another one year projectThis year we follow the words of Oprah Winfrey

Oprah sits down with Sarah Ferguson and asks her how it feels to be in the eye of the storm. Sarah says that the fear is not real, so she has to calm down her heartbeat rather than going into an anxiety attack. She says when you look back at what you did, that person is unrecognizable. Oprah spoke to Sarah on the phone yesterday and it is her understanding that Sarah has not seen the tape. Sarah has seen parts of the tape in airports, but she hasn’t sat down to watch it all. Oprah says that she is going to play it now, and that Sarah can have whatever response she wants and be as truthful as she can be.

The video plays showing Sarah agreeing to be paid large amounts of money for access to Prince Andrew. She is drinking and smoking. The video is 3 minutes long, at the end of the tape, Sarah takes the computer case with $40,000 inside.

Sarah thanks Oprah for showing that to her, and she speaks in the third person about the person on the video who looks so tired and exhausted. She says that she had drunk too much, she thinks she was drinking wine. She had been on the road for so many months that she is now in the gutter, she is exhausted. She tried to be prefect for 25 years. As a 12 year old she made food her friend.

Oprah says that it is interesting that Sarah talks about the person in the tape as “she” in the third person and that Sarah said that it’s sad, really sad. Sarah says that there aren’t that many words to describe an act of such gross stupidity. She just called her girls and they said that it is a fresh clean start. Sarah says that she is a good mum and that her daughters can learn from her mistakes. She has got to the middle of the onion, all the skin has been pulled away and that people are seeing the dark and light of Sarah merged together. She has made a mistake and has to forgive herself, she is in the eye of the hurricane right now. Oprah says that this video made her sad because by the time you get to this point you have been spiraling downwards to this point. Sarah thanks her for realizing that.

The video tape was seen around the world. This is the first time that Sarah has seen it all. She says that she was not drunk, but she had been drinking. She remembers that she was in floods of tears when she was rubbing her eyes. The interviewer had come recommended by a friend of hers. A friend needed $38,000 urgently, and Sarah was crying thanking him for helping the friend who also knew the interviewer. Sarah says that this is about how her actions have hurt millions of people, she believes that from this she has freed Sarah from the treadmill of her life. Diana, her mother and her best friend all died at the same time and she felt very alone.

Three weeks prior to this, a friend called and said that she had a friend who liked Sarah, who wanted to help Sarah. She said that the friend was recently divorced with 3 kids and wanted her advice. The journalist took on the identity of a man in India who was a family friend of her friend, a big business man in India. They met earlier and talked about his fictitious wife and children. Oprah asks her to clarify why she would meet a stranger to talk about his wife and problems. Sarah says that a friend introduced them and that the man wanted to help her invest in her children’s books and animations. He was introduced as a business man. In her first meeting she thought that he was a News of the World journalist, and she had him sign a confidentiality agreement. She thought then that she wouldn’t see him again.

She says that she instinctively knew that he was a reporter, and she told him that. She says that she met him again in London, he said that he had just flown in for dinner. She sent friends to have him sign a confidentiality agreement and he said he’d do it in the morning when his lawyer was available. She went ahead anyway, that is how desperate she was.

Oprah asks how come Sarah doesn’t have access to $40,000, and says that it seems incomprehensible to the world. Sarah says that she is divorced from the royal family and cant ask them for money. She did WeightWatchers work for 12 years and loved that, and then she started a business but it was built on sand. She is substantially in debt, she says. She is sort of aware of the number, she thinks that she has a huge uphill battle. That is why she now has to look at bankruptcy now, but before she was looking for a quick-fix in places that she wouldn’t normally look.

Oprah wants to be clear that Sarah started this encounter to help a friend not herself. Sarah says that initially she did it for a friend and then she took a long shot to try and get money for herself. The News of the World say that they received a tip that Sarah had done something like this before. Sarah said that she doesn’t think she has, no she never has done that. Oprah asks why Sarah thinks that they set up this sting to get her? Sarah says that they are still in the middle of it, and that she has been a hugely idiotic, over-trusting woman.

Oprah says that Sarah was in a room with someone that she had instinctively not trusted asking for $500,000. Sarah says that she got to the point where you sabotage yourself and you are out of control. She hopes that people will be able to see that she was out of control and at the end of the rope. It is her and it is extraordinary to see it, she will embrace it and beg herself and the universe for forgiveness. It happened and now she has to find a way forward.

Oprah asks how she heard that it was a sting. She was on the way back from France with Beatrice when she heard. Sarah was ashamed and didn’t want to leave the room, but her daughter looked at her with her big eyes and said, “Mum, why did they do this to you?”

Oprah asks what Prince Andrew has said. Sarah wouldn’t dream of quoting him, but he is one of the finest gentle men. Andrew is a man that has always taken a matter of fact view of everything and he knows her and he reached out with such understanding. She has spoken to him many times, he wouldn’t be here without his blessing. Oprah asks if her family was aware of the spiraling and the pain. Sarah says that there was self-hatred and chronic abuse and not understanding who you are from an early age. Oprah asks if Sarah has been living beyond her means. Sarah says that she has been living as the Duchess of York, trying to keep it up. Sarah says that she has out of control behavior, running up huge debts all those issues have to be looked at. She didn’t have a plan for the $500,000, because she plucked it out the sky just sitting there. She says that the whole thing was wrong, even sitting down for dinner was wrong.

Oprah asks Sarah if it is true that she got a settlement of $20,000 a year from her divorce. Sarah flounders a little and says that she can’t break her confidentiality clause but she chose friendship with the boss, the Queen. It was more important to her to keep in with the family. Her work with WeightWatchers was her financial income. She lives now with the Prince because she couldn’t afford rent on her house. It is a short term agreement, Sarah does not want to be a burden on Andrew, he needs his life, they are divorced. Sarah has the same expenses as everyone else, and she has written lots of children’s books. Oprah is surprised that Sarah went to the Book Expo last week, but Sarah says that she must go forward from this point.

Oprah asks if Sarah will continue the charity work. Sarah says that charity work is the safest place for her, the innocence and goodness of dying children can not be negated. She has 72 schools where she learns from the true celebrities, the children. She learns from the child who forgives the person who cut his leg off. Her grandmother always said if you feel bad about yourself, give to others. Sarah says that Oprah of all people should understand that. Oprah says that she understands that sentiment. Sarah says that her Dad died of melanoma and prostrate cancer, when she was on her way to a job in Australia. She went to see him and said he didn’t look too good and he said that the show must go on. Sarah cries a little and says that the show must go on.

Oprah says that none of us are defined by our mistakes, what defines us is if we get the lesson and move forward. Oprah asks Sarah if she has learned the lesson that the spiraling was there to teach her. 1000% says Sarah, but her words are cheap, her actions will show. Oprah asks what the lesson for her has been, for her and God. Sarah says that the lesson has been chronic abuse to herself, she hasn’t dealt with her issues, she has kept going when she should have stopped to address her problems.

Oprah asks why Sarah made the decision to out herself and have this conversation with Oprah rather than go home and wait it out. Sarah says that to go to that level of gutter, you have to address why and you have to apologize. She has to say sorry. Oprah asks how the lesson begins to manifest itself, we cant just wake up and say ok today I am going to love myself. Sarah says that she is like a newborn chick, whenever anything now comes in, like a bill or an article, she is going to look at it and deal with it from a place of Sarah, not from a place of egotistical fear. Already she says going bankrupt is not the worst thing that could happen.

Oprah says that she just had an epiphany- looking at Sarah on the tape, that was a spiritually, morally, bankrupted person. Sarah says that is genius. It’s just a show, they agree. Sarah says that she remembers a wonderful lady in Sierra Leone who said that they can take your country but they can’t take your soul. She feels that she can come back from this, that she is now being authentically herself. Oprah asks if she’d like to say anything else, and Sarah thanks Oprah. That’s all. They thank each other and hold hands.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

If you are caught on camera asking for $500,000 in exchange for access to your ex-husband, you are in a bad place.

Sarah Ferguson speaks about herself in the third person when watching the video of her trading money for access.

Being an ex-Princess is not financially rewarding.

Oprah had what she called an epiphany- the person on the tape was spiritually and morally bankrupt.

Sarah says that observation is genius.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Being stung by a News of the World journalist has freed Sarah Ferguson from the treadmill of her life.