to- her incredible family, her best friends. Jessica says that all the negative press nearly broke her down. The mom jeans incident sparked the idea for her new VH1 series, The Price of Beauty. With her two best friends, celebrity hairstylist Ken Paves and Cacee Cobb, Jessica hits the road to discover the beauty secrets of women around the world. They  traveled to seven different nations to see what lengths women go to in the name of beauty. In every country, local beauty ambassadors helped them discover unique rituals and traditions. In Japan, Jessica and her friends have fish eating pedicures, where the fish eat the dry skin off your feet explored, and in India, they learned about a detoxifying beverage made of cow urine. In Morocco Jessica became interested in learning more about herself to discover the heart of a woman that makes her beautiful.

Oprah says that beauty is all an illusion, it’s what we says it is, or what others say. In Paris, Jessica met Isabel Caro, a former model who nearly starved herself for fashion. She created a controversy with her naked anorexic 62lb body on billboards, to create awareness of eating disorders. Jessica said this story really hit home. Rosemary, their beauty ambassador, told them how models have become obsessed by someone who has been affected by this. Isabel is trying to overcome anorexia, she tells of the fashion designer who told her to lose 10lbs, and that’s how she ended up anorexic.3 years ago she was in a coma, and when she came out of it, then she decided to start eating little by little. Jessica knows of the pressure when people tell you to be skinny, the effect on Isabel scares Jessica for how it can effect so many people. Isabel is trying to get a law passed stating that you can’t model if you are too skinny. Jessica says that what Isabel is doing right now makes her one of the most beautiful people that they have ever seen.

Oprah say that Jessica was deeply affected- it makes Jessica very emotional. The pressure that the media put on women to be thin and beautiful is so unfair, it’s disgusting. If Jessica can do something to make this better, she will, that’s why she did the show. She has never suffered from an eating disorder, although she has tried every fad diet that there is. Oprah asks her if she minds sharing what size she is?  Jessica says that she is a size 4, well she fluctuates from 4-6. The mom jeans were a size 4. Oprah is outraged that the jeans were a 4. Jessica says that she is 5′3″. The largest that she has been is a size 6. Oprah is visibly distressed that Jessica gets called fat at a size 6. Jessica says that she doesn’t want other people to feel fat if they are a 6 or whatever size they are. Oprah says my lord, size 8 is a goal.

Ken Paves is the king of Hollywood hair and has been on the show a bunch of times. Oprah says that he is the nicest most gentle person. Ken says that he came back from their trip embarrassed and ashamed of the industry that he is in. It has alienated so many people like Jessica who feel like they don’t fit within that idea of beauty. What they learned around the world is to celebrate real women, real beauty. Looking around the studio he says he nearly fell off his chair when he saw the audience who are all examples of real beauty. They marvel at the multi-cultured audience. To watch Jessica grow on the mission and watch her become so ok with herself was the greatest part of the journey. Jessica says that no one else can define beauty but herself, no one’s words, compliments or love can define it, only what she has inside herself. She has finally relaxed and she doesn’t care what people says about her weight because she thinks she looks great. Oprah thinks she looks great too. Oprah guarantees this, this is the way the universe works, it always tests us in many ways to see if we really got the lesson. Next week, Oprah predicts, there will be many more stories to test Jessica and it’s just a test, that’s all it is. Oprah hopes she’s got it because she looks beautiful. Thanks to Jessica and Ken.

Maria from Finland reports about the Finnish sauna which is relaxing and good for the skin. They use lingonberry, peat and honey for their skin. Ouside the sauna it’s 5 degrees fahrenheit in the snow and Maria jumps into the snow in her bikini. Oprah thanks Maria for the beauty secret.

China is growing by leaps and bounds and this is having a big impact on the beauty industry. Lisa Ling travels to Shanghai to reports how the Western influence is defining beauty for girls in China. 30 years ago, the pursuit of beauty was banned. Mao required that every man, woman and child was to dress in masculine, military-style uniforms. Any display of femininity—like long hair, makeup or jewelry—were strictly forbidden. If a woman broke the rules, she faced severe punishment. Five years ago, Vogue magazine launched a Chinese edition. Angelica Cheung, the editor-in-chief, says it’s been a success since the first issue hit stands. They were the first Vogue to actually make a profit in the first year. They stll have to teach the basics of style and explain more, for example they have to explain what the 60’s meant in terms of style.  Angelica says, in the past 10 years, women in this Communist country have started to enjoy all that the beauty industry has had to offer. The beauty industry in China is booming. Go into any store that sells cosmetics or skincare products throughout the country, and it will be packed. In fact, next to tourism, automobiles and real estate, beauty is the fourth-biggest industry in the biggest country in the world.

The Western look is all over the place in Shanghai. They go to the worlds first ever Barbie store- Barbie is skinny, blond, blue eyed with big breasts. They interview a teenager  who says that they can’t change their coloring, but they should follow the look of Barbie as much as they can; they should try. A nine year old and ten year old just bought Barbie’s -they really like the blue eyes. They don’t like Chinese dolls.

Lisa joins Oprah by Skype. Oprah says that the Chinese preference for Western beauty, which disturbs Lisa so much, reminds Oprah of the test many years ago when African American girls always chose white dolls over black. Lisa found it to be disturbing, Barbie is an impossible standard to uphold. Over the past decade, Lisa has traveled to China more than a dozen times, and in that time, she’s seen this beauty boom affect women’s lives dramatically. Lisa says that in the early years, it was so obvious when you would see someone from the mainland because she just didn’t really have any style, it wasn’t important, Lisa says. Even in a group of Caucasians, the Chinese women would flock to her -she looked sort of like them but was dressed differently with make up. they were obssessed with what she was. Now, when you go to China, it is so incredibly modern, and you see some of the most stylish women you would see anywhere. It’s changed remarkably in a very short period of time. Oprah asks if this is a good thing? Lisa thinks what’s happening in China is symbolic of what has happened all over the world. “Is it a good thing when women are completely obsessed with enhancing their look and becoming more beautiful? It’s a hard one to say because we all sort of are. … But is it a little sad? It is, because it has changed so quickly. It’s, I think, always unfortunate to see large groups of people becoming sort of slaves to the whole machine, if you will.”

Arni from Bali demonstrates a beauty ritual she does twice a week- she makes a face mask of honey and banana. She has a frangipani flower, they use the oil for aromatherapy. Oprah could live in Bali right now.

Ten years ago, cosmetic surgery was also banned in China, but today, it’s a multibillion-dollar industry. Lisa took cameras inside Shanghai’s Ninth People’s Hospital, one of the largest in the nation, to meet men and women waiting to get nipped and tucked. In the plastic surgery waiting area, she meets a college student and a woman in her 60s. Both women are there for the same modern trend procedure—eyelid reshaping surgery. They both walked in, met their surgeon for the first time and, in just two hours, were on operating tables. Every year, thousands of people request this popular procedure, which reshapes the smaller Asian eyelid into a larger, more Western shape. Dr. Sun Baoshan, a Chinese plastic surgeon, says he’s seen a dramatic increase in patients over the past few years. They still look Asian at the end, he says. “Four years ago, we had only 30,000 surgeries per year here, but last year we had 40,000 cosmetic surgeries at this hospital alone,” Dr. Sun Baoshan says. “This year, it will be 50,000.”

There are 16 operating rooms on one floor, every room is full, some have two beds. The women who had surgeries will go home with a new face, just like ordering off a menu. Oprah is dazzled by the fullness of the waiting room. Lisa has never seen anything like it- the number of people having surgery is staggering, because the country is so much bigger.  The Chinese have always saved their money and now they are splurging a little to enhance their appearance. Oprah asks her to explain the look of the eyelid after surgery- she has down a show on it before and can’t see what it is that people are trying to achieve. The Asian eye has a layer of fat on it which is removed to give more of a Western-style eyelid. In China the best surgeon charges around $300, in the States it probably costs $3000.

Americans are no strangers to extreme plastic surgery, but while in Shanghai, Lisa learns about a radical new procedure that’s gaining popularity in China. Imagine this —leg lengthening. Height is a sign of status, and oftentimes, it’s a prerequisite for success. Minimum height requirements are not unusual for many jobs, for admission to some colleges, even to land a date. The obsession with height hads fueled a shocking controversial surgery which can help patients grow anywhere from a few inches to a full foot.

At the Shanghai Height Increasing Specialized Institute, Lisa meets Dr. Bai Helong, a Chinese doctor who modernized the leg-lengthening procedure. He says his patients want to be taller for many reasons. China has 1.3 billion people, so getting a job is quite difficult. As a result, a short person not only experiences difficulty in getting a job, but also trouble in their marriage, love life, family, career and many other areas. The patients that Lisa met did not want to have their faces on camera. Jessy, a 27-year-old who’s interested in undergoing the procedure, says she’s willing to take a year off work to grow a few inches. Currently, she’s 5′3”. She wants to be 5′6” or 5′7”. Just being tall makes her feel much confidence she says. She’s always jealous when she sees tall girls walking around. I just want to be just like them.” She is nervous and concerned about the risk and pain, but she thinks she can handle it.

Dr. Bai’s patients go to great lengths to stand a few inches above their competition. Pain is definitely a part of the procedure, which is both horrifying and miraculous, Lisa says. To lengthen the leg, holes are drilled into the leg bone and screws are inserted to stabilize an adjustable leg brace. Then, surgeons carefully saw the leg bone in half below the knee. The braces slowly stretch the bones apart. Over time, Dr. Bai says new bone grows into the gap and increases the person’s height. Tony is a professor who has already grown 2 “. He shows Lisa how he turns the screw in the brace 90 degrees to lengthen the gap. He says some people feel a slight tingling, he feels nothing. Most patients are out of commission for at least six months after the surgery, and others remain in seclusion from friends and family for a full year. At this time, the bulky braces are removed, and the new bone is hard enough to withstand normal activity. Jessy says that the opportunity to grow taller offers the opportunity to perfect herself. Oprah asks Lisa about the extremes we all go to to make ourselves acceptable. Lisa says that the patients she spoke to seem happier and more confident. It costs anywhere from $10,000 to $40,000. No one wanted to be on camera, there is still a stigma attached to the procedure. Oprah likens it to people who have facelifts and claim they had a vacation and a haircut.

Uchenna from Nigeria says that in Nigeria beauty goes along with brains. Hair is a big deal, many have brazilian or Indian hair extensions, she calls it the United Nations of Hair. This is seen in stars such as Beyoncé and Riyhanna, its not about not being Nigerian, but by being influenced by what Global stars are doing. The biggest trend in Nigeria is eating the freshest food that you can find to look fabulous. Uchenna joins Oprah by Skype. Oprah asks if the ideal body type is changing. Yes, it used to be that voluptuous women were the ideal, now women are working out, eating less, they have celebrity workout videos for the first time. Oprah thanks her.

Oprah reads an email from Anthony from New Jersey. When he was texting and driving he crashed into a divider. His entire life flashed before his eyes and he heard Oprah’s voice say I told you so. He thanked Oprah for showing him that there is nothing about him that makes him invisible to the dangers 0f being alive. He’s lucky to be alive. Yes you are, says Oprah. Say yes to the pledge, take the no-phone zone pledge. Thank you everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Jessica Simpson says that the pressure that the media put on women to be thin and beautiful is so unfair, it’s disgusting.

Jessica says that no one else can define beauty but herself, no one’s words, compliments or love can define it, only what she has inside herself.

Oprah guarantees that this is the way the universe works; it always tests us in many ways to see if we really got the lesson.

Barbie is an impossible standard to uphold.

Minimum height requirements are not unusual for many jobs, and some college admissions in China, leading to the controversial leg-lengthening procedure.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Oprah says that beauty is all an illusion, it’s what we says it is, or what others say it is.

Date: February 16th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Makeover, Transformation

Episode 28: Make-Unders: How’d You Get That Way?

Oprah says look around at these pictures of some of our most cherished viewers; mom age 34 and her daughter 16 from a few towns over, Wayne from Taylor Michigan who is clearly stuck in the 80’s and Cindy, God loves teachers, but should she be wearing this to lead our children into the future?, and Dawn… Dawn, Dawn. How did these folks  get this way? She knows we all know someone too overdone, too pooped, too painted. These folks don’t need a make-over, they need a make-under. They brought in the big gun who’s so much fun, with tons of experience toning down, come on in Carson Kressley.

So today they are going to have fun in the spirit of helping people look there best. Dawn is a 44 year old single  mother of two. As a child, Dawn was a girl next door; shy, reserved and not outgoing. High school was really hard, she was told she wasn’t going to make much of herself and it was a sad lonely time for her. At 21 she started to change her look and she started to get attention. She started tanning,  dieting, working out and coming into a different kind of look. She says her look doesn’t match her inside as much as people might think. She is a mother first and foremost. Her kids hate how she looks and she’d really like her son and daughter to be proud of her.

Carson hopped on a plane to Canada, which he says is more of a frozen tundra than Chicago, to knock on Dawn’s door. Oprah loves it when this happens; take a look. Edmonton Alberta in Canada in February, Carson says he’d do anything for Oprah. Dawn answers the door and starts shrieking. She takes him upstairs, and he asks if she’s had implants or if she’s naturally endowed. Dawn says they are natural implants. He says they got really big with silicone and she says yes. He asks about her hair- it is extensions. He asks if she’s had anything else done? She says her lips , botox, eyelash extensions. She was been doing this for way too long, over 20 years. Carson says is she asking who is this person and she says yes. Her daughter is 15 and she doesn’t want her to grow up in the same way. She says her daughter is beautiful and perfect the way she is and that Dawn does not want her daughter attracting the wrong kind of attention. Carson says that is what they should want for Dawn, right? Ok, they can do that. They talk outside her closet. Carson asks if there was a moment where she decided to change herself, her looks? Dawn says in high school she  overheard a guy she liked saying that Dawn was a nice girl but too fat so he would never date her. To this day she remembers that. Carson says wow. Looking in the mirror Dawn sees someone with alot of makeup on, someone that is overdone. Not someone that is really her. She thinks her kids see.. she breaks down… she doesn’t think her kids are happy with what they see. They see someone who is supposed to be a role model for them and they would just like to have a mom like everybody else’s mom.

Oprah says to  Carson that addictions affect people in all ways, and that he thinks Dawn has a beauty addiction. He thinks that a little beauty was good but that Dawn was doing as much as she could to be accepted. Just like a food or drug addiction, you do that to fill the void to make yourself feel better. Carson challenged Dawn to strip it all off and peel it down, not easy to do when you’ve had the same beauty routine forever, for 20 years. She gets up at 6am and she’s ready at 11am; Carson doesn’t do math but that’s a really long time. Oprah is speechless. This addiction was taking her away from her family and her job.

Carson asks if her look is a security blanket. yes, her hair has been a focal point, the little girl inside has always felt overweight and she felt that if she had the hair, then people wouldn’t look at the weight. They agree that’s pretty scary. He asks her to imagine how liberating it will be to get rid of it and not hide behind it. She removes her makeup, she’s nervous. Carson thinks she looks better without it, Dawn says it takes her back to the girl she was in high school. Taking out her hair extensions, they call in a reinforcement for help who says it will probably take 3 hours. Carson hikes up her top to cover her cleavage. Carson leaves her with the rules until they meet in Chicago- no makeup, tanning, bronzer, lipstick, eyeshadow, foundation, no bronzer, no hair extensions, false eyelashes and no outfit that show almost all of her boobs. He asks her to remove her false nails. She says that will be very hard. They hug. He is proud of her. He says they’ll discuss getting her nails back in Chicago. She thanks him.

Dawn’s 2 teenage  children are in the studio with Dawn’s best friend, Wendy. Oprah asks how they’ve felt about their mom’s look all these years? The daughter says its kind of hard because her friends look at their mom and judge- either she’s a porn star or… her brother’s friends think she’s a MILF. It’s been hard for her whole life- Oprah says she’s in for a big surprise. Dawn’ s children have been embarrassed for years. Troy, her son says that his friends at school call her a MILF. Oprah says if you don’t know what that is, then ask your children. The crowd laugh. Carson has been working around the clock with Dawn to set her free from the make-up which binds. The kids and wendy are really ready. Dawn comes out and the crowd go wild. The kids come up on stage and they all hug. Oprah says it’s great. Dawn did what Carson said and walked around stripped down- at first the lack of attention was hard. She’s so used to being looked at and asked if she was a celebrity, it was hard. Oprah says she was used to leading by her boobs, and Dawn laughs and agrees. Dawn says that you get so used to being a certain way that all of a sudden she felt naked that a piece of her was stripped away. She says that may not make sense as she used to walk around almost naked. Oprah says Dawn used to call her extensions her comfort food, and asks how she feels without all the hair. Dawn says it’s so freeing. Wendy says Dawn looks fantastic. Oprah asks if this look reflects who she is- absolutely she feels beautiful, pretty and classy. Oprah says she looks it. Carson explains what he did- Dawn’s look was so extreme- a stripper without a pole, but getting to know her she is a wonderful mother and a kind person. They stripped everything down, she has a great natural beauty. So many people with beauty addictions are hiding and they just wanted to reveal what was there- great bone structure, beautiful eyes, great body and legs. He says that you don’t have to show it all off at once, and this is a look to be proud of. The kids are beaming as much as Dawn is. Oprah says that’s a mom you can take to the PTA and Carson says she’s still a MILF.

34 year old Liz and 16 year old Vanessa are a mother and daughter from  Illinois. Carson stopped by their house a few days ago. He knocks on the door and they hug, Liz squeezes his bum and he says it’s better than a handshake. Carson says its 9.30am and they are done up like they are going to Caesar’s Palace. They say they always are. He says he sees a theme here, as the house is very, um… Liz says Soprano-esque. She does know that she’s a little much, she was a very, very poor child so she knew when she grew up she wanted the best of the best. He asks how long they invest a week in their beauty routine. Liz says alot maybe 20-25 hours a week. Carson says that’s more than he actually works a week. He asks what their friends think of their look. Vanessa’s friends think shes ridiculous and want to scrape off her makeup. her hair takes an hour a day or more based on the size of the look. They both have medium sized hair today; it can go bigger.

Liz and Vanessa haven’t seen each other since the transformation. Their husband/ father is in the audience along with some of their family and friends. Liz comes out and the crowd applaud. Oprah says it’s amazing, that she looks so much younger. Carson says that he told Liz that the photos with the make up make her look 45 not 34, and he says she almost stabbed him with a shoe-horn at that point. The make up was too heavy and ageing. Carson says make up should enhance your features not cover them up, which is aging. Liz feels freed and and is pleased that everyone else liked it as she wan’t sure they would like her this way. Vanessa who is only 16 comes out- and the crowd go crazy. Liz says she’s so pretty. Mom and daughter hug a little and cry a little. Carson and Oprah say it’s 16- young and fresh and dewey. Carson says for Vanessa, who he was calling Gosh Spice, it was about making her look age-appropriate, she’s so gorgeous. The husband/ father  says thethat they look hot, he likes it.

Cindy is a 48 year old mother of 2 and a professor at the University of Missouri. She says that  some of her students and coworkers don’t take her seriously dressed like this. She spends alot of time and money making sure that her hair, makeup and clothes make her look good. She is a professor in the journalism school and some of her colleagues say that some of the conflicts in her classroom may be because she dresses like the students. She likes to dress in unique clothes that you don’t see on everybody else, like this spotty dress where the sleeves join the skirt, which she loves because it’s different. Her favorite dress is a short sparkly number that she can’t understand why other people don’t like it like she does. She has evolved so many times from heavy to thin, she’d dress in the dark because she didn’t like the way she looked. She has kept her weight off for 19 years and her natural state will be interesting to see. Carson says alot of women who lose weight go too far showing off their bodies. Oprah loves CIndy’s biceps, Carson says she has Madonna arms. She comes out and the crowd applaud. Oprah says wow wow wow Professor. Cindy’s mom loves it. Cindy is getting used to it, getting rid of the nails was the hardest- Carson says she had eagle talons before with artwork on them. Oprah wants to talk about artwork nails- Carson is not a fan. Oprah says Cindy lookss fantastic and her students will love this.

Last fall they  had so much fun making over men, you can nominate your scruffy, shaggy-haired man right now on Oprah.com. For a little inspiration, meet Wayne. Wayne is an 80’s guy turned in by his wife. He has 20 sleeveless tie-dye shirts. He’s a software developer by day and a rock n’ roller by night. It takes him forever to blow-dry his hair to get the curl out. Oprah and Carson are speechless. Oprah says that’s why we love America, because there is room for everybody. Patty and her daughter Stephanie are here, and Wayne comes out now. The crowd applaud. Oprah says Wayne who are you? Wayne says he’s trying to figure that out too. Oprah says she couldn’t pick him out of a line-up. His family are stunned. Wayne is not used to it yet, it’s been a thrill, he hasn’t seen himself without facial hair since he was 14 years old. People have been encouraging him, saying his wife is gonna love him, so he’s thinking ok. Carson says Wayne had so many colors in his highlighted hair. He’d tried to hold onto his hair, his youth. Many guys have a Rip Van Winkle Syndrome when they haven’t changed their clothes in 40 years and think they look great like they did in high school. That was 3 decades ago. Carson recommends that men like this go shopping every Presidential election or something. Women are better at updating. Wayne’s family are stunned, he can change his identity, he doesn’t look like the same person. His wife loves it. Carson will be back with the man makeover show in July. Oprah says he is very funny with guys. He says men are his speciality, they are like puppies. Oprah thanks Bloomingdale’s, the Laura Mercier makeup team and Salon Buzz in Chicago.

From your look to your home, many people can use a make-under for their homes. Nate Berkus says edit edit edit. He says that everyone in the entire coutry who doesn’t feel good about themselves buys another trinket, another picture frame, another vase and shoves it on the bookshelf. They think that all gifts should be displayed. Christina wanted help with her mom Lois’ busy overstuffed outdated den. Nate met them in their home in Louisiana. He goes to their home. The den makes him say wow, what is this room? The den, gym,  greenhouse, trophy room and photographs share the space. He says it definitely needs a makeunder. They wanted a sunroom and a den. Nate says that they have the opposite, it feels like winter and death, quite honestly. He thinks there is too  much stuff; the texture of the panelling, the texture of the brick, the busyness of the rug, busy drapery, tons of stuff. He can’t see what he’s looking at and there’s too much furniture to move properly. They sit down, Nate says that they can’t figure out where the camera guys should go as there is too much stuff in the room. He asks what they would feel comfortable editing out- Lois says the table and the bookshelf. Christina says the entertainment center. Nate agrees that we no longer have the big TV’s that once needed such big furniture. He asks Lois if the photographs make her feel closer to her daughters? She says yes, in a sense, as they live so far away. Nate wants to take the focus off everything and on what really matters. He needs their help, which means with all due respect that they won’t help, they have done enough.

Oprah says she thinks that this is so great because everyone wants Nate to come to their house, but that everyone has too much stuff going on and the focus, what rises up to meet you when you walk into a room is important. Nate says that everyone can do that and the mistake so often made is that not everything is important. If a collection of statues are important and all the photos are important, rooms must be edited. It is a maintenance issue. We don’t load up our sink and leave it for 15 years, but people do that with their bookshelves until the Opra Show sends Nate. Oprah says she’s noticed that with photographs, people add and add. You need to edit.

Nate Berkus had 24  hours and a team to get this done. The crew dismantle the den while Christina and Nate pair down the photos, she uses post-its to indicate what can go in storage. In Lowe’s he gets a softer rug and some new curtains that he says are literally perfect. There’s so much going on in the den he will neutralise the space with a light paint color. They cover the brick with panelling and paint it all to get a backdrop. The photos will be reframed to be a focus. He uses paper cutouts to arrange the layout. He says focus the photos on one wall. He moves the bulky electric firplace to a new spot and paints it. He divides off some of the room with a screen which he says is a great idea for multi-purpose rooms. He turns the exercise equipment around and adds a small TV. He says it’s brighter, lighter and understated.

Oprah asks if you can paint over panelling? He says to ask an expert at a paint store as there is a base to go over almost everything. Oprah says that she’d never heard of Lowe’s before Nate started doing these shows but now she uses Lowe’s all the time.  Time for the big reveal- Nate tells Lois and Christina not to open their eyes until he says so. When they do open their eyes, they scream. They say it’s beautiful and pretty and they both have tears in their eyes. They couldn’t have imagined it. He shows them the moved painted fireplace to reorientate the room. He used alot of the same pieces and painted them. Lois says it’s elegant. Nate changed the background to be able to use their furniture. Now it’s calmer to the eyes, lighter and fresher and more like a sunroom. He kept the exercise room, added a TV, and screened it off to take the focus off the exercise equipment. He has edited down the plants and photos which used to go all around the room. Now Lois can really see the pictures and not a whole bunch of clutter. She’s blown away, her daughter is happy. Lois, live in the studio via Skype says the experience has inspired her to edit more rooms in her house, she is thoroughly enjoying it- she and he husband watched the superbowl in the den. She got so pumped up and excited that she decided to light up the walls in her other rooms. Christina says Nate did an excellent job in 24 hours and that he could hone in on what is important to their family was incredible. Oprah thanks Lowe’s.

Recently Nate took the No Phone Zone Pledge and he hasn’t broken it. He didn’t realise he’d have to reschedule his life- he used to call people in the car when he would have no other distractions. Which he sees now was stupid. Oprah won’t talk to anyone on the phone, God forbid someone gets into an accident and says I was on the phone to Oprah. Nate says he’d be seen on the expressway and someone would call Oprah to report him. They both say that they would turn the other person in. They laugh and high-five. Oprah says be like Nate, take the pledge. She then says when Carson comes back he’ll take the pledge. Carson says he lives in New York and calls people on the subway, even though it’s underground and doesn’t really work. Oprah says it’s a commitment to saving lives so we don’t have to keep telling stories about the 6000 people who got killed last year. Take the pledge. Thanks.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Just like a food or drug addiction, a beauty addiction fills the void to make people feel better.

If you don’t know what a MILF is, then ask your children.

Make up should enhance your features not cover them up, which is aging.

A lot of women who lose weight go too far showing off their bodies.

Oprah says we love America, because there is room for everybody.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Too much make-up is aging, too much clutter is messy. Edit, edit,edit.

Date: February 11th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Transformation

Episode 25: The High School Quarterback Who Became A Lesbian

Kimberley Reed was once Paul McKerrow, a high-school quarterback in Montana. He was the starring quarterback, valedictorian, and voted best looking and most likely to succeed. He was the golden boy every guy wanted to be and every girl dreamed of, now he is a woman. She looks like this picture and she’s a lesbian.

Growing up in 70’s Montana,  Paul’s father Lauren was a doctor and mother Carol was a schoolteacher. They adopted Kimberley’s brother, Mark, and probably conceived Paul the day they picked Mark up. A year later, along came another surprise, Tom. It looked like a dream childhood, but appearances can be deceptive. Paul did the things in high school that you were supposed to do, he thought it would make the other crazy idea go away. He began to question his gender identity around first grade. As he grew up, Paul was attracted to girls, but he didn’t feel like a typical high school boy. He dated women, pretty innocently, alot of the times he wanted to be one of the girls. After college he moved to San Francisco, where he first started dressing as a woman. He would segregate restaurants, going to some only as a male and some only as a female. It was crazy to live like that. You can only live a double life for so long. Over the next few years he took it further, and started taking hormones which helped his body feel right, then in his late 20’s he undertook gender reassignment surgery. Paul became Kimberley. Sexual reassembly surgery fashions a vagina from your genitalia, and she had some help with her breasts. She checked into her apartment as a male and left as a female with a new name, drivers license, social security number and passport.

Oprah says that if we dont relate to Kimberley’s story, most of us can admit we have something which holds us back from being all we can be, whether it is weight or a bad relationship. As you hear this story, think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth. Kimberley joins Oprah onstage. Oprah says she is always fascinated by these stories because it’s so hard to imagine not being in the right body. Oprah says she can relate to most issues, but not this one. Kimberley says she found the right body by a process of elimination, she was magnetically drawn to it. She tried to avoid it, to not be weird, to fit in. She started to feel different in about kindergarten or first grade, she wanted to be with the girls but she had to repress it. During her teenage years she wondered if she may be gay, later she tried all the options. In high school she felt that the thing going on which made her different had to be shut down, so she went all out to be a football player, to do all the things that you should do. Becoming a football star was part of the rules. She is glad that she grew up as a boy, but it makes her sad because boys can be strong and independent whereas girls often withdraw and doubt themselves at around age 11 or 12. Oprah interrupts to say that Kimberley can sing that Beyonce song “If I Were A Boy” and mean it. Kimberley doesn’t remember a time when she didn’t have the urge to be female, but she took specific steps towards it around  5h or 6th grade. She had a paper route and she got up very early in the morning and dressed as a girl to deliver the papers.

When Kimberley traveled back to Helena, Montana for her 20th high school reunion, she didn’t know what to expect. Last time her classmates saw her, she was Paul. She says the first part of her life she lived trying to deny that she was a girl, the second part of her life she tried to deny that she was ever a boy, and now she is trying to reconcile the two parts of her life. She is pleased she got the sense of entitlement, license and freedom of boyhood, and wishes girls got that. Oprah says we see that parents treat their kids differently even if they say they don’t treat their male and female children differently. At High School Paul went to the prom and felt awkward, she felt she was trying to play a part but it felt off, like she was putting on an act. She went to college in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is a very conducive place to experiment. She tried to date men as a man, but that didnt feel right, but she did start to know she was attracted to being a female. She lived as a male student in Berkeley, but would drive across the bridge to San Francisco to be a woman. She was an exchange student in Norway, she deliberately went where the other students wouldnt be. She took the train as  far north as she could go and camped  on a fast, awaiting a revelation. She realised she’d been trying to avoid this in so many ways, but the revelation was always there. Oprah says its like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there. Kimberley was waiting for the big revelation, and it was there. That was a big turning point. The movie she has made, Prodigal Sons is interesting, according to Oprah, because it focuses as much on the family dynamic as Kimberley’s gender. Kimberley told her mom, probably later than she should have done. Oprah says she feels parents know but don’t want to see it, especially seeing the feminine side in their sons. Carol in the audience says she saw nothing, not a hint. Kimberley says she hid it well because she was hiding it from herself. Carol doesn’t see hints even looking back with hindsight.

Kimberley travels back to her hometown for her 20 year high school reunion. Oprah says everyone who is worried about going to their highschool reunion, should imagine this. The video footage plays. Kimberely decided to go back for the reunion, this would be the first time that most of her hometown will see her, although they heard a few years ago of her gender change. The party is at the co-captain of the football team’s house, Kimberley, as Paul, was the other captain. She goes to the party and greets her old friends and former dates. One of the women says that all the girls had crushes on her back in high school. There was no adverse reaction at first, but one women says she still doesn’t get the difference between gay, homosexual, lesbian and transgender. Kimberley and her girlfriend patiently explain. Oprah in the studio says, I’m like her, I’m all durr. Joining us on Skype is Paul’s former team mate and best friend, Tim. Tim says that as a friend it’s been a little bit weird, he was protective so didn’t want to say words like weird. It’s surprising that his mother didnt know. When Kim’s dad died, Kim came back, and Tim’s mom told him that Paul is Kim. When his mother told him that Paul is Kim, Tim said what and she repeated herself and they had that exchange about five times. Oprah laughs hysterically. There was another woman named Kim that he’d just seen at Carol’s house who was pregnant and he thought wow Paul really went all the way. Oprah laughs hysterically. Paul was great at everything, she was good at every sport she tried which was one of the sources of sibling rivalry in their household. Tim says they were close friends throughout school and they stayed in touch. The first time they tried to go out for a drink, Kim was too chicken, so Tim went to meet her and Claire. It was a bit surreal to go back to her old house. The next night meeting the whole team, 8 overweight bald players, she was shy. Look at her, sure she’s attractive. He didn’t know if she was gay or straight. Kimberley was incredibly nervous, her former team mates showed up with cases of beer. She looked around at one of them swigging cheap beer with an arm around her girlfriend Claire, and she thought this would be ok. She feared that her past would be erased. She doesn’t look the same and alot is different, but many of her friends feel that she is the same person. Tim is happy and proud of her- Paul was a little awkward and shy, but Kim is very confident. Oprah says it is because she is her authentic self now.

Much of the footage today is from Prodigal Sons, her documentary. She thought that throwing the perfect spiral would cure her. She had her first kiss on the bleachers. She had so many problems figuring out her gender. She’d play games with herself where the penalty would be that she’d have to be a girl for the night. So then she’d run slowly so she would have to be a girl. She had shut alot of this out but she needs to bring it back somehow, it’s half her life. Oprah says so many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable. That could have been Kimberley’s life. She says the number one thing she hears is that transgender people wish that they had done it sooner.

The documentary captures the intense sibling rivalry which has taken a toll. Mark, her older brother was adopted, so he felt a bit of an outsider, He was held back in school so they were always in the same grade. Mark spent his childhood living in the shadow of his highly accomplished younger brother. At 21 he crashed his car and had suffered a traumatic brain injury. He had repeated surgeries, his mood swings got worse, his short-term memory began to fade and he began clinging to the past more and more. Footage shows him ranting and raving about how popular he was in school. Kimberley says she felt like Mark would have given anything to be the man that she would have given anything not to be- they were both haunted by the same ghost. In the studio, Carol says the confrontation ended with a 911 call, it was Christmas Eve and it was not a Christmas Eve to remember. Mark was taken to jail. Oprah asks if prior to the car crash, all the anger and jealousy existed and it got exascerbated by the event. Kim felt the sibling rivalry acutely, Carol was aware or that, it was always present. Carol thought the adoption was part of it, but Mark had his own strengths, but he didnt go in those directions because he single-mindedly wanted to be Paul. Oprah is aware that there are no doubt millions of people feeling like Mark did about this- she asks Carol, do you believe in the bible and how do you reconcile your religious beliefs with your son or daughter? Carols says for her that was never a question- she believed in her child and believed that this child was thoughtful and intelligent and gave so much thought to what was happening. She knew that this decision was painfully arrived at.

When Kimberley began her transition to a woman, she kept it a secret from the whole family. She told her mother but she couldn’t tell her dad. Having been the perfect son, she didn’t want to take the element of vicarious living from her dad. Carol waited one year to tell her husband that their son was now a woman. Carol says that her husband was ill and his health was a real issue, and she wanted to time the news right. There never was a right time but she decided she must tell him. She made appointments for herself to visit a therapist and, on the third visit, her husband came along and she told him. It was really hard. Kimberley says she feels bad that she couldn’t do it herself, what a thing to put on someone else- Carol was juggling the whole extended family. Kimberley wishes that she hadn’t put her mom through so much. She feels its important to talk about this on the program and on the documentary. She hopes that people can come out earlier and earlier in the newer generation. Oprah says with regards to coming out, many people, maybe not transgender but maybe are coming out as gay. Oprah says she got goosebumps earlier when Carol said she believed in her child. Oprah says that’s beautiful, Kimberley and Carol hug.

Kimberley has been dating Claire for ten years. Claire says she feels we are all a little in drag and projecting, and for women that’s feminine. What was striking and attractive to Claire about Kimberley was how comfortable she was with herself, and that to her is feminine, female. Oprah says it’s all about finding what is authentic to yourself. Oprah clarifies that Claire is a lesbian.She then asks if as a lesbian you try and strike a balance between feminine and non-feminine. Claire says she had some gender issues herself , she liked alot of boy things, she may have ovecompensated  so she wasn’t viewed as a lesbian. Oprah asks if she finds that when you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes. All the things you were afraid of, the people you thought would reject you and wouldn’t love you anymore still did and the people who were upset and jealous of you still are. It takes alot of courage to stand up for who you are. Oprah would like to encourage us to watch the movie and to inspire you to dig in and figure out what is holding you back and become the best you can be. Thanks everybody, and take the no-phone pledge. Bye everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth.

Like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz says; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there.

Many transgender people wish that they acted on their gender-change earlier.

So many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable.

When you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The person that everybody wants to be  may not want to be that person; be true to yourself.

Date: February 9th, 2010
File Under: Public Service Announcement, Transformation

Episode 23: Lisa Ling Goes Inside the Secret World of a Modern Geisha and a Real-Life Nunnery

This is something that Oprah has never done; today we’re going to meet a real-life geisha. You probably think of the book, Memoirs of a Geisha- of a secret society of Asian women in white make up fulfilling mens fantasies. That book was fiction, this story is real. Fiona Graham was born in Australia, she has a PhD from Oxford and insists on being called by her geisha name, Sayuki. She’s the only white woman to become a full-fledged geisha in Japan.

They sent Lisa Ling, who will go anywhere, to Tokyo, to get the story. Sayuki tells Lisa all about her life as a gesiha. There used to be 42 districts, now there are 6. Her journey began when filming a documentary about geisha’s; the only way to capture the true essense of a geisha was to become one. She has a PhD in anthropology from Oxford and doesn’t feel that she has wasted her education by becoming a geisha.

For centuries geishas were highly paid companions to elite wealthy men. They had years of intense training, some starting in childhood. They perform elaborate duties with graceful precision; playing music, dancing, serving tea and charming conversation. Sayuki has never been asked to do anything she doesnt want to do as a geisha, she says that the idea that geisha’s are prostitutes for the right price is ridiculous. Today geishas still perform, mostly for businessmen and tourists. The rigorous training has been likened to becoming a doctor; Sayuki says that a geisha is an artist. Everyone knows to become a ballet dancer takes years of intense training, and becoming a geisha is the same. No other white woman has ever been a geisha, so Fiona trained for an intense year. In the beginning,  you do everything that your geisha-mother tells you as you have no judgement. She thinks it takes years to get good judgement. They go to the Geisha District Office, and on the board are  the names of the Geishas and the tea houses to show who is going where tonight. It is determined by the tea house owners, the customers or now the modern Geisha can be contacted through their website. The charge is around $350 for a minimum engagement. Much of Sayuki’s income is spent on expensive handwoven kimonos. $13,500 was the price on one of the kimonos that they look at.

Back in the studio, Lisa Ling joins Oprah. Sayuki is on the phone from her home in Tokyo. Oprah asks her how she was accepted as the first white woman. Sayuki grew up in Japan, she attended high school and university in Japan, and she worked there for a japanese company. She needed that background to get in. Oprah says she is among one of the ignorant people in the world that thought that there could be arrangement, if the price is right, that sex could be an option. Sayuki says that the Geisha is like a Hollywood actress, Geisha are women like any other, they fall in love and maybe have affairs, but it is never part of the job. No one accuses acttresses of being prostitutes just because they sometimes have affairs every now and again. Oprah says the role is to entertain and delight men. Sayuki says it means artist, and it is a private entertainment, much like Mozart would be called to entertain nobility. They perform to customers, not just men. Oprah asks why they are so alluring to the Japanese and the world. Sayuki says it’s the Japanese ideal of the perfect woman. The make up and kimono have been perfected over 400 years. It is breathtakingly beautiful to see a geisha in her full regalia for the first time. Oprah says so you dance and pour tea, is that it? Sayuki says there is also alcohol, not just tea. Some geisha would be upset if it was just tea.

Geisha means a person of the arts. For nearly 400 years it ws a highly coveted life for Japanese women They entertained the richest and most powerful men in Japan, some were even paid to meet a mans sexual desires. Elaborate hairstyles, exquisit kimonos and white make up with red lips; they were the embodiment of the perfect Japanese woman. They were renowned for their grace, intelligence, musical ability and beautiful dancing. They adhered to a strict code- no marriage, no eating in public and no revealing of your true age. 100 years ago there were 80,000 Geisha in Japan, today about 2000 remain.

It took Sayuki 3 years of strict training to master the Japanese artform. Oprah asks if it is painful to kneel- Sayuki says in the beginning it was hard. Oprah asks if there a way to pour tea that you learn? Is there a way to do it so a man wants you? The crowd laughs. Sayuki says it is an art. She demonstrates bowing, she does it whenever she meets her older sisters. Lisa Ling says it is incredible that Sayuki exists as if  in 17th century Japan in modern Tokyo. Sayuki practices her instrument before the performance. A kimono expert of 50 years dresses her. There are 4 layers. She wears black contact lenses. She does get nervous, it’s like going on stage. Sayuki and 5 others were hired to perform at a banquet. Events like this give her the exposure she wants to become one of the top geishas. A performance like this is like stepping back in time. She usually travels by rickshaw around the geisha district. Sayuki wants to stress that sex is never, and has never been, part of the geisha tradition. She says that prostitution was banned in 1957 in Japan, and that geisha’s have never been part of it. Oprah says it is an exquistive culture.

Oprah first read Sayuki’s story in Marie Claire, their new issue is on the stands now, thank Marie-Claire.

As Oprah said earlier, Lisa Ling will go almost anywhere. Most convents did not want cameras in, when asked, so  thank the lord for the Dominican Sisters of Mary outside Detroit. They opened their doors for Lisa and invited her to spend the night. They have a TV but it is only a luxury. The average age of the nuns is 26, the youngest is 18. Sister Mary Judith was told by God, she felt it in her heart. At 7pm, the bell signals the call to nightly prayer, the first 15 minutes are silent. Then prayers are chanted followed by  a choreographed procession of youngest to oldest to the altar. For silence, the sisters go and study, or do duties.  At 10pm they have profound silence which means no talking and everyone in their cell. The 100 cells (bedrooms) are cloistered which means no one from the outside world is allowed behind the door. We are the first. Their vow of poverty means no mirrors, they wear the habit all the time except for in bed. They say its very versatile. They say it is like a wedding ring, it means someone loves me, someone has claimed me, and that person is Christ. They dont need much.

The life of a nun means no children, sex, make-up, jewellry, possessions. Oprah asks, do think you could do that? Lisa got a great night sleep there and the sisters were some of the kindest people that she had met. Sister Mary Judith has been there for 5 years since she was 21. Sister Frances Mary got the calling at 22, 4 years ago. Oprah believes everyone has a calling in their life. Sister Frances Mary says she was dating a wonderful young man whose sister was a nun in her community. She felt a stirring. Sister Mary Judith was at a crisis point after 3 years in college. She grew up on a reservation in Saskatchewan. She encountered alot of drugs and wanted to save those who were drowning but wanted to also save herself. Oprah says lots of people have a crisis but don’t become nuns. For her, Sister Mary Judith felt God was calling in her emptiness. And she felt that she had to give all of herself to god. She didn’t ask alot of questions or visit before she entered. On her first day she thought what did I do? But she decided to get on with it. Oprah asks if there is a turn-back period? The first 7 years before you take your final vow you can question your decision. The first year you are a postulant, which means questioning. Many parents are upset when their girls become nuns.

There are more than 60,000 catholic nuns in the US, and 750,000 in the world.  Chastity, poverty, and obedience to God and church are the strict vows taken. The nuns believe they are married to Christ, some even wear wedding rings. They wear a habit which they consider to be their wedding dress. Clositered nuns rarely leave the confines and pray up to 12 hours a day. Many nuns devote their lives to helping the poorest people, some choose an independent path, live alone go to college and even have careers. This week Lisa Ling went behind the walls of a thriving convent in Michigan. Oprah says our culture places such a value on things, and possessions and sex appeal; did they turn those messages off in their head? Sister Frances Mary says that the bombardment of imagery undermines the human dignity. She had to weed it out slowly.  She grew up in a normal environment, without even God. Her boyfriend was shocked at first but very supportive. God takes care of everything and her former boyfriend is going to be ordained as a priest the same year that she makes her final vows. They wanted to get married, it was a struggle, they both cried, it was hard, they were in love. Oprah asks if she misses the affection of a man. She says she is still human, right, there is such a community and bonds of love between sisters, Jesus Christ is her spouse and God is Love (John 3:16). Love incarnate is her spouse. The habit represents the wedding gown, and that you’re married to christ, Oprah didn’t know that. Sister Mary Judith says that Christ is a really difficult person to be married to because if something goes wrong she knows its her fault. Everyone laughs, Oprah claps. Sister Mary Judith never thought she’d ever be this happy. Sister Frances Mary says they give their sexuality to Jesus which is beautiful gift, they don’t just give it to a thing or idea. Sister Mary Judith feels she has reclaimed her sexuality from an oversaturated sexualised world and she doesn’t want to be an object. Her sexuality is precious. Oprah interrupts to ask if they have any sexual urgings or feelings. Sister Mary Judith says it is a part of who they are, but not all they are. It’s like every craving we have that we don’t indulge all the time, like eating chocolate. Not eating chocolate all the time is not going to make her into a crazy person who is repressed. They use their desires for a greater calling or cause.

Lisa got up at 5am with the nuns, Sister Joseph Andrew, one of the founders is her tour guide. All meals are eaten in silence. Everyone has a job after beakfast. Sister Joseph Andrew uses her Balckbeerry to communciate by email with new recruits. The sisters play field hockey or soccer or basketball after lunch. They pull up their habits a little and wear sneakers. They are competitive. It can take up to 9 years to become a nun. Lisa sits down with the postulants who have been there for 5 months and haven’t yet earned the veil. Lisa aks how hard it was- it was hard to leave family, but a relief to leave behind Facebook and cellphones. The novices are the next level of nun. One speaks of the constant noise which gnaws at the human soul. Taking a religious life and vow of poverty gives her the silence she needs. The beautiful part of chastity means that you love more not less. Once sisters have taken their final vows they wear a black veil. Mother Assumpta, one of the founders, has been in the convent since she was 17. She hasn’t missed having children, God called her to this to be a spiritual mother.

Previously some of the nuns had other lives, one was a pharmacist, one was working in a fast food restaurant, one was engaged, but she had a longing in her heart. One was living the dream. Oprah also thought you had to have been a virgin to be a nun. Sister Maria says that it is possible to enter the convent by proving they have been living a chaste life and commit to living a chaste life in the future. She had a good life, which she enjoyed but it was superficial and empty, she was in the car business in New York. She says God is so good. Sister Maria Catherine joined at 27, she’d suspected she had a religious vocation for 5 years, but she was terrified. She ran out of all the reasons not to commit, she had to go and try it. Oprah says the best thing about being a nun is sensible shoes.

Oprah asks what happens if you break a vow, like if you go to Target and buy something. Sister Mary Judith says its an integrative away of life and even in married life women have the same vows of chastity, poverty and obedience. They can’t go where they want to go and they have to be spendthrift to support their families. Religious life is meant to mirror a human life of integration with the other. To break a vow means you’re not being true to yourself so you inflict your own punishment on yourself. Like if you know you are cheating on your husband, you inflict damage on yourself and others.

Sister Mary Samuel says that our culture is very challenging with its materialistic, secular nature. Its difficult for families and kids in schools. All our lives are a journey before God, and a religious life is a more intimate journey before God. They are freed from material things through the vows. Lisa Ling says she was surprised by the difference between the perception of nuns leading strict lives and the nuns that she met. Their lives are liberating now because they are not worried about being skinny enough when previously they always wanted more out of life. Oprah thanks the Dominican Sisters of Mary.

Oprah wants to make a difference in the number of lives lost by texting and talking on cell phones while we drive. Yesterday in a producers meeting, Oprah heard that Lisa drives with her knees and texts while she drives. Lisa admits it, she says she can’t lie in front of the sisters. She has done it, not alot, but she has. Oprah thanks her for being honest, but says she is stunned. Lisa is willing to say she’ll not text, but she’ll use a bluetooth which is legal in CA. Oprah says that’s not enough, she wants Lisa to go all the way infront of the sisters. She will not text and will encourage others to do the same. She will take half the pledge. People at home please take the whole pledge and at least give up texting. Goodbye everybody., thanks Lisa

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Paid sex is never, and has never been, part of the geisha tradition.

God takes care of everything.

The beautiful part of chastity means that you love more not less.

The habit represents the wedding gown, and that you’re married to Christ.

Nuns and geishas are just like us: they use email too.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Oprah says the best thing about being a nun is wearing sensible shoes.

Date: February 3rd, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment, Transformation

Episode 19: Stars of Reality TV: Fantasia’s Comeback and Ruby’s Revelations

Her raw singing talent thrust her into stardom, but it all came crashing down after her. Over 30 million people watched her dream come to life as Fantasia Barrino won American Idol in 2004. She had it all—and almost lost it. Her first album went platinum, and her Broadway debut in The Color Purple landed her rave reviews and brought audiences to their feet. But suddenly her meteoric rise became a troubling freefall-  sales  of her second album were dispappointing, and as the sole breadwinner for her family, her finances began to crumble. She almost lost her house, she put on 30lbs, and she kept missing appearances which resulted in a hit on her reputation.

Fantasia is here. Her eyes water whenever she sees footage of herself win American Idol- it was a special moment that changed her life. It was something she always wanted to do but she felt it would never happen for her because she didn’t have a diploma, she is a single mom. She felt that her curse had been broken and that she could follow her dreams. Oprah recalls that several years ago she warned Fantasia that with all the money she would get “cousins” coming out of the woodwork. Does Fantasia think she mismanaged the financial side? Yes she did. She turned up to perform, and she let others handle her money and arrange where she had to be. She allowed them to take care of everything. She was young and naive and didn’t realise that she had to be involved in accounts and schedules, to make sure that people weren’t taking advantage of her talent.

Oprah, as the producer of The Color Purple had been so excited for Fantasia to star in the broadway hit. Scott and the others were so excited and thrilled. At the end, Fantasia began to miss so many performances that they had to pay back over  half a million to the audience in cancelled performance fees. More than the money, this was for many the first Broadway play that people had seen- people would bus from California to see her, and they were extremely disappointed when she wasn’t there. Fantasia had never done Broadway, nor had she seen a Broadway play. She wasn’t prepared for what comes with it. 8 shows a week and she had to also deal with her own life as a single mom taking care of everybody. It became an overload. What people don’t know is that she had to have two tumors removed from her vocal chords- as an artist who sang since she was five, she’d never been to a throat doctor- this was the first time she had worked with throat coaches. You can’t give your best only on some days, she doesn’t know how to give half. Towards the end she was very tired, and if she wasn’t on stage she was in the hospital getting an IV. Why didn’t you tell me? asks Oprah. Fantasia says she couldn’t find her. They laugh. Oprah asks why she didn’t say something to someone. Fantasia says that some of the producers knew she was getting an IV, and she just had to keep coming back for the next performance. She went to the best doctor in LA who took the tumors out and now she’s as good as gold.

Oprah says that’s scary for anybody, but for Fantasia it is her livelihood and joy. She couldn’t work for 6 weeks and she has to pay all the bills. She asked the lord and he said stop taking care of everybody. Now a reality show follows her battle back into success. As a single mom without a diploma, she wants more for her daughter than she has. Footage shows her daughter has 4 American Girl dolls, they all needed clothes. Her daughter got a guitar and a pampering party for all her friends for her birthday party. Her mother says Fantasia gives her daughter so much to make up for her absence. Oprah asks if she’s worried about spoiling her daughter? A little, because she’s always on the road and she has to keep working to pay for a good school.

2 years ago, Fantasia told People magazine that she was too broke to buy pizza. Oprah asks was there not a lot of money which came in after American Idol, and Fantasia says she doesn’t want to throw anyone under the bus- there was a lot of money coming in but she doesn’t know where it went. After the surgery, no money was coming in so she called her manager because her card was declined trying to buy pizza. The manager wired her some money, and at that point Fantasia knew she’d been mishandled. It hit her, wow. And she couldn’t ask anyone in her family  for anything, this was of her making. When she got her money from American Idol she’d send it home to her mom who was living in a hotel having just divorced. After she won, she wanted to make her whole family happy. In a family of six adults, she’s the only one working. In her reality show you can see how Teeny, her big brother, is unwilling to work. Her mom said Fantasia  enabled him, and now he’s disabled- he will not work. He has everything that he’s ever asked Fantasia for. He hangs out in the pool house all day long. Fantasia has decided that she doesn’t wasnt to take care of everybody. She has had it, she’s over it, it’s time for Teeny to go. She texted him to go. He was hysterical.

Fantasia put him out, don’t get her wrong she loves him, he’s her brother, but it’s too much. He’s a man, and the bible says if a man don’t work then a man don’t eat. Before Fantasia was blessed, her brother was the only one that worked, he could have gone to college on a scholarship, and now they are all take take take. She cherishes her house, and as they don’t pay the bills, they don’t cherish it. She hasn’t changed with money, she’s grown. Oprah quotes a book, The Gift of Fear, saying when you say no and others don’t listen, then they are trying to control you. Oprah asks if Fantasia was cautious about exposing her family this way? A litle, but she wanted them to see themselves, and they don’t see how hard she is working. Coming home to their drama where they don’t even say thank you. They pout, and she needs them, so she always ends up giving them something.

She had a lot of lawsuits coming to her, from her family and others, and they came after both of her homes. The home went up for auction. It was very embarrassing. What has she learned, Oprah asks. She has learned how to say no. Two, she has to be in control of her destiny- her money, her shows, everything. She is 25 and she can’t allow people to take care of her destiny. Oprah says she’s lucky to know that by 25. Fantasia performs her new single as inspired by her struggle.

Millions of women connect with reality star Ruby Gettinger, they laugh cry and struggle along as she tries to loose weight. Ruby at her heaviest weighed 716lbs, she knows her problem is both mental and physical. She doesn’t remember anything from her life before age 13. Now Ruby is starting to peel back the layers to discover the truth. This season cameras follow Ruby as she achieves major breakthroughs- she wears jeans for the first time in her life. She comes into the studio, wearing jeans. Last time Ruby told Oprah that she’d never weighed below 350lbs as an adult, she is just under that now. Last time Oprah asked what Ruby was feeding- and she was feeding pain. Her childhood has been surpressed. As a child the only medication that you can access is food. She thought this was just about  food, but it is about her pain in the past. To help track down her lost childhood, she hired a private detective who found a physician’s assistant who treated Ruby and her mother over 20 years ago. She met with the doctor, Dr Dukes; they used to come weekly, and he thinks that the mother was trying to protect Ruby from something that she suffered as a child. The doctor thought that Ruby’s mother fed her so much to keep her unattractive. She doesn’t know what happened, she will sit down with the doctor and her mother to find the secret behind her lost childhood.

Ruby recently realised that her missing years are the reason she overeats. Dr Dukes and her mom were really close at one time, so Ruby feels he’ll help. Her mother started seeing Dr Dukes for general things, but later on she figured out that there was something severely wrong and she was treated for clinical depression, and considered suicide. She was afraid of suicide, nothing happened but it almost did. When she was 11 or 12 she was by herself with someone who was kin to her and he told her not to open that door. The doctor says his aunt fed her beautiful girls to make them less attractive to men, and that maybe this was the case here. Her mother says she enabled all her children.

Oprah says that our past affects who we are now, but the real issue with food is what we do every time we have an emotion. Oprah knows from experience that emotional eaters eat to deal with their feelings- when happy, sad, stressed, bored.. . Ruby didn’t realise she was over-eating on snacks, all day long. Ruby needed food, it was giving her something that she wasn’t getting.  Oprah says food was love for Ruby. Ruby agrees.  Ruby’s father was gone alot because he was in the airforce. She doesn’t remember him at all from that time, but from age 13 up she became close to him to teach him how to love. He was a geat father and provider, but he couldn’t hold her hand or say he loved her. Oprah says Ruby  ate to make herself loved- with a disconnected father and a suicidal depressed mother.

Ruby went to see a plastic surgeon on her TV program, “Ruby”. He draws on the skin on her body- you trade the fat for loose skin or for scars. She had been excited to see a surgeon, but seeing the scars was horrific. The choice of hanging skin or scars is difficult. Oprah has always been told that if you cut the underarm flab, the scar never goes away. Ruby says it’s a no-win situation. She feels the hanging skin is worse than the scars. Nothing can change the hanging skin. Ruby had diabetes, and now it is under control, she no longer has to take medication. She was on 4 medications for the silent killer- tomorrow’s show is a one-hour special on the silent killer. Ruby feels healthier than ever, she has a fast-pace, she is not limited by anything, At 700lb, she couldn’t have sat in this chair. She wants to help others- to ask what are you hungry for, what are you feeding? Initially she couldn’t deal with the fact that she was a food addict. Oprah is a food addict, she doesn’t like to say it but it is the truth.

It’s a journey, season 3 of Ruby starts on Monday on the Style Network. Remember don’t text and drive. Thank  you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Learn to say no, even to family, if they ask for more than you can give.

Fantasia works really, really hard.

Money doesn’t change you, it makes you grow.

When you say no and others don’t listen, then they are trying to control you.

You don’t get to be 716lb if you are not feeding a suppression.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Don’t be the sole breadwinner in a house of 6 capable adults. Food is food, not love.

Date: February 1st, 2010
File Under: Public Service Announcement, Transformation

Episode 17: Undercover Boss

Do you ever wish your boss could walk in your shoes? To know first hand how stressful it can be, how  hard you work? You are about to see one of America’s most powerful bosses trade in his corner office and expense account for a bag lunch. For one week he’ll work undercover. He’ll work side-by-side with his employees and they don’t have a clue he is the big boss. Take a look.

Waste Management is the largest trash and recycling company in North America, a $13 billion business with 45000 employees and 20 million customers. Larry O’Donnell is President and Chief Operations Offficer. He’s been very fortunate in his career, but his family is very important to him. His wife and son are his pillars of strength, the joy of his life. His daughter was born normal but as the result of a standard examination, she threw up and aspirated and ended up with brain damage. And that’s why he never wants to work for a company where people don’t know how to follow proper procedures, maybe that’s why he takes safety so seriously.

Going undercover, he will pose as Randy Lawrence, shooting a TV show about trying entry level jobs within Waste Management, moving from location to location and staying at low-budget motels. Sandy tells  Larry to pick up trash, cardboard and recyclables off the conveyor belt line and put  them in the right places. Sandy shouts instructions to Larry but he simply cannot keep up. Larry says he was  sweating bullets because he knows how expensive the equipment is. Leaving cardboard on the belt will jam the equipment. He tells the people in the break room that he fears he may have messed up. Sandy has to run in an alarming fashion… and goes to punch in. She explains that she can get docked two minutes for every minute that she’s laste. Larry says that doesn’t seem fair.

Back in the studio, Larry is there with Oprah. Was he prepared for the physicality of it all? Not at all- he works out every and  thinks he’s in pretty good shape, but the reaching and stretching and trying to figure out what’s coming down the line  was very physically demanding. Plus the mental stress, particularly as a new person, he was not very good at it. He would have to practice to be good at that job.

Next time round, Walter is Larry’s supervisor at the landfill in Pompano Beach, Florida. He asks Larry to pick up litter that’s blowing away from the landfill and put it in a garbage bag. Larry asks if there are any special techniques and Walter says it’s just picking up paper. Larry says the trash is kicking his… Walter says he is taking too long, says he’s not cutting the mustard, they go to lunch. Outside of work, Walter is on dialysis which takes up three nights a week. Larry never would have guessed. Walter says his spirit tells his body what is going to happen. He says he gets pissed off by being able to run rings round healthy people like Larry. Larry gets a second chance after lunch, Walter will time him, and shout at him. Larry says he’s not very good at it. Walter thanks him for coming to  Waste Management to try it out, but says he just doesn’t have it.

Back in the studio, Larry says this is the first—and hopefully last—time that he’s been fired from a job. It should take ten minutes to fill a bag of trash. This did give him the sense of what his employees go through every day, and how his decisions can impact that. He spends 200 days a year out in the field so he thought he knew what they go through, he felt he was approachable and engaged by employees, but this is very different. When he goes out as the president of the company, he gets treated as the president, this is different.

Undercover Boss is a new CBS show where bosses go undercover and work with their employees. Larry now is filling the garbage truck in Rochester NY with trash. He works with Janice who says she visits a little over 300 homes a day. She says it’s  a good company but they are not very female friendly. She shows him the can she has to pee in. He asks if she’s ok with that, she says she has to be. They meet a community member who  hugs Janice and reminds Larry  him of his daughter and he breaks down a little.

Oprah asks Larry about the pee in the cup, he has no idea where the policy comes from. She was very engaged with her customers, but disappeared for a few minutes, and he tried to help, and then she showed him the pee can. He’s from Texas, where they call them pecans- he thought she’d been given a gift. When she put it in his hands it hit him. His mind started going thinking why is she peeing in a can? Though it’s not a corporate policysees it as his failure that they have thought about that.

His next stop is at a landfill in Fairport, New York. He is interested to see if the downsizing and streamlining of staff is working. Larry meets Jaclyn, she is office manager, administrative assistant, scale operator, scale supervisor, all the accounts payable, receivable and payroll. She nnever does one thing at a time. She felt overwhelmed the first week, but she takes multitasking to a whole new level. She makes the same amount of money for doing dual roles or triple roles or quadruple roles, she don’t even know how many.She wants to get the most out of life because she has I experienced a lot of health problems. By the time she was 21, she had a total hysterectomy and she had five forms of cancer before she was 25. She’s not the average 29-year-old girl. She says that someday, she’s going to run this place. She invites him fro dinner at her house to meet her family. He brings flowers. There are three families here living with her, depending on her. SHe just does what it takes. They moved in five years ago, but the taxes went up and it’s currently for sale, and she’d like to stay in the home.

Larry tells Oprah that he couldn’t sleep after visiting Jaclyn’s family. Jaclyn is there on the stage. Jaclyn felt bad for Larry, so invited him home. Oprah asks is he almost blew his cover… this was very unusual for Jaci to have so many jobs, and he felt bad for the family situation. At the risk of blowing his cover, he arranged to meet Jaclyn’s boss.

Larry’s next job is cleaning toilets. he looks vaguely disgusted. The site manager reminds them that they have 8 minutes to clean it and move on. They find the diaper. 15 toilets an hour is the goal, the person he’s with, Fred,  sees the potential in him.

Oprah was so inspired by Fred, cleaning toilets all day with such good humor. Fred is in the studio, he focuses each morning that the day will be a good day. If he wants to use the toilet he wants it to be clean. Oprah has never used a port-a-potty in her life because you don’t know what you’ll find in there. Larry was inspired by Fred, driving saying it’s not a job but an adventure. larry had more fun doing that job, which surprised him. Larry made it so much fun.

After one week undercover, Larry revealed his identity.  All of the employees are floored. Fred is invited to speak to the Senior Management Team. Larry commits to fixing the unfemale-friendly policy- he’s set up a task force. He will fix the clocking-in issue. Walter will get some paid time off to help people go through treatment as he is a motivational person. Jaclyn, who is doing all those jobs will get a salary, become bonus-eligible. She is delighted that her hard work has paid off. She feels validated. they are all blessed that they got to take part in this. To her Larry will be Randy, an everyday guy who impacted their life.

Oprah wants to say that part of the reason that happened is because she put out the opportunity and it came back to her. Fred no longer works at Larry’s company, it ended on great terms and he’s doing well. Larry’s biggest lesson was a whole new appreciation for the front line employees. On a personal level he is so blessed. One thing he learned is that people welcomed him and cared and wanted him to be a better person. Thanks everyone.

The 7-Eleven empire spans five continents and has more than 28,000 locations worldwide. The sultan of the slurpy, Joe DePinto, is the man who oversees this billion-dollar corporation, but for his Undercover Boss covert mission, he swaps his luxurious lifestyle for a uniform and mop. His  alias is Danny Rossi, his cover story is that he used to be in real estate. He’s out of work, and  looking for new opportunities. He wants to find out why people choose to work the nightshift.  His co-worker, Waqas, asks him to greet customers, stock merchandise and perform the regular cleaning duties. Danny is not working very hard, says Waqas. They have to keep these restrooms clean, four or five times a night. They have to throw away the stale doughnuts- Joe is upset that they are not going to charities.
The next stop is an early-morning shift  in Shirley, New York, to see why one store sells more cups of coffee than any other franchise. Joe says he need sto figure out what makes their coffee business so great so that he can share it with the other stores.  At 5:30 a.m. Joe meets Dolores. Joe suggests a sink would be helpful, Dolores says in his dreams. She knows everyone, she’s been here 18 years. One of the customers tells him that Dolores is raising five kids, has one working kidney and must have dialysis twice a week. Dolores is the reason that they are selling 2,500 cups of coffee.

Back in the studio with Oprah, Joe was reminded of when he started in a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and it reminded him how hard the folks out there work. At one point he asked to turn off the cameras- he couldn’t believe they were throwing away doughnuts. Now they have a system in place. Oprah calls Dolores the coffee queen. SHe joins us by Skype with her customers. Dolores says the secret is good coffee, nice customers and a good store. SHe thought Joe was pushy and had no potential. After revealing his true identity, Joe gives Dolores a special surprise—two season tickets to the New York Yankees, her favorite team.

7-Eleven also donates $150,000 to Donate Life America, an organization that encourages organ donation, in honor of Dolores. She thanks him. Joe’s final assignment lands him in a delivery truck with Igor in Dallas. Igor was a college educated business manager in Russia, and a decorated officer in the army. Igor tells Danny that his truck is his baby, and if he had arms long enough he would hug it. Then he says let the fun begin and the two of them start their round of deliveries. Danny says is it a pleasure having worked with Igor, he is energetic, enthusiastic and positive, just the kind of guy you would want to work for you. Back in the truck Danny asks Igor how he stays so motivated in the middle of the night. Igor says that he is living the American Dream; America is the best country in the world, Americans just don’t know how blessed they are.

Back in the studio with Oprah she tells us that Joe calls Igor an unsung hero, he drives his delivery truck with gusto. Oprah then turns to Igor and asks him why he admitted to one time looking down on people like himself. Igor says that when he was back in Russia he used to be in a position of power and of course would down on people below him. However, when he came to the states he couldn’t really find a job because of his inability to speak the language and was a janitor for a while. This was a very humbling experience and made him better understand people. Oprah asks how he how he can keep so positive driving a truck. Igor takes pride in a job well done and when he used to be a janitor he would make the restroom floor sparkle like diamonds. Oprah then turns to the audience and says that Joe has some good news for Igor.

Joe tells Igor that he has humility, can-do-attitude and that he’s a hard worker who puts the company first. Joe knows that Igor has dreams of running his own franchise but that he’s been worried about finances, therefore 7-Eleven has waived the franchise fee and Joe hands Igor the keys to his own store. Hugs all round. Oprah tells us that Igor now has his own store and that 7-Eleven has waived the start-up fee which normally amounts to $140.000 and that he now fully can live the American Dream by being his own boss. Undercover Boss will premier on CBS on sunday right after the Super Bowl. Bye everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

If you go to meet your employees as the president of the company, you  get treated as the president of the company.

As an undercover employee, you may uncover some of your own policies which shock you.

You may also discover that your employees work  harder than you do, with much less reward.

America is the best country in the world, Americans just don’t know how blessed they are.

As the president of the company, you will be able to reveal who you are and give your employees some hefty financial rewards.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Work hard and you will be rewarded. Keep hoping your coworker is actually your very rich boss.

Date: January 27th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Public Service Announcement, Transformation, Uncategorized

Episode 14: Before You Grocery Shop Again… Food 101, With Michael Pollan

Oprah will turn 56 in a couple of days and she still loves it when she learns something new, and she recently saw an eye-opening, fascinating documentary, Food, Inc. It makes you think, like any good documentary- we all have to start paying more attention to what we put into our bodies and look at the bigger picture beyond carbs, fat, calories etc. Do you know where your food comes from? In the studio they do a quiz. The most consumed meat in the world is not beef as the audience guessed, but rather goat. Goat is lower in fat and cholestorol than chicken and has more protein than beef. In Chicago in midwinter, grapes travel further than tomatoes or mushrooms to arrive in the grocery store. Children today drink twice as much soda as milk. Americans take 3 million pounds of antibiotics and livestock take 28 million pounds, which is why they are doing today’s show.

An extract from Food, Inc: The way we eat has changed more in the last 50 years than the last ten thousand. But the image we are sold is still the old rural America, a view of farmers, 30’s farmhouses, fields and picket fences. Food in our supermarkets  (average 47,000 products) has become seasonless, tomatoes  are available all year rounds. There are no longer bones in the meat aisle. If you follow the food chain back from the shrink-wrapped meat you have a very different reality. In the 70’s the top 5 beef packers controlled 25% of the market, now the top 45 control over 80% of the market. A handful of companies have changed what we eat and how we make our food. Modern agriculture is about  making  things faster and bigger and fatter and cheaper, nobody is thinking about the ecological health of the whole system.

Oprah says that some food industry organizations are saying that the film Food, Inc is biased and misleading but that we can make up our own minds, because we live in America. Isn’t that wonderful? For Oprah it boils down to making more conscious food decisions. Oprah recommends we watch it for ourselves and make our  own decisions.

An extract from Food, Inc: Birds are raised and slaughtered in half the time they were 50 years ago and they’re now twice as big. People like white meat so chicken’s have been re-engineered to have bigger breasts. A farmer asks why you would raise a chicken in 3 months when you could do it in 49 days? More money in your pocket, The chickens never see sunlight. In the chicken house there is dust and feces everywhere, it is an assembly line with mass production. With the rapid growth of a chicken from a chick to fully grown in 7 weeks, alot of the internal organs and bones can’t keep up with the rate of growth, so many of the chickens can only take a few steps and then they fall down. Th intensive production systems produce alot of food on a small amount of land at an affordable price.

Oprah says after seeing the film she had to spread the message. Michael Pollan award-winning journalist and 4-times bestseller author is one of the foremost authorities on food in the world. Pollan says we re-engineered the bird- it is a great achievement in one way, it is now the cheap meat- the reason is breeding, diet, antibiotics and our willingness to tolerate this feedlot system. There is a price to be paid for the shortened lifespan of a chicken, and the price is antibiotics. If we give so many to the animals, they will no longer work for the people and we see alot of antibiotic resistant germs coming out of feed lots. Cheap food is great, and we have to acknowledge the achievement, but also the cost. Oprah asks how we feed America without mass-producing food- it’s the American way. Americans have done a good job of driving down food prices; we spend 9.5% of our income on food, the smallest percentage in the world. It’s hard to  imagine we can make food production fair, humane and sustainable without increasing prices. Can we figure out how to mass-produce sustainable food? We don’t know exactly how yet but we can figure out how to do it if we can re-engineer a chicken.

Oprah asks how the Western diet relates to the rest of the world. It’s a confused treacherous landscape where cereal promises better focus in the classroom and a healthy heart. Most of what is in the supermarket is not “food”, it is an edible food-like substance. The western diet was invented about 100 years ago- lots of everything- processed meat, sugar, additives, added fat- except fruits, vegetables and whole grains. In other parts of the world people are healthy eating seal blubber or cow’s blood. Before the Western diet, people did not suffer from Type 2 diabetes, heart disease obesity etc. It’s not about fat or carbs but whole foods. The Inuit diet is very high in fat-75%- seal blubber- but they do not suffer from Type 2 diabetes, heart disease . How is that asks Oprah, we don’t know says Pollan, maybe it is all the Omega 3’s. What we know is that traditional diet eaters are not suffering high rates of chronic diseases. It is about eating minimally processed plants, meats and fungi.

The rules

#2: Dont eat anything your great grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.

#7 avoid food containing ingredients that a third grader couldn’t pronounce

#13 Eat only foods that will eventually rot

One of theories is do you pay for real food or pay for the doctor? In 1960 they paid 18% of national income on food and 5% on healthcare. Today we pay 9% on food and 17% on healthcare. The less we spend on food the more we spend on healthcare. This is not about nutrients- as soon as you demonize one nutrient, another gets a free pass. Look at the low-fat kick we were all on for the last 40 years; everyone got fatter. Fat was taken out of the product and replaced with sugar, so now you can get a fat-free yogurt with more calories than a full-fat yogurt.

# 39 Eat all the junk food you like as long as you cook it yourself.

We shouldn’t deprive ourselves of pleasure, but we should earn it by cooking. Cooking is key to take back control from the corporations, who cannot cook well and use too much salt and so on. Oprah calls for a food revolution because it all boils down to convenience- cheap fast easy. It’s not that hard to eat well if you are willing to put a little more thought, a little more effort and a little more money into it.

Food Inc: With a dollar to spend and two hungry  kids, it is easier to get a  small burger at the drive-through which will fill the kids up more than a single vegetable. Candy and soda are really cheap. Diabetes is a national crisis.

One comment Pollan hears all the time is that people can’t afford to eat well. He says it is amazing that fast food is cheaper than fresh produce. This is because the fast food has been  subsidized through federal agricultural policy, to the tune of $56 billion in ten years and we do nothing to subsidise the fresh produce industry. Corn, soy wheat  have been subsidized. With a dollar to buy as many calories as you can, the snack aisle will get you 1250 calories, versus 250 calories in the produce aisle. The bottom line as seen in the documentary is that we see that the consumer has the biggest voice. We get three votes a day to vote with our forks. If you vote with consciousness, we can change. It is empowering.

Pollan eats everything but is very picky about what he eats. He’ll eat grass-fed beef, which is more expensive but becoming more common- they don’t need antibiotics because cows are meant to eat grass, rather than corn which is what most are bred to eat now. Corn-fed animals grow faster but they get sick. We should choose to eat meat which has been fed well. Oprah says she has nothing to say about the beef industry, she has gone radio-silent. The audience chuckles. Milk, he buys from pastured animals- it has more beta-carotene and omega 3s. He buys alot from farmer’s market. Getting out of the supermarket is a great way to get nearer to the source of our food.  If we eat real food, we don’t need to worry about nutrients. It all boils down to one rule. Eat food, mostly plants, not too much. Oprah reminds us that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that we should watch the film and make up our own minds.

Alicia Silverstone is best known as the actress in the comedy classic Clueless. What you may not know is that she suffered from asthma,insomnia  eczema, and acne, and she was constantly constipated. 12 years ago she revamped her diet and no longer suffers, she sleeps like a baby and has tons of energy. At 33 she feels great and she joins us from satellite by New York. Oprah says she loves Alicia’s book, The Simple Diet, and has got a lot of recipes from it. What did Alicia do? She stopped eating meat and dairy and processed foods and now eats a lot of deliciosus incredible easy food which makes her feel amazing. Her skin changed drastically, her body changed and her energy level changed. She used to have those white marks on her brittle nails and now they are so strong she can’t bend them. She used to feel puffy, then her eyes got really white and she feels amazing. She was on a steak and donut diet and then went cold turkey. She leaned in to it from age 8-21, because she was an animal lover. She would flirt with ideas of vegetarianism. At 21, after seeing some documentaries similar to Food, Inc  showing how the animals were raised, she decied that if she couldn’t eat her dog then she couldn’t eat any other animal species. The kind diet refers to being truly  kind to yourself, letting yourself have your best health, look your best, feel your best and feel your most vital. Being vegan is Alicia’s choice, Oprah tried it for 21 days on a cleanse and missed cheese so much she was dreaming of the cheese in an omelette. She asked if the chickens are treated well and there is music playing, and the cows are happy, is that ok?  Alicia said she’d like to see the happy chicken and cows.

The book is about taking baby steps to become your best self, to flirt with the ideas wherever you are at. Alicia understands wanting and loving cheese- even she sometimes slips up on cheese, usually after wine, and she gets gassy and her skin breaks out. It’s about weighing up the benefits- and the costs. Yes cheese is delicious. but so are all the recipes in the book. Oprah just had something from the book today and last night. But being practical, Oprah doesn’t want to frighten people into trying to give everything up. Alicia says add things in, don’t give things up -things like kale, collard greens and bok choi.

Alicia takes the cameras around the grocery store. Grocery shopping is her most favorite thing in the world, she says that you can flirt with a healthy lifestyle. She picks up vegan fake chicken breasts from the freezer counter. She is eating better food than ever before. Wholegrain rice will change your life. Rice milk and help milk are great. Have greens twice a day. Have maple syrup instead of sugar. Ice cream alternatives- Rice Dream Mud Cakes will change your life.

Alicia heads to her Broadway costar’s house, to cook up some favorites; leek and mushroom and pesto crostinis and the cheesy oozy beany guacamole dip. Oprah has some cooked up meals from the book that she says are delicious. Treat yourself more kindly because you deserve to feel your best and find your truth. They talk about vegan poop and how fabulous it is- Alicia says she wants to show it to her friend, Oprah just wants to talk about it. It’s effortless, and quick and she’s in and out 2 or 3 times a day.

The average American eats fast food four times  a week. Steve Ells, the man behind Chipotle, wants to change the way fast food is served in the US. Fast food with a conscience. Just because it’s fast doesn’t mean it has to be a fast food experience. Fast food to most means cheap and processed. At Chipotle everything is fast and never frozen, organic and local if possible. 100% of chicken and pork is naturally raised, and 60% of beef is naturally raised.  This year they will serve 70 million pounds of meat. It’s really important both taste wise and enviromentally that the animals are allowed to roam outside. Sustainable food should not be a luxury, it should be an everyday experience.

Oprah welcomes Steve and he tells her to come to Chipotle. In 1993 when he just got out of cooking school, he set up Chipotle to provide seed money for his fancy restaurant but it got really busy. They had a great attention to detaill not usually found in fast food. They keep their standards high by doing a few thing s and teaching people how to cook, and fast. In the beginning it was just about freshness. But he was sourcing a new pork supplier and came across an Iowan pork that was humane and antibiotic free and it tasted great. Looking at pork in confinement, he decided not to base Chipotle on that model. We eat 200lb per person per year of meat- if all our animals were raised outside there would be a trade off- we’d have to eat less meat but it would be better quality.

Amazon.com friends are offering Food Inc for $9.99 with a free digital download. Michael Pollan’s final thoughts are that pioneers like Steve wil help us figure it out. You have to pay a little more and decide  if it’s worth it to you. Think about how your decisions affect you and your children and their children. Thank you everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Modern agriculture is about making things faster and bigger and fatter and cheaper, nobody is thinking about the ecological health of the whole system.

We can make up our own minds about these issues, because we live in America. Isn’t that wonderful?

Most of what is in the supermarket is not “food”, it is an edible food-like substance.

Consider being truly  kind to yourself, letting yourself have your best health, look your best, feel your best and feel your most vital.

Vegan poop is effortless, quick and fabulous enough to consider sharing it with your friends.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Eat food, mostly plants, not too much

Date: January 11th, 2010
File Under: Aha Moment, Family, Live your best life, Relationships, Transformation

Episode 2: A Family Stripped Down: Peter Walsh Moves In

He’s going to strip them down… it’s a bold experiment to take away everything that is tearing their lives apart- TV’s, Blackberries, take out menus, mess. In seven days this major transformation will change them into the family they want to be- this experiment could change the world for them and, by extension,  everyone.

Seven days with no phone, computer, TV microwave. Expert Perter Walsh is coming in.

Steve and Rhonda have been married for five years,they have a five year old son Drake, and Rhonda’s  fifteen year old son Blake from a previous marriage. By 5.30am Blake has sent 23 texts, Mom is at gym, Blake eats a Pop Tart alone. When Mom returns Drake has already watched an hour of TV. By 9am Ronda is alone in the house and is stressed by the mess which drives her crazy, she shuts the door on it. The laundry downstairs is a disaster. When Blake comes home from school he goes straight to the computer- by now he has sent 119 texts. The family sometimes communicate with him by text. Drake needs to be played with. At 6pm dad is home with takeout. They do use the TV, it is the only family time they get. Mom wants quality time. The kids grow up so fast and she doesn’t want them to only have memories of watching TV.

Watching that recap, Ronda is tired. The audience can relate. Blake texts 7000 -9000 texts per month saying stuff about school. But it does bother him that the family aren’t close. It would be better for Drake if they spent some time together. Sometimes the big brother watches the little brother and the couple go out. If they could re-edit the tape of a day in the life of their family, they’d get up together, maybe make breafast for the kids, be without the mess. And at night they would spend time together- nothing special, just together time. There’s only maybe twice a month that they sit down together. It’s so rushed- they eat then check Facebook, then go. Oprah says that’s exactly what is happening to our world.

As a family they are often in the same room but not communicating with each other. They don’t know where they lost their way, but they should be treating each other the best. Inside their idyllic home, the family are disconnected from each other. They need life organisational expert Peter Walsh. Peter says this family needs to be “stripped down”. Peter says this problem is too common, we believe more is better and our lives full of too much stuff are thus disconnected. Must strip down everything that comes between you and your best life.

This is a seven day challenge to get rid of everything which makes you feel disorganised or disconnected. The family need to give 110% to get everything back together. The family are “in”. The challenge begins right now.

5 rules for the family

1. No cell phones, no texting for the next seven days (“For a week” says Oprah)

2. No computers, email, TV, computer games or iPods. Their only entertainment is to be each other

3. Healthy meals prepared together. Sit together eat together

4. Their house is a mess. Clean it up.

5. A little bit of loving- every day they must hug each of  the others and tell them that they love them

The rules are posted on a billboard outside their house. There will be no cheating because of “the vault”. All their stuff is inside the vault- anything which disconnects the family- microwave, energy drinks, iPods, computers. Peter has taken the liberty of removing every door from the closets. Now the family will go home and has until noon the next day to do Challenges 1 & 2.

1- think of an activity to enjoy together tomorrow.

2. Wash fold and put away all the laundry.

At noon tomorrow, Peter will knock on their door and move in with them. He has no idea where he will sleep. Peter says,”Mom, Dad, I’m looking forward to a very fun week”.

This all happened a week ago. Let’s tune in and see how they did. If this family can be transformed in a week, think what it can do for your family. At noon, Peter arrived and went to the now-spotless laundry room. He was impressed and gave them a new rule. From now on, if they go to the laundry room, they have to go upstairs with more than one thing. Drake has many toys but doesn’t get the attention he wants by being included in the family. Blake needs more patience. Now they are going to tackle the three car garage. Peter’s goal is to park all three cars in there by the end of the day. They sort through all their stuff to see if they need, use or want it- otherwise it goes. In 2 hours they have a truckload of donations and a clean garage. they survive Day 2 but no one has any idea that the next day will be full of breakdowns and breakthroughs.

Oprah asks why the garage stuff plays a role in the disconnection. Peter says if your home does not rise up to meet you, you are missing that element. If you fill your time with technology, it does not mean you are better connected. 1,000 emails or  100,000 texts do not mean that you are connected. At first Blake found it hard to give up texting, but after a while he was pleased to not have his phone. It wasn’t all that hard.

It’s usually/ always the third day that takes you out. Oprah likens this to the cycle of dieting. On the first day you are full of energy and resolve but on day three you get a burger and fries. The messy garage was a metaphor for their life. Oprah says it’s all a metaphor for your life- nasty car, messy bedroom. All the messy stuff in your life is your emotions. Peter says you must strip down the stuff, gadgets and mess which are disconnecting your family.

Day 3 (kids backstage) There is a deeper level of disconnection in this family. Dad doesn’t know if he’s doing a good enough job.  He thinks he’s failing a little bit, not putting the time in. What is the future for him and the kids? Steve is terrified. All he does is work, when he comes home he feels his family is moving in all different directions. He feels a little bit unloved. He has a level of resentment that he is working so hard. There is a guilt that Rhonda feels for not working in corporate america. Is she frightened of another divorce? Is Rhonda worried that this is going to fail?

Back in the studio, Oprah wants to say that she’ll never forget a show from 6,7, or 10 years ago when she had a Aha Moment  - a father said that every good father has a dream for his family. Peter helped Rhonda and Steve break down the walls of guilt, resentment and fear. How did Peter know to do this? So many people are disconnected, he’s seen it over and over. Everyone is so busy and if they are busy then they should be doing good things. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! What your kids want is you, to feel that they are a part of you. The kitchen nourishes the family. Without that nourishment around the table where do they get it? Drake rose to the challenge incredibly. In a week he is more patient and gving. By shifting the focus away from self-parenting, and removing the TV, the dynamic is changed. He had a few tantrums in the beginning, but now they are connected as a family. For kids, TV is a passive interaction but they are in control- to remove that is a shock. It is hard for them to learn that they don’t have control; they need parents to be in control.

How could you do this without the help of Peter Walsh? It’s all about communciation and taking the first step. You have got to get beyond the fear. Where will it go? Will you end up divorced? Tonight, everyone should sit down and have a conversation with their partner. Tell them you are nervous but that you love them and want to be with them, and if that changes you will let them know. This is the basis foundation, so that conversations don’t take us to the extreme place. One date night a month is worth a 100 weeks of vacation at the end of the year. Get together regularly- don’t leave it to catch up at the end of the year. This family tried it and it worked out pretty nicely. Oprah says she can see that and gesticulates at the couple’s intertwined  hands.

The family have survived four days. With Peter, they have come up with new rules.

1. No cell phones, texting, or computer use from 6-9pm.

2. No TV before school or during meals

3. Sunday family breakfast, make a weekly meal plan, eat 3 dinners together  a week

4. Weekly clean up and laundry sort on Saturday mornings

5. Stay with the I love you rules. Plus monthly date night and weekly family night

Within 48 hours the family have to take a road trip to Chicago. They have a kit with  activities and a photo cut-out of Peter stuck on a stick. The road trip was awesome, they followed the new rules and had so much fun. Pancake Peter was with them all the way, in their photos.

The point of this was to spend time together and travel with the new rules. They had to negociate activities the whole family could do. They did three activities, one of which was going to a park. Blake feels awesome, he doesn’t need his phone as much. He is now mindful of Peter’s advice to  ”Be where you are”; not texting. Rhonda lost 4lbs without her energy drink. Oprah invites Peter to live in her house.

Peter summarizes that if you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out. Thanks to everyone, Peter’s new book, “It’s All Too Much” has just been released on DVD.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

The state of your stuff is a metaphor for your life, be it nasty car or messy bedroom

Our lives need to be “stripped down” of all our stuff so that we can re-connect with each other

You should always “Be where you are”

A clean house is a happy house

Communication begins with a conversation

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

If you spend time together, eat healthy and be active then it will all work out.

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