Every time a new episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show airs in 2010, we will blog along with it. If you have plenty of time, read the long version. If you are pressed for time, read the “What we learned today” summary. If you are really, really pressed for time, read the Twitter-sized summary.

Date: February 23rd, 2010
File Under: Public Service Announcement, Tragedy

Episode 33: Amanda Knox’s Family Speak Out

A pretty American college student studying abroad in Italy, an alleged sex game and a brutal murder, this story sparked a media frenzy. The Amanda Knox story, with all its shocking twists and turns, has left the public riddled with questions. Did she? Didn’t she? But whether you believe the American college student is innocent or guilty of the murder of which she’s been convicted, there is one thing everyone can agree on: Her story has become an international media sensation.While Amanda was studying abroad in Perugia, Italy, her roommate Meredith Kercher was found murdered. Today, Amanda is behind bars, sentenced to 26 years in an Italian prison for the crime, but her parents say the stories in the media couldn’t be further from the truth.

Amanda and her younger sister visited Perugia, Italy two years ago to find somewhere for Amada to live. They soon found a cottage. Amanda Knox moved to Perugia, Italy, to study abroad in 2007. She lived with three roommates—two Italians and one British exchange student, 21-year-old Meredith Kercher. She got on well with her roommates, she and Meredith both spoke English, the other two older roommates spoke Italian. On November 2, two months after Amanda moved in, Meredith’s nearly naked and bloodied body was discovered under a bedspread in her bedroom. She’d been beaten, raped and tortured. Her throat was slashed, causing her to choke on her own blood.

The Italian police say that as they began their investigation, they noticed Amanda was behaving bizarrely. She was hugging and kissing her boyfriend of two weeks, Raffaele Sollecito, outside the bedroom where Meredith’s dead body was found and reportedly performed cartwheels and splits at the police headquarters where her boyfriend was being questioned.  Over the course of the investigation, Amanda’s own recollection of the events on the night of Meredith’s murder changed. First, Amanda claimed she was at Raffaele’s house. Later, during an all-night interrogation with no attorney present, Amanda said she had a vision of being inside the house at the time of the murder. She even said she  may have heard Meredith scream. She identified the killer as Patrick Lumumba, her boss at a local bar.

A few hours later, Amanda retracted those statements, saying they had been coerced- she was hit in the back of the head by one of the police officers sho said she would make her remember. Amanda said she didn’t know what to think anymore, she was confused. The, police arrested Amanda, Raffaele and Patrick. Prosecutors claimed the murder was a result of a satanic, drug-fueled sex game turned violent and then  deadly. Their  theory made newspaper headlines around the world. Then a video of Amanda and her boyfriend buying underwear a day after the murder was released. Overnight, Amanda Knox, the sraight-A college student from Seattle became known as “the girl with the angel face and ice-cold eyes.”

The situaton got worse for Amanda when Amanda’s boss, Patrick, turned out to have an air-tight alibi. He was released from custody, and police set their sites instead on a drifter and alleged drug dealer, Rudy Guede. Forensic tests found his DNA inside Meredith’s body and in her bedroom. While the police had their three suspects in custody,  Guede was first  found guilty of murder and sentenced to 30 years in prison. Amanda’s trial lasted 15 months.  The prosecutor argued that a knife found in Raffaele’s apartment had Amanda’s DNA on the handle and Meredith’s DNA on the blade. He also said that Raffaele’s DNA was found on Meredith’s bra clasp, fueling the sex game theory. In the bathroom that Amanda and Meredith shared, police found a mix of Meredith’s blood with Amanda’s DNA.

Then it was the turn of the defense. Amanda’s attorney convinced the judge to throw out her initial statements. Amanda’s mother was called as a witness. A forensic expert for the defense team testified that the knife was too large and could not have made some of the wounds on Meredith’s neck. The defense also argued that the DNA levels on the knife were too low to be accurately measured and that the crime scene had been contaminated by careless police work. Then Amanda took the stand saying in Italian that she was afraid of having the mask of an assassin forced onto her skin

After deliberating for 11 hours, 2 judges and 6 jurors found Amanda and Raffaele guilty of murder, of sexual assault, of staging a break-in and carrying a knife. Raffaele was sentenced to 25 years and Amanda was sentenced to 26 years in prison. Rudy Guede appealed the decision against him  and a judge reduced his sentence to 16 years.Whether you believe Amanda is guilty or not is up to you,  Amanda’s parents, Edda Mellas and Curt Knox, say that Meredith’s death was a terrible tragedy, but their daughter’s story has yet to be told.

Oprah says that as parents no one wants to believe that their daughter is capable of such a thing- Oprah wants to know why she did such odd behaviour in the days after the crime, starting with Amanda’s supposed bizarre behavior in the days following Meredith’s murder. Her mother Edda says that if you know Amanda, she’s shocked. This is not a smiling girl; referring to video of Amanda hugging her boyfriend outside the house where Meredith was murdered. They’re not making out. He’s rubbing her back and comforting her. She was just shocked. She was devastated, she had been devastated for a large amount of time.

Edda says Amanda’s behavior at police headquarters,  turning cartwheels and doing splits, was another misrepresentation. She says that Amanda had been  there for 54 hours over a 91 hour period, and while doing homework, she got up to stretch. She was getting cramped, and the officers came in—they were being really friendly—and they said, Oh, you seem pretty flexible, and she said ‘Yes , I was a gymnast. They asked her if she could still do any gymnastics, and Amanda said yes and went into a split. Edda says, that was it. It was lost in translation. Amanda said that there was absolutely no cartwheels ever. Curt says that the media blows things out of proportion and especially over there. In the US we are used to having two sides to every story, over there, pretty much anyone can make up anything and they’ll print it. Edda says that much has been lost in translation, including possibly the notion of cartwheels.

Oprah asks why Amanda changed her testimony, which is never a good thing. Edda said she watched an Oprah show where a man talked about changing his testimony- he confessed to killing  a whole family or something he didn’t really do. Edda says that Amanda always, in all of her statements, maintained the bottom line was that she didn’t know what was true anymore, but she did  know that she did not have anything to do with the murder of her friend. Oprah asks about the vision that Amanda supposedly had- Edda says that the police fed her prompts, that she was encouraged to keep talking.

Edda also says that interestingly the Italian police recorded all other conversations and phone calls before and after the interrogation, but they did not tape the overnight 14 hour interrogation itself. Oprah asks who they think killed Meredith- Curt says that the evidence sure points to Rudy Guede. His DNA is all over and on Meredith  and all over the murder scene. Amanda has no fingerprints, no blood, no sweat, no hair, nothing in the room. Raffaele has nothing there other than the bra clasp, and a speck of DNA. The bra clasp was photographed on November 2nd and it was picked up 47 days later after the crime scene had been released. There had been people going back and forward so there was an extreme possibility of contamination.

Today Curt says visiting Amanda in prison is almost unbearable. Some days visits are nice and others are extremely tough. You just do the best you can. He once held Amanda for 45 minutes while she cried in his arms. Curt and Edda divorced when Amanda was only three years old but they have joined forces to help get Amanda back. Oprah can’t imagine how it must feel to visit your child in a foreign prison where she will be for 26 years. Curt says that the time she cried for 45 minutes was the worst. Oprah asks what a good day is like- she comes out bubbly, it’s different over there you get to hold her and hug her. Curt asks her what she is up to and how her schooling is going. She is still attending the University of Washington thanks to some generous professors. She is doing German and Italian studies, and she completes the assignments and Curt or Edda get them back to Washington to be graded, she is treated like any other child. Its an independent study program which gives her a light at the end of the tunnel. Then Amanda will not feel that her time there has been wasted, so she will have something when she gets out.

Oprah asks if they really believe that Amanda will get out, and if so how? Curt says she is absolutely innocent. She went through a trial by media. Inside the courtroom there is no evidence to convict her. In Italy jurors are not sequestered and the media did a character assasination in the first year and all the jurors had been exposed to that. Oprah confirms that the jurors are not questioned in any way, it’s a very different situation. Oprah says if you want to be tried, get tried in the USA. Edda says that we make mistakes too, and that their have been Oprah episodes about that. At least to begin with it’s fair, says Oprah.

Amanda’s attorney, Theodore Simon, is in the audience and says there’s no question that Amanda’s was a wrongful conviction. We are not  immune to misplaced justice and wrongful convictions in the US, no one has a monopoly on justice. This is a prime example. He says that the audience just heard Curt speak about the lack of evidence in the case which is both profound and compelling, You’ve already portrayed how horrific this murder scene was and it was very tragic and terrible. But there was no hair, no fiber, no footprint, no shoe print, no hand print, no palm print, no fingerprint, no saliva, no sweat, no cells, no blood, no DNA of Amanda Knox in the room where Kercher was found or on her body. That’s virtually impossible to have occurred in this type of case. Oprah asks if Amanda’s initial accusation of an innocent man shows a lack of integrity. The lawyer says that we have to understand the circumstances here- she had been spoken to for many hours over a long period of time without a lawyer or interpreter. Her statements were thrown out by the Supreme Court of Italy finding that her rights had been violated. This was critical, her statements were not confessions.The prosecutor in this case labored under an indictment for abuse of office during the entire pendency of Amanda’s case and was ultimately convicted.

Her boss called her to say that she didn’t need to go into to work that night and she texted thanks, see you later.  In the U.S., that means, ‘See you tomorrow, next week, whenever.’ They took that to mean, again, lost in translation, literally you’re meeting up with him later today in a few hours to commit this horrible crime,” Edda says. So they kept holding that message up in front of her face and yelling at her and saying: ‘We know you were meeting with him. We know he was involved.’ It was the police that prompted all of that. Oprah asks if Amanda says that she was coerced under pressure- Edda says that she was hit, called a liar, told her that she’d never see her family again. They said just give us possibilities. Edda agrees that it was a trial by media and that things were printed that were not true about the case or Amanda herself. After the arrest, a  media fire erupted- Amanda was a sex crazed party girl who did drugs and murder. Edda says that Amanda admitted that she and Raffaele had smoked pot that night after watching a movie. She stayed at his house overnight.

20/20 co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas  covered the case from the very beginning, She joins Oprah from the ABC studio in NY. She says that she has never worked on a story that caused such outrage. The outrage was international; the victim was British, it happened in Italy and here in the US thousands of American families send their children overseas as exchange students. This has been a nightmarish ordeal for the Knox family, regardless of what you believe about Amanda’s guilt. There was an enormous amount of early publicity early in this case which later turned out to be untrue. For example she was in this sexy underwear store buying lingerie- Vargas was in that store, it was a Target essentially and Amanda couldn’t get home to get any of her clothes, so that makes sense. That story was sold along with the idea that she and Raffaele were planning a night of hot sex. Those kinds of stories gave a negative opinion of Amanda which never changed throughout the trial. In London the tabloids at least said Amanda Knox is guilty, but of what? Oprah says that the decision was unanimous. Elizabeth says that some jurors expressed sympathy for Amanda, for some reason, many Italians believe that she did something wrong, but they don’t know what- the fact that she said something in the interrogation then retracted it struck them as untrue. Elizabeth was struck by the early judgements on Amanda’s character that were not changed desppite a rigorous defence. During the prosecution it was like one side was saying the sky is blue while the other said that the sky is green, that’s how opposing the arguments were. An impartial expert was requested to reconcile the differences,and that request was denied. Italy gets jumpy when questions about sequestering, or the prosecutor etc arise. There was much resistance into looking at what might not have been a fair process.

Amanda has three younger sisters, Deanna, Ashley and Delaney. Deanna (21), the second-oldest, says her life has been put on hold since Amanda’s arrest. She wants Amanda back to be the older sister, she wants to be the best but Amanda is the best at being the older sister. Delaney (11) wants everything to have not happened, they won’t be a family until Amanda comes home. Ashley (15) cries because Amanda is not there, she stays strong for Amanda because she knows that she has to. She says its even harder on other people like her Dad and Edda and Amanda, she doesn’t want to say to her mom or dad that she’s sad because it makes them sad and then they worry about her and not Amanda which is who they should be worrying about. Oprah says that this says to all of us that a tragedy in the family focuses on one person but everyone is equally impacted.  Deanna says that her life is on hold, on pause. They’re all just in a waiting period, waiting for Amanda to come home. Deanna stopped going to college, she works full-time. She visits Ashley and Delaney and takes care of her parents as much as possible. She has to go on- the worst thing is when Amanda cries that her whole family’s eyes fill with tears, she doesn’t want them to cry for her. Deanna says she has be strong and keep her feelings inside for the sake of her family. Curt says that because he spends so much time in Italy, he isn’t always aware of what the other girls are going through. He knows Deanna has done a fantastic job keeping them up, and hopefully this will all be done soon and Amanda’ll get to come home and they’ll get to carry on with their lives. As the mom, Edda says that you want to take care of them, but they all worry about us. They’re all putting on brave faces for each other.

Every Friday night, Amandas friends sleep over at her house so they are all together for the Saturday morning call. Her family and friends gather at Edda’s house to be there for the call. The ten minutes goes by really quick. Deanna sleeps in Amanda’s bed every night after the call.The phone rings and the cameras are turned off.  Edda says Amanda sounded okay, she was upbeat. They go around the table and speak, it’s great to hear her voice. Saying goodbye is really hard, you want to talk forever. They asked to turn off the cameras because the footage would result in their calls being taken away from them. It is bittersweet to hear her, Amanda said tell Oprah hi, I love her. Edda’s eyes fill with tears, Oprah holds her hand. Amanda said  ’See if you can thank all the people that have written me or donated money to the defense fund or whatever,’ because she can’t. She doesn’t have enough time to write everybody back and she’s getting hundreds of letters from people, and she wanted to find a way to thank them. Oprah asks if Amanda is putting on a good face for them- Curt says yes, its nice to hear her voice. She’d always ask how they were doing , even when she was in the courtroom.  Curt’s eyes well up. Oprah asks about the 45 minutes when Amanda cried in Curts arms, Curt takes a few breaths and says trying to explain to your daughter why she is a position when she’s completely innocent… Edda says that you have to try to explain that Amanda is in the middle of this massive mistake that has to be fixed. They both say their hardest moments are trying to explain to Amanda why she is in this position.

Oprah wants to talk about MySpace pages- foxy knoxy was a name given to Amanda as a soccer-playing 8 year old – she put it up there for a joke, no one in her adult life called her that. The media took elements of her MySpacee page out of context to make her into someone that she was not. Oprah asks if they ever had a shadow of a doubt that Amanda could be guilty? Never. Did they ask her point blank? Edda says that she was the first to see Amanda after the arrest and she was confused. Once Amanda told her what had hapened, it was clarified- it was a mistake that had to be cleared up. Amanda has always maintained point blank that she had nothing to do with this, that Meredith was her friend, they were great friends.

Oprah asks if they have spoken  to the family of Meredith Kercher. Curt says that during interviews, they’ve tried to express their condolences and the sorrow for the loss of their daughter. The Kercher’s have experienced the worst phone call a parent could ever have. They still have a chance with Amanda. The Kercher’s don’t with their daughter, and until they know that Amanda had nothing to do with it, Curt doesn’t know how he would feel as a parent receiving that type of call. Edda says that lawyers say that now is not the time.

Amanda’s parents are now looking to the future and trying to plan how they will free their daughter. They are hoping that a document from the jury on why they found her guilty will help their cause. Curt says ”We’re waiting for this motivation document, from there, that will allow us to draft the appeal and approach how we’re going to go about it.” The lawyer says that this case makes no legal or common sense. He likes to believe that it shouldn’t matter where the prosecution takes place, there is simply insufficient evidence.  If you believe the theory that in 3 weeks Amanda went to Italy and turned into satanic ritualistic murderer, if you can get past that you’ll realise there is no forensic evidence that Amanda had anything to do with the murder. This has been a horrible experience for the family.

On the day that Amanda Knox was sentenced, Meredith Kercher’s brother, Lyle, made this statement: “Ultimately, we are pleased with the decision, pleased that we’ve got a decision, but it’s not a time for celebration. At the end of the day,its not a moment of triumph, at the end of the day we’re all gathered here because our sister was brutally murdered and taken away from us.”

Oprah says thank you all for being here.We’re all mindful that at the heart of the story is the tragic and senseless death of Meredith Kercher; we’d also like to wish her family much  peace. Another reason to stop talking in your hands free cell phone  in your car- 600,000 traffic accidents happen a year as a result of talking on the phone according to a Harvard study. Go online and take the no phone zone pledge. Bye everybody and thanks to Delaney and Ashley for taking part in the show.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

In Italy jurors are not sequestered

Oprah says if you want to be tried, get tried in the USA.

The prosecutor in this case labored under an indictment for abuse of office during the entire pendency of Amanda’s case and was ultimately convicted.

There was no hair, no fiber, no footprint, no shoe print, no hand print, no palm print, no fingerprint, no saliva, no sweat, no cells, no blood, no DNA of Amanda Knox in the room where Meredith Kercher was found or on her body.

A tragedy in the family focuses on one person but everyone is equally impacted.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

In the US we are used to having two sides to every story, over there, pretty much anyone can make up anything and they’ll print it in the papers.

Date: February 22nd, 2010
File Under: Entertainment
2 comments

Episode 32: That’s Incredible!

Amazing. Let me just take it in, says Oprah. She  knew they were building this down here but she just came down now. This is a true chocolate lovers dream- the set today is made from 100% pure Godiva chocolate. Godiva Godiva Godiva says Oprah. Everything is edible except Oprah’s name; the walls, the fireplace, oh my gosh thats so great with the hand carved milk chocolate logs… Oh my, those are hand carved. These are chocolate? The chandelier is chocolate, wow. The books are chocolate , the frames, the floors and the painting of the Chicago skyline is chocolate. Wowie kazowies. Oprah says they better eat this when the show is over, the crowd cheer. Everybody should come on up and have a chocolate good time – they made it while wearing plastic gloves-and then they’ll be so high they’ll be swinging from the chandelier. Even the chairs are chocolate. Larry Abel and Raymond McCallister are the Godiva designers responsible for this extraordinary vision. Here’s what it took to create this.

800 boxes filled with 52 different kinds of Godiva chocolate were sent half way across the country to the Harpo studios. More than 15000 pieces brought this indulgent vision to light. They molded the vision from dark, white and milk chocolate, truffles and ganache. Chocolate is the glue that holds it together. Oprah says that love is in the details. They spent over 20 hours stringing together chocolates with string and wax thread to make the chandelier. 1400 man hours later… it takes a village, it takes a big one. Oprah says that she wishes we could smell it.

She asks the designers how you know what is inside a box of Godiva chocolates, they say the guide tells you everything, but when you work with it as much as they do, they know the range inside out. Oprah bites into one and says that it is so good. She asks what was the hardest part. Where do they start… stringing the individual chocolates as beads for the chandelier, one by one; the mosaic walls that they never know how they’ll look so sometimes they start over. The chocolates should last the duration of the show, even under the lights, unless as Raymond says, the audience gets really hungry. Oprah promises the audience a chocolate eating good time after the show. Thanks to Larry and Raymond and the team from Godiva. Oprah is going to take the chocolate book and put it in her freezer, how about that?

Moving on, before this set melts, this hour is full of entertaining stories to make you say wowie kazowie. This man has the fastest fingers on the planet, he’s been called the David Beckham of classical music. This David, DAvid Garrett  was recently named the fastest violinist in the world by the Guiness Book of Records. He performed The Flight of the Bumblebee in a blistering 66 seconds. His repertoire ranges from Mozart to Metallica, bridging classical to rock. David Garrett is here to perform his world record rendition of The Flight of the Bumblebee. The crowd go crazy, Oprah thanks him and says wow. Even the bumblebees are beating their wings for him. If you do the math, he plays 13 notes an second. He started at age 4 and just practised alot. Oprah asks if there is a lot of pressure to stay the best and says that most important is the pressure he puts on himself to remain the best and perform the best he can.

Setting the stage for our next guest, Rob Surette is a rapid fire portrait painter; in  less than 2 minutes he will paint a 6 foot painting of a famous person. David will play some atmospheric music to set some ambience, this is called Summer. David plays, Rob paints, the clock counts down. The painting is of Albert Einstein. Oprah laughs. Fantastic, she says and the audience claps. With a minute to go, Oprah did not know who the picture was of, but she asks Rob, how do you do that? As a kid he always won the art fair and his grandmother was very supportive. Now he wants to inspire the world. Oprah says her heart was pounding. More information can be found on Rob’s speedy portrait painting on Oprah.com, and David’s self-titled CD is out now.

If you think this looks crazy you might be right. They call themselves birdmen for obvious reasons. They wear special suits which fill up with air so that they have wings, then they fly through the air at up to 140mph. These men hone their technique with up to  a hundred of flights a year. It’s dangerous hobby requiring years of practice, bravery and skill;  they sometimes come dangerously close to mountains. For the few who practice this very extreme sport, they says there is no high like it. JT Holmes is one of the original birdmen. He was going to join the show by Skype, but the power went down in his neighborhood in Paolo Alto, so he joins us by phone. Oprah has one of the suits with wings. Oprah asks why he does it- JT replies why wouldnt he want to do it? Extreme sports are so popular because you get to catch air and go fast. Oprah says that on the tape he looks like she does in her flying dreams. He likes to get as close to the walls of cliffs as possible- he like to follow the beautifully unique mountain line. He lost his best friend to this sport which is a constant reminder to be extremely careful. Oprah says that he looks like Avatar, and he says that he will go see the film.   Thanks JT, thanks so much

The next performance, is one that you have to see to believe. The Russian Bar Trio high flying acrobatic act. Few people have been able to master this act which requires intense skill and concentration. Two men hold a bar while a woman performs acrobatics leaping up in the sky, tumbling and landing on the beam. Oprah watches open-mouthed. Wow wow wow wow wow wow says Oprah, that’s great, that’s fantastic. They are from Canada, Christine says that she has the easy part and holding her up is the hard part. One of them says its like a grand piano hitting their shoulder every time she lands- her body weight plus g-force is like 500 pounds of weight each time. Wow says Oprah, that’s why you’re out of breath. Thank you.

One look will tell you she’s not your typical teenager. Marvadene “Bubbles” Anderson is 6′10″. She is  the tallest 16 year old girl on the planet, and she’s still growing. The girls basketball coach at the Rutgers Prep School signed her on the spot . As long as she can make the basket, all she has to do is turn and make the shot. Off court she is adjusting to being a tall teenager. She wants to tell all the tall people who feel so alone, be happy and love yourself and people will love you.

Bubbles and Oprah hug. So one of the things that is so interesting to Oprah, people are always saying as teenagers that they were always trying to fit in. Bubbles says fitting in places physically can be a problem, but not with other people as she has a good personality. She says America is a great place to be tall  because you can use your height for more things than in Jamaica. Here you can play volleyball, basketball whatever. When she was 12-13, she was 6′4″. She felt bad because she started playing sports at 14 because she felt awkward. But she found out that being tall means that she can do stuff that’s cool. She’s not dating yet, she thinks it may be hard. Oprah asks how tall do doctor’s think that she’ll grow to be?   7′1″. She loves being tall here and she’s doing great things with her height. Oprah says that America is the greatest country in the world, that we can do great things here. Bubbles lives with family friends in New Jersey so she can attend Rutgers Prep, her mom and sister are still in Jamaica. They are very happy that she is strong here and in a new environment. Oprah asks how she makes people at ease with her height- she always answers their questions with a smile, she’s always smiling. She was signed on the spot for basketball at Rutgers Prep, she only started playing 4 months ago. She wants to be a pediatrician and  a professional basketball player . Her coach is in the audience and she says that she could be headed to the WNBA. Her potential is incredible and if she continues to work at her goals, she’ll end up at the WNBA. Bubbles says that teenagers are all different but that people shouldn’t feel left out, everyone should embrace what they have because god gave it to them for a reason. If they appreciate themselves they’ll be appreciated in return. Oprah says she loves what Bubbles said about loving yourself and then people will love you, she says Bubbles is a smart girl. They grab hands. The name Bubbles came from her jovial personality as a baby.

It was one of the most incredible thing Oprah had ever seen, Planet Earth gave s a unique view of our world. The BBC and the Discovery Channel are back with a new series, Life, which features animals great and small, ugly, really ugly  and charming, industrious and fearsome. The camera crew spent 4 years tracking across the globe  following animal doing things never before captured on film. Like komodo dragons stalking and killing  a water buffalo. One camera man spent 3 weeks hiding in a camoflage shack to capture the never before seen mating ritual of the rare Vogelcop Bowerbird. Its a series as monumental,  breathtaking and magical as life itself. Incredible. Oprah liked Planet Earth so much she asked to narrate the whole series; be sure to watch Life starting on Discovery on March 21st.

3 years ago on the Oprah Show, they met the world’s tallest dog, Gibson. Unfortunately he passed away last summer at age 7, he had a great life but left giant shoes to fill. Meet George. His owners call him Giant George, he is 7′3″ from nose to tail, he is 100 lbs larger than the average great dane, he’s 245 lbs. If he steps on you it hurts. His bed is a queen size bed, originally he had a dog crate but he outgrew that,  then he had a twin bed and outgrew that. He eats 110lbs of dog food a month, they spend $250-300 a month on his food and treats. He can eat a treat out he bottom of the sink. His bladder is amazing he can go a whole day and night without going out. At the dog park he gets comments all the time asking if he’s a horse. The Guiness Book of Records  measured  George last week- he is the biggest dog that they have ever seen. The record to beat was 42.25″ high and he was 43″. George is here with his human dad, David. Wow says Oprah, that is big. That’s a big guy. They sit, George sits on the sofa. At the state fair, David said that his dog was bigger than the lions. He is a sweet and beautiful dog, his life expectancy is only 7 or 8 years, He drives around in a golf cart which he loves. Oprah says look at his sweet eyes and  thanks to them for coming in.

It started as dorm room fun for two tech savvy students, Sam and Kurt. They take a song and Sam sings every single part separately and then they add some digital magic, voila. It’s all Sam singing an entire song at once. Their You Tube sensation got 5 million hits, it has caught on internet fire. Singing his Michael Jackson medley here is Sam, Sam and Sam. Oprah can not believe it, they hug. They were just sitting in their dorm, and they wondered if people would watch their videos and they have, they have loved their videos. This is what they do in their spare time.  Kurt comes up on the stage- he was recording a duet with Sam and a girl and the girl flaked out at the last minute so Kurt suggested that Sam did it this way. Sam is a math major at Yale and Kurt is a Classical Greek major. Sam says that this has improved his time management and it all works out somehow. That’s too cool says Oprah, thanks to both of them.

Its one of the most popular toys of all times. Etch-a-Sketch artist George Vlosich has made a fine art of drawings on the Etch-a-Sketch done from one single line. Check out these Etch-a-Sketched portraits of Elvis, The Beatles and our President. Some of Georges’ portraits take up to 80 hours. Oprah didn’t know that the Etch-a-Sketch can draw curves, her audience does. Art has always been important to George, when he was 10 he picked up the Etch-a-Sketch and did a picture of the capitol building in the backseat of a car trip to DC. He parents and him couldn’t believe how well it turned out; they show a photograph. It was another way for him to express his creative talent. He made a special artwork for Oprah of her 3 dogs. It’s permanent piece of artwork, people can commission pictures at gvetchedintime.com. Oprah’s image took 15-20 hours. Don’t y’all think that’s amazing says oprah? The crowd applaud, Thanks very much it’s a great gift. Thanks George, thanks Godiva for the incredible chocolate set that the audience will eat with Oprah. Something incredble to do for yourself is to take the no phone pledge with the 120,000 other people who have taken the pledge. Go online now. Now the audience and Oprah go up to the stage and Oprah gives away the chocolate flowers in a vase and the chocolate chess set…

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

If you appreciate yourself you’ll be appreciated in return. If you love yourself, you’ll be loved by others.

The biggest dog in the world is really big.

The tallest 16 year old in the world is really tall.

The fastest violin player in the world plays really fast.

Oprah narrates Life, the new series from the makers of Planet Earth.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

America is the greatest country in the world,  we can do great things here that are really big or fast or scary or made out of chocolate.

Date: February 19th, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment

Episode 31: Fridays Live with Shaun White

It’s Friday live in Chicago, Team USA are flying high at the Winter Olympics. NBC’s Matt Lauer  is here live by satellite , Oprah shows Matt her Canadian Olympic mittens which she says are a hot item. Matt says that he is so humiliated that no one can get the Canadian Olymmpic mittens, they have scoured the country far and wide.. and Oprah shows up wearing them. Oprah says she has connections. Matt says that he should have known that. Last week she said her audience members said that she should have some. Matt shows some other hot souvenir items. The opening ceremony garb worn by the US team are very hot- the jackets, scarf and hat. They get a shot of Oprah in the studio and Matt says they might need a bigger hat- Oprah says she has a big ole head. Matt shows the mohawk hat, and says it’s for you Oprah. He shows her the umbrella with a hockey stick handle. Oprah says that is cool but she won’t be wearing the mohawk hat. Oprah asks what Matt’s favorite Olympic moment has been so far. Matt says when Seth Wescott won the snowboard medal coming from so far back and when Canadian Alexandre Bilodeau won the first gold for Canada on Canadian soil, when he stood for the Canadian national anthem. The hottest item in Vancouver is standing next to Matt right now, the men’s figure skating champion Evan Lysacek. The crowd go wild. Oprah says there is dancing in Napaville right now. Oprah asks if he knew when he came off the ice that he had done it? He says he has accomplished what he set out to do, he wanted to have his best performance here in the moment that mattered. It hasn’t begun to sunk in, it feels great. He could have stood on the podium for hours. He keeps reliving it. To the young skaters out there, Evan would like to say that you have tough days and great days as an athlete, but if you are in it for the right reasons, if you really love basketball or football or skating, on the tough days your love of the sport will get you through and push you and motivate you every day. Oprah sings that he looked so beautiful carrying the American flag. Matt will be back at 7am on the Today Show tomorrow. Matt says hats off to Evan, that words like perfection and  flawless are being used to describe his performance last night.

Lindsey Vonn from Minnesota, is here by satellite after winning the women’s gold for downhill skiing. The crowd go wild. Oprah asks Lindsey if it has sunk in- she says no, not at all. She was so overwhelmed with emotion after the event, but it’s amazing. she put the medal on again last night and she can’t believe she has one it seems so surreal. Oprah asks where she’s keeping it? On her nightstand right next to her bed. It is true that she cried for two hours afterwards. Yes, she says it was crazy and she couldn’t stop, she couldn’t say a sentence, there was too much emotion, too much going on, she couldn’t control it. She was thinking that everything she had worked for her whole life had come true. That she finally did it after so much pressure and expectations was more than she ever hoped for. Oprah said we were all heartsick yesterday when she fell, but Lindsey feels good for the Super G. She was disappointed when she fell, she was skiing well and felt that she could have been in contention for a medal, but that’s life. She feels good for tomorrow and she’ll do her best. Oprah says that they have been talking about Lindsey posing for Sports Illustrated. She asks if it’s scarier to be in her swimsuit or speeding down a mountain? Lindsay says in a swimsuit certainly, as you are totally exposed, everything is hanging out there. Oprah says she’s looking good girl, looking good. Thank you Lindsey, and good luck tomorrow. Oprah has some good news from the Hudson Bay Company, not only does Oprah have the mittens, everyone in the studio audience has the mittens. The crowd give a standing ovation, as women distribute the mittens to everyone.

Shaun White is in the studio! He’s known as the Flying Tomato, the animal, the undisputed master of the half pipe. The 23 year old  is one of the superstars of the games, he started snowboarding at age 6 and turned pro at 13. He started to win and win, beating people twice his age. Shaun first won gold in Turino and now he is flying high with multi-million deals, video games, the whole lot. His gravity defying stunts and  his signature red hair, make him one of the most recognisable athletes in the Olympic games. He is a two time gold medalist, he flew all night from Vancouver, come in Shaun. The crowd goes insane. They hug. He gives Oprah the medal to hold and the crowd shouts USA. She says it’s very heavy; he doesn’t know how much it weighs. He says that what is interesting about the medals  is that they are all cut from one piece and if you put them together again there is a picture. They agree that’s cool. Sean says that Matt got Oprah ahat and he did one better and gave Oprah an official Team USA snowboarding jacket. She says thank you, the crowd applaud. Oprah says that Shaun’s signature move is the Double McTwist 1260, she asks him to talk them through it as they watch it. As he takes off he says that it’s all about commitment, the whole trick is blind, he can’t see where he going until the very end. They play it again and slow it down. He has to know he’ll land it before he takes off, right here he is trying to spot his landing. He’s upside down. The edges are marked with blue and he prays he’s on the inside of the blue, not the outside. Oprah asks him how it feels at that moment. He says it’s hard to describe- you plan and dream for this day and everything builds up, It’s like reading a book, once you’ve read a couple of chapters you don’t remember what you have just read. He’s just in it, he can’t describe it. He knows how the bubble at the end feels. Oprah says that it is such a dangerous trick and he really had the gold wrapped up, so why risk it. He’s been working on this trick for 2 years, it’s been his best friend and worst enemy. At the X-Games, he had a spectacular crash.. the crowd whoop. He took a good hit to his cheek and had to bounce back. A lot of people asked why he got back up, but he had to.  He doesn’t give up easily, he got back up, the crowd goes wild. He said it did hurt, it was not his favorite time. He says he has to get straight back up or else it will affect him mentally. He ran immediately back to the top and did the trick. O says that he is the definition of getting back up after a fall. She asks how much he trains- he trains 1-2 hours a day where he does intensive stuff. Oprah asks if he trains in secret. He says that with the Olympics coming up they wanted it to be special so they did the big thing out in the Colorado wilderness. Some of the crowd cheer. Oprah says hello. He was with Red Bull and they did Project X and built a half pipe in the wilderness, only accessible by helicopter or snow mobile. They added a foam pit, the icing on the cake, so he could try tricks and safely land. There were moments learning the trick in the foam and then you actually have to do it… and his hands were shaking.

He says he didn’t think anyone waas watching his air guitar solo during the medal ceremony. Oprah says that everyone feels a great connection to him, and he says he feels connected to us. Oprah asks when he knew that this was his dream. He took every step towards his dream and it happened. Oprah asks if everyone was always supportive. When he first started doing snowboarding, there was no money, no Olympics, no X Games but his parents recognised his talent and pursued it. His mom runs away when he competes because it is too hard to watch. When he is spinning around, he is preparing for the next turn, it’s a mental preparation to find the next wall. He says he’s relaxed and at the top, he has fun and cracks jokes, but at the start gate it’s like a different person, he gets the confidence and, like a horse in the start gate, he’s ready to go. Oprah says she will never get the feeling he has. He says they’ll get  her up there. Oprah says no. Oprah says that millions of girls have a crush on him. He says he had a girlfriend for 4 years who was really supportive of him, but he hasn’t really had time to date or anything. He’s on the road all the time, it’s hard to date him. He has two golds, which is nice, beyond what he can fathom. He’s thinking of 2014 a bit, why would he not want to experience this again? He has met Joe Biden, now he’d love to meet the President. Oprah is pretty certain that is going to happen. Thanks to Shaun and congratulations.

Big news on Wednesday, a judge released 8 of 10 missionaries held in prison in Haiti, where they’ve been there for two weeks. This is what happened. On January 29th, 10 American  missionaries were arrested trying to leave the country with 33 children that they claimed were orphans. They were headed for an orphanage in the Dominican Republic and were charged with abduction and thrown in jail. Haitian authorities launched an investigation and learned that some of the children had parents. But those parents testified that they had willingly handed over their children in the hope of giving them a better life. So on Wednesday, a Haitian judge freed 8 of the 10, and yesterday they came home. Allegations have been made about the group leader, Laura Silsby, with questions about her intentions and financial motives . Jim Allen and his wife Lisa join the studio by satellite from Amarillo Texas. Oprah asks why Jim went to Haiti. After the coverage of the devastation on TV there was a real need for people to help and he has construction skills and experience to help the Haitian people. The trip fell into his lap, and with 2 days notice he was on his way to Haiti. When he first left he didnt know what to expect, he knew he had some skills and just wanted to help.  He says that they travelled around different orphanages in Port-Au-Prince, they met the director of two of the orphanages they visited. They brought out the kids one by one, and said  they had no mother or father and could the group take them to take care of them. They thought that they were taking the children to a temporary orphanage in Dominican Republic. It was a 45 room hotel and they were going to take care of the kids there. He was going to be there for 3-4 weeks then other teams were coming in behind them. He found going to jail to be quite a shock and not what they intended. Oprah says as someone who also works in other countries to help children, she can’t imagine how it is to try and help but be thrown in jail. Jim says that it was hard in jail, but they treated them as well as they could with what they had. They slept on a concrete floor but they had one hot meal a day which was actually good, but there were millions of people out in the street. It was bad for them, but better than for the other people. Lisa, Jim’s wife, was not too worried that he would be coming home soon, but she was concerned with the situation. They couldn’t communicate until Jim could use the attorney’s phone. Oprah says that there are allegations that the group leader planned to make a profit from the kids, to charge big fees for getting them placed. He doesn’t know anything about that, he got no indication of that at all. He hadn’t met the others, except for two,  until he was at Miami airport. but it seemed that people were legitimately concerned about helping the children. Oprah asks if there is any truth that 8 of them signed a note saying that they had been misled by Laura and handed it to the press. He says no, not at all, there is no truth in that. He had no ill feelings towards the Haiti authorities; it was a shock and hard to process but they were treated well. The legal processs is very different to here, but he felt that as soon as the story was told and the facts come out, then they’d be home. It was great to sleep in his own bed. Thank you both.

People magazine calls Lady Antebellum country music’s hottest band and just last month they won a Grammy. They play a song. Oprah says we’ll be right back. Footage plays from Madison WI asking Hilary from  Lady Antebellum  if she wants to play on Oprah, she screaches and cries. The first time they heard their single on the radio, Hillary cried too. Oprah grew up in Nashville, and went to East Nashville High School , and back then, country was country, and what happened? Dave says that they are still writing about the same things, they try to write honest songs about things that they have been through. They are excited that people are gravitating towards them. They write together and sometimes bring in a co writer. Dave will strum the guitar, the other two will mumble something and lay it down. Oprah says that heartbreak makes a lot of good music. Amen to that says Hillary. Lady Antebellum are currently on tour with David McGraw. They are ready to take the pledge, no texting and driving. Sean White has signed his no-phone zone pledge. Thank you very much everyone, have a great weekend.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Oprah says that she has a big head.

It’s scarier to model fro Sports Illustrated than it is to speed down a mountain.

The Double McTwist 1260 has been Shaun White’s best friend and worst enemy for the last 2 years.

Shaun White wants to meet Obama, Oprah is sure it will happen.

Being jailed in Haiti is bad but not as bad as being out on the streets.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The Olympics are awesome, winning gold feels great, there is some stylish souvenir clothing, most of which Oprah now owns.

Date: February 18th, 2010
File Under: Family, Relationships

Episode 30: Miraculous Family Reunions

Have you ever had a falling out with a family member or friend?  It happens to most of us at some point in our lives and we’re just  too stubborn to make the first move , or unwilling to  forgive  and then it festers. Many people have at least one person they have unfinished business with, or are holding a grudge, too scared to be the first to apologise

Ask yourself, is it worth it? Troy Dunn sees every day how these issues can damage our lives. He is a high profile investigator specialising in reunions. He says he has brought almost 40,000 people back togather. Every week he tracks down birth moms and dads, missing friends, and lost relatives on his reality show, The Locator. 20 years ago he started searching for his mother’s birth parents. He is part detective part therapist. They show footage of him reuniting a birth mom with her daughter, they are delighted. Not everyone gets the happy reunion that they wish for. They show footage of a woman waiting to meet her birth mother- she is alive and well but won’t be coming to the meeting. The daughter is devastated. For others it’s a dream come true- a family of sisters split up and placed in foster homes  as young children find each other.

Oprah welcomes Troy to the studio. He says that one of the greatest myths is that time heals all wounds- it’s not true emotionally, maybe physically it is. Oprah says that Dr Phil used to be here and now has his own show, as does Dr Oz who used to be on Oprah’s show, she remembers that Phil taught her that time don’t heal a damn thing- it’s what you do with the time that helps you heal or not. Troy says that any wound left untreated gets worse; sometimes to protect ourselves we decide that we don’t want that person in our life and there comes a point at which our wound has created paralysis. Mary says that she is being eaten alive by guilt that she has felt for the last 25 years Her family asked Troy to step in. He went to visit Mary and her biological daughter LaKya. 32 years ago, Mary suffered many miscarriages and had a stillborn baby. To help heal their hearts, she and her husband became foster parents. Tamisha was two years old when she joined their family. They just loved her, she lit up their lives. To Mary, Tamisha was hers, she called her mommy. They wanted to adopt her but were unable, they were under the impression that she would go back to her birth mother. They lived happily for 5 years, during which time Mary had a healthy baby girl. When Tamisha was 7 years old, Mary was notiified by social services that Tamisha had been adopted by another family. They came in, took her things, and took Tamisha. Tamisha was crying and Mary had to stay in the house trying not to scream. She feels she never got the chance to explain anything. Troy says that Tamisha was basically an only child, then Mary had a baby and then Tamisha was sent away. Mary has struggled for years with the guilt, she just wants Tamisha to know that she loved her from the very start.

After 7 days of searching, Troy tracked down Tamisha in New York. he wanted to find out what she remembers from her early years with Mary. Tamishawas traumatised, she was crying hysterically trying to hold onto Mary. It was her home, she was devastated, it took her two days to stop crying. She felt like Mary had her own child and then she wasn’t needed anymore. Oprah says that is terrible for a child. Troy asked Tamisha if she would be willing to meet Mary. Troy tells Mary that he found Tamisha and spoke with her and it was almost like the 32 year old lady turned back into a 7 year old talking about the worst day of her life. She has wrestled with feelings of rejection. for her whole life. She is in the building, not in New York , she is walking in right now. They cry and hug. Mary says to her that she never stopped loving her for the last 23 years. Tamisha thought that Mary didn’t want her. It took a long time for her to call her adopted mother mom. Oprah says boo hoo boo hoo. That was almost a year ago. Mary and Tamisha are here in the studio. Oprah says we are passing the Kleenex in here. Tamisha didn’t know what was going on that day she didnt understand how she could go to  a new home when she was at home. She thought she was being replaced by Mary’s biological daughter. Tamisha’s adoptive mom is in the audience. Tamisha thought about Mary and had flashbacks at school when the others talked of their childhood. Before the reunion she hadn’t seen photos of herself before the age of 7. Mary wished that she had been able to explain what happened and what was going on. Once Tamisha went to her new home, Mary was not allowed to make contact. Social Services said she was doing fine. Troy says it is the way the system is set up, to keep distances for safety’s sake. It has no consideration of feelings. A 7 year old can not distinguish between a birth or adoptive or foster mom, she just knows who loves her. Oprah says it’s true what they were saying during the break, blood is not thicker than water, Troy thinks they should stop saying that. “Who loves you when you need them, that’s your family”, Oprah says that phrase should be their new thing. She loves that, Troy says she can have it. Oprah felt it was almost primal to see them meet again- Mary says seeing Tamisha again released alot of those concerns, knowing she looks so well. Oprah observes that Tamisha has lost weight since then, Tamisha says that her confidence has grown and she is a more active participant in life. Troy says  people don’t have peace until they find all the pieces. Oprah says he is a quote-a-minute. Troy says the calmness and understanding from peace gives you a glow. Mary’s birth daughter says they grew up knowing all about Tamisha. Clement, Mary’s husband says that Tamisha was a great girl, like she still is now. Oprah calls them a wonderful foster family.

Troy’s new series premiers on WE TV on March 3rd. If you want to track someone down, why wait?  The hardest news he has to pass on is that people were too late, that he found them but they passed. If you wait for timing to be everything, you’ll end up with nothing. Cindy is struggling with terminal cancer and wants to find her dad more than anything in the world. She may only have 4 months to live. With 4 children, she still feels the void of no father. Her parents split before she was born. She met him at age 12 and spend a few nights with him. Just as they were getting to know each other, her mother took her and left town. She was heartbroken that she never saw him again. With limited info, Troy met Doug, Cindy’s father. He got married when he was in the military, and by the time he got home, his wife had left with another man. He never got to see Cindy until she was 11-12. After Cindy’s mom moved, no one would tell him where they had gone. He wants to be in contact with Cindy. Troy took Doug to see Cindy for the first time in two decades. They hug and cry. She shrieks, they missed each other.

Cindy is coping, she says she has had a rough day today. Cindy and Doug join Oprah by satellite from Alabama. Her Dad moved in with her and takes her to all her doctor’s visits. He doesn’t want to miss anymore of her life. He takes the kids to school everyday and takes the kids to ballgames. She has two 14 year olds,  a 12 year old and  a 9 year old. Doug never gave up hope. Troy has a great deal of respect for how sensitive daughters can be. He won’t bring a dead-beat dad into a daughter’s life. The crowd applaud. Its important to him that they pay child support and show him that they tried to get in touch. He says that Doug is a walking heart. There are 3 sides to every story- his hers and the truth. He normally has to piece together the truth and always fact checks. Oprah says that every child wants to know why didn’t you try and find them. Doug says that he tried but got no information. Troy said that Doug documented his attempts to his satisfaction. Oprah asks Cindy if she finds this to be a miracle. Cindy says that every day for her is a miracle, she surpassed her predicted 6-8 months of life expectancy, she has been alive now for a year and   half since the diagnosis. She feels robbed of her family that she could have had for her whole life. Her dad has missed out on so much,her kids, her wedding. She doesn’t know how much longer she has left but she feels robbed. Oprah says that focusing on what is in the moment will help Cindy heal, not dwelling in the past. She thanks them for joining the show by Skype. God Bless Them, may you be healed and witness and share the miracle.

Pam Slaton is a genealogist. This mother of two makes a living tracking down missing people. Working 7 days a week and pulling all nighters she never gives up. Family is her passion; her own and other peoples. One of her most famous clients was one of the founding fathers of Hip Hop, Darryl McDaniels of Run DMC He found out her was adopted at age 35. Pam found his mother. She says it is extremely rewarding to tell people that their search is over. She always wanted to know who her birth mother was, despite loving her amazing family. She wanted to know who gave her life, she finds it a basic need. Pam takes on Linda’s case; a birth mother  looking for her daughter. She ran away from home at age 15, she lived on the streets for a few months before returning to her violent home When she found out she was pregnant, she thought that the baby would love her and that she had would finally experience real love. When she was 7 months pregnant, her social worker told her that he mom wouldn’t let the baby into the house. She raged and felt she had no choice and gave the baby up for adoption. She and Pam went back to the home for unwed mothers where the baby was born. Linda hadn’t been there for 42 years, she says it’s surreal. Linda says that the moment she gave up her daughter after the joyfulness of giving birth- she doesn’t want to go back and visit that. She knew that the last time she held her was the last time she would hold her. Linda got a college degree, worked on Wall Street, got married and had a son, but something was always missing, because you can’t find peace until you find the pieces.

Pam found Linda’s daughter. Her daughter says she’s lived her whole life dying for a family, she’s never had one. She is overwhelmed. A few days later Laura flew 2000 miles to meet her birth mother. Her childhood was difficult, she has never had anybody who cared for her. Pam tells Linda the news. Linda cries. Pam tells her to get herself together to go meet Laura. Pam tellsLinda not to be scared. Linda and Laura finally meet. They cry and hug.

Linda and Laura are in the studio, they only met yesterday.  Oprah asks how it was to wake up this morning- Linda says it is too surreal, meeting Laura and finding out that her story is not what she dreamed of for Laura’s life. But seeing her with her brother, she is so proud of her and she says that they both love each other. Oprah says that what was so moving to her is that Laura asked Pam in disbelief if Linda had been looking for her. Laura says that as a child, you have no idea why you are given up, and to find out that your birth mother wanted you, that chases away all the other thoughts. Linda had named Laura, a name with meaning. Pam says that this is validation that the birth mother has never forgotten their child. It heals a piece of the child, its a gift. Oprah says that everyone is looking to know that they matter, and to have been given a name would mean that you matter. Linda met three of her grandchildren, what a day. They are amazing little children, says Linda, Laura has done such a fabulous job. She says you never know what the person has gone through and if you made the right decision, she questioned herself all those years, but seeing those little ones… God, that’s amazing. Oprah says that Troy says that things don’t always end up well. This has only been 24 hours and Oprah is sure this will get more intense and there may be anger and resentment. Its hard to stay in the I loove you stage. Pam says that it is a balancing act and that it can be anti-climactic. The search and find is such a rollercoster of highs and lows, an amazing expecrience. Then you realise that you are in a position where you are strangers but you are supposed to have this love and you have to manage it. Linda says that after meeting Laura yesterday, she had a complete meltdown because she had a fantasy life for laura, living in a castle, and that wasn’t there. Laura says that she had a very hard life. Oprah asks Linda’s son how it feels to meet his sister. He always knew about his adopted sister and he couldn’t be happier.

Oprah says that they have used enough tissue in the show today. Oprah asks Troy to speak to thse holding back on reconnecting with their loved ones. Troy says that as we come to grips with our mortality, especially those towards the end of their life-clock, you think of the loved and unloved ones. There is still time to move the unloved ones over to the loved ones list. There is still time. Pam addresses the idea that a birth parent search is a rejection of the family you have. She says people just need to know their chapter one, where they originated from, it does not mean that there is a lack of love.  Oprah says excellent.

Thanks to Pam and Troy. There are 19 states banning texting when drivig. If yours doesn’t, speak up . Speak up, speak out ,and write to your representatives and make your car a no-phone zone now.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

One of the greatest myths is that time heals all wounds.

Who loves you when you need them, that’s your family.

People don’t have peace until they find all the pieces.

Everyone is looking to know that they matter,

There is still time to move the unloved ones over to the loved ones list.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Make peace with your loved ones: If you wait for timing to be everything, you’ll end up with nothing.

Date: February 17th, 2010
File Under: Family, Public Service Announcement, Tragedy

Episode 29: Serial Killer John Wayne Gacy’s Sister & Mass Murderer Jim Jones’ Son Speak Out

We’ve all heard the expression don’t drink the Kool-Aid which means don’t follow the crowd, think for yourself. Do you know where the expression comes from? It comes from the  1978 Jonestown Massacre where more than 900 people drank a Kool-Aid-like beverage laced with cyanide. 900 people, that’s the audience members multiplied by three. 900 people. It was the biggest mass murder suicide in modern history, and it was masterminded by Jim Jones, the leader of the People’s Temple. In 1956 Jones was a young and dynamic preacher with a radical voice for the times; he preached total equality. He created his own church in Indiana and called it the People’s Temple. He stood for divine principles: Total equality. A society where people own all things in common, where there is no rich or poor, where there are no races.He and his wife  had what they called a Rainbow Family with their kids-  2 kids from South Korea, an African American kid,  and one homegrown kid. in 1965, Jones moved his family and the People’s Temple to progressive California. It was the 60’s, and the People’s Temple had what many were seeking, they spoke of what people had in their hearts- the government was not taking care of people, there were too many poor people and poor children. When Garrett Lambrev  joined the People’s Temple in 1965, there were 81 members, five years later there were 1000’s of members. As the movement grew, so did Jones’ demands. Followers signed over their paychecks, their life saving and even their homes. In the 70’s, Jones claimed he could miraculously heal the sick. A darker side of Jones was emerging, and rumors of physical and sexual abuse began to spread. Laura Johnston Kohl says that people were spanked, slapped and beaten in meetings. Jones sent an advanced team to the jungles of Guyana, South America, to build their utopia, Jonestown, far away from media and government scrutiny.

In 1977, with Jonestown almost complete, Jones ordered his followers to Guyana, and nearly 1000 people dropped everything and moved with him to where they believe heaven on earth awaited them. The followers thought it loooked like freedom. The community was well planned with a school, clinic and communal  kitchen. But as Jonestown flourished, their leader grew increasingly bizarre. There was a speaker system that only Jones spoke on. He would tape himself and play it over and over, 24 hours a day. In the summer of 1978, it was noticed that Jones was getting sicker. It was widely rumored that he was abusing drugs.  His tirades were getting more and more frantic and he seemed to be getting more insane. Back in the States, former church members began complaining that Jones was keeping their loved ones against their will. Californian congressman, Leo Ryan flew to Jonestown with a handful of reporters. The People’s Temple welcomed them to the party. But later that evening a Jonestown resident passed a note to a reporter saying that he was being held against his will. The next morning, more and more defectors came forward. Though Jones appeared calm in front of the cameras, behind the scenes he had ordered his avenging angels, as he called them, to take action. They ambushed the Congressman and his crew at the airstrip. Congressman Ryan and four others were killed in a shootout. Back at Jonestown, Jones called an emergency meeting where he announced that the Congressman was dead. He stated that as they wouldn’t live in peace, they should die in peace. Jones presented to his followers a large metal vat filled with a cyanide-laced beverage. First mothers were ordered to give it to their children and then drink it themselves.  ”Die with respect, Die with a degree of dignity” Jones urged them. “Mother please, put down your life with your child”. Tim Carter is one of only 7 who survived the mass suicide. He looked to his right and saw his wife with their son in her arms and poison being injected into his mouth, and his son was dead, and he was frothing at the mouth. His wife died in his arms, and their son was in her arms. All Tim could say was I love you, over and over. Jim Jones Jr lost his wife, his unborn child and his mother and father.

Oprah says it still seems unbelievable that 909 people including nearly 300 children died that day, and a further 5 at the airstrip. Jim Jones Jr was not there that day, he is here in the studio today. Jones preached to his followers about dying a peaceful and dignified death. This is what a death by Potassium Cyanide does to the body. The deadly poison attacks the nervous system, starving the body of oxygen. Unable to breathe, victims die of suffocation, eventually their organs shutdown. Eye-witnesses at Jonestown reported seeing the poisoned people going into violent convulsions, their faces twisted and foam coming out of their mouths. It took about 5 minutes to die their agonizing deaths.

They came to take newborn babies out of their mother’s arms. Jones said “Bring the vat, the vat, the vat, lay it here so that the adults may begin”. They were slaughtered says Tim. There was nothing dignified, it was senseless waste and death. Rev Jim Jones, his wife, 2 of their children and 5 of their grandchildren died that day. 3 of their sons were spared. Jim Jones Jr and his two brothers were in Georgetown, 150 miles away with the basketball team when he got his father’s call. His father spoke of visiting Ms Frazier, which was code for suicide. Jim couldn’t believe what Jones planed to do, he asked if there was another way. His father told them to find knives or piano wire or whatever they could to commit suicide. When Jim received those instructions he didn’t kill himself, he didn’t believe and couldnt understand what was happening. He didn’t know if his family would drink the Kool-Aid. At the time he was 18. They went to the US embassy to find what was going on, they hoped they could stop it. In Jonestown prior to this, the community had practiced drills of suicide- which were tests of loyalty where people would pledge their allegiance to the cause. The cause was the non-isms; non-racism, non-sexism, non ageism. The class system coming out of the 70’s of haves and have nots was opposite to the utopian society of the Pople’s Temple. People believed that they would create a whole new world. They had the whole gamut of intelligence, and 70% African Americans. Jim was adopted by Jones when he was 10 weeks old. The story goes that he was the first African American kid to be adopted by a caucasian family. Jones was his father, and Jim loved him. He took pride in his father. Oprah asks was it difficult being the first black kid in a white family? He says no, he didn’t know. There were Koreans in the family and Jim Jr just thought that he had a better tan. He had two Korean siblings,  and Homemade the blond blue eyed natural son. There was no race at the church, they were a rainbow family.

Even Jones’ voice was becoming slurred towards the end. During the last year he was becoming detached and crazy. Jim Jr was probably the last to see it- he didnt want to see it. Jones had multiple affairs and mistresses which happened for years prior to Jonestown. As a child they’d go on holiday for a week with their father and a mistress, and then their mother would join them for the second week. His mother was aware. Jim Jr was told that the women needed his father. He was resentful, but felt that he had to do it for the people to build the new world. He says that he drank the Kool-Aid before; he was indoctrinated into believing, that was his bubble. Oprah asks why would 900 people agree to do that? Jim Jr cant answer but he can try and explain the mindset. The 900 people were told that the Congressman had been shot. They were told that their community would be invaded and their  children would be taken away. Jones’ words were that they needed to lay down their lives in protest. He had the children ingest the cyanide first, very manipulatively. Jim Jr says he has 3 boys and if he watched them die, why would he want to live? Jones created that vacuum. When you see the syringes and needles, he doesn’t think everyone lined up willingly. Oprah clarifies that people were made to do it against their will, and that guards were there to shoot people if they didn’t comply. Jim Jr’s brother, sister, mother , father, wife and unborn child all died. For Jim Jr there was no reason to live. He came back to the States and went by James Jones for many years. 15 years later  he worked his way up to be the Director of a Cardio Pulmonary Department in a hospital. Because of the acronyms behind his name, they shortened his name to Jim. As he walked up to his great new job he was faced with the name Jim Jones and he realised that Jim Jones Jr is who he is. He faced up to the fact that he was part of a community trying to build  a brave new world. They tried and failed, but he can’t hide from who he is. He doesn’t hate his father, he has forgiven him. Was Jones mentally ill or on drugs? Oprah asks. The mental illness was exacerbated by the drug abuse and his power which was never challenged. Jones spiraled out of control, self destructed and took 900 people with him.

In 1998, Jim Jr went back to Jonestown and took his sons with him, he wanted to give them the foundation of what kind of world they were trying to create. When he got to Jonestown, looking for answers to his questions the only thing he could find was the tin vat that the KoolAid was stored in. The grass had grown over it. At that point he realised that he couldn’t have answers but he had to figure out how to get on with his life from that point. Oprah asks if he would have drunk the Kool-Aid that day, he can’t say he wouldn’t have if his wife and family had all taken it. The 900 people had already been brainwashed, practicing suicide raids, they were  already indoctrinated. To kill the children first was a strategy. Oprah says again, it is incomprehensible that any mother would feed their child cyanide.

Jim Jr says that basketball saved his life twice. 15-18 years after Jonestown he hit rock bottom and found solace in alcohol and drugs. He became emotionally unavailable to his wife and children to the stage where his wife was willing to leave him and take the kids. To save his family he got clean and found something that his son gave him as a gift that they could connect upon, basketball. He’d denied himself basketball because of guilt, and that saved him. When people says sports save their life, Jim Jr says it saved his life twice. Jim’s oldest son Rob is making a name for himself on the basketball court. For years Jim Jr was defined as the son of Jim Jones. Now he’s known as the father of his son Rob, with great pride and honor. Oprah says that’s really great.

Jim Jr shared many stories with his kids about their grandfather;  trips they went on, playing ball. Some of his sons friends came up to Rob and said they just learned about his grandfather in history class. And Rob said, yeah, that was my Grandfather. To Rob it’s just stories. Oprah says she finds it hard to believe that there is no guilt, shame and resentent connected to… that it would be easy to dismiss the first 17 years of his life, banish it and move on. Jim Jr says he wanted to embrace it for both himself and his children. Oprah asks why. He embraces it because then he doesn’t have to  hide from it. Oprah says that is so good and that we can learn alot from him. He says that there is no stigma for his children. Oprah says that everyone has something in their past that they are embarrassed by, or ashamed of, something that a family member has done. Jim Jr is proof that you don’t have to let the past be a burden. He says it is by the Grace of God and a great wife. Oprah says listen to your wife, Jim Jr laughs. Thank you Jim and to CBS for some of the footage they used to tell this story.

John Wayne Gacy’s sister is not recognised by her background- she had to bury that part of her life. She likes to talk about the brother that she knew, who was kind and loving and a great loving uncle to her children who they dearly loved and dearly remember. Karen’s brother was one of the most horrific serial killers of all time. Anyone under 35 may not remember the grizzly story before his arrest in 1978. He was one of the carziest and scariest human beings because he functioned in society. At 25 years old, John Wayne Gacy was a family man with a wife and 2 children. He ran a successful business and was well respected. One afternoon he invited a 15 year old boy to his home and molested him. In 1968 he was arrested and convicted of sodomy. He received 10 years, the maximum sentence, at the State Penitentiary. His wife divorced him and took the children who he never saw again. While in prison, he was a model prisoner, he was the head cook and sang in the choir. After 18 months he was released on good behaviour. Returning to his home town of Chicago, determined to rebuild his life, he started a contracting business. He remarried and volunteered at charitable events as Pogo the Clown. His family believed that when his second marriage failed, something in him snapped. He began to abduct young men and boys, raping and murdering them. Police never suspected anything until 1978 when he was reported as the last person seen with a young boy. Investigators were shocked when he admitted to throwing five bodies in the river and he drew a map showing where more than 2 dozen bodies were buried in a crawl space beneath his home and garage. He was found guilty of murdering 33 young men and boys, he received the death penalty and died by lethal injection in 1994.

Gacy’s sister Karen shows her favorite photo of them together as children with their older sister Joanne. John and her were best friends and did everything together. He liked gardening, baking and cooking, not stereotypical male activities of the time. It bothered their father who would bring it up when he drank. Her father would call John a  sissy, and he was a mean drunk. John felt that he never lived up to his father’s expectations which went all the way up until he married and had a son and daughter. He was arrested about 18 months later and was accused of sodomy with a minor- he always insisted that he was innocent and he was framed. Karen believed him and says that she has often wondered if they hadn’t believed him so easily that his life may have turned out differently.

In 1978 the remains of at least 27 bodies were found under Gacy’s house. Karen says that there was always a musty smell at the house, When he was arrested, she couldn’t believe that he was capable of killing all the people. An attorney called to tell her, she spoke to John and he admitted that he did it. Neither she nor her husband could believe it. He wasn’t the person that they knew, who was good and kind and loving. Gacy recanted his confession and maintained that he was innocent until his execution, but he did tell Karen initially that he did it. In jail she asked him how he didn’t know that the bodies were under their mothers house. He said he didn’t kill all of them but maybe one or two. She told him that if he killed one, he killed them all;  you can’t kill one and not be guilty. She was so angry at what he had done to their family and children. She could have socked him because she didn’t know that about him.

Oprah asks if he killed things as a boy, like animals, or other traits of serial killers? Karen says no, nothing like that, he was good to their dogs, there were no signs of anything. Oprah asks if he was trying to hide his homosexuality or bisexuality? In Iowa, Karen and her husband and their oldest daughter visited him and they went to a function together. Gacy said don’t be upset if they don’t go home with each other. Gacy went home with the wife of a couple who was with them, and the husband went home with them. Karen never set foot in their house again. She said what in the world is going on, and he said it was nothing. She’d never heard anything about him with another man. Oprah asks what the family thought when he was jailed for sodomy of a 15 year old boy? He said it was consensual. Her mom told her later that as a child he was molested, and she is not trying to use that as a justification for what he did. Oprah says that if everyone who was molested ended up killing people and putting them in a crawlspace, we wouldn’t have a world. Karen agrees.

Karen was with John the hours before his execution. The chief prosecutor felt he got an easier death than he deserved. Leaving the prison and knowing she’d never see him again was really hard. It was a nightmare. You could hear the people chanting. No one ever called her to say Im sorry for your loss after he was executed.  Oprah asks what it was like to spend the day before the execution with her brother. He was at peace with it, he said he’d rather be dead than live in prison for the rest of his life. They show a photo of them hugging, taken hours before he was transferred for execution. Karen sees that people may find it hard to believe that she would hug him, but she says that he was her brother. She never knew the evil part of him. She hates that part of him and she told her family that if any appeal ever worked, she’d see to it that he’d never walk the face of the earth again. She never spoke to the victims families, she was not allowed to by attorneys because it was tantamount to admitting that he was guilty. She feels remorse about that. She only told her boss last week who her brother was. The name Gacy has disappeared, she never uses her maiden name. After 31 years of hiding her past, never mentioning that she has a brother, living in a closet, to allow her children and grandchildren a  normal life, she is ready  to reveal herself to her neighbors on Oprah. The last thing that she said to her brother was that she loved him and forgave him for the the stuff that he… not the crime, she could never forgive that, but for what they were put through.

Oprah thanks her and says it is interesting to hear from people who have to carry on their lives when they are related to some of the most infamous and reviled people in history. Remember to make your car a no-phone zone; no one else needs to die because people are stupidly texting. Thank you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:
909 people died in Jonestown including almost 300 children in the biggest mass murder suicide in modern history, masterminded by Jim Jones.

Jim Jones Jr, the son of Jim Jones has forgiven his dad because they were trying to create a utopian ideal.

Jim Jones Jr has embraced his father’s legacy so that to his children, this particular history is just stories.

John Wayne Gacy, a seemingly functional member of society abducted, raped and murdered 33 yound men and boys.

Karen, sister of Gacy saw no warning signs in her brother, and has forgiven him, but not his crime.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Even the most reviled, infamous people in history can find  forgiveness from their family.

Date: February 16th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Makeover, Transformation

Episode 28: Make-Unders: How’d You Get That Way?

Oprah says look around at these pictures of some of our most cherished viewers; mom age 34 and her daughter 16 from a few towns over, Wayne from Taylor Michigan who is clearly stuck in the 80’s and Cindy, God loves teachers, but should she be wearing this to lead our children into the future?, and Dawn… Dawn, Dawn. How did these folks  get this way? She knows we all know someone too overdone, too pooped, too painted. These folks don’t need a make-over, they need a make-under. They brought in the big gun who’s so much fun, with tons of experience toning down, come on in Carson Kressley.

So today they are going to have fun in the spirit of helping people look there best. Dawn is a 44 year old single  mother of two. As a child, Dawn was a girl next door; shy, reserved and not outgoing. High school was really hard, she was told she wasn’t going to make much of herself and it was a sad lonely time for her. At 21 she started to change her look and she started to get attention. She started tanning,  dieting, working out and coming into a different kind of look. She says her look doesn’t match her inside as much as people might think. She is a mother first and foremost. Her kids hate how she looks and she’d really like her son and daughter to be proud of her.

Carson hopped on a plane to Canada, which he says is more of a frozen tundra than Chicago, to knock on Dawn’s door. Oprah loves it when this happens; take a look. Edmonton Alberta in Canada in February, Carson says he’d do anything for Oprah. Dawn answers the door and starts shrieking. She takes him upstairs, and he asks if she’s had implants or if she’s naturally endowed. Dawn says they are natural implants. He says they got really big with silicone and she says yes. He asks about her hair- it is extensions. He asks if she’s had anything else done? She says her lips , botox, eyelash extensions. She was been doing this for way too long, over 20 years. Carson says is she asking who is this person and she says yes. Her daughter is 15 and she doesn’t want her to grow up in the same way. She says her daughter is beautiful and perfect the way she is and that Dawn does not want her daughter attracting the wrong kind of attention. Carson says that is what they should want for Dawn, right? Ok, they can do that. They talk outside her closet. Carson asks if there was a moment where she decided to change herself, her looks? Dawn says in high school she  overheard a guy she liked saying that Dawn was a nice girl but too fat so he would never date her. To this day she remembers that. Carson says wow. Looking in the mirror Dawn sees someone with alot of makeup on, someone that is overdone. Not someone that is really her. She thinks her kids see.. she breaks down… she doesn’t think her kids are happy with what they see. They see someone who is supposed to be a role model for them and they would just like to have a mom like everybody else’s mom.

Oprah says to  Carson that addictions affect people in all ways, and that he thinks Dawn has a beauty addiction. He thinks that a little beauty was good but that Dawn was doing as much as she could to be accepted. Just like a food or drug addiction, you do that to fill the void to make yourself feel better. Carson challenged Dawn to strip it all off and peel it down, not easy to do when you’ve had the same beauty routine forever, for 20 years. She gets up at 6am and she’s ready at 11am; Carson doesn’t do math but that’s a really long time. Oprah is speechless. This addiction was taking her away from her family and her job.

Carson asks if her look is a security blanket. yes, her hair has been a focal point, the little girl inside has always felt overweight and she felt that if she had the hair, then people wouldn’t look at the weight. They agree that’s pretty scary. He asks her to imagine how liberating it will be to get rid of it and not hide behind it. She removes her makeup, she’s nervous. Carson thinks she looks better without it, Dawn says it takes her back to the girl she was in high school. Taking out her hair extensions, they call in a reinforcement for help who says it will probably take 3 hours. Carson hikes up her top to cover her cleavage. Carson leaves her with the rules until they meet in Chicago- no makeup, tanning, bronzer, lipstick, eyeshadow, foundation, no bronzer, no hair extensions, false eyelashes and no outfit that show almost all of her boobs. He asks her to remove her false nails. She says that will be very hard. They hug. He is proud of her. He says they’ll discuss getting her nails back in Chicago. She thanks him.

Dawn’s 2 teenage  children are in the studio with Dawn’s best friend, Wendy. Oprah asks how they’ve felt about their mom’s look all these years? The daughter says its kind of hard because her friends look at their mom and judge- either she’s a porn star or… her brother’s friends think she’s a MILF. It’s been hard for her whole life- Oprah says she’s in for a big surprise. Dawn’ s children have been embarrassed for years. Troy, her son says that his friends at school call her a MILF. Oprah says if you don’t know what that is, then ask your children. The crowd laugh. Carson has been working around the clock with Dawn to set her free from the make-up which binds. The kids and wendy are really ready. Dawn comes out and the crowd go wild. The kids come up on stage and they all hug. Oprah says it’s great. Dawn did what Carson said and walked around stripped down- at first the lack of attention was hard. She’s so used to being looked at and asked if she was a celebrity, it was hard. Oprah says she was used to leading by her boobs, and Dawn laughs and agrees. Dawn says that you get so used to being a certain way that all of a sudden she felt naked that a piece of her was stripped away. She says that may not make sense as she used to walk around almost naked. Oprah says Dawn used to call her extensions her comfort food, and asks how she feels without all the hair. Dawn says it’s so freeing. Wendy says Dawn looks fantastic. Oprah asks if this look reflects who she is- absolutely she feels beautiful, pretty and classy. Oprah says she looks it. Carson explains what he did- Dawn’s look was so extreme- a stripper without a pole, but getting to know her she is a wonderful mother and a kind person. They stripped everything down, she has a great natural beauty. So many people with beauty addictions are hiding and they just wanted to reveal what was there- great bone structure, beautiful eyes, great body and legs. He says that you don’t have to show it all off at once, and this is a look to be proud of. The kids are beaming as much as Dawn is. Oprah says that’s a mom you can take to the PTA and Carson says she’s still a MILF.

34 year old Liz and 16 year old Vanessa are a mother and daughter from  Illinois. Carson stopped by their house a few days ago. He knocks on the door and they hug, Liz squeezes his bum and he says it’s better than a handshake. Carson says its 9.30am and they are done up like they are going to Caesar’s Palace. They say they always are. He says he sees a theme here, as the house is very, um… Liz says Soprano-esque. She does know that she’s a little much, she was a very, very poor child so she knew when she grew up she wanted the best of the best. He asks how long they invest a week in their beauty routine. Liz says alot maybe 20-25 hours a week. Carson says that’s more than he actually works a week. He asks what their friends think of their look. Vanessa’s friends think shes ridiculous and want to scrape off her makeup. her hair takes an hour a day or more based on the size of the look. They both have medium sized hair today; it can go bigger.

Liz and Vanessa haven’t seen each other since the transformation. Their husband/ father is in the audience along with some of their family and friends. Liz comes out and the crowd applaud. Oprah says it’s amazing, that she looks so much younger. Carson says that he told Liz that the photos with the make up make her look 45 not 34, and he says she almost stabbed him with a shoe-horn at that point. The make up was too heavy and ageing. Carson says make up should enhance your features not cover them up, which is aging. Liz feels freed and and is pleased that everyone else liked it as she wan’t sure they would like her this way. Vanessa who is only 16 comes out- and the crowd go crazy. Liz says she’s so pretty. Mom and daughter hug a little and cry a little. Carson and Oprah say it’s 16- young and fresh and dewey. Carson says for Vanessa, who he was calling Gosh Spice, it was about making her look age-appropriate, she’s so gorgeous. The husband/ father  says thethat they look hot, he likes it.

Cindy is a 48 year old mother of 2 and a professor at the University of Missouri. She says that  some of her students and coworkers don’t take her seriously dressed like this. She spends alot of time and money making sure that her hair, makeup and clothes make her look good. She is a professor in the journalism school and some of her colleagues say that some of the conflicts in her classroom may be because she dresses like the students. She likes to dress in unique clothes that you don’t see on everybody else, like this spotty dress where the sleeves join the skirt, which she loves because it’s different. Her favorite dress is a short sparkly number that she can’t understand why other people don’t like it like she does. She has evolved so many times from heavy to thin, she’d dress in the dark because she didn’t like the way she looked. She has kept her weight off for 19 years and her natural state will be interesting to see. Carson says alot of women who lose weight go too far showing off their bodies. Oprah loves CIndy’s biceps, Carson says she has Madonna arms. She comes out and the crowd applaud. Oprah says wow wow wow Professor. Cindy’s mom loves it. Cindy is getting used to it, getting rid of the nails was the hardest- Carson says she had eagle talons before with artwork on them. Oprah wants to talk about artwork nails- Carson is not a fan. Oprah says Cindy lookss fantastic and her students will love this.

Last fall they  had so much fun making over men, you can nominate your scruffy, shaggy-haired man right now on Oprah.com. For a little inspiration, meet Wayne. Wayne is an 80’s guy turned in by his wife. He has 20 sleeveless tie-dye shirts. He’s a software developer by day and a rock n’ roller by night. It takes him forever to blow-dry his hair to get the curl out. Oprah and Carson are speechless. Oprah says that’s why we love America, because there is room for everybody. Patty and her daughter Stephanie are here, and Wayne comes out now. The crowd applaud. Oprah says Wayne who are you? Wayne says he’s trying to figure that out too. Oprah says she couldn’t pick him out of a line-up. His family are stunned. Wayne is not used to it yet, it’s been a thrill, he hasn’t seen himself without facial hair since he was 14 years old. People have been encouraging him, saying his wife is gonna love him, so he’s thinking ok. Carson says Wayne had so many colors in his highlighted hair. He’d tried to hold onto his hair, his youth. Many guys have a Rip Van Winkle Syndrome when they haven’t changed their clothes in 40 years and think they look great like they did in high school. That was 3 decades ago. Carson recommends that men like this go shopping every Presidential election or something. Women are better at updating. Wayne’s family are stunned, he can change his identity, he doesn’t look like the same person. His wife loves it. Carson will be back with the man makeover show in July. Oprah says he is very funny with guys. He says men are his speciality, they are like puppies. Oprah thanks Bloomingdale’s, the Laura Mercier makeup team and Salon Buzz in Chicago.

From your look to your home, many people can use a make-under for their homes. Nate Berkus says edit edit edit. He says that everyone in the entire coutry who doesn’t feel good about themselves buys another trinket, another picture frame, another vase and shoves it on the bookshelf. They think that all gifts should be displayed. Christina wanted help with her mom Lois’ busy overstuffed outdated den. Nate met them in their home in Louisiana. He goes to their home. The den makes him say wow, what is this room? The den, gym,  greenhouse, trophy room and photographs share the space. He says it definitely needs a makeunder. They wanted a sunroom and a den. Nate says that they have the opposite, it feels like winter and death, quite honestly. He thinks there is too  much stuff; the texture of the panelling, the texture of the brick, the busyness of the rug, busy drapery, tons of stuff. He can’t see what he’s looking at and there’s too much furniture to move properly. They sit down, Nate says that they can’t figure out where the camera guys should go as there is too much stuff in the room. He asks what they would feel comfortable editing out- Lois says the table and the bookshelf. Christina says the entertainment center. Nate agrees that we no longer have the big TV’s that once needed such big furniture. He asks Lois if the photographs make her feel closer to her daughters? She says yes, in a sense, as they live so far away. Nate wants to take the focus off everything and on what really matters. He needs their help, which means with all due respect that they won’t help, they have done enough.

Oprah says she thinks that this is so great because everyone wants Nate to come to their house, but that everyone has too much stuff going on and the focus, what rises up to meet you when you walk into a room is important. Nate says that everyone can do that and the mistake so often made is that not everything is important. If a collection of statues are important and all the photos are important, rooms must be edited. It is a maintenance issue. We don’t load up our sink and leave it for 15 years, but people do that with their bookshelves until the Opra Show sends Nate. Oprah says she’s noticed that with photographs, people add and add. You need to edit.

Nate Berkus had 24  hours and a team to get this done. The crew dismantle the den while Christina and Nate pair down the photos, she uses post-its to indicate what can go in storage. In Lowe’s he gets a softer rug and some new curtains that he says are literally perfect. There’s so much going on in the den he will neutralise the space with a light paint color. They cover the brick with panelling and paint it all to get a backdrop. The photos will be reframed to be a focus. He uses paper cutouts to arrange the layout. He says focus the photos on one wall. He moves the bulky electric firplace to a new spot and paints it. He divides off some of the room with a screen which he says is a great idea for multi-purpose rooms. He turns the exercise equipment around and adds a small TV. He says it’s brighter, lighter and understated.

Oprah asks if you can paint over panelling? He says to ask an expert at a paint store as there is a base to go over almost everything. Oprah says that she’d never heard of Lowe’s before Nate started doing these shows but now she uses Lowe’s all the time.  Time for the big reveal- Nate tells Lois and Christina not to open their eyes until he says so. When they do open their eyes, they scream. They say it’s beautiful and pretty and they both have tears in their eyes. They couldn’t have imagined it. He shows them the moved painted fireplace to reorientate the room. He used alot of the same pieces and painted them. Lois says it’s elegant. Nate changed the background to be able to use their furniture. Now it’s calmer to the eyes, lighter and fresher and more like a sunroom. He kept the exercise room, added a TV, and screened it off to take the focus off the exercise equipment. He has edited down the plants and photos which used to go all around the room. Now Lois can really see the pictures and not a whole bunch of clutter. She’s blown away, her daughter is happy. Lois, live in the studio via Skype says the experience has inspired her to edit more rooms in her house, she is thoroughly enjoying it- she and he husband watched the superbowl in the den. She got so pumped up and excited that she decided to light up the walls in her other rooms. Christina says Nate did an excellent job in 24 hours and that he could hone in on what is important to their family was incredible. Oprah thanks Lowe’s.

Recently Nate took the No Phone Zone Pledge and he hasn’t broken it. He didn’t realise he’d have to reschedule his life- he used to call people in the car when he would have no other distractions. Which he sees now was stupid. Oprah won’t talk to anyone on the phone, God forbid someone gets into an accident and says I was on the phone to Oprah. Nate says he’d be seen on the expressway and someone would call Oprah to report him. They both say that they would turn the other person in. They laugh and high-five. Oprah says be like Nate, take the pledge. She then says when Carson comes back he’ll take the pledge. Carson says he lives in New York and calls people on the subway, even though it’s underground and doesn’t really work. Oprah says it’s a commitment to saving lives so we don’t have to keep telling stories about the 6000 people who got killed last year. Take the pledge. Thanks.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Just like a food or drug addiction, a beauty addiction fills the void to make people feel better.

If you don’t know what a MILF is, then ask your children.

Make up should enhance your features not cover them up, which is aging.

A lot of women who lose weight go too far showing off their bodies.

Oprah says we love America, because there is room for everybody.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Too much make-up is aging, too much clutter is messy. Edit, edit,edit.

Date: February 15th, 2010
File Under: Betrayal, Family, Public Service Announcement, Relationships, Tragedy

Episode 27: Raped By His Mother- A Victim Comes Forward

Last Monday Oprah talked to 4 child molesters, who revealed in chilling detail how they lured children into their sick world. What they did was evil, but what they said can help your children. Today we turn your view of child molestation upside down when we look at what happens when the molesters are women, even mothers. This is Gregg Milligan’s graphic recount of what he went through every single day as a boy. This was his childhood home where he and his oldest brother and younger sister lived with their mother. He didn’t know his father, his mother was his whole world. The physical abuse started long before the sexual abuse. When he was 8 years old he was fondled and touched by his mother, and he was made to touch her. When perhaps she thought she could take it further, she did, she’d make him have sex with her, moving his body agains hers. If he didn’t respond physically he would be beaten and choked and  thrown from the bedroom. He had to help her reach orgasm – until that happened he was her prisoner in her bed and she’d make an awful screaching sound when she reached orgasm, then she’d hit him and push him. When he went to bed at night he couldn’t get the smell of her of his hands. By the time he was 9 or 10 it felt consensual, he wanted to die, to be rid of this ugly feeling of being his mother’s lover.

Back in the studio Oprah says we are talking here about a ten year old boy. Gregg’s mother died nearly 14 years ago but he recently came out the shadows to tell his story. We don’t hear about mother-son abuse much, but it does happen. She asks Gregg about the sense that the abuse felt consensual- was that because it was pleasurable? He says it was never pleasurable, it was always awful, but his body started to respond to the stimulus. As he grew older and his body matured, he responded physically with an erection. He couldn’t differentiate between the biological and the mental response. Oprah asks if he thought it was normal? He says yes. Oprah qualifies that you don’t have a language for it as an abused child. Later as an adult you can articulate it, but as a child he thought all boys had this relationship with their mothers. Oprah asks if there was any seduction? He says the beatings were consistent, and the sexual abuse started the same way but when the sexual abuse started he would be told mother needs you, rather than shouted at to stand still. It was manipulative and gentle. The beatings were worse if she didn’t reach orgasm- he tried hard to help her orgasm quickly so he could go back to his room. Oprah says part of the shame of abuse is because there is some pleasure; being touched is supposed to feel good and that’s why we are all doing it. As a child, the newly aroused feelings are confusing. Greg says if his mother had been gentle and kind and sweet he is sure it would have been diffeerent. But because of the brutality of the physical abuse it was very different. Her anger if she didnt reach orgasm, and the dismissiveness with which she told him to get out if she did reach orgasm was always there. After she’d reached orgasm, she’d say that he did it to her, that he seduced her and that this was his doing. He believed that and was completely confused. He thought that this was love at first. Oprah asks for a picture of him to be shown on screen at age 8 or 10. She asks that everyone who feels responsible for their abuse to look at a picture of themself at the age it happened and ask what a child of that age could have done to stop the abuse. Gregg sees a young boy who was given no choice but to allow this to happen in his photo. He couldn’t have stopped it and wouldn’t have stopped it- his mother was the center of his universe and he loved her. Oprah reiterates her stance that  molesters in the bushes do exist but mainly it is friends and relatives who are the abusers.

Gregg says as a child he was physically tortured and violently raped by his mother. 35 years later he is still tortured by his past. He is working on it, but at age 46 he is still trapped inside his childhood house. What was taken from Gregg and any abused child will be gone forever. Part of him was taken and died- the innocence that every child deserves was taken. Before age 11 there was no one that he could have told. There were teachers but he was desperately afraid of his mother. She was his only parent, she was feared by her kids and in the neighborhood. It wasn’t just the fear of his mother, it was the absolute shame that this was taking place. Even today Oprah asks which is easier to say, that he was abused or that he had sex with his mother? He says abused. It is easier to admit to physical abuse rather than sexual abuse. Oprah says that  in all these years, Gregg is the first person she has spoken to who was forced to have had actual physical intercourse with his mother at such a young age, and that is interesting for her to talk about what that experience does to you as a person. The experience itself was that his mother had control of his body- they were both small people, close to emaciated, and she would control his physical body to pleasure her. It was worse than the physical abuse- it forced him to shut off what was happening. He had to pretend that it wasn’t his mother doing this because she was the only person that he had in this world. He needed his mom. Oprah says the stories behind the smiles are never revealed in childhood photos. Gregg wanted them to think he was normal, he craved normalcy and acceptance to be like the other children.

After a year of being raped by his mother, the abuse took a turn for the worse. His mother frequently prostituted herself at local pubs, soliciting men in the neighborhood. The men soon followed for Gregg- his mother would justify prostituting him out by saying if he didn’t they’d go hungry, lose the house and be out on the street. She said that if he didn’t comply the men would come back and cut off his genitals, and Gregg believed her. Oprah says his mother sounds like a monster. He recalls his mother prostituting herself when he was seven. Oprah wants Gregg’s information to help viewers. Kids don’t have the words- so asking them if they have been molested is unhelpful as they dont understand the concept. Greg was 8-9 the first time; a man came over, money changed hands and his mother left. The man undressed him and performed fellatio, He struggled desperately to not let his body respond to the stimulus. It worked that time and the man, frustrated, left. It became worse when he got older and couldn’t always control the biological response to the stimulus. That was the worst when he got an erection, then it felt like it was his fault, that he wanted it. Oprah says she so understands that. Oprah asks if he understands that the little boy in the photo could not possibly be responsible. He understands now, but it took years. Oprah says that the abusers use your biological response to justify their behavior, to say that you liked it. His mother would convince him that it wouldn’t have happened had he not responded sexually, with her or the other men. Oprah says that this is horrific and that his mother was obviously a damaged person with a lot of  pain in her life and no ability to love her children. But  in all cases, the sexual act itself is minor compared to the emotional and spiritual damage done. Gregg agrees wholeheartedly. The shame is crushing and is what destroys you. The shame changes what you are as a human being. It caused Gregg to act and react differently. He withheld emotionally and academically. He was afraid to play with other young boys- his mother would say he was immoral, homosexual and perverted. He believed that it was not normal behaviour  to find affection or friendship. Oprah asks if he finds it is a marvel that he is alive and and sane and able to marry and have a life beyond this? Greg say that there is definitely something bigger and better than all of this out there.

In the photo album of his childhood, Gregg and his siblings have forced smiles- if you look closely you’ll see bruises, scars, greasy hair, unkempt clothes and fear. Fear is exactly what the abusers want you to feel. No one in the neighborhood ever stepped in to help. Neighbors saw what their mother did to the kids, and they’d tell their own kids to stay away  from the family, further ostracizing them from the rest of the neighborhood. Due to her advanced alcoholism, she could no no longer control  her bowels, so she would walk up and down the street urinating and defecating while screaming obscenities. Kids would ask if his mother was the whore, the crazy woman? There were obvious signs that he was abused- he was emaciated, his clothing smelled awful. His nicknames were stinky, smelly, brains- because he couldnt read write or tell the time. If you really want to hurt someone, make a joke that a boy is having sex with his mother. It was meant in jest, no one could fathom that it would be true, but it was.  Oprah asks what he would do when that joke was made? Gregg would laugh along to appear as normal as possible. Oprah says every child wants to fit in and be normal. Greg just wanted to fit in and be normal, even though he couldn’t tell the time at age 10.

Gregg’s sister April is here, she was also sexually abused by their mother. She is two years younger than Gregg. April knew something was going on with Gregg, but she was instructed to stay in her room at all times. Her mom would come and grab her hand and take her to her bedroom. To April it was spending time with mom. Her mom would make April fondle her mother’s vagina, and she would do the same to April. This went on for a couple of years until Gregg stepped in, thank god. Her saviour saved her life. He said no more, you’re not going to abuse my sister so he took the abuse. A man came to the house when he was about 9 and april was 7. Money changed hands and Gregg assumed the man was there for him or his mother. But his mother called April out the room  which had never happened. She then instructed Gregg to follow her to her room. Gregg grabbed april, his mother grabbed him and slammed him against the wall. Gregg told April to hide, and he went to the living room and he had to be abused by the man instead, while his mother went to her room. He says it was the best decision that he ever made. She never tried to prostitute April again. He was beaten after the man left yet Gregg said he would never let it happen again. He would always insert himself into the situation so that April never had to do this. April knew he was protecting her, she knew as a child that something was not right- with regards to touching and private areas. She knew with her mother that the sexual abuse was wrong, she was afraid of her, she would try and hide. She knew when a man arrived that it was not a good feeling.

Gregg says the house always smelled of sex and alcohol. He had to get all three of the kids out because one day he wouldn’t be there and April would be raped and it would be his fault. When Gregg was 11, they were removed from the home and the abuse stopped. The shame went on for years after. Greg spent two weeks stealing money from his mother’s purse to run down to the corner store and use the payphone to call and say you have to help us, you have to get us out of here to an older sister. After two weeks, a sister did come and physically remove them from the house. Their mother died in 1996. Oprah asks how their relationship was. Gregg worried about her, he loved her very much but avoided her because he was afraid of her. Preparing for this show, he saw a photo of his mom at his college graduation,standing next to him.  He didn’t remember her being there , he cut her from his life entirely, didn’t communicate with her. He was still afraid of her as an adult. Oprah says that when you’ve been abused by someone you love and trust, it is very confusing as children love even the abuser. It is hard to understand but it is confusing and shameful for the abused.

Every nightmare starts the same, Gregg feels his mother forcing him to have sex with him, he sees her face, he can smell her breath of wine and whisky. He wakes up clawing at the bed; screaming, weeping, shouting out.  The dreams are vivid and real and they are every night. Gregg’s wife Sarah is in the studio. She says Gregg will cry out and struggle in his sleep, he makes choked out, fearful cries. She sometimes wakes him up or she’ll hold him. Oprah asks how you begin to put a life back together with the shame and the guilt. Oprah says she’s speaking in broad generalities, and she knows that, but many people cannot have  intimate communication and for others it goes the opposite way. Oprah became a promiscuous teenager, looking for love in all the wrong places. For Gregg, as a teenager and into his 20’s he became very promiscuous with multiple relationships and short relationships. Sarah and Gregg met at work and she heard about all this maybe a year or so into the relationship. Oprah says this is enough to make you pack your bags and run, and Sarah says no, never. Gregg was very quiet at first, he was fearful of the shame of telling, afraid to tell her. He was scared that she would judge him or find him perverted. The trust and love he had for his abuser, an unhealthy love, had to become a safe healthy trust and love for someone else. Oprah says the ramifications of being abused by someone as close to you as your mother means that you simply don’t know how to love. You don’t trust anyone.

Despite everything that happened to Gregg before his 12th birthday, he went on to graduate high school, college and got his master’s degree. The crowd applaud. Education saved him by allowing him to be more independent and functional, a contributing member of society and people started to pay attention to  him when he spoke,especially when he asked for help. He has a 23 year old son who is in the audience, Gregg the second. Oprah asks how it feels to hear this- it makes him, sad, he loves his dad and he’s a great father who is easy to talk to. Oprah asks Gregg if fatherhood helped him heal- absolutely, one of his greatest fears was turning out like his parents. To be able to raise his son with love and no violence, it affirmed to Gregg that it might be ok, that it can be done. Oprah says that it is a choice; every abused child does not have to choose to become an abuser. Gregg says we need more people to make that choice. Oprah thanks everyone for being here. Gregg is the spokesperson for RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. If anybody who has heard this story today wants to talk about what has happened in their life or what is happening in someone’s life, the number is on the screen. There is a reason why the last 4 digits spell Hope. 1-800-656-HOPE. Before they go, photographs of 12 year old Joe from Spring Lake Michigan are shown onscreen. A driver on a cellphone ran a red light and killed this little boy. Joe is not here to speak for himself so Oprah asks us all to take the pledge and please do not use phones in the car.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

The stories behind the smiles are never revealed from childhood photos.

The innocence that every child deserves is taken by sexual abuse.

Kids don’t have the right words- so asking them if they have been molested is unhelpful as they don’t understand the concept.

Every child wants to fit in and be normal.

It is a choice, every abused child does not choose to become an abuser

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The shame of sexual abuse is crushing and is what destroys you. The shame changes what you are as a human being.

Date: February 12th, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment

Episode 26: Happy Valentine’s Day- Oprah Fridays LIVE

It’s Friday and here live in Chicago, if you’re snowed in and watching with the whole family, let’s start with the Superbowl. The Saints won and  Superbowl NVP Drew Brees is here. What a beautiful family, they’re all here, Oprah just saw the baby in the back, who dat cute. Over 106 million people watched the Superbowl, more than any other TV show in history.Did you see the ads? [They play the Oprah sitting between David Letterman and Jay Leno advert]. Gail emailed her after the ad aired saying people think they are superimposed there. Oprah shows picures to show they were all there together, it was a super top secret thing with only a handful of people in the know. They filmed at Dave’s studio in New York, just as Oprah was going in, incognito with a hood on, a woman said Hey Oprah. Jay came in in disguise. Jay and David hadn’t talked for 18 years- everything went away that had happened between them for the last 18 years.

Tonight the Olympics kick off in Vancouver. Matt Lauer will be covering the games for NBC, he joins us via satellite. Oprah says she just saw him with Michael Bublé- he was just inside the chalet, he’s from Barnaby, Vancouver so he just did a couple of songs. Matt apologises if he cries during the set, the bonfire seemed like a good idea but the smoke keeps blowing into his eyes. Matt ran with the torch yesterday, aso did Bublé. Matt said it was maybe the coolest part of his life- you get to wear the cool outfit but you get the pep talk before that says the torch is the greatest symbol of peace in the whole world. He doesn’t care how cool you think you are, when the person carries the flame to you, you turn to jelly. It seemed like an eternity even though it was only 300m, Matt just loved it. Oprah asks if you worry that your hair might catch on fire when the wind blows, Matt shows his lack of hair and says are you kidding me? What’s supposed to catch on fire there? Oprah hears the schedule is hefty- Matt broadcasts live to the East Coast so they fim at 4am Vancouver time. Today is a particularly long day as they just did the show then tonight he’s covering the opening ceremony with Bob Costas. The pageantry and spectacle of the opening ceremony will not be disappointing. He saw it a couple of nights ago and it will end with a big surprise. 7.30 eastern time there’s a warmup then the opening ceremony. For the first time ever this is filmed indoors and the parade of athletes will be at the beginning not the end. Oprah says she watches him and the mornings and last week wore red at his urging. Matt says he wants to be invited to the worst superbowl party ever next year (referencing the advert). Thanks Matt, we’ll be watching the opening ceremonies tonight.

Drew Brees comes to the studio and the crowd go wild. Wow wow wow says Oprah. Its wonderful to see each other. Drew says the moment of winning was surreal and he still has to pinch himself. Oprah just felt that the Saints were going to do it. After all that New Orleans has been through, all the pain and suffering and psychic and spiritual energy, she felt that the Saints would do it. Drew says he never had a doubt, he felt the energy of the country was with them, everyone related to what the team means to the city and what a win would do for them. 106 million people watched Drew step up in the moment that he needed to. Drew says the emotion throughout the game had to reeled in. For the first half or quarter you just have to find a way to calm down, then you tell yourself it’s just aother game and only when it’s over do you allow yourself to reflect. Oprah says she’s heard him say before that its not about the winning but about the journey. For him, he was trying to reflect upon that when he stood on the stand with his son getting the trophy- he tried to stay in the moment. The crowd awws as they show a photo of him holding his son up in the air on the Superbowl night. Drew says it’s special and he’ll remember it for the rest of his life. His son is only 13 months old and he wont remember this. He told his son what an inspiration he is to Drew, and he said he loved him and we did it. little boy. Oprah says that Drew does have the cutest boy in the world. A few years ago when he injured his shoulder and it almost ended his career, Drew has said that it was the best thing to happen to him. Drew says that everyone in their position has been told they can’t do it for whatever reason and sure that’s a motivation. For him, he plays for the people who do believe in him, that’s who he thinks of before every game. His eyes well up when he listens to the national anthem, and thinks of the implications of what he’s doing. Oprah says she has great respect for Peyton Manning, Drew says that they normally meet after the game on the 50 yard line, but that didnt happen this time. But Manning sent him a text afterwards and is a very classy football player. Oprah hopes he didn’t text from the car- it was from the tour bus. Drew also did a commercial where he sang in the shower for Dove for Men. Here are a few extra scenes. The crowd applaud. Dove has a whole new line of products and Oprah says that this is a great way to introduce them. For Drew singing in the shower in front of the cameras was a little out of his comfort zone, it was tense at first then he decided to just have fun. Drew is comfortable in his own skin and enjoyed the experience.

They show the footage of Drew, his son Bailey and his wife Brittany at the Superbowl. Brittany says she felt so stressed out she thought she’d throw up. And Bailey is just like his Dad, so active- so he wants to walk, eat, play, watch the game. Her mom helps during the game, but Bailey helps her calm down and puts things into perspective. She says Drew is great at handling pressure, he can compartmentalise and really focus; then he does his best. They all got to bed about 3.30am, he said to Brittany, did that really happen? It was the culmination of 4 years of hard work.  She said she didn’t know- it looks like a great commercial with all the confetti. The city is unbelieveable right now, there was 40,00 people at the airport and the parade brought out 800,000 in a city of only 400,000. It seems like people from all around the world are identifying with the city and that is just great. The couple are college sweethearts,- she married the quarterback and then he won the Superbowl. Brittany says that it’s been amazing and there have been the ups and downs of his career. She remembers seeing him in the hospital room after his surgery, not knowing if he would ever play again, but God gives you the strength and they prayed about it – and if anyone is going to do it, it would be Drew. She’s so proud of him, all those hours of rehab and the not knowing where they were going to live, she’s just so proud of him. Oprah asks what happens now? Drew says on Valentine’s Day they’ll be in the Bachus Parade for Mardi Gras, their anniversary was the day after the Superbowl, their 7 year anniversary, so they’ll spend some time with family and  take two weeks to have a Valentine’s Day, anniversary celebration. A Saints superfan in Chicago, Chris Rodgers is in the studio, they show footage of his house filled with Saints gear. He cried like a baby when they won. Chris’ lifelong dream is to catch a football from Drew Brees- Drew throws the football and Chris catches it.

1985’s recording of We Are The World plays the show back in from the commercial break. It has been 25 years since Lionel Ritchie wrote We Are The World with Michael Jackson and Oprah’s dear friend Quincy Jones produced it. Two weeks ago they  got together with 80 artists to re-record  the song with all proceeds to go to help the Haiti earthquake. There’s only one Lionel Ritchie and he’s here. Oprah is so excited that he’s going to sing. The crowd clap and scream. He doesn’t know if he can sing this early in the morning. The new video will debut tonight at the opening ceremony at the winter olympics. Nicole was 5 years old when they recorded the original, and now she’s there with her son and Joel. They play an exclusive extract of the new recording- there are artists in 3 different rooms. Pink, Celine Dion, Barbara Streisand, Mary J Blige… all the stars wanted to be apart of it. Last time, Quincy put up a sign that said check your egos at the door. This time, Lionel says the egos lasted about 20 minutes. then all of a sudden when seeing the images from Haiti, the egos stop. They knew what they were there to do. Oprah asks how they assign parts to sing-Lionel says life is wonderful while you’re busy making plans. It happens. They had a list of who would sing what line, and they realised that the new people are nervous. They had 3 seperate rooms, with different cameras and Panavision. They thought it would be a secret, and the stars were Tweeting during the first verse. He’d never seen so much excitement- Tony Bennett and Snoop Dog talking to each other, Little Wayne and Barbara Streisand talking to each other. Oprah has heard the story from Quincy so many times about how they wrote the lyrics to the song and needed the last verse. Lionel tells the story of lying on the floor in Michael Jackson’s room when he spotted a python behind some records. Lionel ran away from the albino python that Michael had mislaid in his room. They wanted Michael in the recording, so he sings his part from the original, and his sister Janet sings along with him. Lionel says everyone stepped up to the plate and it’s beautiful. Oprah asks if women always want him to sing to them when he dates; he says no. Oprah says as it’s Valentine’s Day in two days, who better to have than Lionel Ritchie, Mr Love Song himself. He has hand-picked some of his favorites. He sings and wishes the crowd a Happy Valentine’s Day. Oprah runs on stage to hug him and says that was beautiful.

Someone you all know recently admitted that he texts and talks in the car. Today he takes the commitment, he takes Oprah’s pledge. He says it will be hard for him, it’s like kicking an addiction. He’s in the car and the phone rings and he lets it go. Can you imagine how dumb you’d feel if you picked up a call and got in an accident? At work he calls a mandatory company meeting to say that company policy now means that no one can text or do company business in the car. Nate Berkus and his amazing staff, take the pledge. Oprah says we used to drive and think about things in the cars and have some time to ourselves.

Oprah has a car to help Haiti, over 300 celebrities have signed it already- George Clooney, Mariah Carey, Julia Roberts and so many others through Stars for a Cause. This Chrysler 300 will be auctioned next week, with all proceeds going to the Red Cross for Haiti relief. Oprah agreed to sign the car on the basis that she would put her No-Phone Zone bumper sticker on the car. She attaches the sticker, signs the car and thanks Chrysler. They have modified the pledge- you can agree to stop texting, agree to only hands free calling or give it all up. Have a great Valentine’s Day and go to Oprah.com to download Lionel Ritchie singing Hello to you.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Oprah, Letterman and Leno were all in the same room to film their Superbowl advert, it was not a special effect.

Carrying the Olympic torch would turn anyone to jelly.

Drew Brees is comfortable in his own skin.

There’s only one Lionel Ritchie.

The no phone zone pledge as been modified to allow people to semi-pledge.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The Superbowl was awesome, the Olympics will be too. Lionel Ritchie wishes everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day.

Date: February 11th, 2010
File Under: Live your best life, Transformation

Episode 25: The High School Quarterback Who Became A Lesbian

Kimberley Reed was once Paul McKerrow, a high-school quarterback in Montana. He was the starring quarterback, valedictorian, and voted best looking and most likely to succeed. He was the golden boy every guy wanted to be and every girl dreamed of, now he is a woman. She looks like this picture and she’s a lesbian.

Growing up in 70’s Montana,  Paul’s father Lauren was a doctor and mother Carol was a schoolteacher. They adopted Kimberley’s brother, Mark, and probably conceived Paul the day they picked Mark up. A year later, along came another surprise, Tom. It looked like a dream childhood, but appearances can be deceptive. Paul did the things in high school that you were supposed to do, he thought it would make the other crazy idea go away. He began to question his gender identity around first grade. As he grew up, Paul was attracted to girls, but he didn’t feel like a typical high school boy. He dated women, pretty innocently, alot of the times he wanted to be one of the girls. After college he moved to San Francisco, where he first started dressing as a woman. He would segregate restaurants, going to some only as a male and some only as a female. It was crazy to live like that. You can only live a double life for so long. Over the next few years he took it further, and started taking hormones which helped his body feel right, then in his late 20’s he undertook gender reassignment surgery. Paul became Kimberley. Sexual reassembly surgery fashions a vagina from your genitalia, and she had some help with her breasts. She checked into her apartment as a male and left as a female with a new name, drivers license, social security number and passport.

Oprah says that if we dont relate to Kimberley’s story, most of us can admit we have something which holds us back from being all we can be, whether it is weight or a bad relationship. As you hear this story, think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth. Kimberley joins Oprah onstage. Oprah says she is always fascinated by these stories because it’s so hard to imagine not being in the right body. Oprah says she can relate to most issues, but not this one. Kimberley says she found the right body by a process of elimination, she was magnetically drawn to it. She tried to avoid it, to not be weird, to fit in. She started to feel different in about kindergarten or first grade, she wanted to be with the girls but she had to repress it. During her teenage years she wondered if she may be gay, later she tried all the options. In high school she felt that the thing going on which made her different had to be shut down, so she went all out to be a football player, to do all the things that you should do. Becoming a football star was part of the rules. She is glad that she grew up as a boy, but it makes her sad because boys can be strong and independent whereas girls often withdraw and doubt themselves at around age 11 or 12. Oprah interrupts to say that Kimberley can sing that Beyonce song “If I Were A Boy” and mean it. Kimberley doesn’t remember a time when she didn’t have the urge to be female, but she took specific steps towards it around  5h or 6th grade. She had a paper route and she got up very early in the morning and dressed as a girl to deliver the papers.

When Kimberley traveled back to Helena, Montana for her 20th high school reunion, she didn’t know what to expect. Last time her classmates saw her, she was Paul. She says the first part of her life she lived trying to deny that she was a girl, the second part of her life she tried to deny that she was ever a boy, and now she is trying to reconcile the two parts of her life. She is pleased she got the sense of entitlement, license and freedom of boyhood, and wishes girls got that. Oprah says we see that parents treat their kids differently even if they say they don’t treat their male and female children differently. At High School Paul went to the prom and felt awkward, she felt she was trying to play a part but it felt off, like she was putting on an act. She went to college in the San Francisco Bay Area, which is a very conducive place to experiment. She tried to date men as a man, but that didnt feel right, but she did start to know she was attracted to being a female. She lived as a male student in Berkeley, but would drive across the bridge to San Francisco to be a woman. She was an exchange student in Norway, she deliberately went where the other students wouldnt be. She took the train as  far north as she could go and camped  on a fast, awaiting a revelation. She realised she’d been trying to avoid this in so many ways, but the revelation was always there. Oprah says its like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there. Kimberley was waiting for the big revelation, and it was there. That was a big turning point. The movie she has made, Prodigal Sons is interesting, according to Oprah, because it focuses as much on the family dynamic as Kimberley’s gender. Kimberley told her mom, probably later than she should have done. Oprah says she feels parents know but don’t want to see it, especially seeing the feminine side in their sons. Carol in the audience says she saw nothing, not a hint. Kimberley says she hid it well because she was hiding it from herself. Carol doesn’t see hints even looking back with hindsight.

Kimberley travels back to her hometown for her 20 year high school reunion. Oprah says everyone who is worried about going to their highschool reunion, should imagine this. The video footage plays. Kimberely decided to go back for the reunion, this would be the first time that most of her hometown will see her, although they heard a few years ago of her gender change. The party is at the co-captain of the football team’s house, Kimberley, as Paul, was the other captain. She goes to the party and greets her old friends and former dates. One of the women says that all the girls had crushes on her back in high school. There was no adverse reaction at first, but one women says she still doesn’t get the difference between gay, homosexual, lesbian and transgender. Kimberley and her girlfriend patiently explain. Oprah in the studio says, I’m like her, I’m all durr. Joining us on Skype is Paul’s former team mate and best friend, Tim. Tim says that as a friend it’s been a little bit weird, he was protective so didn’t want to say words like weird. It’s surprising that his mother didnt know. When Kim’s dad died, Kim came back, and Tim’s mom told him that Paul is Kim. When his mother told him that Paul is Kim, Tim said what and she repeated herself and they had that exchange about five times. Oprah laughs hysterically. There was another woman named Kim that he’d just seen at Carol’s house who was pregnant and he thought wow Paul really went all the way. Oprah laughs hysterically. Paul was great at everything, she was good at every sport she tried which was one of the sources of sibling rivalry in their household. Tim says they were close friends throughout school and they stayed in touch. The first time they tried to go out for a drink, Kim was too chicken, so Tim went to meet her and Claire. It was a bit surreal to go back to her old house. The next night meeting the whole team, 8 overweight bald players, she was shy. Look at her, sure she’s attractive. He didn’t know if she was gay or straight. Kimberley was incredibly nervous, her former team mates showed up with cases of beer. She looked around at one of them swigging cheap beer with an arm around her girlfriend Claire, and she thought this would be ok. She feared that her past would be erased. She doesn’t look the same and alot is different, but many of her friends feel that she is the same person. Tim is happy and proud of her- Paul was a little awkward and shy, but Kim is very confident. Oprah says it is because she is her authentic self now.

Much of the footage today is from Prodigal Sons, her documentary. She thought that throwing the perfect spiral would cure her. She had her first kiss on the bleachers. She had so many problems figuring out her gender. She’d play games with herself where the penalty would be that she’d have to be a girl for the night. So then she’d run slowly so she would have to be a girl. She had shut alot of this out but she needs to bring it back somehow, it’s half her life. Oprah says so many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable. That could have been Kimberley’s life. She says the number one thing she hears is that transgender people wish that they had done it sooner.

The documentary captures the intense sibling rivalry which has taken a toll. Mark, her older brother was adopted, so he felt a bit of an outsider, He was held back in school so they were always in the same grade. Mark spent his childhood living in the shadow of his highly accomplished younger brother. At 21 he crashed his car and had suffered a traumatic brain injury. He had repeated surgeries, his mood swings got worse, his short-term memory began to fade and he began clinging to the past more and more. Footage shows him ranting and raving about how popular he was in school. Kimberley says she felt like Mark would have given anything to be the man that she would have given anything not to be- they were both haunted by the same ghost. In the studio, Carol says the confrontation ended with a 911 call, it was Christmas Eve and it was not a Christmas Eve to remember. Mark was taken to jail. Oprah asks if prior to the car crash, all the anger and jealousy existed and it got exascerbated by the event. Kim felt the sibling rivalry acutely, Carol was aware or that, it was always present. Carol thought the adoption was part of it, but Mark had his own strengths, but he didnt go in those directions because he single-mindedly wanted to be Paul. Oprah is aware that there are no doubt millions of people feeling like Mark did about this- she asks Carol, do you believe in the bible and how do you reconcile your religious beliefs with your son or daughter? Carols says for her that was never a question- she believed in her child and believed that this child was thoughtful and intelligent and gave so much thought to what was happening. She knew that this decision was painfully arrived at.

When Kimberley began her transition to a woman, she kept it a secret from the whole family. She told her mother but she couldn’t tell her dad. Having been the perfect son, she didn’t want to take the element of vicarious living from her dad. Carol waited one year to tell her husband that their son was now a woman. Carol says that her husband was ill and his health was a real issue, and she wanted to time the news right. There never was a right time but she decided she must tell him. She made appointments for herself to visit a therapist and, on the third visit, her husband came along and she told him. It was really hard. Kimberley says she feels bad that she couldn’t do it herself, what a thing to put on someone else- Carol was juggling the whole extended family. Kimberley wishes that she hadn’t put her mom through so much. She feels its important to talk about this on the program and on the documentary. She hopes that people can come out earlier and earlier in the newer generation. Oprah says with regards to coming out, many people, maybe not transgender but maybe are coming out as gay. Oprah says she got goosebumps earlier when Carol said she believed in her child. Oprah says that’s beautiful, Kimberley and Carol hug.

Kimberley has been dating Claire for ten years. Claire says she feels we are all a little in drag and projecting, and for women that’s feminine. What was striking and attractive to Claire about Kimberley was how comfortable she was with herself, and that to her is feminine, female. Oprah says it’s all about finding what is authentic to yourself. Oprah clarifies that Claire is a lesbian.She then asks if as a lesbian you try and strike a balance between feminine and non-feminine. Claire says she had some gender issues herself , she liked alot of boy things, she may have ovecompensated  so she wasn’t viewed as a lesbian. Oprah asks if she finds that when you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes. All the things you were afraid of, the people you thought would reject you and wouldn’t love you anymore still did and the people who were upset and jealous of you still are. It takes alot of courage to stand up for who you are. Oprah would like to encourage us to watch the movie and to inspire you to dig in and figure out what is holding you back and become the best you can be. Thanks everybody, and take the no-phone pledge. Bye everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Think how great you could be if you had the courage to live your own truth.

Like Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz says; nothing is outside of us, it’s inside always, the answer is there.

Many transgender people wish that they acted on their gender-change earlier.

So many people who grew up in smaller communities grew up, married and did what society expected, and they are miserable.

When you shed your false exterior, the world and your perception of it changes. When you change, it changes.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

The person that everybody wants to be  may not want to be that person; be true to yourself.

Date: February 10th, 2010
File Under: Celebrity, Entertainment

Episode 24: Celine Dion’s Showstopping Surprise

Nobody does it like Celine Dion. She is the number one selling artists of the last decade and has been a good friend of the Oprah show for the last few years. They hug. The crowd are hysterical. Celine Dion has a new movie coming out that the audience just saw, Oprah says it’s fantastic, its called Celine Through the Eyes of the World. and opens on February 17th for two weeks only. Oprah wants to go on a world tour, she asks if Celine ever forgets where she is when she goes on stage and says Hello South Africa, Hello Prague Hello France- does she get told just before she goes out. Celine hopes she doesn’t forget. Going to South Africa was an amazing experience for her, for her son and mother, to meet Nelson Mandela. It was a very emotional moment , it was beyond being an artist. At first the camera crew was there for the family, for them to bring back souvenirs and memories, but she said they quickly forgot about the cameras and the truth came out. Her mom was on tour with them for the first time, and her son was there too. Her husband, René said that the footage was too good to keep it to themselves. It was an extraordinary opportunity and now it gives the fans a VIP ticket to see them in the car, the hotel room. It is like travelling with them.

They show a clip of Celine’s tribute to Michael Jackson at the Grammys. She says it was awkward and an emotional feeling for all of them. She was and is a big fan of Michael Jackson. As a teenager she had posters of Michael Jackson on her wall, as did Oprah. She thought that as a French speaking person, she should learn English just in case she might get to perform with him one day, plus she thought if she could be in showbusiness, she could sing with him. She went to school to learn English, she met with him, she performed with him, he came to her show in Vegas, so the Grammys for her was a very difficult emotion. She as honored to be asked, but she was mad that Michael Jackson was not there with them. All of them didnt really want to perform but wanted to carry his message. Even showbiz people sometimes take what the media says as the truth, so she thought Michael was sick. When she saw his movie, she was mad because he was in really good shape. She felt the loss so deeply. After the Grammys, she got together with 80 artists to record a new version of We Are The World, led by Oprah’s friend Quincy Jones. Celine says life does things to us, bad things like earthquakes, and no one deserves that, and it is the responsibility of all of us, of all the artists who can use their voice or TV to raise money they  should. They can get together to say lets get together. It was magical, it was enjoyable, its time to lift them up and not forget, not put our heads down.

Oprah says its wonderful that Celine’s family gets to travel together, and that its hard to believe her son René-Charles is 9. Oprah says she remembers when he was born, just like Celine does. Celine says time flies, he was homeschooling then tour schooling. But now he has his own school, life and teacher, he’s so proud to wear his uniform. They have a female labrador puppy, Charlie. Celine repeatedly says you change your voice with a puppy, and does an impression, Oprah says she does it all the time with her two new puppies.

For one year cameras followed Celine’s every move across five continents, 25 countries, and 93 cities. She sold out one of the largest stadiums in the world in a day. Three million fans came from all over the globe to hear her voice. The concert movie experience is unforgettable with intimate family moments and signature spectacular performances. René is amazing because he walks in the house with treats in two pockets, the puppy is only 5 months old. René regrets the fact that he didn’t have a puppy as a child. Oprah was sorry to hear Celine had a miscarriage. Celine says it’s life, people go through this. They are on the fifth try for a child, she says this one has to come in if five is her lucky number. The crowd cheer. Oprah asks if these moments make her marriage stronger. Celine doesn’t think a child or a pregnancy should make a marriage stronger, it shouldn’t be the job of the child to repair a mariage. People always say things to comfort her, to make her stronger. She will be the one to tell if she’s pregnant and if not she is a lucky artist, wife and mother, and she’s glad.

Oprah asks if there was a conscious decision on tour to enjoy their time abroad. Celine says they decided to make it not only an artist tour but to make it a family adventure to see the beauty of the world. Gail and Oprah went to see her in France. Oprah didn’t want to because the singing would be in French. She says it was fun. Celine did the big tour and then she has been off for a year. Oprah asks what a typical day is like. Celine has never been so busy in her life to go to school at 6.30am with her son. They get involved at school, sometimes she’s pizza mom, but she loves it. She gets to know the environment of her child, she wants to be R.C.’s mom, not R.C.”s mom Celine Dion. She wants to engage, she says we call it a normal life for most people but for Celine it is extraordinary. This is the place she feels so rewarded, to make a difference in her sons life. The schoolwork she can’t even help with but she tries to pretend that she can.

During Celine’s world tour, René-Charles had a private tutor, with mommy time in between shows. After he looses his precious stuffed lamb, Celine screamed and cries when it was found. She says it was such a big thing, when her son started homeschooling he had this lamb with him all the time, and they left it in  a hotel room. R.C. wasnt sleeping well, they tried to get another one online but a new one isn’t crooked and doesn’t smell right. She called the hotel room for 4 or 5 days and she wanted it more than her son wanted it. It was a big thing, she doesnt know if all mothesrs are like this, she gets attached to a 2c thing or $200 thing. New stuff doesnt mean so much but things with memories she is atached to. She has shoeboxes full of leaves, rocks and flowers that her son collected. She keeps everything. When Celine’s dad passed away alot of flowers were sent; nuns in Quebec can dry your flowers and make them into rosary beads. Her whole family received beads from the flowers given to her dad. She doesn’t know what she’ll do wth it but she’ll make something and give it back to her son.This is the longest she’s been away from him, five days is the longest. She wants him with her every day but she respects his life. A video message from her son plays, saying they love her and miss her. Celine and Oprah grab hands.

Celine’s music resonates with people all over the world. Oprah says that music really is the language of the world. Lyndsey from Liverpool England grew up in 16 different foster homes, and Celine Dion’s music taught her to to be loved and love back. Lyndsey waited for Celine outside her hotel room but couldn’t speak, she was too emotional. On Skype, she thanks Celine for making her a better person than she was, she loves her so much and she will always be thankful to Celine for being such an inspiration as a mum, a wife, a daughter and a sibling; she’s a better person because of what Celine does. Alice is a Palestinian student in Jerusalem, she says the music is very popular in the Arab world, even though they’re stereotyped as being a closed society. They like dramatic Western music, and Celine can be heard at many weddings- the first dance for the bride and groom is often a Celine song. Her favorite song is My Heart Will Go On, but she’ll probably use either Power of Love or Because You Love Me for her first song.

All over the world, in the film,  Oprah says the women with the scarves in Arab countries mouth along with the words just like Western women. Celine says that people may not realise how powerful music can be, it breaks barriers and has no religion. Celine is there to serve the music the best she can, she’s not there to create anything. God has given her something to work with, a voice, and she serves the music with the message. She serves the music as best she can. Celine is about to sing a song that represents how she feels about her family, friends and fans, and it’s a song for Oprah. As she sings, family photos are displayed on a screen behind her.

They have been called Canada’s national treasure, the Canadian Tenors are shooting up the charts. They are huge Celine fans. They think they are here for a program on hot new talent, but they’re not. Celine is back stage waiting in the wings about to sing along. In the fake show, Oprah introduces the Canadian Tenors who say they’ve had a great year and will be singing at the Olympics. They sing Hallelujah. Behind them comes Celine Dion, they are shocked yet continue to sing and they all harmonize with Celine Dion.

Oprah goes on stage, and asks them how it was for them , they say they were in shock, they thank Celine for being an inspiration and thank her for the opportunity. One member says that Celine Dion and Oprah have the same quality as Maria Callas to touch people’s heart. Another says that the Oprah factor was enough, and then adding Celine nearly stopped his heart. Celine is going back to Vegas, starting March 2011, with a big band, she will perform her own songs and a tribute to old time Hollywood. The Canadian Tenor’s have a new album in stores now and Celine’s movie will be in the theatres for two weeks only, thanks everybody.

WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY:

Dried flowers can be turned into rosary beads by nuns in Quebec.

Celine Dion is there to serve the music with the message, with her voice given by God.

Celine Dion’s husband is called René and her son is called René-Charles.

Taking your child to school is a normal life for most people but for Celine it is extraordinary.

Some people learn to love and be loved through the music of Celine Dion.

A VERY QUICK SUMMARY:

Women in Arab countries are just like Western women, they sing along with Celine Dion songs too.

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